heart of glass, minds of stone

[Ziera]

// @Zero (title inspo > lyrics from the song lovely)

Stormtalon hadn’t spoken with his little sister since that meeting. Avoiding it wasn’t doing anyone any favors—least of all, his chances of fixing Iris’ perception of him as family not to be ashamed of or shrink from. A pit formed in his stomach at the memory of her running; Iris was just a kit. Stormtalon wished he could’ve kept her a child a while longer, wished she never heard Plumstorm’s acid-lined words or glimpsed death, but wishes were worth less than nothing in the end.

Each time Storm tried to protect innocence it backfired. Brightpaw died and Iriskit saw it. Now Iris knew Kestrelstar asked her brother to kill in cold blood. How could a kit of five moons withstand the weight of realities that shattered him?

It was his first time being in the nursery since Iris’ nightmare, the tom’s shoulders only aching a little as he dipped through the entrance. Stormtalon scanned the small nests for another pair of green eyes, ones growing more familiar to him each day—the kit who both gave him something to fight for and sunk his paws in guilt.

“Iriskit. I think...we should talk.”

[Zero]

- @Ziera

Iriskit was in her nest, curled into a ball, her eyes closed - mostly dozing. However, she seemed to sense Stormtalon's presence immediately when he entered the nursery, one green eye blinking open to peer at him as he approached.

There he was. It was time.

She thought she'd be calm, facing him for the first time since the meeting, but was surprised by the rise of anger she felt immediately upon seeing him. She rose to a sitting position as he stopped in front of her, her ears tipping backward and her green eyes blazing. The kitten couldn't pinpoint the exact reason for the anger, likely a multitude of things - some justified, others not. Somehow she managed to contain that anger in that tiny body of hers, her lips pressed firmly shut. He should be thankful he had given her time to process and that she'd talked to Morningpaw, otherwise she wouldn't have done so well.

She cut to the chase, not dawdling. "Do you have an explanation for me?" It was probably the main mystery she hadn't been able to figure out - she had guesses but no answers.

[Ziera]

// @Zero

Inside the nursery was hardly an appropriate place to have this conversation. Leaf-green eyes shifted about the space, betraying a hint of hesitation. No words left his mouth. Instead Stormtalon nodded his head toward the clearing, backed out of the sanctuary for RiverClan’s young, and picked another spot to have it out with his spitfire of a little sister.

Stars…she really was nothing like Brightpaw (save for the kindness and naivety). Iriskit was too much like himself, and for the first time since that horrible meeting, Stormtalon considered the possibility she might never want to speak with him again. They were stubborn like that, Iris and Storm. They remembered wrongs and those who had wronged them.

Do you have an explanation for me, she asked. Stormtalon planted his paws in the dirt. His fur lay flat, and he gazed into Iriskit’s eyes without wavering, voice even: “If by explanation you mean excuse, no. I don’t have an excuse. What I did was reprehensible and I take full responsibility.”

What else was there to say? Iris couldn’t have expected him to defend it, although perhaps she thought he would accuse their leader of forcing his claws. Plumstorm said as much: I didn't strive to become what you made of me. Those words echoed in his head since they escaped her mouth in an endless loop, and in weak moments he could almost pretend it true, but no. Stormtalon knew he couldn’t copy the sentiment. The Thunderclan cats he encountered that night of pelting rain deserved to live. Storm refused to put guilt belonging to himself on Kestrelstar; his once upon another time friend had enough guilt of his own.

“If…” Stormtalon paused, unsure how of to bring the other things up in actual words. Things that stayed in his head until circumstances grew desperate enough for him to dig them up. “If you want to know I regret it, I do. If you want to know Kestrelstar approached me for the—mission—only hours after I buried Brightpaw, the same day we discovered his body, that’s what happened.”

He had been...cold. Delirious. Those memories felt like a nightmare, each event featured so jarringly horrible it must have been his subconscious spinning dark fantasies, right? No other plausible explanation existed. It couldn't be real. But it was. Brightpaw and Smudgepaw’s blood stained his claws that night.

As a matter of fact - Iris knew. She was there, and Storm realized belatedly (perhaps with a hint of fascination) that his paws trembled ever so slightly at the thought. “You…remember that day don’t you.”

[Zero]

- @Ziera

Iriskit seemed to harden as they gazed into each other's eyes. The anger reared its head once more as Stormtalon gave his answer. Was that supposed to make her feel better? That he took responsibility for what he'd done? Because it didn't. Somewhere deep inside her, she had wished he'd had an excuse. Something that would have allowed her to at least start to forgive him. The problem was that there was rarely a justifiable excuse for murder if any at all.

Iriskit seemed to deflate almost at once, flinching instinctively as Stormtalon continued. Brightpaw. Those lifeless blue eyes. His bloodied body. Those images forever burned into her brain. Bile crawled up the back of her throat at his words. Sick to her stomach, Iriskit nodded her head. Of course, she remembered that day.

"I waited for you." Ris mewed softly, slowly. "...that night." He hadn't come. She'd sat alone, watching the rain wash away Brightpaw's blood, taking her tears with it. I needed you. "I..." The words refused to leave her mouth. He couldn't have known. It was partly her own fault for not seeking him out. They'd both been a mess. "You should've come to me." She meowed, tears blurring her gaze. "Family members are supposed to rely on each other, aren't they?"