RACCOONEAR.

**pxxylo** · #1 October 25th, 2022, 10:20 PM

"I tried to save him, but he was gone before I had the chance to say so long."

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The guilt haunts her forever, the fact that the death of her brother was her fault, but she covered it all up. After wading in sadness for moons, she grew tough. She hid it all, bottled it all up and still does sometimes. She hid it all with a new persona, a brave one, one that has mixed with her old self, to become truly her, all bruises and cuts alight with pride.

BASICS

Raccoonear

Lesbian female

29-30 moons

RiverClan warrior, born n' raised in RC

Mother [Haystep] is missing, her status is unknown.

Father and brother are dead

Theme songs are Hotel by Montell Fish and Oh Ana by Mother Mother.

Quite a bit to unpack here. To cut to the chase, Raccoonear's brother is dead. They were the closest that siblings could be, best friends, twin flames, sister and brother. Raccoonear at a young age was provided with a false sense of security. For her brother at least. She always believed that he was a strong cat, and that if something were to happen he would be able to worm his way out of it somehow, because he always found a way. His main belief during his late kithood was that there's always another way. There was in fact not on that heart-shattering day that he fell off of a cliff.

Raccoonpaw and her brother were playing tag in the forest, they had snuck out to do so. She always went easy on him, so she was pretending to be slow and was a fox-lengths behind him in the chase. They ran and ran, until the cliff came. Her brother was running to fast to stop, and skidded towards the edge. Those few moments felt like eternity to Raccoonpaw, the waterline in her eye swelling as she leapt forward, one paw reaching for her brother.

Thump. I was too late. He's gone, forever. She stayed there at the edge of the cliff for the rest of the day. Despite trying her best to get over it, it wasn't something to... get over. The entire clan somehow found out, it spread like a rumor. The other apprentices teased her for being too slow, too weak, not enough and never will be. She's definitely enough now. Those apprentices are apart of who she is today, they encouraged her to be stronger, faster. Her dad didn't do much to help, he just made it worse. Her mom was being driven nuts by everything that was happening. After a while, Raccoonear actually recovered. She met new cats, she found new coping mechanisms, and found her way back up to the surface. It was tough at first, but now she only thinks fondly of the memories she and her brother shared, and is a much happier and better cat now.

Fly high, Otterkit.

PHYSICAL

Raccoonear is an above average height Manx-American Longhair mix. The base color of her fur is light gray, and the patterning on her fur is a slightly darker cape with stripes extending from it. There are white splatters along her back, paws, ears and tail. Her toetips are a very dark gray, and her eyes are a hypnotically deep blue, like the deep ocean. Her scars are all from border fights, only the one on her back left ankle, stretching from her lower ankle to near her thigh is from her early apprenticeship. One scar sprawls across her face with root-looking bits spreading from the scar. there is also a large claw-raked scar on her lower back.

RELATIONSHIPS

Haystep [mother] | You tried so hard to make me feel better about what happened to Brother, but it never worked. Thank you for trying, mom.

Brother | I'm so sorry. I was too slow, I wasn't strong enough, good enough to save you. I hope you can see me now, honouring you by being the best warrior I can be, to save others like I couldn't for you. Im sorry.

Pikestar [best friend/brother] | What a miracle, that day in Firefly cove was. While that tree stump may be gone now, the memory of that night lives with me forever. You are my best friend, and i see you as a brother. I hope that we can always stay friends, for I truly do appreciate you and all that you have done for me.

Reedlight [friend] | We never talked too much, but I had so much fun connecting with you and picking flowers. it was a magical day, truly.

Raccoonkit [little non-biological twin] | Starclan above, what an adorable kit.

Father | I hate your guts. I know why mom left you, I was the one who suffered. You tried to make my pain worse, instead of trying to help me through Brother's death you destroyed me. Mom was the only pillar keeping me up, if it wasn't for her, and all I had was you, I wouldn't be here right now. When I say i'm here to honour my family, I DO NOT. MEAN. YOU.

FAITH

What if Starclan is just a bit evil? They caused her so much trouble in her past, so what's the point of thinking they're all good? It's not only her, so many other cats go through so much trauma, and yet they still say "Oh, but it's all in Starclan's good faith and the cat's up there's plan!" She believed in Starclan still, but also in Starclan having evil cats up there, and both of the beyond-death worlds being bad. Starclan wasn't all bad, while the Dark Forest was, but Starclan can still have bad and evil cats who cause cats trauma just for them to continue to worship them and call it "their plan". Pathetic, but alright.
[exerpt from "the fish escaped the bowl" with @/Sharkii's fishkit]

HER FATHER

Raccoonear's father was a horrible man. He oppressed Raccoonear, never helped her at all with grieving her brother, he even physically abused her at times on top of endless emotional abuse. he ended up dying when the leader found out about everything that he had done via the medicine cat, Crickethop. she told him first because if how kind he was, how caring he was of mental issues in the clan. Raccoonpaw trusted him to tell the leader all that had happened with no lies, and he did. the next day, Raccoonpaw watched his limp body fall at the private execution. Her mom refused to attend, she still loved him deep down, for the small bit of good deep down in him that was forever trapped from coming out. Raccoonpaw attended, so did Crickethop. Raccoonpaw and her mom agreed to ask Leakstar to give him a painless and quick death, and their wish was granted.