Foul Moods Under a Full Moon

[BEAR.]

Originally Posted by Dipper

This time, he didn't struggle for more than a few seconds in Lionstorm's grasp because he was wary of being dropped, but did lightly pitter his back paws against the golden tuft on his chest to at least show he was dissenting. "Thanks, that's... I appreciate it." Silence fell over him for a couple moments before he spoke again, this time his meow warbling slightly, "I just wanted to watch the gathering, it's... my first one. I thought it wouldn't be an issue, and I hate the sick camp. You didn't even visit me!" The last bit had his voice cracking over the words, the seep of loneliness and despair finally bubbling over.

@BILL.

Frustration struck him, and Lionstorm let out an angry huff at Fawnpaw. It wasn't his fault the apprentice had gotten sick, and he wasn't obligated to visit him. Sure, he had said previously he'd visit, but things changed. Lionstorm had other duties to attend to. Fawnpaw wasn't a priority, even if he did like the stupid baby.

And now he was crying. Lionstorm had already been feeling bad about accidentally stepping on him, what more did he want? To guilt him into visiting more? Lionstorm couldn't stop everything he was doing just for this one apprentice.

Grumbling, he had to set Fawnpaw down on the ground. He tried to pick the nicest spot he could-- avoiding the deeper patches of snow. "Are you done?" he muttered, irritably blowing a wispy cloud into the air. "You do realize as a warrior, I can't always visit you at the Seastones. I have other duties to attend to. Things come up. You're not the center of my world." Only Lionstorm was.

@Dipper

[Fawn]

Once he was safely on solid ground again and no longer being carried in Lionstorm's jaws, he wavered a bit and caught his footing moments before collapsing again. The illness had weakened him, thinned his body and damaged his strength so it was faultier than usual. But he was determined to hold strong in front of the warrior.

However, he was relieved Lionstorm hadn't brought him into the quarantine zone just yet, not that he understood why-- maybe he'd gotten tired? Wanted him to walk on his own? Either way, he considered it a kind twist of fate that he wasn't sentenced to that infernal place of pain and suffering and lonely boredom.

Annoyed by his dismissive tone, his ears folded back and Fawnpaw glanced away from him to glare at the gathering instead, wishing he could've stayed there. Maybe he should've kept up the Mysterysolver act.

"Yeah, okay," he conceded and kicked a patch of snow, watching the particles fly into the wind and dust across the small clearing. "I get it, that position is secured by you and your sense of grandiose." Although bitter, he actually did understand the unappealing journey to the sick camp - it was a long walk for very little reward, and the camp itself was gross, depressing. "Look, you don't have to visit me. I guess there was room for doubt in 'I'll see you tomorrow' - I mean, what could that possibly mean?" he asked sarcastically.

@BILL.

[BEAR.]

Lionstorm had tried to be nice, he tried to be understanding and friendly. But his patience for this stupid kit was wearing thin. He was a warrior, and Fawnpaw needed to get through his thick skull that Lionstorm couldn't drop everything for him.

Lip curling back in anger, he spat, "At this rate, I don't want to visit you. I was busy before because, news flash Fawnpaw, our Clan is still in need of warriors to patrol and hunt for it. If you can't comprehend that, then you're not even ready to be an apprentice. Fallenstar should reconsider his choice of making you one."

But Lionstorm wasn't done, tail lashing as he turned away from Fawnpaw. "I wish I didn't help take you to that sick camp," he commented bitterly. "You could've gone by yourself and saved me the trouble of taking you. It's pretty clear you're not appreciative of what I've done for you-- everything I've done for you. If you were, you wouldn't be so selfish about me not being able to visit for a few days."

@Dipper

[Fawn]

"You're threatening to NOT visit me?" Fawnpaw asked and feigned a look of horror, a paw coming to dramatically rest on his forehead as he let out a wail. "Oh no, I can't believe it. You're not going to visit me?! My life is going to change so much, except--" the act faded, "except it honestly won't because you didn't even bother to stick by your original promise." And had forced him to battle the suffocating loneliness on his own while he couldn't even sleep, overrested and coughing often.

More seriously, he sighed and dropped the attitude to say, "I get it, that you have other things to do instead of visit me, and I do know that the Clan should come first. I just wish you would've said that instead of giving me that hope, y'know? Look, it doesn't matter." He didn't want Lionstorm to visit him either, not if all they were going to do was revert to their usual runaround of hurling insults and fighting, as it was too draining to keep up with under the standard stress of being ill.

When Lionstorm turned away from him, he didn't flinch nor skitter after him, aware it'd been coming for a few minutes now. This wasn't getting them anywhere. "Oh, stop it, Lionstorm. You don't have to be an entitled jerk about this, let's just forget about it so you can go back to doing whatever you wanted to do, and I can..." he trailed off there, unsure. "Busy myself with being sick, I guess." That's all his life amounted to at this point, it was distressing. "And I am appreciative, I've... told you that who knows how many times," he insisted, "so don't act like I haven't just because you want something to justify this. I already told you that I understand and that I don't expect you to visit, okay? What do you want from me?"

@BILL.

[BEAR.]

"I'm the entitled jerk?" Lionstorm whipped around in a flash, teeth bared and ears flattened. His claws were unsheathed, digging into the soft snow. "Here YOU are, coming to the Gathering despite being grievously ill, aware you could affect everyone else in the Clans, because you couldn't handle learning how to socialize with other sick cats while you recovered. You gave me a poor attempt of a fake name because you didn't want to go back, tried to escape-- which, by the way, thanks for trying to run into the crowd of healthy cats! I'm sure they would've appreciated being coughed on." Lionstorm sure as hell didn't.

"And now, here you are! Trying to make me feel sorry for you because things came up and I couldn't visit you. I can't feel bad for you right now, Fawnpaw, because you're acting like a spoiled little kitten who's throwing a fit because things didn't go the way you wanted. I would've visited you, I'd like to, but this behavior is making me think otherwise." He took a step towards him, a growl in his throat.

"I wouldn't even have cared about the Gathering so much, but you're sick. You can hardly walk, you keep collapsing in a sad heap. And you're insistent on doing things that won't help you get any better. Things would've gone perfectly fine if you hadn't decided to throw me shade for not being able to visit you. This entire trip would just be you whining and crying about that."

He was trying to get his fur to lie back, to relax, but it felt impossible. "I wanted to debrief you on the Gatherings, but now I'm not sure you deserve my rendition of what's happened during the ones I attended."
@Dipper

[Fawn]

The motion actually intimidated Fawnpaw, his youth and inexperience shining in how his pupils shrank with momentary fear, staggering backwards to place more distance between them. Although he didn't think Lionstorm would attack, it was an involuntary reaction and had his heart thumping wildly, adrenaline coursing through his veins until it settled again. The majority of the physiological response had melted away, but the apprentice still stood, rigid. There were multiple items to refute on the long list of Lionstorm's perception of his supposed mistakes, offenses, but he held his tongue - not by choice, but because he was too stunned to speak until he was finished talking.

And even then, he didn't know what to say because the step toward him forced Fawnpaw to shrink down and waver, willing his body to stay together enough to hold strong under his scrutiny. If only illness could be so merciful. He was coughing again, hacking into the snow until it ebbed into ragged breaths.

There was a lot to think about and analyze in Lionstorm's speech, the verbalization of why he was terrible, a spoiled brat -- and he wasn't sure he'd have agreed with it until the argument broke out and he listed why. In reality, those were flimsy, but he nevertheless felt the full impact and hung his head, bobtail drooped. "No," he murmured, voice hoarse, "I'm-- it's fine. I don't care anymore, I just want to go back to the temporary camp." Truthfully, he wanted to be away from Lionstorm and alone with his thoughts, the first time since being ill that it'd crossed his mind as a desire rather than something to dread.

@BILL.

[BEAR.]

Lionstorm wasn't going to take "no" for an answer, and he stalked over to where Fawnpaw was crouched. "No, you said you didn't want to go back. So we're not going back." He wasn't going to keep him here forever, but since Fawnpaw had been so restless and insistent, he figured he could distract him for some time with Gathering stories.

Stories mostly about Lionstorm and how everyone loved him, and how he was fantastic and amazing and someone Fawnpaw should appreciate.

"I know you missed out on quite a few Gatherings, and since we have all day to talk, let me give you a recap. Much like you, I wasn't allowed to attend my first Gathering-- but that's not important, that was their loss, not mine. My second Gathering was a mess, a slew of chaos and hatred where Fallenstar almost knocked Blazingstar off the rocks just for looking at him. I don't know if you know this, but they hate each other a lot! Fallenstar's fed up with his stupid ginger face."

Lionstorm suddenly broke into a grin, looking down at Fawnpaw. "Do you want to re-enact it? You're looking a lot like Fallenstar was." Moody, upset. Probably angry, though Lionstorm was finding it difficult to feel bad about his outburst given Fawnpaw's attitude.

@Dipper

[Fawn]

Although Fawnpaw was visibly distressed by his presence and wanted to close the remaining distance to the sick camp on his own if Lionstorm was serious about trying to keep him here, he stayed rooted because the warrior's longer strides could easily rival his own and an escape would be impossible. If he had his mind set on this, Lionstorm was going to ensure he had an audience for it.

"I'd like to go back," he repeated, "please.. I just-- I don't feel good." The words were stilted with emotion, watery and shaky as he tried to hold back tears that threatened to fall. They were partially from the force of Lionstorm's list of complaints about him, and partially because he believed them, convinced that he was the problem. A very entitled, bratty problem according to the golden-furred tom, and he didn't think he could hold himself together much longer, despite his pride's demands to keep the surge of sadness at bay in front of him. He'd just get called a kit again, being childish and upset over this.

As Lionstorm went on to detail the gatherings, Fawnpaw could hardly listen since he was intently focused on a single dead blade of grass poking out of the snowdrift. It wasn't that it was interesting, but it was somewhere to look that didn't make him burst into tears.

Fawnpaw shook his head, the twinge of annoyance drowned out by feelings of inadequacy. "Oh, uh... no, no thanks. I don't think you really need my help." It was supposed to imply Lionstorm was doing a great job of conveying the gatherings on his own, but he wasn't sure how to voice it, sinking to his belly in a fit of exhaustion and coughing.

@BILL.

[BEAR.]

Lionstorm's ears flattened back, the irritation he had previously felt almost forgotten. It was frustrating, trying to work with a kitten who wouldn't listen to him, who felt the need to fight him at almost every turn.

And now-- he was actually upset again. It wasn't him throwing a fit because he wasn't getting his way, it was real, and the notion was unsettling to him. The attempt of humor died, the enthusiasm he had to re-enacting what he had witnessed gone.

Shoulders slumping down, Lionstorm spared a glance at the apprentice. Definitely upset. Lionstorm was actually feeling bad about this, in a similar manner as to how he felt when he stepped on him only moments ago. He almost wanted to apologize, but would Fawnpaw care..? He didn't seem willing to listen to a word that came out of Lionstorm's mouth.

So he obliged, beginning to approach Fawnpaw to pick him up by the scruff. "Fine, I'll take you back." He sounded as hollow as he felt. Fawnpaw could fight him if he wanted, Lionstorm didn't care. Not when it felt like he was guilty.

@Dipper

[Fawn]

Fawnpaw's nose was twitching, his lips quivering, the world going blurry as tears threatened to spill over despite willing them not to. It was a tough battle, trying to stay strong in front of Lionstorm and show he wasn't a big baby, avoid cluing him in to how upset he'd become over this interaction. Everything had gone wrong.

The rant about him had left the apprentice feeling scared and small, and he wished to be left alone-- 'alone' was a frightening, isolating thought, but anywhere without Lionstorm would do. He couldn't look at him without feeling like he was going to vomit. Self-esteem and confidence shaken, Fawnpaw just wanted to sob until he couldn't anymore, feeling awful about himself and everything he'd done if he was as bad as Lionstorm claimed.

As Lionstorm picked him up by the scruff, Fawnpaw went limp and didn't fight it, simply erupted into sorrowful sniffles as wetness trailed over his cheeks. He couldn't bring himself to say anything to Lionstorm, no scathing words or protests or anything. Just silence above the sound of his soft cries that he tried to stifle.

The passage of time was lost on him as Lionstorm carried him, too wrapped up in his own cognitions. It wasn't long before they reached the quarantine zone again, yet he'd never been happier to see it and what it promised: time to recollect himself, to think, and to recover without the terrible things Lionstorm had said constantly biting at him. Once he was placed onto the ground, Fawnpaw's posture screamed hurt as he trudged away, head lowered and watery vision trained to the snow.

@BILL.