You'll Be In My Heart

[Alchemist Kitsune]

| Dapplebreeze |
71 Moons - WindClan Fury Lieutenant
Agatha Kitty - Active | Silver Tongue - Active | Killer Aptitude [Tier 3] - Inactive

---

Dirt encrusted paws led the senior warrior towards the camp, exhaustion clear in her eyes, albeit far from physical. She had kept her composure through it all. Let her darling bird leave this world with a mother she could be proud of. Buried her for the second time in her life. A life that suddenly seemed far too long. Far too empty.

The patched warrior knew she would keep going. She had to. To do otherwise would be to turn a blind eye at all her daughter had given to the clan. At what her son had given up for it. She needed to be strong. To be an example for her precious new grandkits and great-grandkits to look up to. Fond as she was of Snowybreeze and grateful to Bravebird for having helped mend the rift that had been there since before his birth she could admit that he was too soft. His heart was in the right place, but it wasn't hardened to the realities of life as hers had been. Hawkfur was obviously in the same vein of emotion, and yet right now... she couldn't look him in the eye and tell him to keep it together. She hadn't the strength for it.

Dark blues adjusting to the darkness of the warriors' den, Dapplebreeze turned her gaze from left to right, noticing how empty it was. Hawkfur no doubt went to his kittens. Crowtooth... Crowtooth was probably with them. She should be there too, except... she shouldn't. They weren't her kits. They were Hawkfur's. It was his place to talk to them. To ease them into the idea that their mother was never coming back. That her daughter would never step foot in WindClan again. And worst of all, she hadn't a clue if she preferred it this way.

A stumble among the nests, and she found herself falling into one with a familiar scent still in it. Bravebird's old nest. The one she'd used before she had moved to the nursery. It started slow. A pitched gasp as she tried to compose herself. A single tear that went against her demands. A small, low moan of anguish that scrunched up her face and all was lost.

A mournful wail escaped the warrior, all pretense of a hardened heart and pride gone. The first time she had kept herself composed. Ryekit had been too young. She could not crumble under the pressure of losing her only daughter when her youngest son looked up to her still. The second time had been... difficult. She hadn't just lost Bravebird that day, but Ryepaw as well. The fire had devoured any trace of them, and she had let herself waste away. Defeated. All sense of self had been corroded as she simply awaited death to come for her. She had been spared. The medicine cat - an apprentice at the time - had denied her wishes, and forced new life into her. Life that had allowed her to see her precious daughter again. See not only grandkits, but great grandkits as well. And yet now?

The fact that she had lived through her daughter's death thrice still remained. The fact that she would never see her or her sons ever again will forever haunt her. The knowledge that she had outlived all her kits, no matter how hard she had tried to raise them to be strong, magnificent warriors. And they had been. Bravebird had been a force to be reckoned with. Whisperbreeze had as well, his final moment spent in battle, protecting apprentices from the cruel claws of ShadowClan's rats. Ryepaw had been taken too soon to tell, and yet selfishly she clung to the hope that it remained that way.

No more. She had the strength to lose no more of her kittens. The former queen curled up in her daughter's former nest, paws covering her face as she wept, allowing herself this moment of weakness as she found herself away from the prying eyes of her clanmates. Hidden from the view of the stars. She would pick up the pieces. Dapplebreeze refused to fall once more. She would live on, if only to not worry her. To ensure Bravebird remained in Silverpelt. Enjoying the eternal rest she had earned in her short life.

But today? Today she would grieve. She would openly weep in solitude. Not just for her daughter, but for the kits that she'd left behind. For the heart she feared had broken three times too many. Shattered to a point where the pieces could never fully form what it had once been ever again, fragments pushed to the side as they made way for the memory of those who no longer walked WindClan besides her. Because as long as she breathed, they would be a part of WindClan. They would be in her heart. Always.

---

@Moonraven [Batglare]
| Gah, excuse the length in this one! I had originally intended for this to be a single post, but after a few power outages, I decided to mix it alongside a similar VA I had planned of her handling her grief if only because it was going to be fairly similar and I did not want to write this for a fifth time. Feel free to have Batglare come talk to her now, or notice her and leave if you prefer! Can deal with a timeskip of present time with her after the fact instead. |

[Moonraven]

The massive warrior lumbered towards the warriors' den on silent paws. He paused at the threshold, fluffy ears twitching as he heard the soft cries from within. Unlike most cats, Batglare was a very private tom and kept to himself even in a clan as... good-natured as WindClan. He avoids drama as if it were a plague and despises socializing. He never stuck his nose in another cat's business unless it was a direct order. So he was tempted to back away and leave the crier to their lonesome.

Alas, the freshest scent belonged to a she-cat he'd grown rather tolerable over the past few moons. He couldn't put a name on the relationship, but he couldn't put a name on the relationship with Leechscar or Twilightstar. He wasn't the type of tom to think that deeply about the bonds he formed with cats.

Dapplebreeze had recently buried her daughter. He had difficulty empathizing with her, his bond with Bravebird hadn't been strong enough for him to bother shedding tears. In Batglare's lifetime, he's watched and buried many fallen clanmates and at this point he's was rather numb to the loss. It was a cold outlook perhaps, but many cats felt strongly enough to grieve and miss the fallen; that Batglare trying to replicate such pure emotion felt ungenuine and disrespectful to their memory.

Few in WindClan would remember the fiercely loyal and brave she-cat. The smiles she brought her clanmates, the blood she shed on the battlefield, the fiery life she brought to WindClan. Batglare honored their fallen by being among the few who remembered them. It was the least he could do if he could not cry or grieve for them.

But this brought him to a new predicament. Whether to intrude on a grieving mother or leave her be. It wasn't in his nature to infringe and old habits made his paws want to further back away from the den, but moons spent tending and adjusting to Twistedpaw's neediness has taught him that comfort could be found in his presence, and this warm serenity in offering. Yet, this situation differed from when he aided Twistedpaw or even Eldersky.

He'd like to support the molly yet he'd be aghast if she thought he was pitying her. He should leave her be, but there was also the problem that Batglare wasn't good with words. If he left her be and sought her out later it would most likely require words he'd rather not speak. What do you say to a cat who's lost their family? Condolence? Sorry? You okay? That was far too pitiful for him to even think about offering.

He'd rather take a leap of faith now, try, and step back if she'd rather be alone. So, cautiously, as if he were approaching a den full of mother badgers, he crept into the den and made his way toward Dapplebreeze. Wasn't that Bravebird's old nest? Stab him in the heart why don't you? Batglare would freeze with ears slanted backward should she glance his way, awaiting any signal or indication that he was allowed to draw closer, and then plop himself beside her on his side.

His ears remained cautiously slanted sideways, and he made sure not to rest in Bravebird's nest. The feeling that he was intruding wouldn't leave so he was a bit tenser than he'd liked. He'd rest his chin on his extended front legs, and carefully coil his tail around the she-cat's back, waiting to be sent off at any given moment. His green-yellow glare was clear of any judgment as he observed the molly. Twistedpaw sometimes just needed a good cry to feel better, it always left his fluff a mess, but he rarely minded. He was going to assume the same with Dapplebreeze for now.

@Alchemist Kitsune [Sorry for taking forever to reply!]

[Alchemist Kitsune]

| Dapplebreeze |
71 Moons - WindClan Fury Lieutenant
Agatha Kitty - Active | Silver Tongue - Active | Killer Aptitude [Tier 3] - Inactive

---

She hadn't heard the approach, nose too clogged with tears, with the scent of the grave's dirt to sense him. Ears too closed off to her surroundings in her despair. The former queen had not thought anyone would enter the den for a while longer. As a rule, most WindClanners preferred the outdoors, the openness of the camp more suitable for the moor dwelling felines. And it was far too early for most any to come for a rest. In earnest, in her sorrow, she had left herself vulnerable to be found, and it wasn't until he stood besides her that she saw her mistake for what it was.

Tension stiffened her shoulders. Shame in the self pity she was indulging in washed over her momentarily. And before a warrior she respected as much as Batglare no less. For all her soft, demure tones and maternal instinct when it came to the entirety of the clan, Dapplebreeze was a proud WindClan warrior. The thought of being seen as anything less than gnawed at her, and for a second she considering standing up and excusing herself before the tom could even speak. And yet her heart still ached, no matter how much she willed it not to. This third and - hopefully - final blow stronger than those before it ever were. She feared she would not be able to remove herself from the den even if she tried to, her legs stubbornly settled in her daughter's nest before the scent all but withered away.

Batglare did not speak, and after a second of silence, the former queen dared glance at him, her eyes still glistening with tears that she now refused to shed - pride battled her grief to the very end, it seemed - when she noticed his stiff, awkward posture. His flattened ears. The tom was not here to ridicule nor judge. Of course he wasn't... It was only her own ego believing he would be capable of such. He had always had a softer side than he showed. She was aware of this much. He had... his own gruff ways of letting it be known. Such as staying by her side but refusing to impose on her without a sign that he was welcomed in this intimate moment of grieving.

The patched lieutenant nodded, offering a sad, hollow smile that didn't quite reach her eyes before he lay besides her. Careful to not enter her daughter's domain. Here for her, but certain to not take away from the personal nature of this moment from her. Thankful to the entirety of the gesture, Dapplebreeze pressed herself against the dark tom, her face buried in his shoulder as softer, quieter tears escaped her, no doubt causing discomfort as they wetted his pelt. The sobs were no longer raking her body - pride having lost the moment the tears left her - the comfort of a cat her heart had grown fond for making the unbearableness of the situation a bit more tolerable. Painful... but not blindingly so. The shelter to a buffeting, merciless storm.

She didn't thank him. Not with words. Not until her tears were spent and she removed her head from his side, dark blue hues meeting clear - if perhaps careful - green yellow ones. The gratitude was clear in her gaze as she offered another smile, this one spent, exhausted, yet calmer. More serene as she lay her own head on her own paws besides his, closing her eyes. Willing to be done with this dreadful day already. She would not blame the tom for leaving if he did. But as she wrapped her own tail on his back she let him know he was welcome to stay as long as he liked.

---

@Moonraven [Batglare]
| No worries! I'm still playing catchup to my week of power outages and internet non having. If you like, we can leave this interaction here and roleplay them at another point in time? You can post a closer if you prefer going that route. If not, I'll respond to the next post for sure, not a problem! |