You’re a black crow in the shadows. [p]

[Rose]

She/Her | Purrks Overlook

[ Dreamwalker Purrk Active ]

She couldn’t stall any longer. Dawnstar's foreboding words rang in her mind as she paced the seemingly serene landscape of her dream realm. The fissures and cracks that had begun to split the world below her paws and open into a yawning chasm had started to patch recently. Sure, some places of her dreamscape, the ground was dry and cracked, the sun beat too hot down on her back, water seemed never in reach. But here, in a peaceful grove where white flowers dotted the lush grass, Lark could ignore the darkness gnawing at the recesses of her mind.

'If you're walking in dreams, even if it's pretending to be among the damn stars, it'd be a kindness to visit some of your kits. Your sudden departure left some of them without any closure. Your chatty apprentice too.’

At first she'd stayed away because she had wanted to clear things up with her mother. Mothers, both of them. The first, the one who'd given birth to her, she'd slain. A mercy to them all, she'd killed to protect. The other, her leader, she'd die to protect. She'd needed to sort things out with her family, too. Howler had been the most painful to confront, but what she'd seen once as his betrayal had actually been a misconception. He had been the one to free her from the cage that'd locked her in Fablespinner's grasp. He had given her a home far from him, and so, she forgave him.

But now there was no reason to keep holding off, not when she couldn't think to bear a reality without trying to reach out to her kith and kin and mend what had broken. Yes, her attempts to reach out to Wolfkit, Sootpaw, Fallenkit, and Larkpaw had gone awry - something unknown had thwarted her from finding their presence - but that did not mean she would give up. Settling on the grass, a white-tipped paw lifted, amber eyes that burned bright fluttering shut as Lark sought her daughter's mind. And once she had found that faint, soul-shattering melody, what could a mother do but wrap her consciousness around it and gently guide it to her plane of existence?

How could she resist trying and still call herself a mother?

[ @Estelle - Sleepysunrise ]

[Estelle]

Sleepysunrise
[ 14 moons | She / Her | Shc Enforcer* | Shadow Fiend ]



[ TW: Distress, Panic attack, Self-deprecation -- Read with caution ]

The ways she was pulled from mindscape to mindscape was no unknown feeling to the youngest of the enforcers. She recognised the feeling between StarClan and the Dark Forest; ones claws ripping through skin and fur, dragging her to their feet in her own blood. The other, a gentle embrace that tickled the exposed parts of her paws and guided them along a gruelling path into the stars. Unfortunately for her, the Dark Forest was a more common visitor of her mind. They liked to face her with empty promises and vows, fill her head with dreams of knowledge, only to rip it away from her grasp and leave her disoriented and alone.

Alone.

One could suppose, that would set aside today's meeting.

She hadn't been visited enough to tell the difference between a mere visit and a true spirit; to her, they were all the same. Intruders with empty promises. Sometimes, she grew tired of their visits. Other times she entertained their frivolous chatter with bleak glares and glances until their empty promises reached her ears and she was let down again. Even Daykit, the fabled child of the stars, failed to unearth himself where he promised. So what, begged the question, would this spirit tell her today?

Perhaps her stillness was unsettling. She was tired, was all, and contemplating whether she would give this one the time of her night or wait until they approach her themselves. They didn't sound particularly special, only the lack of boisterous greeting was out of the ordinary, and enough for the kitten to turn around.

Pause.

Her head had turned in a painfully slow movement, her eyes dragged across the ground. But they stopped when white-tipped paws doted the ground, and her heart felt like it forgot to beat for just a moment. Looking further up was a meaningless task, but she still did. Eyes dragging across the queen's body, slow and calculating; the scars, the colours, she knew before she even reached her face. She couldn't look at her face. The world grew narrow again. Her eyes feeling like they were pulsating with that same pain as when she closed them that day, leaning on her grandmother's shoulder. She felt like she was falling through cracks in the ground with nothing to hold on to but a burning pain deep within her core.

"You're dead."
She muttered, refusing to look up.
"You're dead."
She muttered. Her vision was blur.
"You're Dead."
She repeated, fragile voice growing louder.
"You're Dead."
She repeated again, a violent wave washing through her. She looked up. Empty eyes ablaze.

Nothing.
There was nothing there.
Only a blurry mix of colours. She couldn't see her face. The kit couldn't see her own mother's face. She was shaken. A silent beat passed.

"You're dead. You're dead. You're Dead!"

A whispered voice grew into pained screams. She could only stare. Stare at that blank, faceless being. Stare at that body, the body of an imposter, the body of her mother, that couldn't be her mother. It wasn't the tears rendering her unable to see her mother's face; nor was it the air that was robbed from her lungs, rendering her unable to breathe.

"YOU CAN'T BE DEAD."

The world was small. So, so small. She couldn't breathe. There was no room. That cat had no face. That cat couldn't be real. How could she be real? She is dead; Darkfall lied. She is gone; Darkfall lied. She is no more; Darkfall lied. She knew he lied. She knew it. She knew it all along. Her mama wasn't dead. Her mama couldn't be dead. Her mama would come back to her like she always promised, she would help Bleedingpaw and heal Birdpaw and everything would be okay.

What a pathetic, little, useless child. Claws digging into her own paw pads. Body trembling like a newborn on winter's day. Tears aimlessly falling like it wasn't an embarrassment to act like this; grow up, Is what whispered in her mind. A merciless chant; Grow up or ---


[ @Rose ]