Understanding the better part of me [P]

[namen_roodles]

MOSSTANGLE
Shadowclan Warrior | 20 moons | Large, dark brown-and-white tabby she-cat with green eyes
~~~

The meeting was over. Whatever duties following it complete. Mosstangle had waited just out of the rain for Blackjaw to finish up his introductions with Wildpaw. She had looked so serene and patient in the clearing while she waited. She answered some of Morningpaw's questions. Then she was alone and waiting. Her paws hadn't kneaded the ground. Her claws never sank into the dirt. Despite this, her heart had been racing. Her ears had felt hot. She almost imagined the raindrops sizzling off of her pelt from the heat of a nervous energy.

It felt like a mixture of childish glee and unbridled anxiety. Her stomach twisted in knots that made her queasy, yet she felt lighter than ever. The rain still fell, only getting heavier. It did not deter her from walking across the territory with Blackjaw. The rolling thunder wasn't scary beside him. The way the fog parted from the rain was much the same as it parted for the duo. The eerie landscape that was shadowclan's territory passed by, darkened even more by the storm. The smell of electricity in the air was oddly soothing, despite how it made her fur tingle.

She slipped into the grove first, shaking water off of her pelt as they finally found the shelter of its cave. The space felt dark with the storm rumbling around. The rain seemed to only pelt harder outside as the moments passed, like it didn't want them to leave this place. It was a deterrent, as though the stars themselves refused to allow them to leave until they'd both spoken their piece. Mosstangle could only hope that Blackjaw had the same thoughts in mind. It had taken a while for her to understand the feelings that churned in her every time he was around. Every time she thought of him. Every time she heard his name, or saw a flash of white fur.

The way she felt emptier without him around was sometimes unbearable. The way that she always hoped he was around all the time. The way she didn't care if they sat in silence, as long as they sat together. There was only one word for that feeling... and it wasn't obsession.

Mosstangle turned back as Blackjaw stepped in, not giving him time to shake the water from his pelt before she rubbed her head beneath the black fur on his chin. She wanted to start. Her heart was racing... but he had asked for the meeting. "You start." She mewed, stepping back to let him shake himself off and sitting down. She still had a nervous energy beneath the surface that she misinterpreted his request. What if this was about something completely different than she thought? She didn't usually doubt herself so much.

She didn't want to mess this up.

@Mr_Possessive

[Mr_Possessive]

⋆⁺‧₊☽The Glowing Shadow☾₊‧⁺⋆
☆-Blackjaw-☆
[He/Him]
{23 Moons}
~Straight~
"They told me all of my cages were mental"
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

This was it. The storm was intensifying. Raindrops falling harder, the thunder growing louder. Flashes of white light cutting through the foggy terrain. Yet, an odd peacefulness settled in the white tom's chest. Despite the intensity of the storm, and the pungent smell of electricity and swamp fog mixing in the air, he felt serene and at peace. Why? Well, Mosstangle was beside him.

These feelings, they all culminated in the tom's mind, until finally they gave themselves a name. Love. Her absence made him feel hollow. Her presence gave him a rush of joy. Her scent gave him a home. Her gaze, he could have been trapped in that green forest for days. Here they were. Where it had all started.

The tom shook the drops he could off his pelt as they stepped into the cave. His golden gaze glinted with the pale light filtering in. The cave felt welcoming. Like it was waiting for them. The mingling scent of dew and wet stone. Blackjaw's heart nearly skipped a beat when Mosstangle pressed against him, nuzzling her head below his. That was all the warmth he needed.

"Mosstangle," the tom started, a longing twinge in his voice.

This was it. Finally. No distraction. No interruption. Just them, hiding in a cave during a rainstorm, that they had trekked through to get here. Their first meeting spot.

"I care for you, so, so much," the tom whispered. He knew what he wanted to say. He so desperately wanted to say it, but fear stopped him. What if she doesn't feel the same? What if I'm reading this all wrong? He couldn't get the word out of his chest.

"Come on you dope, just tell her already!,"

@namen_roodles

[namen_roodles]

MOSSTANGLE
Shadowclan Warrior | 20 moons | Large, dark brown-and-white tabby she-cat with green eyes
~~~

Her heart skipped a beat as he spoke her name. Mosstangle could've melted. The electric nervousness seemed the only thing that kept her stable. The air felt so warm despite the storm. It might've been stuffy, but something else hung heavy around them. Unspoken. Yet to be heard. It felt like it was dragging her down as though a terribly betrayal for not speaking it sooner.

Nothing was stopping them. No apprentices to interrupt silly flirting. No clanmates to rush them or listen in. No one else would have rushed out into a storm to be alone. No sane cat would follow them as they slipped away into the shadows of the territory. Hardly anyone else would question why they slipped out, either. Here they were, close together in the dim light, highlighted in every flash of white that lit up beautiful golden orbs in front of her. Two little beams of sunlight itself. Warm. Comfortable. Always bright. She could bask in their glow just as willingly as she would on a sunny day.

He spoke. He whispered. Her heart raced as she looked back into his warm eyes. Mosstangle felt nervousness slowly ebb away. This was the time. This was the chance she had been waiting for. She couldn't let it slip away. After all the teasing from Smokefern? No. It was obvious. She could only hope that this wasn't actually a rejection notice. Mosstangle didn't fear rejection... but, in this moment, it was the most terrible thing. The worst case scenario. It would be earth shattering.

But, when was the last time she ran away because she was scared?

It was when they were in the honeysuckle tree together. She had been afraid, then. It was too big of a feeling. It was still too big of a feeling. Mosstangle didn't know where this would go. It was so freeing to know her truth, now. She wouldn't run this time. She wouldn't avoid him like a silly kit hiding from their parents because they were in trouble. There was no hiding it anymore.

Mosstangle stepped closer to Blackjaw, wanting nothing more than to just stare into the orbs of golden sky on his face. She wanted to stay here. It couldn't be unspoken anymore. Even if she misinterpreted this. Even if it meant the end. It truly would be the end of her if he didn't feel the same. There couldn't be a worse end to her than to be without him.

So, as his speech faltered... As he began... She couldn't hold it in anymore. "I love you," She mewed, hardly a whisper. It felt so loud in the quiet of the cave where the only sound was the drumming of rain outside. Despite how quiet it was, Mosstangle felt like she had screamed it at the top of her lungs. Her heart pounded. She wanted him to say it back. Please, just say it back...

@Mr_Possessive

[Mr_Possessive]

⋆⁺‧₊☽The Glowing Shadow☾₊‧⁺⋆
☆-Blackjaw-☆
[He/Him]
{23 Moons}
~Straight~
"They told me all of my cages were mental"
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

"I love you"

The words rang in the tom's ears, time and time again. It felt like an eternity, the few seconds of silence between them. He stared into the shining emerald pools that he'd dreamed of, so many nights. The queen that made him feel seen. Like he was worth the space. All of his self doubt and loathing meant nothing when she was with him.

And she loved him

"I-I love you too", the tom whispered.

His eyes filled with tears. Relief washed over him like a tidal wave. Finally it was said. It was known.

"Mosstangle, I love you," he purred loudly, few tears falling from his eyes as he looked longingly at the she-cat. The large tom felt as if the world could collapse in at any minute. He would wake up, and this dream would be nothing but that. A dream.

She was here though. The tom took a small step forward, standing face to face with Mosstangle. He glanced down slightly, and smiled widely. His tail flicked, as the tom dipped his head to place his nose against the queen's.

"I've wanted to say that for so long,"

@namen_roodles

[namen_roodles]

MOSSTANGLE
Shadowclan Warrior | 20 moons | Large, dark brown-and-white tabby she-cat with green eyes
~~~

The silence was terrifying. It felt like eternity that she waited. That she wanted him to say something, anything. Even no would've been better than the silence. It was suffocating. It was like an icy plunge into the unknown. The seconds felt like minutes. Hours, even, that they hung there, looking at one another after her confession. She didn't regret a moment of it, though, and despite the cold dread of his hesitation, she couldn't have felt safer.

He said it.

He loved her.

Relief flooded over her, visibly drooping her ears and dropping her tail as her tension left her. She felt momentarily dizzy as he said it again. She purred and stepped closer to return the nose touch. All the puzzle pieces fell together as she moved in to nuzzle and rub away his tears. Why did he cry? It brought tears to her own eyes.

"Stars, I love you, Blackjaw," She mewed as she sat and buried her face into his neck, taking in the intoxicating scent. "Stop that crying, you furball!" She sobbed, not able to contain the flow of emotions. Relief. Happiness. Vulnerability. "You're-you're making me cry!" She complained, playful and happy despite trying hard to hide her own tears. Why was she crying!? Why was the sky still crying?

Were the stars always crying happy tears with them?

@Mr_Possessive

[Mr_Possessive]

⋆⁺‧₊☽The Glowing Shadow☾₊‧⁺⋆
☆-Blackjaw-☆
[He/Him]
{23 Moons}
~Straight~
"They told me all of my cages were mental"
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Blackjaw couldn't even help himself at this point. The tears were not stopping. No matter how hard he willed them to go away, they simply wouldn't. "I would if I could you furball," he purred through broken tears. He was so deeply entranced and in love with her.

His tail curled around her, his head resting on hers as he moved closer. They couldn't even get closer, and it wasn't close enough. The tom took a deep breath, the queen's scent wrapping around his nose. She was his. She was his home. "I love you Mosstangle," the tom purred quietly. He couldn't say it enough.

He didn't want to leave this place. They could stay there for the rest of their moons and he would be just fine with it. "I never would've thought that the warrior with burrs in her pelt would become my love," he purred, the tears slowly dwindling as he thought back to their first time meeting.

@namen_roodles

[namen_roodles]

MOSSTANGLE
Shadowclan Warrior | 20 moons | Large, dark brown-and-white tabby she-cat with green eyes
~~~

Mosstangle felt the tears slowly stop as she cuddled up close to Blackjaw and she laughed. She just wanted to melt and never leave his embrace again. "Pine needles. Sap and pine needles." She purred and laughed the silly correction. "I still haven't hunted squirrels since." She admitted with another chuckled as she nuzzled his neck. The only prey to best her in a chase. How silly. It had been one of the peaks of her clumsiness that she had slowly begun to grow out of as of late.

Mosstangle pulled her head back just a bit, arching her neck, she placed a paw gently on his nose and, if he allowed her, gave his face a good grooming. She wanted to calm down his crying. Bring him comfort like he brought her just by being near. The silly crybaby. She couldn't love him more. His emotions on full display. There were so few she could feel vulnerable around. She wouldn't have changed a thing about their first meeting in the territory, as embarrassed as she may have been that day. How far away she was from the complaining, ranting she-cat covered in pine needles and lost in trying to figure out a way to get them out of her pelt.

Here he was, though. As stable, calm, and smart as ever in her eyes despite the tears. They really had been through it together, huh? Yet, she had never wanted to see him falter for even a second. He brought her so much strength with his support. She could only hope to do the same for him.

@Mr_Possessive

[Mr_Possessive]

⋆⁺‧₊☽The Glowing Shadow☾₊‧⁺⋆
☆-Blackjaw-☆
[He/Him]
{23 Moons}
~Straight~
"They told me all of my cages were mental"
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Oh right, pines and sap. Blackjaw snickered quietly when the queen corrected him, shaking his head. Granted he was so in the moment, he just knew she had something stuck in her pelt (or his rper just casually had a brain fart).

The tom's ears perked curiously when Mosstangle placed her paw on his nose, but he relaxed for a moment when she started to groom his face, wiping the tears away and catching the newly fallen ones. They were dwindling to a near stop at this point, the sheer joy bubbling inside of him instead of pouring out in the form of tears. He waited for her to finish, before he did the same thing to her, cleaning away the dried tear stained fur on her cheeks and under her eyes. He looked down at her, gaze warmer than ever, examining the look in the emerald pools of her eyes.

Pure, unadulterated love and happiness.

He was happy. Completely and totally. For the first time in moons.

@namen_roodles