Abnormality Dancing Girl. (solo)

[SSakii]

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Mentions —> @ N/A
Notes: Solo Post, a lot of the stuff in here is metaphorical.
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★— — > “Did I Get It…? A brand new me…?”

★ Fawnpaw had just gotten her new name back. She was going to use this new name immediately. It was the name she was born with, the name that she had her entire life… Becoming an apprentice was hard because she had lost this name along with everything that came with it. Fawnpaw was a name given to her by her mother, someone that had passed far too early. Her mother was a warrior of ThunderClan named Daintydoe, and being the she-cat’s only baby, she carried on the deer-like name. Daintydoe disappeared immediately after Fawnpaw was born, but she had heard a few stories of her mum. Apparently she was a Tom-obsessed maniac that desperately wanted to be a mother. Daintydoe had never gotten her wish, as she had almost abandoned her daughter for no reason at all. Because of this, it was likely that Fawnpaw wasn’t carrying 100% Thunderclan blood.

★ She could empathize with an embarrassed mother. It must be difficult to be the mother of a baby caused by disloyalty and rule breaking. The code was the very foundation of the clans, so the humiliation must’ve burned into Daintydoe. The most heartbreaking part about Fawnpaws existence is that it was evident her mother never really loved her father. Fawnpaw knew how mothers were, as she had just spent over 6 moons with a nursery full of them. They wouldn’t leave their babies, not unless they thought they needed to. She knew her mom was selfish and a coward, otherwise she, Daintydoe and her anonymous father would’ve been a happy family. She wonders if BumbleStar knew this… Maybe that’s why she got the name Doepaw… In the moment of her rename and ceremony, the name part didn’t matter to her whatsoever, as she was more focused on becoming a ‘paw,’ rather than the prefix she carried.

★— — > “From the ruins of that warped love, it was created… A brand new me…”

★ After spraining her paw, she had some time to think and ponder and wonder… What weight did a name carry? What weight did her name carry? Who really was Fawnpaw? Who in the stars name was she even honouring? Should she even be honoring a she-cat that ran away from her own BABY? For some reason she had grown so attached to this name that meant nothing to her. It made her mad that this was her name. She was Fawnpaw, and she couldn’t change that. She couldn’t go and ask to be someone else without knowing who she actually was. Perhaps with time she would discover it, but Fawnpaw was still young, and it would take time to figure out who she was and who she wanted to be. Even though this upset her, she understood that being patient was the key.

★— — > “See? I'll show you a completely new me…!”

★ For now, she would find out who she didn’t want to be, and that of which was her own cowardly mother. Fawnpaw knew she needed to find a new ‘her,’ a brand new Fawn… Her change would be dramatic, so all eyes would land on her, so they saw her as her own cat rather than her non-existent, unimportant mother. The she-cat begins to laugh to herself, laughing with agony. She wasn’t even humored, she was just sad. As much as she wanted to run away, she knew she couldn’t. She hadn’t even SEEN the outside of Thunderclan camp. Where would she even go? It made her mad that she hadn’t even seen the outside of the camp. Would she end up like her mother if she left? Perhaps her mum saw something better off territory. Fawnpaw hissed…

★ She was abnormal, an abnormality within the clan, within this forest. It was time she wore it proudly on her fur. Fawnpaw was tired of hiding this part of her that was howling like a wolf, calling like an eagle… Everyone will look at her. In a clan full of caterpillars, she would form her cocoon and become a butterfly… “…Yes… I‘ll be a butterfly… That’s it…” The tall apprentice smiled and went to her nest, knowing the next time she emerged, she would have grown her wings…

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