[Pending] Foggymask

[jay]

FOGGYMASK
HE/HIM | PURRKS: MIND READER | DEMIROMANTIC | 36 MOONS IN LIFE

Ok. He knew damn well why he had to go back, and he would fight tooth and claw to do so. He had to get back to his son. He had to.

"I know I'm not any different from the other cats who want to go back. 'I'll be the best warrior ever' this and 'I'll be super loyal' that. I'm not going to spend my time whining about my mistakes, saying I'll do better. I'll tell you straight what I did wrong. I know that I shouldn't have gone to the border, let alone started a conversation with a RiverClan cat. I could plead and beg that I was going to kill her afterwards, blah blah blah. Yeah, sure, I'd taken a liking to her, but that wouldn't get in the way of my loyalty. Normally, I would have sent her off with warning not to come back here and a couple scratches. But I was desperate for someone. I lost my best friend, I lost my mentor, my mom. My father isn't even worth dirt. I haven't had anyone in my life since I was a kit.

I know what I did wrong, and I know how much it cost me. It cost me my goddamn life. I chose death over shame, being shunned from ShadowClan. If I came back, it would be nice to go back to ShadowClan, but I don't want to go back for them. I want to go back for my son. He has nobody left. I'm gone, his mother's gone, his sister's gone, his best friend gone. He needs someone in his life to support him when things go wrong. You might say that I can just give him support through dreams, and sure, I could, but he needs more than a dream. He needs someone to lean on, a shoulder to cry on. I know firsthand how painful it is to be alone. I don't want my son to grow up like I did. He needs to be different. He can't be alone."

There. He spewed out his guts, his deepest regrets, his deepest secrets and pains. He'd covered everything he needed to, gave answers to questions that hadn't been asked. And if they somehow came up with something else, then damn. He'd say it all again, he'd do it better than anyone before him.

@/Wardens

[Minku]

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Barkblaze
Ancient Windclan Medicine Cat. He/Him
No purrks

[ @otter ]
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The former medicine cat stepped out, looking at the cat that got himself executed in life, eyes narrowing. Even if he did admit his mistakes, it was one he should've known would cost him from the start "Losing the cats around you is no excuse. How many other cats do you have in your clan? But instead you chose a fish” destroying his already worsened reputation. "death was your choice, and you accepted it. Even if you had your son to worry about. Even if you know your death would hurt him” if he can't handle the shame and rather had death, there was no promises he won't do the same as soon as he's put in a similar position again. Another life wasted. Barkblaze knew Dawnstar would never accept him back into her clan if he tried to join. He doubts any clan would accept him "how do even you plan on getting back to your son? How do you plan on being there for him when the chances of meeting him again are slim?" The amount of cats that suffered from their parent's actions is not easy to count. But there won't be any use sending back a cat that wouldn't be able to fulfill their promise