anarchy [va]

[carmen]

the heir

they draw near.

creeping forward, slow, lumbering. a march towards fate. towards destiny. it was always meant to be. each step another stroke of the painting. it was always leading to this.

inevitable.

they are nothing. everything. the eye of the storm. the overflowing goblet. a facade of calm hiding the chaos within. a chaos threatening to explode, to envelop all that they’ve touched.

rain.

it didn’t bother them, it never bothered them. a small smile flickered across their face. a threat. a promise. a cruel mockery of what once was, what could be.

they are a bringer of transformation, a keeper of stasis. at the beginning there were two and there will be two once more. all remains how it was, yet nothing is left unchanged. grass still grow. steel rusts. in the end all that remains is

them.

she thinks she is safe. she thinks she is the one in control. but she has forgotten what has been left behind. she has abandoned the past. that won’t do, not anymore. they won’t let her forget. but for now: look to the future. continue to stare ahead. forget what’s behind you, the past will forget you. forgive you. yes.

but the heir has not. they won’t forgive you. they haven’t forgotten. stuck in purgatory. not the past. not the future. the exodus: the beginning and the end.

they can not be stopped. try as you might, you can not be saved. you can not escape. cry. run. scream. beg for salvation. pray for revelation. time is running out. keep your eyes open, sister. enjoy the good old days, before they are gone. the phantom has returned, skeletal hands opening the door. the ghost is ready, so, Lark, are you?

the beast has begun its ascent.

the rapture is beginning.

it’s been so long, but just you wait, this will be fun.

oh, this will be fun.

[carmen]

cw: implied illness/medical stuff, dreams/minor hallucinations

peter pan

ragged breaths. searing lights.

pain.

breathe. in, out.

come on, man, breathe. you can’t give up now. they need you, you can’t stop.

it was too much. too much, everything was too much. the lights were blinding, fake and white, ever so slightly off. blood rushed in his ears, he couldn’t move his legs, splayed across the hard floor. everything was spinning, he couldn’t focus long enough to think of anything. there was something he needed to do, somewhere he needed to be. what was he forgetting? it was important, he was certain of it. blurry forms passed by him, not cats, twolegs maybe? it smelled wrong, sterile and white, burning his nose. he needed something. what did he need?

he couldn’t remember much: snippets of conversations, flashes of fur. briarpaw. the name hit him like a truck, and he didn’t know why. faces, how did he know them. who were they. he was panting now, large heaves as forms rushed past him, unfamiliar noises reaching his ears. disoriented. afraid. everything was wrong, everything was different. he wasn’t used to this, nope. nope, nope, nope.

‘i understand. i'll announce this to the clan.. soon’ the last thing he could remember, indecipherable, but there none the less. come on, man, think. who was that? who was he? his head hurt, stars, why did it hurt so much. eyes fluttering shut, all the grey tom could do was futily attempt to grab hold of his conciousness. it was slipping away, everything was slipping away, further into the crevasse that had opened up within his mind. he could see it now, a deep cut jutting across his subconcious. he was falling in. the sounds fading away as he lost his grip and tumbled into the abyss.

the sun was shining. bright and clear, over fields of heather and dandelion. his paws were wet, the rushing water of a creek flowing around them. stepping back, he shook his paws clean before looking around. he had to say it was beautiful, a lovely day. yep, yep. laughter disrupted the birdcalls and he turned, coming face to face with an orange molly. briar. that was the name again, the one he could almost remember. she smiled at him before turning and running away, fading into the wind as he chased after her. she didn’t come back. “wait!” his voice was raw, ragged and torn, disrupting the perfect harmony of the glorious world around him.

he stood, staring at the spot where she had been just before. spinning around, he noticed another cat, slipping into a hole in the ground. running after them, he tumbled down into the tunnels after them, familiar scent of a friend flooding his nose. why was it familiar? who was he following? how did he know they were a friend. “hello?” his voice echoed through the caverns, bouncing around him, thundering through the walls. the cat before him turned around, green eyes glinting in the dim light. the ceiling collapsed.

“help me!” he could hear footsteps as calico paws passed him by, unable to do anything but cry out in pain as they left. his head hurt. stars, his head hurt. it was all wrong, this wasn’t supposed to happen.

then it was gone.

all of it, releasing as if it was never there. he opened his eyes, blinking to adjust to the night, half moon glaring down at them. them. there was someone else here, another shape beside him. a brown cat, glimmery, almost as if she was reflecting the stars. she had helped him. he could feel it in his heart. she had helped him and he could trust her. “fawnlight?” he sat up, taking a step forwards. she looked back at him, a small smile displayed across her face. his grinned and bounded towards her, glee spreading across his face. it was okay, he had found fawnlight. he had found fawnlight. everything was going to be okay.

his paw slipped. he stumbled to the side, trying to stop himself from falling. there was nothing there. the world was collapsing, unfolding around him until all that was left was the molly in front of him. fawnlight. he locked eyes with her, mouth falling open as she shook her head. “what do you mean?” and then she was gone too.

he was in the abyss again, tumbling, spiralling, dizzy. nothing was right, nothing was wrong. the world was upside down. it was in limbo. limbo. he was in limbo. purgatory. the space between. falling or flying, falling or flying. wherever could he be.

the world flashed white.

his eyes flew open.

[carmen]

orpheus

“keep your head up kiddo, it’ll work out just fine.”

her father had left not long after that, but that was fine. she would live by his words, and hey, so far it had gone exactly as he said: just fine. mhm! everything was fine and dandy and blueberry was perfectly happy with the way life was going. her dad had been no parent of the year, but he had stuck around long enough to matter, and she could appreciate that. it could have been worse.

empathy wasn’t the way that the twolegplace worked, and she was fine with that. sure, there was no guarantee of kindness or friendship, but that didn’t mean that she had to be mean. everyone had their own morals. there were no rules set by the world around her, so she’d make her own. what a mistake that had turned out to be.

think back.

a pool of blood, gathering, sticking to her paws. their blood was on her hands. her fault. all her fault. how could she have been so stupid. no. she didn’t want to think about it, she couldn’t think about it, but it didn’t matter. it was stuck in her head, burned into her retinas, it wouldn’t leave. she could feel the crimson creeping up her legs.

“when it becomes too much, take a walk.”

she’d take a walk and end up back there, stuck in that alley, trapped in her head. she’d lean against the trees, but all she could feel was stone. stone. a type of cold that sunk into her bones, that she could feel regardless of the weather. it wouldn’t leave. she had trusted them. they had betrayed her. why had they done that. why had they lied.

she thought they had been friends.

now he was gone and she was alone. but it was okay, she’d perservere. she’d push through to dawn and go from there. continue. alone, but that was okay. maybe she’d always been alone. she couldn’t give up now, she had to find her proof that some good remained in the world. for even if she couldn’t change their hearts, she could move the future. her fate was not fixed, she would help them change.

she would keep going, keep holding on to the thought that there was some good left in this miserable world.

[carmen]

captain ahab

the family she had finally found had disappeared. honestly? she wasn't shocked. how could she blame them for leaving? the world kept turning to ashes over and over again, one day you were bound to give up.

it felt as if she had given up a long time ago. long before bumblebreak took the throne, before nectarflame started her rebellion, before cindersky. she had locked herself up forever ago, and it wasn't until she had met the kids that she had realized how great it was to have friends. they had been strange, creatures she had never totally understood, but they were her younger siblings, and she would protect them with her life. now they were gone, she had failed at her only job, the only thing keeping her from falling apart all over again. god forbid thunderclan be happy.

the patch tabby had waited for nearly a moon before she took off, looking for any sign of them. her friends, her family. wolfie and pebs, golden and hazel. hell, she even missed cinderpaw. she hadn't realized how much they had meant to her until they were gone. stars above, they were gone. flameheart and asterdance, brightpath and cindersky. she hadn't realized the comfort that came with the presence of someone she could trust. ha, and she hadn't even spoken to them much.

but now she was going to search, she was fighting to get her family back- even if it meant leaving the home she had spent over 30 moons in. she would not sit idly by while it crashed and burned again. she would find pebs. she would find cinder. she would find the other strange creatures that she had grown to appreciate. she would fix this. she wouldn't let them disappear the way she had let oatkit. for the first time, she would try.

"goodbye. i can't promise i'll miss you, but you were home. that, i won't forget."

she turned back to the trees as she stepped across the border, whispered words spoken to some unknown object. there was something about stepping into the unknown with purpose, a goal, that made it feel like maybe it wasn't as hopeless as she'd always believed. maybe this time, they'd be ok.

the white whale which she would forever hunt.