Pick Your Poison! Adder or Mushrooms?

[Dolomedes]

Mushroomkit || Dovekit
@burntToast

Mushroomkit was still kind of frightened from her encounter with Pinekit, but didn't want to remain laying in her nest and thinking about it with no distraction. Just because Pinekit was a bad guy doesn't mean that every kit was, he was probably the only one. Though still the scratch along her cheek was stinging, though she knew the pain was just in her head. An echo of her past attempts to make friends. Making up her mind to try and make a new, better friend, Mushroomkit searched for someone who seemed not too busy to speak to. The cat she landed on was Adderkit, the other kit was older than her, but it's probably fine.

"Hey, hi Adderkit! I'm Mushroomkit, and this is my sister, Dovekit," The russet feline introduced as she motioned to the empty air at her left side with a paw, where Dovekit supposedly was. "I was wondering if we could hang out or something? No play fighting though, last time I did that with someone they hurt me and I had to go to the medicine den." Mushroomkit rambled a bit, not at all secretive about what happened to her though she didn't name any names, maybe she should, make sure that other cats don't get hurt by Pinekit like she had. "What're you up to?"

[burntToast]

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
°˖✿˚⋆|[ Adderkit ]|⋆˚✿˖°
She/her | Shadowclan kit | 5 moons
“I wish I knew where to find my words so I could speak and be heard.”
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
|[28 / 50]|
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The sound of the frigid wind whistling by, dragging fluffs of cold white with it and covering the clearing in a blur of snow was something adderkit had gotten used to. It was a bit cold outside even for her and her thick coat of fur that usually shielded her from the worst of it. Honestly the she kit couldn't say she was too upset about not being able to go outside, she had been looking for an excuse to hide away from all prying eyes. From her siblings. From Mother. From anyone who knew who she was and how much of a failure she was becoming. Missing your apprentice ceremony once was bad enough, missing it twice was just- just--

It's what happened to her. This time she had even been in the meeting but stupid thoughts and irrational fears had made her flee back to the nursery where she belonged. A place adderkit didn't see herself leaving any time soon. So yes, being forced to stay in the nursery didn't bother her too much, she hugged the shadows and stayed out of other kits ways and it was good. the hill! You need to sit on the hill! The sudden thought shouted, drawing all her attention to it. She hadn't gone to the mound on top of the nursery today, it's where she always sat. Everyday like clockwork. She hadn't gone today because it was too cold and she intended to but the thought itched behind her eyes and suddenly she found herself glancing back at the nursery entrance. You have to sit on the hill! If you don't it won't stop snowing! The falling snow was raining outside the exit of the den, and a particularly cold breeze entered the den causing her fur to fluff up. She imagined the snow piling up higher and higher covering the entire camp with everyone buried beneath it. Unrealistic. Time won't move on if you don't!Adderkit rose to her paws. Sit on the hill, even if only for a moment She fluffed up her fur preparing herself for the cold winds outside and started walking forwards. hurry hurry hurry, the hill! The snow! Adderkit picked up her pace, a kit running wasn't all too odd especially in the nursery. There were kits running everywhere- the hill - but adderkit barely ran, she never ran. All she knew was that when she sat on the hill everything was calm and peaceful and Serene. She liked the hill, she would feel better there even though it was cold. Coming to this conclusion she slowed her pace, there was no need to hurry. The brown she kit was just about to exit the den when another kit came into view and confronted her. The she kit was smaller than her like most other kits always were but adderkit knew she must be younger, if she was older she would be an apprentice by now. No other kit stayed a kit as long as adderkit had without a valid reason. The other she kit was russet with white spots, a short tail and a bright smile which adderkit wished she could mimic. This kit- Mushroomkit as she introduced herself was someone Adderkit could call pretty. Adderkit had a hard time calling anything but pretty, there was a beauty to everything and adderkit barely had trouble finding it. Mushroomkit introduced herself as well as her sister dovekit who was...not here? Adderkit squinted at the spot Mushroomkit claimed dovekit was standing. Maybe the kit was very good at hiding in the shadows? Couldn't be because there were no shadows to hide in the direction mushroomkit had pointed. Well that was its own oddity the other oddity however was the fact that Mushroomkit and "Dovekit" had approached her out of every other kit to hang out with. Had they no education? Did they not know who she was? Alas even Adderkit's few on herself changed so she supposed she couldn't quite blame them. At one time she was a proud daughter of Dawnstar! Heir to shadowclans queen. Now she was one of the thirteen kits, the least impressive one with nothing to offer. She never spoke or interacted with anyone for long. If anything she might aswell be a shadow herself. The hill, sit on the hill oh yes, she almost forgot. She was just about to continue on her way before another thought hit her. It would be rude not to respond when Mushroomkit had been so nice to even offer adderkit a little bit of her time and probably sympathy. Sympathy for what? Sympathy for her situation, that she wasn't amounting to anything? That didn't deserve sympathy it deserved scorn. What should she say. Thank you for considering me but you wasting your time? Sorry but I'm not interested in friends. No words even came out when she opened her maw. She swallowed and looked past mushroomkit back at the exit of the den.

"I-If you don't mind the cold then you can come with me" what did that even mean??? Adderkit internally winced as the words left her mouth, they weren't at all like the friendly suggestions she had wanted it to sound like. It sounded more like someone who couldn't Give a damn and that wasn't what Adderkit intended. the hill, the hill! Adderkit drew in a sharp breath before trudging on past mushroomkit and walking out into the cold clearing. The air outside was much colder as expected but adderkit knew it wouldn't bother her too much. Following the path she made for herself onto the mound above the nursery or the "hill" she paced in a small circle on top of it three times before sitting down. Finally she felt relief, sure it was cold but she felt much better now.

( Mushroomkit; @Dolomedes )

[Dolomedes]

Mushroomkit || Dovekit
@burntToast

When Adderkit kind of just stared at them for awhile without saying anything, Mushroomkit almost thought that the brunet was giving her the cold shoulder- or was just flat out ignoring her like most of the clan did to Dovekit, but before she could open her mouth and say something like 'goodbye' and be on her way, Adderkit was finally speaking. Mushroomkit allowed herself to be a little less scared, Adderkit didn't sound the most excitable like Mushroomkit was, she sounded blunt- but caring-loving-stable- Like Dovekit. It was nice, but with Pinekit's actions, the scratch still healing on her cheek, she couldn't just forget that right now.

"I don't mind the cold very much, mama says I have a lot a fur because I was born in Leafbare, but sometimes it still is very chilly. That's why I like more active games, like chase and cat and mouse, but I don't always have a play partner because Dovekit likes quiet games- and she doesn't even play them, she just takes naps. I don't mind, I just like her being around even if we aren't talking all the time." Mushroomkit rambled as she followed the other she-kit outside of the nursery and up a mound that Mushroomkit has always spotted but didn't much interest in. The kit paused, watching as Adderkit settled down at the top of it, circling three times. It was almost like its own game, it seemed Adderkit was slightly less distracted now as well- but maybe that's just Dovekit's head making up details.

"This has a nice view of camp... could I sit next to you at the very top?" Mushroomkit questioned with a tilt of her head, standing half crouched along the ramp of the mound. It wasn't very steep, but the russet she wasn't known for her balance, especially without a proper tail. Dovekit hadn't even attempted, crossing to curl up at the base where the most wind was blocked, and Mushroomkt was pretty sure she heard Dovekit grumble something about the cold but Dovekit hadn't made them stay inside. Flicking a paw across the light dusting of snow that was gathering around them, Mushroomkit watched as an ant-sized avalanche tumbled down as a result.

"Have you ever thought about what it must be like to be a snowflake? It must be a wonderful thing, wouldn't you say?" Rambling was her best skill, even though it mostly landed the kitten in a loop of tangents that tends to bore her conversation partner, well any that weren't Dovekit and even sometimes Dovekit sleeps through her talking rather than listening. "You start as water, and then you fly fly fly all the way up into the clouds- which must be so soft, like a nest made of only feathers- and the cloud turns you into something unique and beautiful.. you get to show off your beauty and then you melt and you do it all over again."

"My mama says that no snowflake is alike, I'm not sure that's true, but I think it's a pretty idea. You remind me of a snowflake, Adderkit, you aren't like any cat I've met before."

[burntToast]

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
°˖✿˚⋆|[ Adderkit ]|⋆˚✿˖°
She/her | Shadowclan kit | 5 moons
“I wish I knew where to find my words so I could speak and be heard.”
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
|[29 / 50]|
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Once seated and less distracted, Adderkit gave herself a moment to process the words from the russet kit. Mushroomkit had said a lot in the small time it took her and Adderkit to get outside the nursery and up onto the mound. The she kit sure did talk a lot, and most of it on her sister that adderkit was quite sure exited or was alive for that matter. The braided tabby cleared some of the snow off the mound, sweeping it off with her tail and watching as it piled up at the bottom. She then patted this cleared spot with her paw, hoping the invitation was recognized by mushroomkit. Okay, now she can process what mushroomkit had said. The russet kit had started by talking about not minding the cold, okay it made sense seeing as similar adderkit herself she also had thick fur. She spoke of being born in leafbare-- was she really that young? And then about liking active games but her sister never played with her and instead tended to sleep. Ah yes Dovekit, Adderkit doesn't remember ever hearing that name before but mushroomkit had referred to her sister enough times to make adderkit believe she must exist.

However adderkit could see any other kit! Was this some sort of game? She didn't get it. She hummed in response as mushroomkit continued to talk. She sure did like talking, about many things it seemed. Adderkit welcomed this, it filled in what would've been uncomfortable silence for she had realized that talking was not the dark tabbies strong suit. In fact it took adderkit ages to even manage to voice the simplest of sentences. She couldn't even imagine being able to say so much in such little time. Did the other she kit never worry about what to say and how to say it? Did she ever think about pronouncing the words wrong or using the incorrect tone? Did she never worry about regretting saying something and being unable to take it back? Those were just a few things that kept adderkit from approaching any conversations unless forced to or allowed to answer with a simple yes or no. Sometimes she tried to think of a response but that is how it stayed, as thoughts and not spoken words.

The question mushroomkit asked her was surprisingly interesting and something adderkit had actually thought about! It wasn't the usual questions or statements that usually revolved around clan status and achievements within the clan but instead an abstract question about one of the many beauties of nature. That got the corners of Adderkit's mouth to quirk up in a small smile. So maybe adderkit wasn't the only one that found herself pondering such questions, observing such things considered unimportant. Mushroomkit seemed to have an understanding of snowflakes that adderkit didn't know and she sat here observing them every day. Her ears angled in mushroomkit's direction as she took in the russet's words. To her snowflakes were the tiniest puffs of clouds, frozen by the cold winds of the sky. When too cold these puffs of clouds would break away and slowly flutter down and down and down. Descending from their high thrones in the sky and becoming one with soft pristine snow beneath her paws. Each snowflake was different, none ever looked the same. Unique in its own little way, always pretty and delicate. However no matter how different and unique they all ended up the same in the end, merging with the snow. Their patterns lost and the traits swallowed and changed form and shape to match their new environment. They were no longer special, no longer different. Just another speck of snow in an ocean of white. Sad really, to lose such beauty.

Dark green eyes focused back on the russet and white she-kit as she tried to respond. She wanted to say she agreed with whoever Mushroomkits mother was, about how every snow flake was different. She wanted to say how she had observed the snow falling from the sky on the first day of leaffall, she wanted to reply to the last comment that Mushroomkit had said. Comparing adderkit to a snowflake. She wasn't sure whether to consider it a compliment or not. Either way, now the sentence seemed right in her mind and she ended up just staring which in itself was worse. What should she ask? Or say?? Mushroomkit should continue talking so Adderkit did have to but it seemed as if the other kit was waiting for a response. Adderkit looked back down at her paws and scratched three lines into the snow, one of this line was a bit shorter than the others so she erased it by wiping snow over it and started again. She repeated this action until she had three lines of equal length and all straight.

"I suppose I'm not" she finally managed to reply, it still didn't sound right and she wished she could've never said it at all but she could just take back words so instead she tried to change the topic. How about dovekit? Dovekit. Dovekit. Dove.

Is dovekit a ghost, I can't see her? No that did sound right. You sister, is she here? No no something else. Dovekit Dovekit dovekit. "is dovekit dead?" That's not what she meant to say. "s-sorry, I meant- uh- I- " three lines, three lines. She scratched three lines Infront of her before continuing. "I meant to say I can't see dovekit"

( Mushroomkit; @Dolomedes )

[Dolomedes]

Mushroomkit | Dovekit
@burntToast

"Oh, thank you!" Mushroomkit shifted forward and sat down on the space that the other kit cleared off. Adderkit was much kinder than Pinekit had ever been. Sure, Mushroomkit was doing much of the talking and this was a strange game but honestly the russet kitten really didn't mind all that much. Dovekit didn't talk really much at all, and that meant that Mushroomkit was used to talking enough for two people. The snow continued to lay a blanket over the clan and it was strange to see how much her clan stuck out in the aesthetic, with all of the dark fur, when she knows that her clan was one of stealth and secret. Even her own fur was on the darker side even though it was more red than full brown like Adderkit's or Dawnstar's.

Her heterochromia eyes widened, first at the fact that Adderkit was speaking at all, having fully expected to not hear anything from the other kit. Then secondly what was said. Mushroomkit shook her head animatedly, waving a paw for good measure, "No no no, she isn't dead! Not at all. She's just quiet, and she isn't very social so most cats don't know her well." At least, that was the conclusion that the kitten has drawn about her sister and her place in the clan. Not to mention that everyone seemed to ignore her existence but Mushroomkit didn't bring that up. "Haha," It was a nervous-ish laugh, "Well, she is shadowclan after all! You know how good we are at hiding when we don't wanna be found. Anyways, what about you? You have siblings too right? What're they like?"

It was strange, attempting to shift the conversation away from Dovekit like it would turn poisonous if left to linger. Though at the same time, it has proven to be like that. For example, with Pinekit. Who now seems to be hunting Mushroomkit just because he's convinced that Dovekit is somehow not real. The russet feline really didn't want that to happen again, so jumping topics it was. Hopefully Adderkit wouldn't mind the sudden change.

[burntToast]

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
°˖✿˚⋆|[ Adderkit ]|⋆˚✿˖°
She/her | Shadowclan kit | 5 moons
“I wish I knew where to find my words so I could speak and be heard.”
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
|[30 / 50]|
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Adderkit knew a deflection when she heard one despite not being in many conversations herself. She heard it many times when listening on other clanmates conversation or when she used it her self to avoid talking to her siblings. Yes she knew it was contradicting, wanting to be closer to her family but purposefully going out of her way to avoid such. It was confusing to her too yet she did it anyway. Anyway if mushroomkit wasn't comfortable with the current topic of the conversation Adderkit would just drop it and move on. Adderkit frowned and mumbled an apology that was barely even audible.

Her siblings? Well she did have siblings. Twelve littermates to be exact and she wasn't quite sure how many others there were. She knew of Lark but she never met the former medicine cat, she had met her daughter who was nice. Adderkit liked her but like the rest of her family, miss Sleepy was out of Adderkit's league. Already achieving greatness. The rest of her littermates were already apprentices and on their way to greatness too, how many moons had it been now? Falling behind, always been behind -- the tabby wrapped her tail around her paws tightly and inhaled the cold air hoping to quiet her thoughts to no prevail. It never worked. Instead she tried to busy herself answering the question, let her mind dwell-- Falling behind, catch up catch up -- on something else. "I u-uh. Yeah I have siblings." darn the stuttering! She scratched three lines over the trio she had already made in the snow, keeping them, then she continued. "Twelve, from my litter at least."

What else, what else. What was the rest of the question? What were they like- what were they like? She wasn't quite sure anymore. She only remembers how her siblings were when they were all still very small but that was a season ago. They were probably different now. " Well um, I'm sure they are..g-great! They are already apprentices after all and well I'm still here- yeah um. The ones that are still here are living up to our mother name, training really hard- I think-- I'm proud of them really! One day I'll-" Catch up, catch up! "-I uh- I'll also be an apprentice..and I'll try my best too....." her claws sank into the snow beneath her paws, her smile pulled into a thin line. It was frustrating really not being able to answer such a simple question. Rushing through it, stumbling over words- NOT KNOWING WHAT TO SAY! It was a question about her! She should know the answer. She should know her own family....but she didn't. Cause she had chosen not to.

( Mushroomkit; @Dolomedes )

[Dolomedes]

Mushroomkit
@burntToast

Mushroomkit didn't mind the stuttering, not at all, somecats just needed an extra moment and she certainly didn't mind waiting for Adderkit. Though what was said did make her a little concerned. It was almost... a very distant way of speaking of your own siblings, like you were talking about strangers. But maybe Adderkit just phrased things differently, and Mushroomkit was looking far too into the words. "Twelve? That's so many! In my litter it was just me and Dovekit." She knew that Dawnstar had quite a few children but she didn't even realize how many that was, and didn't the leader have other litters than Adderkit's? That was kind of crazy.

"I think you'll make a great apprentice! You are very kind and cool, after all." Genuinely and Mushroomkit gave the older kit an affectionate head bump to her shoulder before continuing, daydreaming about what apprenticeship would be like when it was finally time for Mushroomkit to be Mushroompaw. "I haven't actually thought a lot about my apprenticeship. I like learning new things and have received lessons from plenty of adults already, but the idea of fighting scares me." A more solemn tone took her last words as, distantly, a paw was lifted to touch at her cheek. The cut that once laid there has long since healed all the way but she still felt the stinging fear of when she received it.

"I know its not a very Shadowclan thing to say, but I think I'm scared of fighting a little bit..." With a pause, the kit placed her paws to the ground again and turned to look at Adderkit directly, "Can I tell you something? It's not really a secret.. but it almost feels like one anyways." Adderkit was a cat that Mushroomkit wanted as a friend, and friends tell friends secrets. Dovekit was a secret keeper, sure, but it was different. Dovekit was her sister, they were bonded since birth... and Mushroomkit wanted some friends that she made all on her own, and didn't have to stay with her out of family obligation.

[burntToast]

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
°˖✿˚⋆|[ Adderkit ]|⋆˚✿˖°
She/her | Shadowclan kit | 5 moons
“I wish I knew where to find my words so I could speak and be heard.”
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
|[31 / 50]|
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Mushroomkit didn't seem to mind her stuttering or poorly structured replies, that or she was showing that she minded. The younger kit went to exclaim how crazy it was to have twelve littermates. Adderkit would have corrected her and told how many of them had gone missing and how it wasn't fun being one in thirteen. How it made her feel oh so insignificant, but ofcourse she didn't. Then came the compliment that adderkit wasn't to sure what she had done to deserve it? Maybe it was because she was one of Dawnstar's kits, some kits tended to act differently around those related to the leader. That must be the reason. Even so she didn't see how being kind would benefit her in anyway when she was an apprentice, she couldn't be kind in battle against and enemy clan, when slaughtering an innocent critter during hunting or when plucking a plant out of the ground when it had spent so many mornings nights growing into a flower that just happened to be used for medical purpose. In summary, kindness might aswell be a weakness. As for being cool? She didn't understand how she gave that impression on Mushroomkit because she was far from it. However she bit her tongue and did not comment, instead she "accepted" the compliment with a small smile. she did slightly tense at the sudden contact but she accepted that easier then she had with the compliment.

Mushroomkit mentioned how she had already been taking part in those lessons for kits, Adderkit had thought about going to a few but had really stuck through it much to her regret later. Seems even little mushroomkit was a few pawsteps ahead of her. Or maybe not? The younger she kit admitted to not liking combat which in itself was a bad thing. Adderkit wasn't even sure how to comfort her friend- friend? Companion. Uh acquaintance. She wouldn't lie, combat was one of shadowclans main things, mushroomkit's fear for it would have to vanish in order for her to be a proper Shadowclan warrior. The braided tabby noted the scar along the kits cheek and came to the conclusion she must have acquired it during a rough duel. Adderkit was about to ask how she had gotten it but mushroomkit filled the brief silence with her next words.

Once again, adderkit was completely sure what she had done to earn enough trust for mushroomkit to share a "secret" with her. Maybe the kit already saw her as a friend? A friend imagine that, one could only hope. "I- uh yeah sure. I wont- you secret is safe with me" she spoke slowly, hoping the sincerity came through in her tone. If this was an opportunity to make an actual friend-- an actual connection in her clan! Adderkit wasnt going to mess up.

( Mushroomkit; @Dolomedes )

[Dolomedes]

Mushroomkit + Dovekit
@burntToast

"I umm... before I wasn't scared of fighting, I understood it was just what it was like to be warrior.. but then I was playing a game-" The kitten paused, her voice being more tight than it had been moments before but she wasn't going to cry... well actually, maybe she would cry a little bit but not a lot. Dovekit already calls her a cry baby she doesn't need her new friend thinking that of her as well. "Well, I thought it was a game.. but then he hurt me. He slashed right under my eye and then when Tinywolf came over tried to say I hurt him first and that he pushed me into thorns in self defensee..." The spotted feline blinked a couple of times, sniffing and bringing one of her paws to wipe her eyes before any tears fell from her shimmering eyes.

"He follows me around now, I'm scared of him. He's why I'm afraid. If my own clan can just hurt me and scare me like that.. I don't think I'm brave enough to face other clans." She looked away from Adderkit and up at the sky, watching what would be one of the final snows of the leafbare season, each snowflake fluttering down and joining the rest of them. Do snowflakes, too, have ideas of groups and clans? Do they fight with each other as they melt? That was a silly thought, but Mushroomkit was a silly cat. With another sniff, the kitten shook her head a bit to herself, "But that's silly right! There's so many strong warriors, and when I'm older, I'll be a strong warrior too. Hopefully I'll be braver then." She fell silent after that. It really was a hope that Mushroomkit had for the future, even as she is frightened everytime she sees a light colored pelt out of the corner of her eye.