Just a white tabby kitten. Small. Defenseless. And...Cold!
He slipped into the world of the cold. It was not right. It was not good. He shivered a little as he moved all about before finding warmth against his mother's belly. It wasn't as good as his home before, but it felt right and it felt warm. It felt like a home.
Long silver-blue fur slicked to her side, not that she knew that. Her world was still dark, dark and cold. Once the tiny thing was freed from the sac she was trapped by, shrill mewling escaped her throat. She squirmed forward, following some powerful, latent instinct towards an alluring scent. The kitten didn't know that this scent was that of her mother, she didn't know what that was yet, but she instinctively knew it meant safety, warmth, and food.
She wriggled and squirmed towards this sanctuary, struggling to reach her mother's side. She wriggled through the blood stained ground, mewling helplessly until she finally felt something come in contact with her tiny paws.
The medicine cat apprentice did her absolute best to keep under control despite her speeding heart and even speedier thoughts. So.. many.. kits. And... oh, oh stars... some of them weren't moving... it was a miracle Berrypaw wasn't seeing spots around her vision. Did she do something wrong? Why weren't they squirming or crying? Oh, no — no no no...
Quelling her panic enough to keep moving (her brain in a sort of autopilot over the sheer determination and need to get this done), Berrypaw took in shaky breaths, immediately helping nip open the little sacs around each kit and gently pawing them towards their mother's belly. When Swanberry's head sagged and the contractions ceased, Berrypaw gently nudged her, pawing the moss ball of water closer again.
"Y-Yes... that's it," she mewed, her voice shaky in a mixture of nerves and adrenaline. "You did g-great, Swanberry, uh... H-Here, drink something... a-and I know you're tired, b-but I need you to help me, okay? T-There's a lot of kits here, I'll n-need you to help... each one needs the sac around them broken with just a small nip of your teeth, a-and then you need to warm them up... lick their fur the wrong way," she explained almost breathlessly, demonstrated with the nearest tiny bundle of new life [ Ripplekit - @/goodacacia ], immediately tending to the helpless creature who was shivering. Stars... the others that weren't moving were haunting her brain, but she couldn't let that distract her — not when the ones that were definitely alive and mewling needed her help...
Berrypaw worked with trembling paws, gently guiding the moving kits towards Swanberry. She swept her tail over the still ones, panic flaring in her green gaze that she hid by shielding them from view of the queen, desperately using a mixture of her gentle paws and tongue strokes to stimulate them to life in vain, vain hope...
"...s-stars... wake up... p-please, little kits... y-you can do it..." The young apprentice urged in a soft, broken whisper, feeling desperation claw at her heart. There were so many... more than half of them absolutely still... she worked even more hurried, still gentle but panicked, silently urging the little motionless bodies to just wake up--
☆TurtleKit☆
Female | 0 Moons | RiverClan Kit | Posts: 1/10
pale cream she with gray marks around her body and green eyes
Purrks: None
Interaction For: @Marigoldwhisper
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She was warm…then cold. But one thing she knew from those first moments, she was the best. She felt more bodies join her…was she the first? Of course she was! She stayed in middle of the warm bodies around her, bundling close to her mother as to say ‘pick me! pick me! She felt…panic, but she didn’t quite know what it was for yet. She didn’t know much of anything yet. Just that she was first, that something wasn’t right, and the world was very chilly.
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[Swanberry]
She, Her\Queen\28 moons\Riverclan
"Venus, planet of love, was destroyed by global warming. Did its people want to much too?"
· · ─────── ·· ─────── ·
- - -
She hadn't fallen asleep, pain still lingered like a stubborn dog, it's bite tightening on her pelt. She murmured something, debating whether or not she should rip her pelt off. She also didn't remember were she was... It took her a bit, the pain had distracted her from her sights or any of her other assisting scenes. Dull and bland, only white hot pain searing through her skin. Stars above she was thirsty... Had Riverwhisper already gone? Too many thoughts, too many suggestions.
The pale queen lifted her head to Berrypaw, her hearing fizzing in static before she focused completely. Okay. She was in the makeshift medicine den. Berrypaw was still here. She could feel multiple fuzzy things nuzzling at her belly. There was water at her nose. Wait... Her kits! She slowly turned her head around, jade eyes wide in anticipation. They were... Small. Well, she should've expected that... There was also a lot of them, much more than she thought. And a good amount of them weren't moving, certainly not as much as others. Her ears pinned to her head. Why--- why weren't they moving?
She looked to Berrypaw, her eyes lined with concern as she pushed the moss towards her once again. Or was this a new one? Perhaps the first one? No, too many thoughts. Just drink. She lapped at the soft surface, her throat parched and screaming in relief with every swallow. "Ms. Berrypaw, you sound terrible... What happened?" She whispered, her voice raspy. Though she took notice to Berrypaw's instructions and gave her a slow and curt nod. Yes, yes, her kits. The main event.
She nipped at each sac, her teeth carefully placed. Her mind was sluggish but she thought of names as she went. Something sweet maybe, if they didn't like it they could always change it later in life. She noticed how lifeless some of them looked, pale, and she swallowed harshly. She counted the kits at her belly. Uh four... Five? No, no, four (OOC - I'm also counting Bubblekit even if she isn't in this thread!). She drew out her tongue and licked them from their flank to their head, ruffling their already matted fur. She watched in numb silence as Berrypaw nudged more kits her way avoiding the kits that wouldn't move. Swanberry choked.
She then looked back at the apprentice, her eyes reflecting like pools with their watery sheen. "They're dead... Aren't they?" Her voice hitched with her mew, her throat tightening. "It's okay.... It's... It's not your fault." She reached a lazy paw to Berrypaw, but she found herself sluggish in movement, thus she barely reached her. "I failed them, not you. Plus, you saved these... Four. That's enough for me..."
Lives that six kits missed out on because of her incompetence. Six. The queen heaved a shaky sigh, her paws trembling as her tail gave way to a light lash. Something had to have gone wrong, that's just how things went. Horribly. But Starclan had selfishly taken away six lives and left her with four. Well... She'd love them the same.
__________________
❝And the cats kill one by one!❞
- Hartebeest by Yalokre
[Swanberry]
She, Her\Queen\28 moons\Riverclan
"Venus, planet of love, was destroyed by global warming. Did its people want to much too?"
· · ─────── ·· ─────── ·
- - -
She hadn't fallen asleep, pain still lingered like a stubborn dog, it's bite tightening on her pelt. She murmured something, debating whether or not she should rip her pelt off. She also didn't remember were she was... It took her a bit, the pain had distracted her from her sights or any of her other assisting scenes. Dull and bland, only white hot pain searing through her skin. Stars above she was thirsty... Had Riverwhisper already gone? Too many thoughts, too many suggestions.
The pale queen lifted her head to Berrypaw, her hearing fizzing in static before she focused completely. Okay. She was in the makeshift medicine den. Berrypaw was still here. She could feel multiple fuzzy things nuzzling at her belly. There was water at her nose. Wait... Her kits! She slowly turned her head around, jade eyes wide in anticipation. They were... Small. Well, she should've expected that... There was also a lot of them, much more than she thought. And a good amount of them weren't moving, certainly not as much as others. Her ears pinned to her head. Why--- why weren't they moving?
She looked to Berrypaw, her eyes lined with concern as she pushed the moss towards her once again. Or was this a new one? Perhaps the first one? No, too many thoughts. Just drink. She lapped at the soft surface, her throat parched and screaming in relief with every swallow. "Ms. Berrypaw, you sound terrible... What happened?" She whispered, her voice raspy. Though she took notice to Berrypaw's instructions and gave her a slow and curt nod. Yes, yes, her kits. The main event.
She nipped at each sac, her teeth carefully placed. Her mind was sluggish but she thought of names as she went. Something sweet maybe, if they didn't like it they could always change it later in life. She noticed how lifeless some of them looked, pale, and she swallowed harshly. She counted the kits at her belly. Uh four... Five? No, no, four (OOC - I'm also counting Bubblekit even if she isn't in this thread!). She drew out her tongue and licked them from their flank to their head, ruffling their already matted fur. She watched in numb silence as Berrypaw nudged more kits her way avoiding the kits that wouldn't move. Swanberry choked.
She then looked back at the apprentice, her eyes reflecting like pools with their watery sheen. "They're dead... Aren't they?" Her voice hitched with her mew, her throat tightening. "It's okay.... It's... It's not your fault." She reached a lazy paw to Berrypaw, but she found herself sluggish in movement, thus she barely reached her. "I failed them, not you. Plus, you saved these... Four. That's enough for me..."
Lives that six kits missed out on because of her incompetence. Six. The queen heaved a shaky sigh, her paws trembling as her tail gave way to a light lash. Something had to have gone wrong, that's just how things went. Horribly. But Starclan had selfishly taken away six lives and left her with four. Well... She'd love them the same.
The silvery kitten wasn't sure why, but something felt...different. Like the warm sanctuary was distressed. She didn't feel like she could stop suckling yet, some deep seeded instinct told her to eat as much as possible right now. But she did pause and mew, closed newborn eyes looking upwards. She wasn't sure what was happening, and she wasn't even aware that she was trying to offer comfort, but the action just felt right in that moment. Like she needed to give this warm, furry, milk-giver her full support. This task completed, she returned to the task of suckling, aware of other squirmy bodies around her doing the same.
Berrypaw winced as Swanberry's tired, croaked voice asked her what was wrong. She hesitated; the last thing she wanted to do was tell the queen that over half of her kits came out as still as stone and would never move again. Not even a breath had been drawn into their lungs, not even a hint of a heartbeat in their tiny bodies. Feeling her own heart ache, the apprentice let out a shaky sigh, casting a sorrowful glance.
"I'm... I-I'm sorry, Swanberry... they didn't make it," she whispered, her voice low and trembling. "They... m-must died before coming out, I-I don't know... I'm sorry." Her head bowed low to the ground for a moment in grief. Had she done something wrong...? No, the kits had come out dead, but... she couldn't shake this nagging sense of guilt like a thorn in her paw.
When Swanberry then reached out a paw as if to try to comfort her, Berrypaw quickly shook her head, her bright green eyes watery in emotion. "N-No, no, it wasn't your fault... d-don't say that," she assured, resting her skinny tail on Swanberry's flank. "Sometimes this just... happens. Y-Your other kits look healthy, so... that's a blessing," she mewed in an attempt at a hopeful voice, quietly stepping aside as she gave up on the stillborn kits with a weary sigh.
It broke her heart to see them, lifeless and cold... stars, it was so awful to look at. Tearing her gaze away, the medicine cat apprentice returned to the queen for now, glancing between her and Riverwhisper.
"J-Just... keep taking care of yourself, a-and making sure they're warm and fed, and then... they should be just fine," Berrypaw went on, clearing her throat in a feeble attempt to bypass the lump that had formed in it. Her eyes lowered to the squriming, mewling lumps that now kneaded at their mother's belly; it softened the stabbing pain of grief and guilt in her, making a soft, somber smile appear on Berrypaw's maw.
"...They're beautiful kits, Swanberry," she added in a soft, genuine tone after a moment of silence. Then she hesitated, glancing back at the stillborn ones, now left cold and alone... it felt wrong. She glanced between them and Swanberry, asking quietly: "...d-do you... want to see them too...?" She didn't know if it'd be too painful or not, so there was no inclination in her voice to lean either way. And the last thing she wanted to do was further stress or grieve this new mother who'd just given birth.
↳ *riverwhisper* ༉‧₊˚✧
the lost lover
worldweaver t2 ✦ he/him ✦ died at 25 moons ✦ 3 moons in death
[SPIRITUAL ENCOUNTER ACTIVATED]
Oh StarClan. He whispered soft reassurances in Swanberry's ear as she kitten, but there was so much blood. He flinched at the sight of it, it reminded him of how the ground was stained red with his as he died. His starry form's comforting words slowly trailed off as he realized how many kits there were, and how many weren't moving. But then one of them caught his eye. A small spirit, not a newborn but still very young, emerged from the small body. "Oh no..." he whispered in horror. Reaching out his paw, he pulled the tiny spirit closer to him. And slowly, 5 more appeared. Pulling them all in closer, he groomed the tiny cats. "I-I'll name them." he stammered in shock.
This one. His name should be Silkkit. Feel his fur." he said, gently stroking the dead kit's soft fur. "Pumpkinkit. She was born in leaf-fall. It fits, I guess." Riverwhisper said. He looked at the next stillborn. The first one he'd noticed. "Streamkit. She reminds me of my brother." he murmured. He hadn't seen Currentpaw in StarClan yet. Where was the brother he failed? The silver tabby tom gently nosed one of the kits. "This one will be Berrykit. After you." he said to his mate. And then there were just two more to name. "Swankit. After you. Again." he said numbly. Just one more. Could he do it? Could he not break down into tears. "Shimmerkit." the StarClan tom choked out.
Riverwhisper looked at Berrypaw. He could feel the guilt rolling off of her in waves. Turning to his mate, he began to talk. "It's not your fault. If anything, it's mine. If I hadn't been stupid enough to attack Dawnstar, I wouldn't have died. You wouldn't have grieved so much. You wouldn't be stressed. These kits wouldn't have died." he said, shaking his head. It was all his fault. It was his own stupidity that had killed him and 6 of his kits.Six. Out of 10 kits, only four survived. But he would take as much care of them as he possibly could.
By the way! Berrykit 2 was renamed Swankit so that he wouldn't be double naming (I'm very eepy writing this so sorry if i made some mistakes, while writing and while recounting the events n stuff)
__________________
❝ It's just me myself and I, stuck in my bedroom livin' in this world you left behind❞
Toyhouse | Character Site (WIP) | Art Shop | Discord
It was warm... Until it wasn't. The chill of her first breath shocked her, a raspy, newborn mew escaping her parted lips. The kit was... Small. Small and weak, pale silver fur tinged a gentle red with the blood of her birthing.
It took her a moment, perhaps... but despite her size, she did her best to make a space for herself in the chaos of her many siblings. Likely, with much trouble and not without assistance. Hopefully, though she would receive as much warmth as the rest.
❍｡º○ ○º｡❍
__________________
You've had to walk a dark and terrible path alone.
Re: "now I lay as I study a blank wall" [p]
Berryshine is RiverClan's medicine cat! 
(I'm very eepy writing this so sorry if i made some mistakes, while writing and while recounting the events n stuff)
