[Rejected] cindersky

[taillow]

Cindersky
She was no stranger to having eyes on her, watching her every move. Her time spent as ThunderClan’s leader had gotten her used to it, so Cindersky padded in with her head held high. Moons had passed since she had really set paw into the main hunting grounds of StarClan, though whispers of the Covenant had reached her ears. Blue gaze swept across the eyes that landed on her, looking for a familiar green set. She would be surprised if he was here, but wouldn’t put it past him. Though part of her wished she had been able to speak with him before going through with this (she could practically hear his growls of disapproval) she did not wish to waste anymore time. Plus, the sooner she got her paws back on solid ground, the sooner she could prove him wrong. That alone brought a soft smirk to her features.

”What makes me stand out?” Her voice was a bit rough from not having used it so she cleared her throat and tried again. ”For those of you who don't know me, my name is Cindersky. I am a former leader of ThunderClan." Introductions were important, weren't they? After all she wasn't entirely sure which cats would be the ones to judge her today... "For the countless seasons that I was alive, I gave everything I had to ThunderClan. I put aside whatever it was that I wanted for the good of the Clan. I lifted us out of the hole that Eveningstar threw us into with the Clan at my back, and I fought tooth and claw with them to ensure that the tragedies we suffered through were not in vain. Every decision I made, everything I had to give up… It was for the good of the Clan.” Memories of her sister and that brutal day in the forest where she had been forced to turn her heart away from love and instead towards the Clan flashed through her mind, but did not reach her eyes. ”I thought I was content to live among the stars when I died. I thought that my time had come, and that was it. I was destined to leave behind my home and the cats there who needed me.” Some even more than they let on…

Cindersky let a beat or two of silence fall, in the meantime taking a moment to study the cats who were watching her, judging her. She didn’t know them, but that didn’t unnerve her. She had faced far greater challenges than a group of dead cats who passed judgment. ”That is not a destiny I stand for anymore.” Her voice hardened as a slight scowl twisted her facial features. ”I do not wish to sit idly by while my home edges closer to war. Though my spirit is here,” she continued, locking eyes with each cat there, ”my heart never left ThunderClan.”

Within her gaze a fiery passion burned, one that was different from the passion Cindersky had held while alive. It was darker around the edges and when her eyes narrowed they became like chips of ice. ”My life was ripped from me, and I was given no choice. Despite earlier convictions, it ended far too soon. I know ThunderClan can stand on their own four paws without me - my daughter has made that perfectly clear - but I refuse to sit here useless any longer while they fight for home. A home that I will continue to fight for too.”

Another flash of memories, this time of a young apprentice being thrown off the Thunderwillow. ”I will continue to fight for those who cannot speak for themselves, as I have done in the past. I will use this second chance to breathe life into ThunderClan, into making sure our apprentices are properly prepared for the battles that lie ahead. Hope led me in my first life - and it never got me very far.” Lifting her chin a little, Cindersky stared down the Covenant with a challenge in her eyes. ”I will make sure that the future generations of the Clan have a home they can be proud of.”

[ first post back writing cindersky. a bit rusty but she's come for judgement day ]

[Ian]

╔══════ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══════╗
Shimmerbird
╚══════ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══════╝

Another cat came to the neutral ground, ready to make their case. Only this time, it was different. A former High Rank, though Cindersky had stepped down from her position as leader just before dying. Still, she was the first of her kind to attempt such a feat.

Shimmerbird slipped into StarClan's side of the Starcave, pelt sparkling with stars as she listened to Cindersky's reasoning. She did not know if the Bengal would recognize her as the one who took Cinderpaw when Skystar had been RiverClan's leader. Honestly, she didn't know if the news had ever come out, having been so consumed by guilt that she fled her Clan shortly after. Now is not the time to reminisce about my life. I'm here to judge whether Cindersky should have another chance at hers.

Perhaps it was the elder she-cat's experience as a High Rank, but Shimmerbird found her reasoning more thought out than most cats who came to plead their case. Still, there was one big question she had for Cindersky.

"And if Bumblestar does not accept you? Turns you away from ThunderClan? What would you do then? Sparrowflight attempted to return, and was turned away without a second glance from Bumblestar." With the strong claw the ThunderClan leader used, and her opinion on former High Ranks that Shimmerbird had seen, she wouldn't be surprised if Cindersky met the same fate as Sparrowflight should she be given another chance.

@birdie

[elswhere]

DEWKIT.
⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙
➔ @birdie; @Lillith.

Like many before her, Cindersky came asking for a second chance, another life redeeming herself of her wrong doings. Most of the Council were hard-shelled, difficult to convince. Dewkit was no exception.

Silver starlight shimmered in the kit's pelt as she sat into the cave, long before anyone else had entered, seeing Shimmerbird had decided to attend this one's case as well. Just in time to listen to the former ThunderClan leader's words. Cindersky's posture and tone radiated nothing but confidence as she pleaded her case, and Dewkit found that her words held truth, and promise. Something she heard endless from each cat that had come to claim their worth of being reborn, or revived. Her eyes narrowed slightly, listening to the rest of the bengal's speech, before she let Shimmerbird speak her mind, nodding at the elder star-pelted molly's questions.

It checked off Dewkit's list, nearly every single one she would ask. "I have nothing to add to this, Cindersky. I only have the same questions as Shimmerbird, how would react if Bumblestar didn't let you back in? Where would you go? Give up and go be some useless lump somewhere? I hardly think you would, Cinder. You don't strike me as one who would give up something so easily." Maybe it was just her biases talking, but she liked this one.

[taillow]

Cindersky
The cats who stood before her... well, she recognized one of them. Shimmerbird. Her face was locked away with the violent memories of when Cindersky had led ThunderClan to reclaim Firefly Cove. As far as she remembered they had not faced one another on the battlefield that day. Chaos and bloodshed had reigned supreme over the cove despite her Clan's win. Part of her gaze hardened simply because of the history that separated their two Clans, but she tried her best to dispel it. Despite this something akin to anger flared briefly in her chest, like a match striking a flame. All of the crimes that RiverClan had committed over the coarse of many moons threaded like barbed wires in her mind - poisoned claws, attacking kits, stealing apprentices.

...It felt odd when the usual level-headedness that had always been there to subdue the anger never came. Instead part of Cindersky's heart latched onto it, submerged it within her soul. But she had always been skillful in putting up masks where needed, and her face gave nothing away of the thoughts storming in her mind. Besides, the questions posted were good.

"My heart has never belonged elsewhere," she answered firmly, dismissing the notion that she would try to join another Clan. ShadowClan would get her killed with the way she would immediately go for Dawnstar's throat; RiverClan was much too crow-hearted for her liking. WindClan was honorable and good in her eyes, despite their aid to RiverClan during the battle for the cove - it just wasn't home.

"It would hurt... but I would understand. Understanding however, does not equal complacency." Looking at Dewkit, she nodded to acknowledge her posed statement, whiskers twitching as a smile curved her maw. "I would not, indeed. I would still help ThunderClan even if turned away." Her gaze shifted between Dewkit and Shimmerbird. "Defending their outsider borders from threats, gathering herbs and leaving prey for their patrols. They would not know me as a threat, but an ally."

Sparrowflight's name almost struck her like a claw to the ear, and even poised Cindersky could not hide the shock behind her eyes. The last she had seen of her sister she had been getting dragged off of ThunderClan territory by two-legs. Had she survived that? And... she had gotten turned away? Confusion warped her memories of the event, wondering if there was more to it that she had missed. Sparrowflight and Bumblestar had been close, had they not? Or perhaps she was recalling the events wrong... her memories were hazy at best.

...Now instead of picturing her sister, Cindersky was able to envision standing before Bumblestar, asking for a place within the ranks of ThunderClan. The young she-cat who had made her proud, the one who had stood up for what she believed in countless times over, who had broken the cycle not only for herself but for her denmates. Misted eyes recalled the fleeting memories of the now leader seeking comfort in the den underneath the Thunderwillow when it had belonged to Cindersky, confiding in her and sleeping in the den with her that night. Before then, the silver bengal could not recall having ever seen the pale-furred she-cat cry.

Cindersky had never had any biological kits of her own, but in that moment she knew what it meant for a mother to love her kits; she had felt it (...and still did) with Bumblestar.

"ThunderClan belongs to Bumblestar now," she concluded with a nod. "If her decision is that I am not allowed back in..." Her throat felt tight and she turned her head to the side momentarily. That was a sentence she would rather leave unfinished until it was staring her in the face. "She is a strong cat, she always has been. It would be an honor to fight for the Clan she has resurrected from the depths of despair - whether that is as a warrior or as an outsider."

[ @Lillith @staurn ]

[perseus.]

☄. *. ⋆ Ghostblaze

Ghostblaze hadn't spoken but had been hiding in the shadows watching the whole interaction, letting out a deep hum as he slinked out of the shadows his deep amber eyes locking onto Cindersky. He wouldn't repeat the question but his ear twitched as moved towards the other cats, taking a seat next to them, his tail wrapped around his paws.

"What if your new clan, if you join one, finds out that you are helping them out? Helping out another clan shows that you aren't loyal." He made sure his stare was blank as he studied one of the former Thunderclan leaders.

@birdie @staurn @Lillith

[taillow]

Cindersky
A third cat stepped out now and Cindersky let her blue gaze flicker to his face. She didn't recognize this cat at all, nor what Clan he might've come from. His pelt held no stars though, and it was then that she knew she was in the presence of a Dark Forest dweller.

"I do not plan to join another Clan if ThunderClan and Bumblestar turn me away." There was a decisive tone in her voice. Call it pathetic, giving up, whatever one wanted - but Cindersky knew where her loyalties lay, and she knew what Clan her heart beat for. She knew what blood ran through her veins. She could never recite her warrior vows to another Clan. "If not a ThunderClan warrior, then I will aid them from outside of their borders."

Her goal, if she passed judgement here, was to return swiftly to ThunderClan. She did not wish to waste time or stall on her path any longer. Though the story of Bumblestar having turned Sparrowflight away had startled her, she would not let it deter her paws. This... she would see through.

[ @perseus. @Lillith @staurn - decided to do a quick short post so that both shimmer and dew have this question answered and can react to it in their next replies ]

[BEAR.]

When the whispers through the woods told of Cindersky appealing for revival, Jaystride ignored them. At first, he simply didn't believe it - the concept of Cindersky going against nature was beyond his comprehension.

But the whispers continued, and brought with it the murmur of her plan to return to ThunderClan. This is where he drew the line, for whatever path she wove for herself - he did not want her choice to impact his kid.

"Hold on a damn second!"

Jaystride's voice rang through the glade. His pace was unfaltering as he crossed through the grass, gaze set on the former leader who sought to reclaim her life. "Cinds." It's loaded, but only his voice wavers. The weight of it all is sinking in. "I'm not apart of this nonsense, let's just make that clear." He didn't want Cinds to go around thinking he was involved with the clown posse. "I'm not coming at you from any angle except as a friend." They were once, weren't they? Things got kinda weird after the whole tunnel incident, and only he knew all the details about that. As far as ThunderClan before the sinkhole knew.. he just vanished.

"Think about this before you keep pushing. This doesn't just impact you, this impacts the cats who grieved for you already. You really gonna just, walk back into ThunderClan and make those cats-- Bumblestar, experience it all over again?" Jaystride knew how hard it was to lose loved ones. To have that wound.. ripped back open, like nothing had happened and all their sorrow was for nothing-- he couldn't even imagine. ".. don't force her through that again."

And that was it. Ultimately, Jaystride knew he had no say in what happened. But maybe it'd get Cinds to reconsider, for the kid's sake.

[ mostly @birdie but @perseus. @Lillith @staurn r there, too ]

[taillow]

Cindersky
Much of the moons before her departure from StarClan were a blur, specifically the ones when she had been alive. Perhaps it was a parting gift, a special farewell from the spirits Cindersky had once believed so whole-heartedly in for her mind to start to grow fuzzy. Despite this, there were a few core moments and cats that remained etched into her mind - and if she had heard right, one of them was calling to her now.

Her heart knew who it was before her head spun, eyes locking onto dark furred tom that was making an appearance. Shock gripped her heart and for a moment her entire world felt unsteady. When had he died? Was it awhile ago, after she had stepped down? Was it during her time up here? Had he died alone? Been with his Clan? The questions that bombarded her provided no space for answers and no time to process anything, even as Jaystride continued speaking. Cinds. Stars, the memories that single nickname carried...

...A friend. Flashes of a life before one among the stars reared up in the corners of her mind - whispers of rising up, a heart-to-heart about what seemed like trivial matters now, the fight to reclaim what ThunderClan had lost. Steady paws and a shoulder that had been there to lean on in moments when striving to do what was best for her home almost buckled her legs. It was hard to see it though, bile rising up and wondering why he was coming forward now. What about the times when she had needed a friend? When she had been alone up here? No matter when his death had been, why hadn't he reached out? (...It didn't occur to her that it was her own self-imposed exile that had driven them down this path...)

His words held merit and Cindersky swallowed, her steeled expression faltering. Blue eyes shone with the moons of grief she'd experienced since her death. Watching Sparrowflight disappear in the night, seeing Sundust killed in cold-blood, having no one to turn to in a place where her hope had slowly dwindled down until it was but a weak spark. Self-pity was not new to her, but the version of herself that wasn't this broken would've hated it nonetheless.

Jaystride was right. The weight of what he was saying rocked her and she felt her throat go dry. Muscles froze in a fight-or-flight response, preparing to face an invisible enemy. She had been so dead-set on returning to ThunderClan, correcting the mistakes she had made and saying the words she had never gotten to... that it never occurred to her of the pain she would be bringing. Cats who had grieved her. Bumblestar...

"..." For awhile the former leader stared at Jaystride, in a rare moment of being at a total loss for words. The normally calm and composed former leader felt scared and vulnerable, and it showed in the fear that darkened her gaze and spiked her pelt. She couldn't do that. No matter how much she missed ThunderClan, no matter how much she missed cats like Sparrowflight and Softsky and Cloudyflight and Asterdance and... and Bumblestar. Her selfishness would only cause them grief, and Cindersky would sooner rip into herself with her own claws before hurting any of them. She had made a vow to protect those of her Clan; it was about damn time she started upholding it.

"...There is so much that I did not... get to say." Her voice shook as she spoke, just barely loud enough for the Covenant and Jaystride to hear. Despite this her eyes did not leave her former Clanmate (...friend?). "...I made... so many mistakes. I never should have stepped down. I should have been there more. I should have fought more. I should have-" It... really did not matter though, did it? The truth was that death was cruel and violent and cared not for 'could'ves' and 'should'ves' and wants. It came like a thief in the night with no regard to what it stole.

Finally her gaze dropped from Jaystride to the ground, staring at it blankly. "...None of that matters more than Bumblestar." That kid... she had been through so much. A lifetime and more of grief, of sorrow. Cindersky would not be the cat who added to that. She refused to be.

...From here it was unclear where her path would go, but it would not involve going back to ThunderClan. After a long stretch of silence, the former ThunderClan leader lifted her head once more to look at Shimmerbird, Dewkit, and Ghostblaze. "...We are done here." Exhausted. Whatever spark she had coming into this was gone, deflated now. Looking to Jaystride, there was nothing but regret and sorrow. "...I... am sorry."

With that, Cindersky turned and padded away from the Covenant, away from Jaystride, and back into the stars once more.

[ @Lillith @perseus. @staurn @BEAR. - Sorry for skipping over the Covenant members! I knew after reading Jaystride though that there was nothing that would convince Cinder to follow through with the resurrection anymore ]

[BEAR.]

"No, it does not." Mistakes happened, and in many cases could never truly be rectified. Coming back would not solve any of them - it would only reap more sorrow and pain, and further burn bridges already damaged. If she wanted to say something, perhaps a dream would be a less corroded avenue - less.. jarring, than walking amongst the living.

Jaystride was sure her heart had been in the right place, but following a path tainted by darkness would serve no one any good. It was.. below her, in his eyes, to stoop to such levels. Cats like Aspenstrike, he understood because of how shortsighted and selfish they were. He considered Cinds neither.

He dipped his head as she departed, before doing the same. Maybe they could catch up later, but for right now he'd give her some space to think and collect herself. When she was ready, he'd be around.

In the meantime, he really could use some ragweed. Maybe he'd give the kid a delivery, she could probably use a hit too.

[ @birdie for slight interaction w cinds ]