i dont have it in me no more [p]

[alec]

->> jayfrost <<-
[ he/him | riverclan | 27moons | burn baby burn ]
a tall, skinny, silver classic-tabby with well groomed short to medium length fur and icy blue eyes

he had calmed down from after his little outburst at the meeting, had stayed in the nursery until the kits went back to sleep and staying in one place for long enough that his terror had begun to ebb away. what he was left with was fear, not the kind that blinded you and left you with no thoughts beside run run run, but the one that settled deep in your chest and gnawed away at you from the inside out. kits out of the way for now the sought out garlicfeather, he planned to make it short and to the point but was already mentally preparing to make an absolute fool of himself.
"garlicfeather, quick word please" he muttered, not quite trusting his voice but it came out weak and desperate anyway, embarrassing. he hoped garlicfeather would follow him out of camp without protest, even though it was the middle of the night. he felt so pathetic, not only for asking garlicfeather to practically run away with him but also because he felt so weak and just wanted comfort he knew he couldnt ask of the other.
he opened his mouth, intent on listing off a whole bunch of excuses first but decided against it, "i, er i dont know" he exhaled heavily, maybe he shouldve thought about the specific words he would use.
"thing is," light eyes darted around garlicfeathers face before he let his gaze drop to the ground before his paws. "please leave. with me."
he felt like he was burning, shame, fear of rejection or every other possible negative reaction, all too much.

@Fritter /

[Fritter]

Originally Posted by alec

->> jayfrost <<-
[ he/him | riverclan | 27moons | burn baby burn ]
a tall, skinny, silver classic-tabby with well groomed short to medium length fur and icy blue eyes

he had calmed down from after his little outburst at the meeting, had stayed in the nursery until the kits went back to sleep and staying in one place for long enough that his terror had begun to ebb away. what he was left with was fear, not the kind that blinded you and left you with no thoughts beside run run run, but the one that settled deep in your chest and gnawed away at you from the inside out. kits out of the way for now the sought out garlicfeather, he planned to make it short and to the point but was already mentally preparing to make an absolute fool of himself.
"garlicfeather, quick word please" he muttered, not quite trusting his voice but it came out weak and desperate anyway, embarrassing. he hoped garlicfeather would follow him out of camp without protest, even though it was the middle of the night. he felt so pathetic, not only for asking garlicfeather to practically run away with him but also because he felt so weak and just wanted comfort he knew he couldnt ask of the other.
he opened his mouth, intent on listing off a whole bunch of excuses first but decided against it, "i, er i dont know" he exhaled heavily, maybe he shouldve thought about the specific words he would use.
"thing is," light eyes darted around garlicfeathers face before he let his gaze drop to the ground before his paws. "please leave. with me."
he felt like he was burning, shame, fear of rejection or every other possible negative reaction, all too much.

@Fritter /

Garlic Feather
Purrks; Just a scratch| Beefed up tier 3|
He-Him { River Clan } Warrior

GarlicFeather had been lingering in the clearing- quite odd for the middle of the night, but he must admit that nothing quite beat the view of silverpelt and the eerie calm this chaotic muck of a clan held during the time the moon was up. His focus was almost entirely on the sky and would’ve been for a moment or two longer had he not found himself in sudden conversation with JayFrost. Well, not sudden, but it certainly felt like it. ‘Sure.’ GarlicFeather did try to stirr up some extra energy to shake off the feeling of fatigue that he assumed every-cat had clinging to them during nightfall. And of course, JayFrost was his best friend- but being told to “ have a quick word “ in the middle of the night wasn’t the most… inconspicuous way of telling him that this was serious- somewhat. Alongside that there was clearly some sort of desperation in the question? GarlicFeather wasn’t a know it all, nor a feelings dissector so he was sort of rolling with it for the moment. Trailing out of camp behind JayFrost he blinked as they came to a pause and ‘ I, er i dont know’ being the first words did make GarlicFeather doubtful but he assumed there was more to come than that (and hoped because he was really tired and he couldn’t risk being in a bad mood tomorrow). GarlicFeather blinked at the coming of the serious question, in question. “Please leave. With me” for a moment he didn’t quite connect the dots and glanced around, hadn’t they already left camp? GarlicFeather shuffled his paws over one another, trying to stirr his thoughts into more useful motion than wondering about how comfy every other cat must be in their nests. Leaving, the other kind of leaving, leaving the clan? No! He had wayy too much happening, he could be a lionheart, he’s working his tail off for the chance and he’s got an actual place in clan for once. He’s happy here. Sure he’s exhausted but not enough to make such a choice! And RiverClan is only just turning around for the better with a new leader who looks like they’ll at last stay and a full stack of high ranks. And- if they did what clan would they go to? Were they even going to a clan? When- why- agh! GarlicFeather thought that his decision was veryy clear here. But. Even if he had so much left to do, he still didn’t want to see his bestfriend in the whole stardamned world go away forever without him. In fact probably his only friend since every other friend GarlicFeather’s had turned into love and then their death and his grieving. ‘Im sorry JayFrost but- I can’t- I have so much i have to do and. I-,’ GarlicFeather’s voice shrunk for a moment, losing its usual confident volume. ‘I can’t.’ was he making this worse by speaking? Maybe he should have just shook his head- would it have made saying it easier? Garlic feather felt admittedly horrible- what if JayFrost ran off on his own and just- got hurt or- GarlicFeather tried to shove down the thoughts but he was horribly worried alongside shocked. Did he really need to stay here, wouldn’t it be so much easier to just say yes and run off into the distance.
(i’d just woke up when i started replying so sorry if this doesn’t make any sense )