☾ the moon reveals the truth

[Wingnettle]

╔═════════*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═════════╗
Moonpaw (she/her)
Shadowclan ❍ 10 moons
Black and orange tortoiseshell with half face ginger and amber eyes
╚═════════*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═════════╝



Moonpaw wasn't sleeping.
The nest beside hers was empty, this night. Cold, unmoved. Hers, on the opposite, was warm and totally messy. Scraps of moss were scattered all around, and her fur had caught little twigs and debris that had been originally positioned under the soft materials. All the feathers had been lost.

The black tortoiseshell was resting her chin on her paws, amber eyes narrowed to slits. She was staring at a little water drop that didn't really want to fall from the leaf it was hanging on. She stared harder at it, and still the waterdrop hung on. Why don't you fall? Why are you still there when all the others have fallen already? She couldn't understand that. Was there some kind of natural law that prevented it from following the others? Why does it have to remain there, all alone?
...Pathetic.

Despite her thoughts, her body couldn't hide the painful emotions that her head denied. Teardrops streamed from her closed eyes, but she forced herself not to sob as the others around her rolled in their peaceful sleep.
Everything would be okay. She didn't need a brother, or a mother, or a father... She had a mentor, and that was enough. She would soon become a warrior. No one would tell her what to do. She didn't need anyone fussing over her or grooming her fur when she was tired. No one to bring her fresh-kill when she returned from training.
I don't need... anyone.

A sob escaped her mouth, and she quickly tapped it close with her paws. A pang of panic surged through her. Did she awake someone? Oh, crap, please let everyone sleep...

But the night wasn't made to be eversilent. The moonlight will always bring the truth to the black shadows.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

[ @Estelle ]

[Estelle]

Another restless night. The former queen couldn't find a wink of sleep these days, kept awake by the woes of her worries, the woes her mind would not let go off. Like a drop of water that held on after everything had fallen, here she sat, all alone. Sometimes she thought herself a fool, other times she thought herself strange. But perhaps it came down to the same thing: she couldn't understand why she had no control over the thoughts that haunted her mind. If it was hers, should she not be in control of it? But Nightshiver had long learned that, no matter how much you might want to, no one truly controlled anything in life. That's something she had to accept, just like many others. But the fear of what might happen, if she let these thoughts run rampant the way they did. What might await her then?

These questions weigh heavy on her mind, attained by curiosity and a will to get rid of these worrying thoughts and sleep. For once in her life sleep peacefully until morning comes. She'd seen nightfall and the sunrise too many times in one lifetime. She was growing tired. And yet she could sleep. Still, she loved watching the moon. It was her one source of comfort in the darkness of this clan. Her eyes grew soft as she watched it, the world around her disappearing. When she heard a sudden sob.

Her ears perked, and her eyes swivelled around to the apprentice's den. Albeit only a sob, the voice sounded awfully familiar, and a pang of worry hit her chest. With knit brows she got up, daring to step closer and closer to the den until she could peek inside, the dark space only slightly illuminated by the moon's light. Was that Moonpaw? She spotted the shaking apprentice's back, a veil of sadness over her nest. She hesitated, not sure what to do. She wanted to turn back and let someone more trusted comfort the apprentice, but the sight of her left Nightshiver frozen in place. She couldn't leave her like this. So, after a few hearbeats, hesitantly and carefully, the molly stepped inside. With practiced ease she manoeuvred around the sleeping bodies and filled nests, until she stood near that of the apprentice, tail wrapping around herself.
"Moon..paw? What's... wrong?"
She questioned ever so quietly, not wanting to disturb anyone whether it be the sleeping apprentices or Moonpaw herself.


[ @Wingnettle ]

[Wingnettle]

╔═════════*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═════════╗
Moonpaw (she/her)
Shadowclan ❍ 10 moons
Black and orange tortoiseshell with half face ginger and amber eyes
╚═════════*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═════════╝



Moonpaw suddenly froze at the sound of a voice behind her. She stopped sobbing, holding her breath for a few moments before taking the courage to turn and glance at the she-cat. Nightshiver.
The black tortoiseshell turned back again to rub off the tears from her face, not wanting the queen to see her in this state. She was supposed to be like a warrior. Strong, sturdy, resilient. Untouchable.

The queen's breath was warm on her pelt, and the sound of the apprentices sleeping around her was the only sound that echoed in the fresh night.
Eyes flat to her skull, she walked past Nightshiver and out in the moonlight. A light breeze ruffled her fur, hitting her wet eyes with more fierceness that she could ever summon in that moment. I am... strong..
She repeated those words in her mind repeatedly, again and again.

As the white queen joined her, she sat down but closed her eyes. She didn't want to watch the moon tonight. She knew he would watch it too, and she didn't want to... let herself remember.
With a sigh, she commented softly in a whisper: "...Pinepaw left." He left me. Everyone has. I'm...

I'm... alone?

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

[ @Estelle ]

[Estelle]

Cool air brushed her pelt from the open den mouth, air almost as cool as Moonpaw as she passed the white feline with a brisk step. Still, sadness hung in the air. A sadness Nightshiver could ignore, lest she be careless. But did the qpprentice even want her here? Nightshiver paused before following, her step half raised as she hesitated. Moonpaw looked so lonely. So sad. She wished comfort and peace upon the child, but she couldn't leave her be either. With a deep breath the former queen made her decision, stepping her raised paw down in front of her. Determined, she allowed herself to walk forward until she stood by Moonpaw, soft presence contrasting the gloomy air. Almost wistful, hoping nothing was terribly amiss, Nightshiver looked to the moon before sitting down. Her one comfort.

But her hopes were for naught. Like clouds covering the moon's light, Moonpaw's voice sounded soft and broken besides her. Nightshiver's ears stood on end, catching the quietly spoken words, her breath catching in her throat. Pinepaw left. Silence and sadness overcame the feline, as did understanding. Moonpaw's brother left ShadowClan, Moonpaw's brother left Moonpaw behind. She didn't know the extend of it, she didn't know how his departure went. All she knew is that Pinepaw left, and Moonpaw felt left behind. Her brows furrowed sadly.

"I'm... sorry."
Sad eyes falling onto Moonpaw, unsure of what to say. The words felt awkward, uncalled for, still resonated within the night. Then again, anything she might think or say felt wrong. ShadowCLan wasn't for everyone; some part could understand Pinepaw's decision to leave. ShadowClan is... A lot. And for some it is better to leave when that becomes too much. But that didn't mean the people left behind weren't hurting over it, Moonpaw was an example of that. Those left behind may even hurt the most. Not knowing what to say precisely, Nightshiver remained silent, letting Moonpaw speak on should she so wish, or keep her company in the quiet. This needed time, and time is what they had.


[ @Wingnettle ]

[Wingnettle]

╔═════════*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═════════╗
Moonpaw (she/her)
Shadowclan ❍ 11 moons
Black and orange tortoiseshell with half face ginger and amber eyes
╚═════════*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═════════╝

Moonpaw noticed the white queen's presence beside her, but didn't acknowledge it by any sign. Instead she remained still, muscles tense as she fought her inner demons in the silence of the night. In the distance, an owl hooted rhythmically. But the black tortoiseshell didn't even notice it.

Her heart was cracked. Again, again and again.
Everyone has left. Everyone leaves me.
What was the meaning of family, again? Shadowclan wasn't her family. It was her home, her clan. And would it be enough now?

She raised her amber gaze to the moon, silently asking Starclan for an answer.
...I've never asked you anything, Starclan. Never prayed for a miracle, nor for hopeless possibilities. But now... I wish an answer more than anything else.

What I am, then? What's my purpose here...?

Seconds passed, but the breeze only carried the sound of leaves rustling gently and ruffling her long fur. She lowered her head and closed her eyes, wishing she could stop crying and be brave. Strong, like a warrior. Maybe even like Dawnstar.

She didn't flinch when Nightshiver's soft words reached her, but only flicked her ear in response. The white queen was kind to come here and keep her company, she thought calmly while watching her black paws. But she is not my mother, nor my mentor. Why should anyone take care of me now?

But the truth was, Moonpaw didn't want to need that. She felt weak, and strongly wished not to have had that thought.
"...It doesn't matter." She replied with a flat, calm voice. She was repeating it all over again in her mind, trying to let the words sink into her head completely, slowly.

Because it wouldn't matter in the end, right?

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

[ @Estelle ]