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  #1  
Old February 21st, 2017, 10:39 AM
Mango's Avatar
Mango Mango is offline
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Default I cry when the leaves fall

Pinekit is born in Thunderclan, her [mother] ignores her spending time with [littermate 1] and [littermate 2]. Her [father] never is around. Pinekit didn't seem to mind the way [mother treated her as a young kit, she still snuggled up in the bed and played with [littermate 1] and [littermate 2]. Pinekit soon turned two moons old and was forced to sleep in a separate nest. [littermate 1] decided if mother is doing this then they shouldn't play with her. [Littermate 2] played with her still. Pinekit and [littermate 2] played together every day, until [mother] interfered and ensured [Littermate 2] and Pinekit couldn't play together. [Mother] took Pinekit one night and brought her to the Shadowclan border and screamed at her. Leaving her shivering in the cold and rain before disapearing. [Dawn patrol] finds Pinekit shivering and takes her to camp. They planned to take her back, but Pinekit said that her clanmates kicked her out and refused to say why. [Father] walks up and nuzzles Pinekit revealing he is her father and that mother is cruel. He promises safety in Shadowclan. Pinekit becomes friends with [friend 1] and [friend 2].


They become apprentices Pinepaw gets a [mentor]. Pinepaw and [friend 1] are playing all the time, until [friend 2] talks them into doing a few bad things such as, breaking the warrior code and hunting on the moor. They soon do small things like that alot. They become warriors.

[Friend 1] says they are done with the kit stuff and ditches them to a tom and practically disappears in the clan. [Friend 2] talks Pinefall into murdering [kittypets] at night. Pinefall and [friend 2] never harm clanmates. [tom 1] enters Pine's life and is just as evil. They become mates. Pinefall, [friend 2], and [tom 1] start murdering [Windclan] and [Riverclan]. They don't touch Thunderclan due to Pinefall's heritage. One night, Pinefall snarls in rage and tells them go on their own she's going to go kill an old foe. She finds her [mother] by the border with [littermate 1] and [littermate 2]. She unsheathes her claws and snarls at her [mother] telling her to say her last words. [Mother] starts sobbing and says she's sorry and that she regrets what she did and that she shouldn't have been so cruel. Pinefall is shocked and doesn't know what to do, so she attacks. Her [mother] fights back and easily pins Pinefall down and tells her to not kill kin. Pinefall realizes she's an evil murderer and shocked and scared. She runs away to Thunderclan, letting [mother] take care of her [littermate 2] also does, though [littermate 1] still glares at her. When she is stronger and a member of Thunderclan and adjusted to life, she askes [littermate 1] why she hates her. [Littermate 1] says it's because of kithood and how she never played together. Pinefall explains that [mother] wouldn't let them play, not her. [Littermate 1] walks away angrily. Pinefall later discovers she's expecting [tom 1]'s kits. She doesn't know what to do, mainly because, she wants them to know their father, but she doesn't want to return to Shadowclan, nor does she want to give them up. At a gathering, she finds [tom 1] who is angry she left. She tells him she's expecting his kits. He is shocked. She asked what to do, saying the kits need to know who their father is and everything. They decide a plan. Pinefall gives birth to [kit 1], [kit 2], [kit 3], and [kit 4]. When they are off milk, Pinefall takes [kit 1] and [kit 3] to Shadowclan for [tom 1] to raise, keeping [kit 2] and [kit 3]. When they are three moons old, [tom 1] and Pinefall meet at the border, with the kits. Each kit says where they want to stay. [kit 1] and [kit 2] go to Thunderclan, [kit 3] and [kit 4] go to Shadowclan. The kits become apprentices and life is fine. [tom 2] starts flirting with Pinefall. She resists, recalling what happened with [tom 1]. She unintentionally took him as a mate. And had [kit 5] and [kit 6]. They were raised in Thunderclan. They become apprentices. [tom 2] dies from being sick and insisting on patroling with a cough and getting attacked by [kit 3] by the Shadowclan border. Pinefall is enraged with [kit 3] and finds them one day patrolling alone. She attacks [kit 3] and sees [friend 2] who thinks she came to her senses and helps her finish off [kit 3] who dies a slow bloody death. A few days later, Pinefall feels guilty and sad and runs away. However, [kit 1] and [littermate 1] followed her. She stood on the cliff listening to the wind recalling life, preparing to commit suicide, [kit 1] arrived and cried for her to stop. She apologized saying she couldn't stand the idea of staying alive anymore. [littermate 1] arrives screeching at her. She said to go home, but they both blocked her. She realized she couldn't defeat them. She ran away from them and then leaped off a cliff, falling, and died.

Roles:
Mother
Father
Littermate 1
Littermate 2
Friend 1
Friend 2
Tom 1
Tom 2
Kit 1
Kit 2
Kit 3
Kit 4
Kit 5
Kit 6
mentor

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Last edited by Mango; February 21st, 2017 at 12:41 PM.
  #2  
Old February 21st, 2017, 10:48 AM
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Default Re: I cry when the leaves fall

Could you organise this into paragraphs? It's incredibly hard to read. And I have 20/20 vision.
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  #3  
Old February 21st, 2017, 11:17 AM
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Cool Re: I cry when the leaves fall

Name: Foxkit
Age: 3 moons
Gender: male
Perso: on site
Apperance: on site
Other: Littermate 2 cause Fox is a good bean?
PPD: uhhhhh lemme check
RP sample:
 
"Please no." the apprentice purred. Then she nodded at her mother's words, and she seemingly read her mind. "You will be a forever queen." she meowed and nuzzled her mother again before looking back. "I'm off to the apprentices den, then I might be back her since Surge can't keep organized." she purred in amusement, having teased Surgestorm many times about his disability for organization. Although he protests, she knows that they all have a good time, and him bringing up the fact he might pick a new apprentice soon meant she wouldn't help out much, unless it was either her or her best friend Moonpaw. They were like sisters, and she felt a strong connection between her and Moon. But, however, if they weren't picked then that meant less visits, although Leopard would of course butt in because she loved Surgestorm and same with Moonpaw. She felt pride in her as Surge said many times he loved their help, and that they make a great team. What if he picked two apprentices? Her mind raced around this thought too and she smiled at her mom, curiousity beaming off her like rays of the sun. "Can Surge pick two apprentices?" she asked.
 


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