Generational Trauma [Weaselfang VA Collection]

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Hello and Welcome to "Generational Trauma” Collection

In this series of VAs (as of yet undetermined length) I will be covering a significant portion of Weaselfang’s background (Hazelstripe’s mother) and backstory to give a bit of insight to a bit of background into Hazelstripe and get myself back into writing.

Disclaimer and Content Warnings: This entire thread will feature subjects of abuse (physical, mental, emotional), dissociation, extreme duress and fear, PTSD, misogyny, sexism, and potentially self-harm and suicidal thoughts. Please be mindful of that as you read. If such content and/or subjects make you uncomfortable, please stop. If you, yourself have had such thoughts, remember that you are loved and I suggest that you seek attention to get those resolved.

I. Insight

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Weaselpaw
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Weaselpaw prided herself in her looks. Perhaps it was as a result of taking after her mother who was also quite beautiful, or maybe it was due to her narcissism. Whatever the case may be, her mother constantly told her that she was beautiful, and her father – as flawed as he was, said that she would grow into an attractive she-cat one day. It didn’t help that many of her peers thought that she was attractive as well. As a result of this, she believed she was the most gorgeous creature to grace the earth and carried herself as such. She was quite perfect if she said so herself. No scars marked her gorgeous pelt, nor did she go a moment without impeccably groomed fur.

All of this was a result of what her parents taught her. Father told her that she-cats ought to look pretty in order to find a mate and have kits to contribute to the future of the clan. She didn’t argue, after all, Father had been around for quite some time and was rarely wrong about anything. She had once asked Mother her opinion on it, but she was roughly reprimanded and told not to ask such asinine questions again and especially not to ask Father about it, so she kept her mouth shut. Father would often times ramble about how it wasn’t right that Dawnstar, and even her mother before her, Icestar had been leaders. “Not a she-cat’s place.” he often told her, shaking his head in disappointment every time “They should just focus on hunting for food and having and providing for the kits of the clan.” Who was she to argue? Her parents knew best, and no good would come out of being defiant – something she learned the hard way.

There was a time when she had the audacity to talk back to Father (who coincidentally was her mentor), and she received a harsh blow to the face that sent her sprawling. “An apprentice, much less a she-cat shouldn’t mouth off to others. It is your role to be obedient and serve those above you. Now shut your damn mouth and follow instructions!” He spat at her, malice lacing his amber gaze. After this incident, she made sure not to outwardly question either her father or her mother again.

At this time, it hadn’t been too long after she was apprenticed. She ended up apprenticed to Father, whether because that was his suggestion to the leader or because that’s what was decided randomly, she ended up learning from him. Father made sure to let her know that he was to listen to what he said and only what he said, and if she were to “learn” anything from another warrior, he would check with him first to ensure its validity. Father was quite strict, but he had always been like this, so she didn’t know any better. To her, Father was an all-knowing being who along with Mother, simply wanted what was best for her and the family. Weaselpaw always wondered if part of it had to do with her siblings. Father had kits with other queens, she knew that, and she also had a vague idea that she had littermates at some point, but she could not remember their faces or scents, nor did she know who the other kits that Father sired were.

It was a shame, really. Oftentimes in her kithood, she wanted to do normal kit things like play with the other kits or bat at falling leaves, but Father and Mother dissuaded her from such endeavors. Of course, there were one or two times she managed to do it without them knowing, but for the most part, she was under their strict, watchful eyes. It made misbehaving and being “normal” an impossibility, and she spent most of her time being taught about the warrior code and how to be a “proper ShadowClan cat”.

She didn’t understand. A lot of the things didn’t make sense to her. Why did she have to worry about that stuff when she was so young? Didn’t she have her whole life to worry about that? She never asked of course, not after that altercation with Father, but it didn’t stop the thoughts from manifesting in her head despite her best efforts to keep them at bay.

Anyways, as far as introductions go, this one is quite messy, but so is the story of Weaselfang. Perhaps a bit of insight into her life can help show why Hazelstripe ended up the way she did.