CONTENT WARNING: MENTION OF SUICIDALITY; INTENTIONAL POISONING; SEIZURE; SICKNESS&THROWING UP
silence, apart from sopping wet footsteps and the roar of frosty leafbare wind, wrapped around two dark silluettes at the crack of dawn. there was an air of secrecy despite how very accepted a mere trip like this was, hunting, nothing else. well, that was the original plan anyway.
rookfire glanced sideways, silver gaze fixed on the newly named medicine cat for a brief moment before snapping back to the thick forest that lay ahead. he wasnt angry. even if emotions had returned and threatened to drown him as he lay shivering under a thin layer of snow, hidden only by branches and needle like leaves ahead. it wasnt really anything he could see as reality just yet, let alone grasp it, but even so, he wasnt mad at anyone but mossfreckle and himself. stars what a goddamn fool he had been. a huff escaped him, warm breath curling around his white marked maw before bleeding into the whisps of fog around them. goddamn. fool. sleepysunrise was capable, he was sure she would do just fine. even if it should be him. he just wasnt one of dawnstars trusted grandchildren, not even worth enough to be recognised as a proper medicine cat even though he was. goddamn it he was.
rookfire let cool air fill his mouth, waiting for the telltale bitterness to snake its way into his system, an early warning for what he knew was to come in a couple of paces. with nerves vibrating through his body, the former medicine cat once again recalled why and what he was doing here. goddamn suicidal if youd ask pretty much anyone, but genuinely what had he to lose? now that was a lie, rookfire wasnt here to die, he was here to advance the art of killing others of course.
in of itself, the plant didnt smell overly bad, sort of sweet. nestled close to a small bush of deathberries their sweetness didnt really carry in the air that well, mostly overwhelmed by the other plants bitter scent. surprisingly, the berry was sweet as well. he wasnt sure what he had expected. but certainly not that he would pick off the berry, chew it briefly and sit down as if nothing had happened. "'dont feel anythin' yet, lets wait" he informed sleepysunrise briefly.
[ rolled 2 - severe failure ]
it was a while of absolutely nothing, almost giving into the thought that he had eaten the wrong berry entirely but suddenly this wasnt so fun anymore. instead of the curiosity and adrenaline that had been building since they had made the choice to risk it, rookfires body was now being rapidly flooded with heat and fear. it wasnt a rapid onset, even if it did feel like one thing followed the other in quick succession. the heat was bearable, he had expected something to happen, especially after waiting for a while, but once the tingling set in, crawling up his limbs and scruff he knew this was going to be worse than he had childishly hoped. vision blurring and slipping, rookfire could hardly decipher if this was another fit of panic and fear like he had felt before, in no way caused by the deadly nightshade, yet he stood rapidly, sending his vision spinning. at this point, it felt like he was losing sensation in his legs, like icy teeth sinking into him ten folds as his body heated up more and more. "sleepy-" he forced out through teeth pressed together tightly to keep the rising nausea at bay. if she hadnt taken notice of the nightshade doing its work before, at least now she would be aware. head lowered slightly, rookfire attempted to re-center himself as thoughts slipped through his paws, breaths coming shallow and quick. in fear? or just another part of the deadly nightshade taking effect?
no matter how hard he fought any and all reactions overcoming him, rookfire found himself cowered over a puddle of vomit, shaking as he dry heaved and barely stumbled away on shaky limbs. time wasnt really something he could grasp at this point, only able to rely on the twitching up his limbs that had forced the dark furred feline onto the ground and repeated, futile attempts at trying to calm himself down. stars im dying repeated over and over again, spoken hollow into the empty enclosure his mind provided.
Sleepysunrise
[ 14 moons | She / Her | Shc Medicine Cat | Shadow Fiend ]
She had agreed to this for the sake of science; if it went wrong, she was ridding the clan of a dangers. If it went well, she had more to learn about poisons and their effect. It was a foolish act in all, and her skin lay on the line in the sense that her grandmother likely wouldn’t approve. She would much prefer her skin lay on the other line, however, the one eating the poisons and feeling their effects first paw; how lucky he was, able to do as much. But she was certain her grandmother would be even more upset if she risked her life to eat the poisonous plants… Someday, soon enough, her own time would come. Until then, Sleepysunrise feigned ignorance. A silent understanding passing between herself and the former medic. Before he even said anything, she had already parted from his side marking the territory borders and seeking prey in the winter landscape. And it wasn’t until many minutes later that she returned, his simple words all the confirmation she needed that they had more time.
She brushed past him idly, as though the comment hadn’t been directed at her, mind wired elsewhere. She looked around, inspecting plants she would have loved to take with, but couldn’t due to his herb-banning presence. Perhaps she should just have eaten the poison herself, it would have been easier in that regard; she wouldn’t have to rely on his reports either. But his tone cut, and Sleepysunrise was alerted that what he ate was taking effect. Eyes drifted to his body, convulsing and vomiting at his paws. Sleepysunrise regarded in silent awe from a distance; he seemed almost short of breath. The nausea was caused by the poison, most likely. She wondered if a part of his vomit was parts of the plant her swallowed. She was almost tempted to look, but her disdain for another’s food kept her away. After some time, she approached, regarding the twitching of his limbs and his pitiful state. He would be so easy to kill. Blame it on the poison, or a self-inflicted wound; no, no. No one with brains would fall for that, and she shook the thought off. She still needed him.
“How do you feel?”
She asked, and paw carefully – almost hesitantly – reaching out to touch his back as if to see what would happen, eyes glued to his muscles contorting from the effects. Despite the nervous beat in her chest, it was fascinating.
Sleepysunrise
[ 14 moons | She / Her | Shc Medicine Cat | Shadow Fiend ]
She had agreed to this for the sake of science; if it went wrong, she was ridding the clan of a dangers. If it went well, she had more to learn about poisons and their effect. It was a foolish act in all, and her skin lay on the line in the sense that her grandmother likely wouldn’t approve. She would much prefer her skin lay on the other line, however, the one eating the poisons and feeling their effects first paw; how lucky he was, able to do as much. But she was certain her grandmother would be even more upset if she risked her life to eat the poisonous plants… Someday, soon enough, her own time would come. Until then, Sleepysunrise feigned ignorance. A silent understanding passing between herself and the former medic. Before he even said anything, she had already parted from his side marking the territory borders and seeking prey in the winter landscape. And it wasn’t until many minutes later that she returned, his simple words all the confirmation she needed that they had more time.
She brushed past him idly, as though the comment hadn’t been directed at her, mind wired elsewhere. She looked around, inspecting plants she would have loved to take with, but couldn’t due to his herb-banning presence. Perhaps she should just have eaten the poison herself, it would have been easier in that regard; she wouldn’t have to rely on his reports either. But his tone cut, and Sleepysunrise was alerted that what he ate was taking effect. Eyes drifted to his body, convulsing and vomiting at his paws. Sleepysunrise regarded in silent awe from a distance; he seemed almost short of breath. The nausea was caused by the poison, most likely. She wondered if a part of his vomit was parts of the plant her swallowed. She was almost tempted to look, but her disdain for another’s food kept her away. After some time, she approached, regarding the twitching of his limbs and his pitiful state. He would be so easy to kill. Blame it on the poison, or a self-inflicted wound; no, no. No one with brains would fall for that, and she shook the thought off. She still needed him.
“How do you feel?”
She asked, and paw carefully – almost hesitantly – reaching out to touch his back as if to see what would happen, eyes glued to his muscles contorting from the effects. Despite the nervous beat in her chest, it was fascinating.
rookfire had slipped in and out of conciousness for longer than he wouldve liked and oddly enough, sleepysunrises presence didnt offer him and comfort. quite the opposite, feeling cold blue eyes staring down at him made the drowning rushing of blood in his ears louder, old scars pulsating with every beat of his heart. she could end him before his next exhale, defenceless. never again with her. never with anyone. alone his next time would be alone. and every time following. curse the stars he'd rather die alone than this.
ripcage rising and falling rapidly, the dark tom rasped shallow gasps of air. desperately trying to keep his cool and regain control over his body. horrible his mind provided, limbs his seizing and unsure if he would even be able to speak. still he forced out "bearable" through bared teeth, voice rough and a good bit lower than usual. rookfire internally flinched at the touch, while the seizing was passing rapidly, his limbs were heavy as if filled with thick mud. discomfort shooting through him, the former medic bared his teeth at her, a warning hiss passing sharply through the air.
before long, pushed by adrenaline, rookfire pushed himself onto unstable paws, head aching with every bit movement, he brough some distance between himself and the medicine cat before letting his head hang and the scratch of his throat force a violent coughing fit out of him. the mental fog slowing his thoughts to a snails pace was probably the worst part, not the ache burning in his chest and throat, not the weakness vibrating through his limbs or the headache pulsing in his skull.
alone this time, rookfire made his way into the territory. cool grey eyes darted around in search of any sign of warriors still out, it was late and he didnt really fancy getting caught in this situation. he was alone, the moon high in the sky and barely illuminating the path in front, no doubt due to the thick canopy of evergreen trees protecting shadowclans residents from the less than comfortable aspects of nature. upon arriving at the small nightshade bush..thing..rookfire selected one of the mildly wrinkly black berries that had survived the frost by some miracle, plucking it off the branch with his teeth before biting down in order to crush the hard seed hidden within dark flesh.
[ d10 roll - 4 (mild failure) ]
similar effects as last time pursuit but he was able to ride them out simply laying down and letter the shaking and weakness pass over him. by the time he was able to sit up, thick foamy drool was dripping from his maw and the warrior remained seated, with his head bowed until some of the severe exhaustion lessened.
[ this takes place a couple of days after his 2nd dose belladonna ]
was it stupid to visit his little secret place twice within the span of seven sunrises? most likely yeah definitely. but rookfire was aching to get started on more. if this was the thing to take his life he'd be almost okay with it, mind still too foggy to fully grasp the situation he once more got himself into. to access death berries rookfire would have to cross into the outskirts.. a few moments later, hastily covered in mud, with his fur still dripping and shivers shaking his steps, the former medicine cat hurried over shadowclans border, yanked a berry off the bush and back.
[ d10 roll - 3 (severe failure) ]
it wasnt as bad as than the first time he had had a little ah snack of deadly nightshade but the following cramps made him topple over, gasping for breath as his stomach spasmed. no shaking, control over his limbs, rookfire could vaguely remember being told deathberries were used to put clanmates close to death down and he could see why. besides nausea and the feeling like his stomach was being torn apart from the inside out, it wasnt as bad. excessive drooling turned into a pile of his lunch and stomach acid burning at the back of his throat. he'd taken the precaution of not eating after sunhigh and it had been a good choice. still, he was able to sleep it out, bury everything that could cause suspicion and make his way back to camp before it was early enough to be spotted by anyone.
__________________
✮" in all timelines, in all possibilities,.. only you. "✮
by now, rookfire moved through the motions as if automated. a quick glance over his shoulder as he made his way through the clearing, stuck to the shadows like mud drying in the grass. like he'd been born the personification of shadowclan, dark pelt bleeding into the dim forest. as soon as he was a few lengths away from camp, the warrior stopped, considering his options. dig for mud to eliminate scent or simply take the same path hunting once the sun crawled over the horizon. the quiet shiver pushed out of him by a particularly cold gust of wind made that decision easy. it was far less annoying to go for a hunt in the same direction, especially with the other option being a muddy pelt followed by either hours of grooming or the freezing stream cutting through their territory.
the belladonna bush thing was easily located, and while he was sort of beginning to run out of berries, it wouldnt be a issue this time. rook selected one, crushed it between his molars and sat, tail securely wrapped around his body to preserve some warmth.
the waiting never got any less annoying but it didnt take all that long for the reactions to kick in.
stars was this ever going to get any easier. eh it was a bit better now. his head hit the ground, muscles down his back relaxing rapidly as the exhaustion claimed him. rookfire slipped in and out of sleep for a while longer, long enough for the sun to begin peaking over the horizon, throwing long shadows and specks of light across the cold forest ground. he pushed himself onto unsteady paws, wiped any remaining sweat and drool off his fur before staggering towards camp. the warmth of the sun way nice on his shivering body, not enough but not too different to his current sleeping arrangement anyway. this was going to be a long day.
__________________
✮" in all timelines, in all possibilities,.. only you. "✮
his foolish decrees [p]
