battery acid | p

[val]

dying out under his paws.

it's on his mind again.

nothing new, of course - he felt it first, and its pain was merciful, but still was he drained. murder wasn't real here, under the blue sky, no - nothing but clouds. it didn't count.

i'm realer than you. i need this more than you. i'm the only one deserving of life. i was always better than you. you were nothing, and i'm making you was. not even into the earth, respect isn't for you.

i ripped you apart. it felt good.

and i will always be the right one.

there didn't need to be a justification. these kinds of things are meant to happen, and there's no correct way to go about living and ending lives. he wouldn't play a game of morality, but if he did, he would've won anyway. when the sun rises, it could do so under a fog shroud or burn away the night; did it matter beyond petty preference?

i don't have to argue with you.

(i never said that.)

and you always make it feel that way. you don't need to speak when you make me hold the rose thorn - even if it pierces to the bone.

(you've a knack for making problems out of things that don't exist.)

mouth opened to argue - (oh, poor habit) - snapped shut and scowled. you don't exist. he lashed his thorn-riddled tail, the fluffy fur torn and matted. "pft," he huffed in vexation. he refused to hound himself. shouldn't even talk to himself, but that was an old song already.

the morning was foggy, the still atmosphere chilly. frigid vapor wafted from his nostrils whenever he let the warm air out. old wounds ached. because the clouds were sticking their meddling fingers into places they never belonged, the haze created phantoms blurring before his eyes. bad memories. he tried to blink it aside, and stubbornly the gloom hung.

and he saw her.

a stand-still. creaking bark. he could hear the grass breathing. couldn't hear himself - lungs froze.

(leafpaw. leafpaw. you remember her. say her name. say it. coward. SAY IT.)

insisting. insisting. there's no room. no room for it. dying throes. clawed-out throats. stinging. stinging -

saying sorry.

"leafpaw?" he croaked out.

it was her. it had to be. that silhouette - it was her's, wasn't it? if not larger now, but he knew it. she was right there, and he guessed he was conversing with ghosts again, but he was going down that rockslide once again.

well, of course, he'd dragged her down it all that time back - 12 moons if he counted - and he hadn't even been the one to pull her from the rubble. he'd left them all in the grime and dust.

"leafpaw?"

(is that all they are? debris in your life? wreckage?)

@Kix /

[Kix]

Silence
Have you any dreams you'd like to sеll?
Dreams of loneliness
+ she/her + Outsider

All she's done since leaving Thunderclan was wander around listlessly with no aim insight. Why should she have a sight in the first place? There was no place for her to make it a permanent home. Lotus, Lamb, none of them were around anymore and it was just her. On her little venture, not once did she ever come upon any of her missing siblings, not even her scum of a father. Out of anyone she sought to find it was her father, just to show him how she felt about his abandonment, her hatred. It would seem that nothing would go her way in this life she lived so far.


You are drowning in the sorrow of a billion opinions
Nobody can hear you, nobody can hear you

If she still had a tail it would be lashing back and forth in a whip-like motion at the moment. A clear show of agitation at the moment as she paced back and forth in her spot. All the pent-up emotions she had at the moment seemed to just keep piling up like dirt.

Why couldn't she just be at peace for once in her goddamn life?!

Silence hasn't yet experienced death so far but she has come close to it, way too close to it. By no means was she suicidal, no, she won't die until it's confirmed that none of her siblings are here anymore. Yet she found no scent or any sign of life of them at all.

"Leafpaw"

She froze, like an ice block in the spot she was in when she heard that name. Not again, there was no way this was happening to her again, were they showing up again to torment her?! Why couldn't they just leave her alone,?! They left her behind before back to the clan so why does now change everything?! She had already shown the spirit how much they had detested their presence. Silence had left clan life behind to not face abandonment once more, like some tormented soul. Yet it seemed to seek her out in this distance to make everything a living hell.

This is psychosis, this is psychosis


She whirled around, blue eyes set ablaze to show how angered she was to even hear their voice. LeavemealoneleavemealoneLEAVEMEALONE! Frozen, instead of seeing the familiar chimera pelt of her past mentor she's seeing someone else entirely. She wasn't expecting to see the ex-deputy of her past clan out this far. "You" was all she muttered, voice eerily calm, none of the anger or agitation from before present in her tone.

"I go by Silence now"


@val

[val]

the blazing fury in her ice-fire eyes made him shiver, flinch back expecting -

"...me," he replied with a slow tongue, thrown off so badly by the stillness of her tone that nearly every thought left his brain. him. you. me. her.

THIS FEELS VERY WRONG.

there's something nagging inside his skull, scraping the insides off the sides, peeling back film, and he knows he's looking at something that shouldn't be there, and maybe it isn't standing before him, and the grass feels like hardwood freshly mopped, and the dew is staining white to green, and it's too quiet for the violence indoors, but -

(pull it together. damn.)

a small nod. "right. Silence," he corrected.

"so." fancy meeting you here. "how...has it been?"

(wow, did you train for the Idiot rank of NobodyClan? you're really good at this.)

he cringed hearing his own words, as embarrassing as letting a bird slip from his claws. small talk is the only thing that could reach his mouth, yet it feels incredibly stupid to ask how the apprentice whose tail he ripped off is doing. he had no plans of meeting anybody - ever, he would've appended to the thought, if he didn't have a promise to fulfill. multiple. piling up like maggots at the back of his throat. he doesn't know where to begin.

being polite disgusts him. he wants nothing to do with respectability, yet he owes Leafpaw - no, Silence - more than he could possibly give. maybe a second death, he grimly settled.

@Kix