Marjorie [The Death Of PebbleSplash…]

[SSakii]

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PebbleSplash

RiverClan
~A beautiful scarred white mollie, pale gray and ginger torbie markings with blue eyes~

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You’re welcome, you Taylor swift fans.
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| @poppy. |
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PebbleSplash left camp one snowy morning, tired and unmotivated, like usual… She had come to the conclusion that she had managed to destroy everything that mattered to her… Her lovely friends like NightSpark and LarkStar… Her sweet daughter, BirdSnow, who she couldn’t be more proud of… And worst of all, the she-cat hated herself… There was not a single cat that liked her. That was how she felt, at least… Those were her beliefs, her opinions, her feelings…

Although it was recommended she stayed in camp, the beautiful mollie needed to clear her head… This had become the most common occurrence… Wake up, walk, hunt, eat, walk, sleep, repeat… She was more useless than a newborn kit, because at least a kit would grow with time… Pebblesplash wouldn’t be changing anytime soon. She was getting old, and aged without wisdom, without worth, without reason. She doesn’t have a reason…

This all started when she lost her first true love, SnowLeap… The amazing father of BirdSnow, and the former leader of RiverClan… Ever since the tom went missing, PebbleSplash selfishly lost herself… She felt embarrassed… Embarrassed about how BirdSnow could move on and accomplish something great, while the once beloved torbie mollie withered away like a thornless rose…

She walks along the river bank, peeking into the river to look at herself… The cat that looks back at her is ugly, disgusting, lost all its beauty… As the mollie stares at her own reflection, she can’t help but pity those around her… Those that wanted to be around her… And those that watched as Pebblesplash prioritized self-pity rather than the world around her…

She shakes her head, denying the fact that this was all her fault… She was just sad, that was it… Lightness was coming… Right? She had waited almost 9 moons for things to get better for her, and nothing has changed… Nothing was going to change if Pebblesplash herself couldn’t change… Still, she continues to flee from herself, tears in her eyes as her paws slam against the forest floor.

 

She steps on a stick… It cracks…

She steps on a rock… Her pad cracks…

And with blood pouring out, she steps on a wire…

And it snaps around her neck, holding her tight with such force that it made her attempts at holding her life together look pathetic… However, she didn’t scream, she didn’t try to escape… She was caught in a fox trap… PebbleSplash knows she’s going to die, but she tries to control her airflow so she has longer to live… She wasn’t leaving without saying goodbye…

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[poppy]

Birdsnow wasn’t usually one for walks. There were usually so many other, better things to do that she had kind of forgotten about how calming it was to be alone with your thoughts. How long had it been since she had been able to do something like this? Relax, look at the river and the trees and the sky… sighing softly, she was lost in thought for a little while, staring at the sky. This would have usually been the times when she would sob, howl at the stars she knew were there, and feel lost. These were the times when she usually lost herself the most, but instead, she felt more like herself than she had before. She had gotten rougher, meaner, harder to reach. As the days got colder so did she, because there wasn’t any point in trying to find who she used to be.

She remembered the way that she used to live, the happy, sweet cat she had once been. Making friends left and right, family all around her, building flower crowns, collecting trinkets, chasing butterflies.

But things were different now. She didn’t have many friends. Most of her family was dead or gone. She hadn’t touched a flower in months, hadn’t gone bird watching or butterfly watching. All of her special trinkets, her beloved collections of stones and flowers and feathers had been swept away by the flood. Her face was shadowed with exhaustion and she didn’t feel light anymore. She felt hopeless, dark. Staring at the sky, she almost missed the snap of a stick and the collapsing body of a cat. Blue gaze snapping to attention, she was on her paws in a second, dashing in the direction of the sound. The cat wasn’t struggling, wasn’t fighting, and Birdsnow thought for a moment that surely she was mistaken. Until she came upon a familiar torbie and white body, and she stared down at Pebblesplash, eyes round with shock before her face grew taut with frustration.

Dropping to a crouch, she clenched her jaw and she tried to first gnaw at the wire and then tried to pull it loose. It jerked a bit before coming a bit undone, not enough for Pebblesplash to squeeze through but enough so that breathing would hopefully come a bit easier. ’Dammit, Pebblesplash, FIGHT.’ She prepared herself to snarl out, but the words that came out were a bit different. ”Mom, if there’s an ounce of love for me left in you, for the love of StarClan fight. Don’t you dare just give up- y-you owe me that at least.” Her words, though angry, were underlined with a hint of desperation. Yeah, she didn’t like Pebblesplash much right now, but this was her parent, and Birdsnow had lost too many family members, too many parents, to let this one get away without a fight. Blueberrypaw was gone. She hadn’t seen Troutpaw around much. Pebblesplash had been neglectful (among other things) but she was almost all Birdsnow had left of her family. How was she supposed to live without it?

// @Sakura.

[SSakii]

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PebbleSplash

RiverClan
~A beautiful scarred white mollie, pale gray and ginger torbie markings with blue eyes~

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| @poppy. |
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PebbleSplash looks to Birdsnow with a smile… Even after everything, after how awful she’s been, it’s like fate caused her daughter to be here… To be with her… And after a brief moment in her thoughts, she smiles more… She had lost sight of what mattered, and it took her own life to figure it out… This was what made her happy…

So, she continues to smile, trying to soothe her daughter with gentle whispers… “It’s okay… no need to be scared… I promise you… I’m not going anywhere…” For once, her voice was not only believable, but it was also genuine… For once, Pebblesplash was sure of herself… As the life fades from her beautiful blue eyes, she continues to smile, preparing her last words…

“I… am so lucky to have gotten to know you… And if I could do anything, if I could change anything, I would fix my relationship with you… Even if I was given a chance to have Snowleap by my side, to have leadership, anything… I would always choose you… I would choose you a million times over… You are going to change lives, my baby bird… You’re going to do great things too… Watching you grow into an amazing, resilient, powerful warrior… Has made me so proud… You have made RiverClan so damn proud, sweetheart…”

With a gasp, she pulls her face close to Birdsnow, nuzzling into wherever she could…

“This isn’t goodbye… Its… see you soon… I will always be with you from now on, wether it’s in spirit or in your heart… I will be there… I… love you, Birdsnow…”

and with one final exhale, she was gone…
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[poppy]

Birdsnow felt hot, angry tears filling her eyes. Tears of loss, tears of rage, tears of disbelief. She wasn’t holding this wire open so her mother could totally ignore her and have a goodbye speech. She was holding this damn wire open so her mother could FIGHT, so Birdsnow could finally save at least one parent, so Pebblesplash didn’t get the easy way out. Was that selfish? Not wanting her mom to die just to yell at her once she got better? No. It was well-freaking deserved. ”Damn right you’re not going anywhere, and damn right I’m not scared. Because you’re going to fight for once, you’re not going to give up on yourself, you’re not going to give up on me. Do you hear me, Mom? As your deputy and as your daughter, I’m telling you that if you don’t fight I’m going to… I-I’m going to…” She trailed away, her face feeling hot and her paws shaking with the force of the wire, teeth gradually baring at the exertion.

Pebblesplash began to speak and Birdsnow listened silently, trying to pull the wire off of her mother’s neck, desperation digging its claws into her heart.

As the dying warrior mentioned Bird’s fathers name, the deputy flinched like the torbie had drawn scalding hot, dagger-sharp claws across her face. Breath trembling and tears welling up, she let out a trembling breath. Not for Pebblesplash. For Snowleap. For her Dad, who wouldn’t have given up on her like this. Who wouldn’t have left her all alone like this. Her dad would have never let her go through all that horrible stuff alone. Her dad wouldn’t have let her get hurt over and over again. A rage like Birdsnow had never felt before built up and built up, but so did overwhelming grief that she fought to keep down. Gingerfrost had never acknowledged her as his daughter, but she knew he wouldn’t do this either.

That was before Pebblesplash called Birdsnow “her baby bird”, and Birdsnow felt her chest constrict. You don’t get to call me that. Only Dad can call me that. But she was frozen as her mother spoke, tears dripping down her face as both anger and sadness filled her body. Birdsnow lowered her head slowly to accept her mother’s nuzzle, body shaking. ”I love you too.” She whispered, allowing Pebblesplash to die with peace, with whatever dignity she had left. It was probably the hardest thing Birdsnow would do, letting her mother die with peace only to let Bird live with conflict and pent up anger that she would never let out. Anger that her mother hadn’t fought, anger at being abandoned. Anger that she was taken from her. Anger that she let herself be taken. Maybe that was selfish.

But Birdsnow was okay with being selfish.

”That’s what everyone says.” She whispered out as her mother fell back, limp. Dead. Dead. The crushing weight of reality slammed into her and she released the wire, dropping to her paws with the intensity of the agony. Perhaps this was where she was supposed to hug her mother, bury her face into her fur. Scream.

And Birdsnow screamed, but she hugged herself. Wrapping her paws around herself, she hunched over, letting out a deep, soul shattering scream. Everything she had felt, everything that she had been forced to keep trapped in was let out. A howl of rage, a sob of grief, a shriek of exhaustion, everything. Slamming her paw into the ground over and over until it was numb, she grabbed the nearest object- a random stone, and flung it as hard as she could in any direction.

She knew that StarClan was real, she had BEEN there, she had been StarClan for a little bit. So why the HELL were they letting all this happen? Lifting her gaze with murderous, blazing fury, she stared at the sky until her eyes went out of focus. It was a gray day. Nothing like the sunsets that she had once loved. Grabbing the wire, not worried about hurting her mom anymore, she loosened it enough that she could slip it off Pebblesplash’s head. She took great care in grooming her mother’s bleeding paws and laying her head down gently before snatching the wire and the stick, tearing the stick out of the ground with a snarl of fury, dragging it to the outskirts and flinging it into the bushes. Birdsnow had never felt so furious. So shattered. She felt like she could murder someone, and that thought was terrifying to her. Instead, she padded back to Pebblesplash, gently closing her dull blue eyes and smoothing the unkempt pelt before scooping the older cat onto her back.

Birdsnow felt empty.

Glancing in a nearby pool of water, where unbeknownst to her her mother had also looked into, she saw something different in her reflection. It was terrifying, the emptiness she saw in her own face. But she had her dead mother, her seventh lost parent, on her back. How the hell was she supposed to be okay? Who on earth looked NORMAL after such a loss? What was normal?

[ @Sakura. o7 pebs ]