Halfpaw was sitting in his chaotic nest, with old moss and scattered feathers everywhere, when a familiar voice pierced through the silence. He raised his head, waited a few moments and then turned to the older cat with a miserable expression. Sunnystreak was a kind warrior, but never had he come to him to comfort him from his own despair. Actually, no one had. Not even his mentor Skylark.
"...I don't.. know what to do." He murmured in a low voice, gazing very intently at his paws while speaking. Could he really let his demons out? Sunnystreak maybe had even participated in those rumors, he thought while his heartbeat accelerated, but right now he couldn't really believe it. Sunnystreak's voice was warm and careful, after all.
"I constantly think about my parents and... I'm sure they would've been disappointed in seeing me like this." But he bet Sunnystreak wouldn't get what it really meant.
Halfpaw wasn't only the son of two loyal warriors that had deliberately chose to abandon Thunderclan. He was also maybe the oldest apprentice ever, and he believed the weakest as well.
"I'm... A delusion."
Sunnystreak
Sunnystreak listened to Halfpaw quietly. He had never really paid too much mind to many of clanmates, much less the apprentices. But he had to admit...he could understand how Halfpaw was feeling right now. After a few heartbeats of silence, he gently touched his tailtip to the smaller cat's shoulder. "You're not a delusion, Halfpaw." He meowed, making sure to keep his voice steady but not loud or pushy. "I may not know exactly what you're going through, but I know what it's like to feel like you have to constantly prove yourself to everyone." His ears twitched involuntarily as he spoke.
He wished he didn't feel this way about his sister. He knew that Strawberryfur was just doing her best as the "older" littermate. But he couldn't help it, it made him feel inferior to have his sister always hovering over him. Like she didn't think he could do anything right himself. What kind of warrior did that make him? He laid his tail gently across Halfpaw's shoulders in a gesture of support. "I can't tell you not to feel the way you do, that would be dishonest." Can't very well tell the young tom to do something not even Sunnystreak himself has managed to do now can he? "And right now, I can't promise that things will get better."
Great StarClan I suck at this... He swallowed, not feeling like he was doing a very good job at this. Cheering cats up was more Strawberryfur's speed, he was the blunt, honest one. He couldn't bring himself to lie to Halfpaw just for the sake of making him feel better. Taking a breath, he decided to continue on anyway. Already started, can't stop now. "But, that said, I can tell you that if you put the work in, things will change." He leaned forward to try and catch the apprentice's gaze. "If cats like you and me keep working hard, and show our clanmates who we are and what's in our hearts, at the very least we will know that we've done our best. That's all any good warrior can do. And maybe, they'll start to see it too." His tilted his ears towards the clearing as he said the last sentence, indicating he was referring to their clanmates.
"I can also tell you that if you continue to believe that you're a disappointment, that's all you're ever be." He couldn't believe he said something so...mushy with a straight face. But even a cat like Sunnystreak knew the power of one's own belief. He wasn't going to go into the whole believe in yourself nonsense that Strawberryfur loved so much, he knew there was truth to those words. He hoped that Halfpaw could see he was speaking from the heart here, and not how uncomfortable it was to do so.
He cleared his throat and wrapped his tail around his paws. "Um...so yeah... What you do next is whatever the next step is that you can do." He meowed, straightening his back as he looked upon Halfpaw. "One pawstep at a time. All you can do is keep moving forward, and hope that you're making the right choices for yourself." He meowed.
Nevermind your parents," he waved his tail in the air briefly as he said this before wrapping it around his paws again, "they made their choice. And now it's your turn. Now you have to keep making your choices." He felt like he was talking partly to himself as he spoke to Halfpaw, and he hoped what he was saying made some sort of...sense to the apprentice. Even though their journey and their lives were different, Sunnystreak related to this struggle.
There was more he felt like he wanted to say about it, but he felt like he had talked enough. He cleared his throat again and licked his chest, feeling flustered. He was still a young warrior himself, what right did he have to offer guidance to Halfpaw? Oh well...he can take it or leave it I guess. But he kinda hoped Halfpaw would take his words seriously and that he had helped the young cat. Was this what it was like to have an apprentice of your own?
It was sunny today, which would have been nice and fun and stuff and it should have meant Hollowkit could sun himself in the clearing for a while, but noooooo, of course he wasn't allowed even that small luxury. Not far off from him, that warrior Risingwhatever was doing something, and he kept! Blocking! The! Sun! And, perhaps worse than that, one of his stupid denmates was nearby as well, and she was breathing and it was annoying and Hollowkit wanted nothing more than to wack her on the face and get her to shut up.
He rolled a few inches over, to a spot where the sun was filtering through the leaves on the canopy above in a wonderful, warm dapple. But then the stupid warrior blocked the sun. AGAIN.
"Alright, that's it!" He bellowed, getting to his paws with a furious scowl and storming over to Risingstorm, teeth bared in what was supposed to be an intimidating manner, but would likely only look silly on a kit like him. "You!! Quit your movin' around! You keep blocking my sun and I'm trying to take a nap! And you!" He rounded on Asterkit, yellow-green eyes narrowed ferociously because, hey, he was already yelling at the warrior, why not let his denmate have it too while he was at it?
"Could your breathing be any louder?" He accuses, "or do you need the whole clan knowin' that you're still alive? Seriously, are you breathing for two cats or just yourself?" He scowls. Hm, yelling actually made him feel better. Funny how that works.
It was sunny today, which would have been nice and fun and stuff and it should have meant Hollowkit could sun himself in the clearing for a while, but noooooo, of course he wasn't allowed even that small luxury. Not far off from him, that warrior Risingwhatever was doing something, and he kept! Blocking! The! Sun! And, perhaps worse than that, one of his stupid denmates was nearby as well, and she was breathing and it was annoying and Hollowkit wanted nothing more than to wack her on the face and get her to shut up.
He rolled a few inches over, to a spot where the sun was filtering through the leaves on the canopy above in a wonderful, warm dapple. But then the stupid warrior blocked the sun. AGAIN.
"Alright, that's it!" He bellowed, getting to his paws with a furious scowl and storming over to Risingstorm, teeth bared in what was supposed to be an intimidating manner, but would likely only look silly on a kit like him. "You!! Quit your movin' around! You keep blocking my sun and I'm trying to take a nap! And you!" He rounded on Asterkit, yellow-green eyes narrowed ferociously because, hey, he was already yelling at the warrior, why not let his denmate have it too while he was at it?
"Could your breathing be any louder?" He accuses, "or do you need the whole clan knowin' that you're still alive? Seriously, are you breathing for two cats or just yourself?" He scowls. Hm, yelling actually made him feel better. Funny how that works.
Cliffjumper was walking around the clearing a squirrel in his maw when he heard a small but fierce voice yell at him he looked down to see a kit snarling at him about blocking the sun cliff didn't realize he was blocking the sun to this kit with one heck of a personality "my bad kid" he meowed moving away allowing the sun to shine on the brown kit "better?" the warrior asked his face was neutral when he talked
AMAB but no pronoun preference | 10 moons | a black cat with white markings and icy blue eyes
Badgerpaw surveyed the clearing from where he was sitting, his lean body half-hidden by the long fronds of the ferns next to him. His ears flicked here and there in reaction to the chatter of his clanmates as he enjoyed the feeling on his pelt of the few rays of sun that got through the clouds and leaves, waiting for someone to disturb his peace, whether it be for the actual need for help, or merely for their own entertainment.
[OPEN to interact]
Boreeeeeeeeeeeeed. Elkpaw was boreeeeeeeeeeeeedddddddddddddddddddddddddddd.
He had spent SO LONG in the medicine den. And his STUPID BROKEN ANKLE still hurt. And it was HOT and he barely saw ANYBODY and Springlight WASN'T HERE ANYMORE! So basically everything sucked and wasn't fair and he hated it.
Until there was a target. Target also looked bored. Maybe they would be bored together.
Elkpaw pushed himself up from where he'd been sitting by the entrance to the medicine den and waddled over. Truthfully, his ankle didn't hurt that badly. It was a little sore and he still had a slight limp, but it could be a lot worse than it was. He put on a grin and flopped down next to his brand-new best friend. "Hi!! Whatcha dooooin'?"
She poked her head out of the nursery, giggling with excitement. She was going to get to go outside! Today was already the bestest ever! She crouched bunching up her paws underneath her and sprang forward into the clearing. She let out a little purr, as the sun hit her back. Of course the bestest day ever would have plenty of sun! Even if it was a little nippy. Who was Slugkit to judge? She had nipped plenty of cats!
She bounced out to make to most of her day. Today was extremely huge. Today she was exploring EVER INCH of the camp! No stone unturned! She wouldn't rest until she found every bug, rock, and flower her home had to offer! She was all giggles and squeaks as she got started on her super duper hard and brave project.
A bird? That was cool. She couldn't wait until she was old enough to catch a bird. She'd be just like Sunkridge. That was what she was hoping for at least. Would she be that good? Of course! The mention of Riverclan made her shiver a bit. That clan scared her. Thank starclan they were away for a bit.
"I just woke up, but other than that my days been great. ", she meowed. Mumblekit felt the day was even better now that she got to spend time with her older sibling.
Boredly, Alpinedawn waited patiently, waiting for something to do or some cat to talk to. Green eyes watching cats come in and out. Suddenly, Kestrelpaw arrived. Maybe she could strike up some conversation with them, after all, when Alpinedawn was that age, she did not the mental freedom apprentices nowadays received.
Whitepaw saw a cat look in his direction. He thought he saw his name called. Good thing he was looking in that direction! "Dihd yuh cawl mhy nahm?" Whitepaw said as he padded up, making sure to keep his eyes on the mouth of the other cat.
It took Wolfhive a solid second to determine what Whitepaw was saying. He didn't hear cats talk like this unless they had a mouthful of prey - it was unexpected and he twitched his ears. "Yes, we're going training. Have you had any yet?"