and i don't know where to begin

[taillow]

Cindersky - Former ThunderClan Leader
She/her | Worldweaver T3

It was time. She had spent far too much time away, much more than she would've liked. But Cindersky was nothing if not patient. She could tell that there were other things to tend to, other tasks that required the attention of the cat she watched from the stars nearly every day. Not for the first time she found herself grateful for Jaystride's intervention in her attempt to be revived. It had been a foolish idea, one that she hadn't realized the severity of until she'd had some time by herself to process it.

She was thankful she still resided in the stars, if for nothing else than to have the ability to have her eyes on the leader most of the time. She had watched as she dealt with everything life threw at her; ShadowClan testing their borders, RiverClan growing more confident than they should, even WindClan trying to blame them for the death of an apprentice. She saw how the leader carried it and how she refused to sit or slow down.

Well, tonight, that's exactly what would happen. There would be no nightmares, no sleepless nights. Instead Cindersky had come to stand at the edge of Moonfall Lake with the gentle breeze around her, stars glittering in the sky, and greenleaf springing up all around. From where she was on the bank the silver spotted leader offered the same warm, kind smile she had always given Bumblestar as the leader materialized before her, ever since she'd been an apprentice. "Bumblestar." There was a weight behind the way she said the leader's name, almost as if there were more words she wanted to say. But for now... "Come, I want to show you something." And with that the silver bengal began to turn, ready to head off once the leader joined her side.

[ @dino. ]

[dino.]

Bumblestar was really starting to hate this lake. It felt like a hassle every time she was here, life given or not. When she opened her eyes after having been lulled into a rare bit of sleep, and the first thing she saw was the water lapping at her paws, she couldn't hold in the frustrated exhale.

Then she looked up.

The last time she had seen Cindersky, it had been to receive an omen regarding the illness in WindClan. The exact conversation evaded her, but Bumblestar was pretty sure she had been less than kind. Her former mentor had been on her mind a bit more than usual since then - more then Bumblestar would have liked.

So seeing her here, now, after so much had happened since their last interaction? It brought her a sort of whiplash. In the past, she might have snarled, bared her teeth, sneered chilling words. But nothing came to her. The familiar smile Cindersky gave her made it all die in her throat.

Swallowing thickly, she waded out of the water and trotted up the bank to follow Cindersky.

[ @taillow ]

[taillow]

CINDERSKY
she/her | former thunderclan leader | starclan spirit

Silence fell around the two as Cindersky lead the ThunderClan leader away from the pond and through the territory of StarClan. It was a peaceful day with the sun glittering high in the sky and birds floating high above. Fluffy clouds dotted the air and a gentle breeze billowed by them. The gray dappled she-cat kept walking, keeping a solid pace that, while consistent, wasn't fast or quick; the former ThunderClan leader planned to take her time with this interaction. Up here, that was all they had, really.

As they walked, to the right of them appeared to be two ghostly figures; one was smaller, pale-furred with beige markings and fierce green eyes - the other was a bigger silver cat with soft blue eyes. They were facing each other; the smaller had a scowl on their face while the bigger one appeared patient and spoke in quiet, incoherent words. There was indignation swirling between them, a silent challenge posed from the smaller to the bigger. And if one listened close enough, gentle words could be heard along the breeze. . .

"You cannot get better by pacing the clearing and wishing for it. It will take actual work if you want to make ShadowClan see that you are not to be trifled with."

Whether or not Bumblestar heard it was of no concern to Cindersky, who made no notion of having seen or heard it. Instead she continued forward, though a soft smile was growing on her face as she continued. The scenery around them at first remained sunny and soft, but soon enough melted into night fall. The grass underpaw turned from soft and springy into the damp caress of wet sand. The smell of saltwater reached the two while the light of the full moon illuminated them. Seastones rose up in the distance and the cats gathered were a jumbled blur. Most of them were unrecognizable, but on the stones themselves was one distinguishable cat - if studied close enough. The same pale coat, beige markings of the smaller cat from before. There was a gleam there in brilliant green eyes that cut through the darkness. . .

"You and your lazy toadbutts are freakin' pathetic! Stars, I can't ever believe I was afraid of you lot! Don't trip on your own tails on your way out of OUR camp! HA!"

In the midst of the hum of distorted chatter, the words rang softly across the breeze before fading out along with the sight of the stones, the sand, and the water itself. The darkness seemed to hug the pelts of both Cindersky and Bumblestar as the former leader didn't stop her pace and instead glanced over her shoulder and offered a soft smile. "Not much further now," she murmured softly, though despite their hushed tone they seemed to carry to Bumblestar from where she was - whether it was a little behind or right beside her.

The slow, gradual disappearance of the moon gave way to a brilliant dawn lighting shooting through the forest they now walked through. Little golden glows hung in the air as the familiar territory of Firefly Cove melted into view. Though as they walked the flash of ghostly claws and cats seemed to dart in front of them - and even through them. Battle ensued all around as cats were locked into fight. Cindersky chuckled to herself quietly as her face left the path ahead to focus on the same pale-furred smaller cat from the last two misty images. Despite the calamity around them the bigger silver cat was shaking their head, blue eyes disapproving as they locked onto the fierce green eyes. Eventually the smaller cat dropped the scruff of a darker cat - but not without a muttered threat.

"...You better be grateful. 'Cause I'd have gladly tucked you away somewhere secret and let RiverClan look for you themselves, and I wouldn't have cared if they'd found you or not."

Cindersky didn't stop despite her chuckle and kept pushing on, leaving the scene and the ghostly battle behind. It all soon vanished as the scenes before it, and around them their surroundings changed yet again. The foggy replica of ThunderClan's old camp came into view, and the same bigger silver cat from before now stood off to the side of the pale-furred beige, green-eyed cat. A stark change from the last version, this one seemed to hold themselves higher. Green eyes shone more brightly and there almost seemed to be a fire outlining their pelt. Before them stood a slender black cat who, though held no real recognizable features, would be someone her companion would know from first glance.

"From this moment forth, you will be known as Bumblebreak. ThunderClan honors your passion and drive to breaking the cycle of those who've come before you, and we welcome you as a full warrior of the Clan."

Almost as if on cue, the whole territory around them glowed in a shimmering golden light. It cast over everything, washing everything in a soothing feeling. Everything felt calm, and yet crashing through like a riptide was Clan pride. It battered the space around them as strong as an ocean wave. It ruffled Cindersky's pelt like the wind as it passed around both of them. Cindersky purred and leaned into it, tilting her head up as the wind brushed her whiskers back. The faintest smell of the forested home they both new grew stronger as they continued.

The golden light seemed to die down a bit, melting into soft pinks, blues, and whites. The pristine colors settled around the scene of the inside of a den, and a single nest in which the bigger silver cat lay in. Tucked at her side was the smaller pale-furred beige cat, green eyes starting to close as their jaw parted in a yawn. From behind them the silver cat purred and grinned, lying their chin eventually on the flank of the smaller cat, a soft sight leaving them while their eyes fluttered closed.

"Now, I see not only a fierce and dependable ThunderClan warrior, but a formidable she-cat who is willing to do whatever it takes to face the hard challenges in her life and overcome them. . ."

". . .I am proud of you, Bumblebreak."

Cindersky smiled softly at the scene, bobbed tail flicking as she slowed her pace a bit to take it in (and perhaps allow her companion the time to reminisce as Cindersky herself often did. It lingered for a moment, briefly, before floating away like mist. The feeling stayed though - of safety, and calmness. . .

Soon the warmth of the feeling faded with the color until eventually the golden light died. The lush green color of the forest came back, and with it the darkening of a once blue sky. A somber feeling seemed to replace the joy that had once floated freely, gray tendrils sucking the air from space around them. A blur of cats gave way to focus on the bigger silver cat, lying on the ground with the pale-furred beige cat beside them. The pain was strong enough to cause Cindersky to halt. Her features twisted momentarily, whiskers twitching, before she dipped her head and veered off to the side. The scene would jerk around them, the ground shifting underpaw a bit. Storm clouds seemed to gather over head and the air crackled with tension as Cindersky hurried her paws, the path ahead of them seeming to be covered in fog. It was thick and all-consuming, nearly choking them - until it parted back as if blown away by a rush of air. The swift motion revealed the scene of the bigger silver cat and another golden spotted cat. There was an air of mourning that blanketed them now as the silver cat seemed to slow in breathing. There were words being whispered to her from the golden spotted cat, but they couldn't be heard. But as the silver cat took in a shuddering breath, however, the soft murmurs came of a goodbye... a goodbye that the leader beside her had never gotten to hear. . .

"Tell her... I am so proud... of the warrior she's become. And that letting others in... will never be a sign of weakness. There were so many days... where her strength kept me going. I love her... like she's my own daughter..."

The words and their wight lingered long after they had been spoken. There was an air of calm now, and here Cindersky felt almost weightless. It was quiet - so quiet one could hear a pine needle fall in the middle of the forest. Cindersky closed her eyes and took a soft breath in.

Soon enough the world around them changed again. A beautiful, sun-lit clearing dotted with tiny flowers. Most of them were violets - Cindersky smiled at this as she glanced to Bumblestar. Around them greenleaf sprung to life with the birds chirping up above and squirrle chittering away near trees. "I am glad to see you, Bumblestar." Finally breaking the silence, the silver spotted cat turned to fully face the leader. "I know the last time we spoke, it was not under the best of circumstances. There was much more I wish I could have told you, but it was just not the right time." She tilted her head to the side and added, "...But I am here now. I thought we could catch up, if you would like." An invitation, one that Cindersky extended with no expectation of either answer. Her blue eyes blinked warmly towards the ThunderClan leader.

[ Bumblebreak - @dino. ]

[dino.]

Wordlessly, Bumblestar followed. The purpose of this visit wasn’t yet made clear, and she wondered if it was an omen, a vision, something that might be beneficial. She wasn’t expecting a trip down memory lane. The first ghostly memory made her steps falter. That seemed… so far away now. She’d almost forgotten it, and if she were to be honest, she couldn’t see herself this way anymore. Hopeless, angry, hateful with the world - it’s a far cry from her current state. She knew she had gotten better, and knew she was wiser for it, but she had to wonder if Cindersky approved of what she’d done to get there.

The sudden dampness of the ground pulled her from her thoughts, and she swiveled her head to see that the environment had shifted, from familiar grass to wet sand and the scent of the sea. Her eyes locked on the shimmering mirage that was the Seastones and their blurry inhabitants. She had forced her way up those stones with the others to show the rest that ThunderClan wasn’t weak or dying or dying. And it had worked, because that had been the last straw for ShadowClan, and she remembered so vividly the satisfaction that had warmed her veins, even if it had been short-lived with the events that had followed. It was the same place she could rightfully stand upon now, knowing she had earned it. Her whiskers twitched at the shout that faded into the dark, along with the Seastones themselves.

Firefly Cove. Ghostly images of hurried warriors were her only hint of what this memory held, but she realized it quickly: the retaking of Firefly Cove after moons of it being held hostage by the fish. And Snowleap. Pikestar? She wasn’t sure where he had ended up after his leadership, but she did remember the scorching anger that had ripped through her during that fight, so much so that she would have succeeded in dragging the former RiverClan leader away had Cindersky not intervened. Her ire for RiverClan still burned just as bright, and her heart still wished she had gotten away with it; her head knew now that it would have done them no good at all. She watched her younger self drop the tom’s scruff under Cindersky’s disappointed stare. Then Cindersky’s chuckle reached her ears from a few pawsteps away, and she realized she was falling behind. She quickened her pace to catch up, allowing the scene of the battle to fade out.

It was replaced by the old clearing, the one that now sat in ruins, its sacred tree bent to forces far more powerful. But it clearly still held onto memories, and as soft golden light rushed over every inch of what was visible, Bumblestar allowed herself to bask in it, standing a little straighter at the sound of her warrior name. That felt so long ago, too, though unlike the other memory, all she felt still was pride. Seeing Jaystride like this again pushed grief through her chest, but at least now she knew where he had ended up, and that he was still looking out for her.

A sense of peace settled over her with the shifting of the light. Bumblestar remembered this far more clearly than all the rest; the anxiety that had come before she laid her soul bare, and the crushing relief when her world hadn’t come crumbling down around her. Cindersky had been one of the first to accept her. She had given her much-needed strength to keep going, and it had taken some time to admit it, but it had been the start of Bumblestar considering Cindersky to be something more than just another warrior. She wanted to linger on this for as long as possible, and only began to move again when the moment faded.

The next was quieter, until it wasn’t. Bumblestar stumbled to avoid smacking right into Cindersky as the older warrior halted with the turning of the sky, now dark and foreboding. Then Cindersky veered suddenly, and Bumblestar let a startled, “Wait-” slip from her jaws before she hurried after her.

And she quickly saw why the older warrior had stopped so suddenly. Bumblestar’s attention snapped to the scene that unfolded in front of them. Of Cindersky and Nectarflame, one she had never gotten to see, which she mourned just as much as she was grateful for.

Tears stung her eyes and the back of her throat burned. The words whispered into the air were not familiar, the sentiment not something that had ever been repeated to her, but Bumblestar could easily piece together when they had been said. When the scenery shifted once more, she found herself staring at the now-empty spot amongst the flowers, tears slipping down her muzzle.

Her eyes shifted slowly back to Cindersky. She had been battling conflicting emotions for such a long time: frustration with how her leadership had gone, and wishing more had been done, while also missing her so, so terribly that it ached if she would ever think about it. So she just tried not to. Cindersky had meant something to her beyond just a leader or a role model. Bumblestar had thought the world of her - STILL thought the world of her - and to hear that her feelings were reciprocated was… well, she didn’t think she had the words for it.

Her paws were shaky as she stepped forward, Cindersky’s voice floating past her, and let the top of her head press against the older warrior’s chest. Everything she had had to endure up to this point wanted to crash down onto her, and she just wanted to collapse into the gray cat in front of her. “I’ve missed you,” she whispered hoarsely.

[ @taillow ]