(TW: Mentions of emotional and physical abuse)
Shademoss found himself in the forest, at night it seemed. Nearby was Pondstreak, looking disappointed. Suddenly Shademoss realized what was going on: it was a memory, and an especially painful one, from what he remembered.
“Why didn’t you do the move right? Ravenpaw did just fine.” Pondstreak growled.
“I dunno, I guess I was just off-balance or something.” Shadepaw muttered.
“You’re lucky it wasn’t a real battle. A warrior wouldn’t have been so kind towards you.” There was a pause before Pondstreak continued. “You know, you’re lucky, back when I was an apprentice our mentors wouldn’t be so lenient. If we messed up they would claw our ears. You’re lucky to have your mentor.”
Shadepaw clenched his jaw and said nothing. He just wanted to be done. He didn’t care if Pondstreak won, he just wanted to stop interacting with him.
Pondstreak scoffed and turned around. “You’ll never get to be leader at this rate, or even deputy for that matter. You’re too weak.”
“Maybe I don’t want to be leader one day.” Shadepaw growled, finally looking up.
Pondstreak stopped and turned around. “What?”
“I don’t want to be leader.” Shadepaw repeated.
Pondstreak scoffed. “What else would you want to become? You clearly don’t want to be a medicine cat, and there’s no use in just being a warrior.”
Shadepaw looked down at his paws and muttered something.
Pondstreak growled and came close to Shadepaw’s face, making the young tom flinch. “What was that?”
“A-A nursery tom. You know, help take care of the kits with the queens.” Shadepaw timidly mewed.
Pondstreak blinked and snarled unsheathing his claws and raking them across Shadepaw’s ear. Shadepaw yelped and stumbled back, feeling warm blood drip down his ear. “Are you out of your mind?! I put you through all of this training to become a powerful cat, and you want to rot away in the nursery?! Stars, you sound like your useless mother.” Pondstreak snapped.
Shadepaw clenched his jaw and looked away, trying to surpress all of the emotions welling up inside him.
Ponstreak hissed and turned away. “I expect better of you, Shadepaw. You’re meant to become a formidable force of ShadowClan, not a weak-hearted queen.” He stalked away, leaving Shadepaw alone. As soon as he was far enough away Shademoss crumpled to the ground and started sobbing, his whole body trembling. Maybe his father was right. Maybe he was useless. Maybe he was weak-hearted.
Maybe if he became a strong warrior, Pondstreak wouldn’t hate him so much.
Shademoss suddenly jolted awake, finding himself back in the warrior’s den. He tried to wipe away the tears streaked down his face and rested his head on his paws, taking a deep, shaky breath.
Maybe one day his father would love him.
Deadbeat (VA)
