you'll never be alone again |p|

[poppy]

Dovefluff

A few hours after the meeting, the young queen left her corner in the nursery, after thinking and thinking and thinking some more. After trying to make sure that she was ready, that she was sure. And she had come to the conclusion that she'd never be ready but she knew that she was sure. Ever since she had met the young apprentice, she had felt a connection there. A special connection, one that she had only ever shared with four other special little children of hers.

So, she poked her head in the apprentice's den, and the fluffy gray queen searched the den for a certain pastel pelt. Finding it, she softly called into the den. "Springpaw? I was going to go on a walk, would you like to join me?" She asked gently. If the apprentice wasn't ready or in a good place, she wanted to phrase it as an option. Because it was. All of it was optional, she wasn't going to force anything on the younger cat.

This just.... felt right.

[ @ares - very gross starter, I promise I'll do better ]

[iliri]

• Springpaw •
long-furred, oriental-shaped, gray-and-orange calico molly with blue eyes, torn right ear
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Being the new medicine cat apprentice felt… strange, in all honesty.

The young calico had been merely sitting on her old moss-bed, eyes focused on the coarse dirt beneath the bed, its surface heavily meddled with paw prints of different apprentices that entered and left the den. This will… probably be the last time she even entered this den from suddenly gaining such a higher rank. Her brain clicked and ticked as she silently drew a paw across the dirt, caking it with slight brown. Out of all cats that could’ve been picked… why her? Was it because of it being new-leaf? Or because of the omen that StarClan gave? A small shudder escaped the calico as her tracing paw drew to an abrupt halt. The fur along her sides were still dampened from the sudden rain that had happened during the meeting that reconciled her with her new rank, and… Springpaw wasn’t quite sure if she could properly fit in with this new rank. What if she failed? What if she didn’t succeed?

“Don’t be so ridiculous…” she softly mumbled to herself, voice low and merely a whisper, “you won’t fail. You were picked for a reason. StarClan chose you to become the next medicine cat apprentice. It’s just… for a reason.” Wow. Talk about words of encouragement. A stifled huff escaped Springpaw’s throat as her claws instinctively dug themselves into the dirt below, causing more disturbance to the ground below. The bitter corners of her mind screamed that she wasn’t a perfect fit, and honestly, Springpaw felt like they were right. Yet, another part of her fought against it and screamed that it was the right decision. She will be a good medicine cat… someday. Someday she could help her clan-mates out with practically anything. Make sure that they have enough herbs to keep her clan thriving and running. Yeah, that’s what she needed to do.

Her ears quickly perked up against the familiar voice of Dovefluff, her claws quickly ripping themselves out from the dirt as a silent yelp escaped her throat. Her eyes flicked over in the entrance of the apprentice den, fur raised and ears now quickly pressing against her head. Her stance loosened once her body took in the realization of that the incomer being Dovefluff, the young calico shaking her head as she lifted up a paw, silently drawing her tongue across its dirtied surface. “Sorry, Dovefluff, I didn’t know you were there.” She softly mumbled, lowering her paw again as her oceanic blue gaze made contact with the gray queen, puzzlement and confusion flooding her gaze. A walk? Dovefluff wanted to go on… a walk? Springpaw didn’t mind the gesture, of course, she could totally use the walk to clear her troubled mind. However, a small pinch of curiosity had almost got the best of her, yet, she fought it off as she nimbly stood up, tail whisking itself from side to side.

“Of course I’ll go on a walk with you, I need to clear my mind anyways.” Springpaw implied, giving off a short, clear smile as she glanced at the molly, making her way towards the former queen as her eyes narrowed to adjust themselves to the sudden light casting among her eyes. Geez, how long had she been in there for contemplating the choices that were given? She didn’t know, but she just wanted a clear mindset and this little stroll could easily help with that.

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@jupiter [sorry, this was a little bad and messy, but take it anyways!]

[poppy]

Dovefluff

The molly flinched in surprise as she seemed to have startled the new medicine cat apprentice, and she lowered her head in an apology with a soft smile, relaxing in relief and nerves as the apprentice proceeded to follow her out. Noticing the younger cat needing to pause to let her eyes adjust, the queen purred softly in amusement. "It's bright out, isn't it?" After slowing down to let Springpaw's eyes adapt, the queen led them out of camp. All the words that she had practiced earlier that morning were on the tip of her tongue, and she took a few deep breaths as they padded along, flicking her tail to signal a slight pause, once they were in a nice, quiet clearing. Exhaling softly, the fluffy gray queen turned, heart fluttering like a butterfly in her chest and her paws shook.

"Springpaw..." She began, trying to hide how nervous she was. "I was wondering if I could ask you o-or... really, offer something to you, if that was okay?" After hopefully given the confirmation to continue, the molly fixed her deep lapis eyes on the lighter blue eyes of the calico.

"I've been thinking for a while, especially after what you told me during the last meeting and I... well, I suppose I'm finally putting it into words. It hurts my heart whenever you look like you think that you're alone, or whenever I see any look of pain in your eyes. Y-you've been carrying so... much, and I want to help you bear the weight, I would take it all without a second thought." God, she was rambling. For the six-hundreth time. The molly took a few deep breaths to calm herself, because if she was nervous, then Springpaw might think she was doubting her question and she wasn't. She would never.

Dovefluff personally had never been apart of a functional family. Her mother was always angry, her father was never around, and her siblings... They liked to play fight. She couldn't count the number of times she had been ganged up on as a child, always excluded, the forgotten youngest kit. Her theory was that, since all she knew was toxicity and dysfunction, that was what drew her to him. Darklight. Her mate, the father of her kits. So perhaps that was why she had been so enchanted by him, because while he reminded her of everything she feared in her parents and family, neglectful, angry, demanding, aggressive, he showed her love. He was like the family she never had. It wasn't until she was a warrior and carrying his kits that she really took a good look at the life she led. The night after she had met Sootfur at the Gathering.

Were parents supposed to be neglectful and cruel? Were siblings supposed to be bullies? Were mates supposed to be tyrannical and violent against her? That was the night that her reality fell apart, and the next day, she has messily split with her mate, and had fled to Herondive Hollow and to Sootfur and ThunderClan. A Clan she had thought wasn't as broken as her birth Clan. But she saw the signs. Cats who shouldn't be parents would become parents, and then the children- who should be cherished as the most valuable treasure- would pay.

She would go through hell and back to ensure that Springpaw would no longer know the pain of losing a cat who was supposed to love her the most. A mother- or any parent for that matter- had a sacred duty to defend and love their children and always be there for them. Springpaw's birth giver was not a mother. The molly who had brought Dovefluff into existence wasn't Dovefluff's mother.

"I truly don't believe that the cat who brought you and your siblings into life was a mother... B-because being a mother is a responsibility and privilege, not a title someone automatically earns when they bring life into the world. W-what I'm trying to say is, I care very deeply for you, Springpaw. and I would love to be able to take care of you a-as my daughter. I... I would like to offer to have the privilege of being your mother, if you'd allow me... I-I want to be able to take care of you and love you and hold you whenever you need it, if you would have me?" There. Wow. She said it. It felt like nerves filled her body, but she just waited patiently, knowing there was nothing else she could say or do she just.... had to trust the process and allow Springpaw to make the decision best for herself.

[ @ares ]

[iliri]

• Springpaw •
long-furred, oriental-shaped, gray-and-orange calico molly with blue eyes; torn right ear
_________________________________________________

“Yeah, definitely bright out.” Springpaw mumbled in response, stopping briefly to rub her eyes with a forepaw, trying to get them adjusted to the bright atmosphere. It had been a good while since the meeting, and since Bumblestar had spoken with her and Drizzlecloud in private, and honestly she felt completely drained out of it. She would do anything to just simply take a breather and rest for a good bit. However, she knew that such a thing may not be so easy to accomplish. Especially when she and her mentor had little to no knowledge of herbal cures in their ranks. That mentally freaked the molly out, judging from the gray fur along her narrow shoulders bristling with unease, Springpaw forcing her fur to quickly lie flat to keep herself calm. She wasn’t going to risk herself freaking out over the simplest of things that she could easily learn. There was both Roseraven and Cinderpaw, so they should be fine, right?

During their stroll in the forest, Springpaw’s eyes were glancing around at the heavy greenery of plants and trees that grew all around them. Her nose overfilling with the familiar scents of the wilderness that surrounded the place. A small smile began to grow apparent as the calico silently thought of when Rabbitchatter took her to Wisteria Falls, and that place was surely a beautiful sight. Especially the large, roaring fall. Stars, just thinking about the falls and the scent of the water that rushed through the stream there made the calico’s heart soar. However, a heavy pang was held along in her chest from the simple thought, the corners of her lips curling slightly as she thought about the disappearance of her old mentor. She probably shouldn’t think about him too much, of course, as she had other duties to attend to. Such as learning about how a medicine cat can help heal the sick and weak and tend to the wounded. Those were the main priorities that were embedded into her brain.

Out of the corner of her eyes, a flash of blue went on by and her mouth quickly grew agape, a silent gasp escaping her maw. She recognized those feathers, and the specific bird that had landed atop of that tree. It was a blue-jay, and it could’ve possibly been the same one that Rabbitchatter and her had spotted a moon ago while he was teaching her how to properly hunt. Her jaws slow drifted themselves shut as a warm smile drew back along her lips. The thought about the beautifully blue-feathered bird made the young apprentice fill with a warmth that she wasn’t much familiar with. The only times she had felt it was when she had been bonding with her old mentor and had been growing close with Dovefluff. She didn’t bother to pay much attention towards it, as Dovefluff spoke to get her attention, causing the calico to quizzically turn her head towards the direction of the gray queen, puzzlement filling her oceanic eyes. “Um, yeah, of course. What is it that you wanted to ask?” She questioned, tilting her head slightly as she began to silently wait for her answer.

Which, wasn’t too long for her to wait for an answer as Dovefluff began to talk, Springpaw’s blue eyes watching as Dovefluff stammered and rambled to get the correct words to escape her maw. More curiosity began to overflow the young feline as she listened, brows narrowing slightly as she opened her jaws to ask what she had meant, before slowly shutting them again as she went into more depth. Springpaw’s heart felt like it was pounding against her chest, Dovefluff’s words seeping into her troubled mind. It… she felt bad for whenever she was in pain? She wanted to take all her pain away from her? Of course, Springpaw couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty from the molly speaking so truthfully about this. Another side of her tremendously adored the gray feline for it, half of her lips curled into a crooked smile. Her jaws opened slightly to say something, yet not a word escaped her lips. Her smiling at Dovefluff speaking felt oddly wrong, but she decided to deal with it anyways.

However, the moment Dovefluff began speaking more, Springpaw’s smile faded and her expression replaced almost entirely with a mixture of shock and bewilderment. Her words… made sense. It made sense in such a twisted way that Springpaw could’ve swore that her heart felt like it had decided to skip a beat or two. As utter silence ushered throughout the young calico, she looked away from the gray queen to contemplate about the words the queen had just spewed. Dovefluff saw her as a daughter. A child she could hold onto and never let go. A daughter that she could comfort and love for without a care in the world. Dovefluff wanted to care for Springpaw, call her a daughter and love her like she was her own child. Springpaw’s eyes drifted shut as she silently thought about the molly as her mother. It was true that Springpaw’s mother-… birth giver hadn’t been the greatest influence on her life, having left Springpaw at only four moons old to care for her own siblings.

Not only did she not have a mother, but she never knew truly much about her father. Springpaw hadn’t thought much about who her father could truly even be at the most part, yet the corners of her brain at the time when she was little, had contemplated that her father could’ve been a noble warrior that died for her clan. That he could’ve been a brave tom that defended his clan and kept it safe. Yet, Springpaw knew mentally it couldn’t be true. There wasn’t much of a way how her own father could’ve been a good warrior. He could’ve been just as bad as her birth giver and abandoned her when he had found out she had been an expectant of Springpaw and her siblings. The bitter thought stung really, but it couldn’t be the harmful truth, and Springpaw absolutely hated bringing up honest truths. It hurts to make them and it hurts even worse when you break them. Just a way of life, Springpaw had silently assumed.

Sucking in a deep, hesitant breath, Springpaw turned her head to face eye contact with the molly that she had only known for a whole moon. Her oceanic depths staring into her deep lapis blue, hesitance and need churning within the apprentice’s chest. Her heart desired for her to accept the offer, accept the yearning of what Springpaw had wanted for so long and finally call Dovefluff her own mother. Yet, her mind contradicted with such a desire and her mind screamed that Dovefluff would just be like her birth giver; abandon her as soon as she made her promise. Be like Rabbitchatter and leave her without saying anything about leaving. A prickle of doubt creeped through Springpaw’s mind as she silently contemplated the choices that she had to make. Should she accept? Should she decline? She didn’t know.

A silent sigh escaped the molly as she focused her gaze on Dovefluff again, lips pursed as she began to respond to the molly. “I… Dovefluff, this is… This is one of the things I never expected to hear at all. I never truly thought about looking up to another cat again and call them my parent. Well, that was until you came around. You changed my life. You… made me a happier cat and that’s something I never wish the change. You comforted me at the times I needed you most and you were there for me when times went tough, same for me as for you. We both came from different roads, yet we both suffered the same casualties. That’s… what makes us close like family. Our similarities. Our differences. Our… bond. I’ve never had a true mother who took care of me and loved me the way that you did, Dovefluff. I never had anyone who did that. It was just me and my siblings by ourselves.” Springpaw went silent for a moment, staring at Dovefluff to allow her for a moment to think about what the young calico was stating.

“What I’m trying to say is…” Springpaw stepped a couple paw-steps closer to the molly, a smile drawing across her maw as she looked up at her, “that I accept you as my mother. I accept you becoming my mom and being the one that will be there for me. As, I know you will. I’ll be there for you, and you’ll be there for me.” She smiled again, showing off the tiny crook of a canid before leaning in, wrapping a paw around Dovefluff’s shoulder as she pulled herself close to the gray molly. Then, she softly mumbled the words that she never, ever truly expected the ramble out.

“I love you, mom.”

_________________________________________________

@jupiter [THERE IT IS! FINALLY MOTHER AND DAUGHTER! WOOO!]

[poppy]

Dovefluff

Dovefluff had purred at Springpaw taking the scenery in, admiring the young molly's attention to even the small things. She didn't see that much it the younger generation, because they were so used to seeing big, negative things, they typically didn't notice the smaller, positive things. Like a new flowerbud on a plant, or a flitting butterfly. Hell, or even the singing birds in the trees. She remembered her friend, hawkbite, with that thought, and chuckled softly.

But as she spoke, Dovefluff had observed Springpaw's reaction carefully, paws shaking. The smile that grew on the young molly's face soon dimmed and feel off in confusion, and it took everything Dove had to finish. Springpaw's eyes fluttered shut, and Dovefluff waited patiently, willing to wait hours if the apprentice needed. Trusting someone to love and protect you, especially after the betrayal and trauma Springpaw had undoubtedly been subjected to by her birth-giver. Personally, Dove wasn't sure if she could do it, if she was in Springpaw's place. To trust someone to care for her and protect her like she was swearing to do for Springpaw was something that Dove had never experienced, and at this point? She was sure that she had missed her chance. To have a mother of her own.

Perhaps that was why she was so adamant to extend her family to children who weren't her own. Because they needed her, and she needed them.

As Springpaw's eyes opened, there were a number of heart wrenching emotions in them. Hope, longing, fear. All were so... real. Raw. And then, the calico began to speak and Dovefluff felt the tightness in her chest and the pain in her heart ease just a bit, to be replaced by the tingling in her nose, alerting her that tears were coming and were inevitable. Springpaw's words brought a warmth in her that she had experienced only once before, when her kits were born, and the queen suppressed her tears the best she could.

Then, the calico paused, and Dovefluff forced back the tears that were coming. Either the "but" was coming, or... the other thing, and honestly? It wouldn't matter if Springpaw accepted or not, because she already knew that she would die for this child, no matter if their bond was solidified by the official adoption or just a strong friendship. But then, the words came, and then the smile on the young molly's face. It all felt unreal. Dovefluff's worries had been nabbing at her. She probably thinks that you're a monstrous ShadowClanner. She'd find you to be an unworthy mother. Why would she trust you, out of everyone? You're broken, you're different, and she will choose better than you. And Dovefluff had almost believed the thoughts, until-

I accept you as my mother.

Springpaw trusted her. Springpaw was granting her the title of mother, the most sacred in the world, and Dovefluff felt... lightheaded with joy. As Springpaw pulled her close for a hug, Dovefluff reached forward and embraced her daughter, holding this precious child close to her. "Of course I will, you'll never have to be alone again, I promise." She would claw her way out of hell if that was what it took to fulfill the promise she made to the apprentice just now, and tears of happiness pooled in her eyes.

Then, she heard four words that equally broke her and healed her shattered heart, and the molly was reminded of her lost children. How never, in her 26 moons, had she ever been told 'I love you'. She'd said it plenty of times, but it was never returned. It was never reciprocated. No matter how desperately she pleaded her parents for love, no matter how she fought for her siblings love, no matter how she had tried over and over to "earn" Darklight's love, she would never be loved in return. Of course, her kits loved her, but they didn't get a chance to love her for her. They loved her because that was what instinct told them, she had never gotten the chance to build the house of love on the foundation of mother and child.

So when Springpaw uttered those four, short words, Dovefluff let out a soft sob of joy, holding her daughter. Her daughter. "I love you too, my daughter. More than anything in the world, and I will always be here for you." Hers. Her daughter. Her daughter to defend and protect from the world, her daughter to watch grow. And she already knew that she would do anything for this kid, to protect her and to keep the vow she had made just now.

[ @ares YESSS I'M SO HAPPYYY ]