Dreams of a disbeliever and a ghost [Private]

[Rani]

Dont blush, dont blush, for gods sake youre a fully named medicine cat Snakeheart you dont just loose your head just because a pretty molly was putting her paw and head on your chest. It doesnt mean anything she's just demonstrating a healing technique! Ruthlessly shoving down any outward signs of the tom internally panicking Snakeheart nodded half mindedly trying to take note of the information through his distraction. "S-sure thanks for the information about that Ill check out those groups when I wake." He was acting like an idiot kill him now please. It would be kind of awkward repeating the movements Cricketpaw just did on his clanmates though, Snakeheart just generally wasnt a touchy cat to those he wasnt close with.

"I suppose they have some use then and at least I know how to use them if needed. For the record Im still skeptical though, even if I decide to keep it in stock. The poison thing could be very useful though, I already have had one idiot come in whos eaten deathberries. I managed to save them by scooping the berries from their throat and driving them to puke but tansy might've helped them afterwards."
The incident taught him about the poisoned berries though and Snakeheart had lots of ideas for that little berry, plans that probably werent suitable for a medicine cat to have but the tom was far from typical. The only healing application he could think of was making it so the young skinny tom would never have to bite through a slowly dying clanmates spine again anyway. In warfare the applications were more endless.

"Right Gekoleaf was your supposed mentor, interesting name at least they seemed... competent? At least so not like Sparrowskip."
Snakehearts disbelief made most of him trying to learn about the mollys 'life' pointless but.... It wasnt unpleasant. Cricketpaws voice and way of speaking was (internally in a way he'd never admit) nice. Besides the young tom was rather curious what strange details his mind would conjure about the molly's life. "Who was your father anyway? For the life of me I cant really imagine what the cat who raised you would be like." Parents were everything and Snakeheart was a tiny angry copy of Foxblaze at times and he only had her, so who had raised Cricketpaw?
@spade

[spade]

As the awkwardness seemed to settle over them a bit, Cricketpaw just laughed, melodic and soft. She could feel the heat wafting off Snakeheart from being that close to him, though she had made no comment on it. It was... cute to her, and if she was being honest she was quite enjoying his company. Maybe it was because he was starting to fill a whole in her heart that Daydream had left when they had vanished... they'd never spoken their feelings to each other, either while alive or dead, but Cricketpaw was certain they were there.

At least there was no harm in a small little crush, right? She was dead, after all. No trouble could come from that.

"Deathberries..." It wasn't a herb she had been specifically taught, but Cricketpaw knew of it's uses. They had always scared her when alive, preferring to not even go near them and let Geckoleaf handle collecting them. But she supposed... Snakeheart could be right. They were useful when needing to put a Clanmate out of their misery...

At the mention of her mentor, Cricketpaw's whole body seemed to light up as she turned to nod at Snakeheart. "She was the best. Served as RiverClan's medicine cat for many moons. I... well, my mother wasn't exactly part of my life so she became a stand in for me. Really helped me not only grow in my training but also into who I am today." Memories of the sweet, loving medicine cat filled her mind as the bengal smiled as the thought.

Laughing a bit as the memory of her mentor was replaced by that of her father, Cricketpaw let out a sigh. "His name was Russetstar. He was leader of RiverClan for a brief period of time - led the Clan back to glory after the second Evil Era in which a group of... rather dark cats took over." She recalled how Bucknight had come and gone, having a tight grip on the Clan. "He was wonderful. A little naive at times, but his heart was always in the right place. Though, I'm not sure if anyone alive recalls him."

It was a long, forgotten part of RiverClan's history, washed away with the ever changing tides of leadership. Looking to Snakeheart, she gave a soft smile. "I'm positive you two would've gotten along though. He loved everyone in RiverClan, even the grumpy ones." With a wink, Cricketpaw nudged her companion ever so slightly with one paw.

// @Rani

[Rani]

God her laughing did NOT HELP. HE WAS STILL BLUSHING LIKE A MANIAC AND IT WAS GETTING WORSE. This was a disaster.

At least she moved on to other topics quickly enough.
It was interesting to hear about past cats even if they likely werent real and the foreignness of the name Geckoleaf twitches his ears the tom reflecting he hadnt ever heard of a name like that before. It was kinda.... enviable that Cricketpaw had such a good relationship with her mentor and Snakeheart felt a zing of understanding of the feeling of having a mother figure who taught all herb knowledge she knew. Coldamber had done that for him and the tom was ever grateful and connected even through loss. He did also have Foxblaze where she did not but that only made him more aware of how lucky he was there....

Russetstar though. If he was to take Cricketpaws words as reality that was pretty big, she was both the medicine cat apprentice and the daughter of the leader in her tom and that seemed important. Important like the evil era, a term the tom was certain he'd heard before... That. That was an event that really happened want it, the medicine cat had heard bits as a kit. Would they line up though?
"I dont personally remember his name but Im hardly good at old history, I think we've both established that. Still he sounds nice Im glad you had him through the... Evil Era? Distinctive name it doesnt sound pleasant at all... I wont ask more if its too painful but sometimes talking does help."
It helped Snakeheart at least, to talk to his mom when he needed to went but that was him and he also had a bad habit of bottling things up. Which route Cricketpaw would take he couldnt really predict.

"Did you ever have to use any herbs to save or help Geckoleaf or just your father? Ive always found it odd that medicine cats are always expected to be the ones to deal with so many injuries and illnesses and theres never any talk of us getting hurt or sick and who heals us in that case.... Seems a double standard."

@spade (sorry not my best work lol)

[spade]

It wasn't that she preferred to not talk about it - enough time had elapsed that the wound wasn't as sore anymore - but Cricketpaw's memory of the time was breaking off piece by piece each day. She supposed it's what happened, given that she'd been dead for quite some time now. Stars in her fur losing a bit of their sparkle wasn't the only change, she suspected, though that was a topic for a different day, and with a different cat. For now, she'd enjoy the time she had with Snakeheart.

"I was... distracted for most of it," Cricketpaw began, knowing that any memories she tried to reel in would be tainted with the fact that she had spent a majority of her time in death searching for Geckoleaf, Northwind, and Daydream. Her father and RiverClan's progression through the dark time was a back burner item, only garnering attention from her when her paws ached too bad to continue her search. "From what I recall, my dad did an excellent job leading, and it soon passed down to Fallenstar, and then to Lionstar - now Lionstorm, who you know currently today."

Moving onto the topic of her mentor and father in the medicine den setting, Cricketpaw shook her head. "If Geckoleaf ever was sick, she kept it hidden pretty well," she mused, racking her brain as she tried to recall a time when she had taken care of her mentor and not the other way around. Nothing came to her - understandably, as she had been quite young during her time.

Inquisitive yet concerned eyes moved to Snakeheart though, and Cricketpaw offered another smile to him. "It's okay to ask for help you know," she purred, nodding a bit. "It doesn't make you weak, or any less of a medicine cat. That's what your Clan is there for; to help, even in the darkest of times."

// @Rani [ wooo a month later i get a reply out! so sorry ty for patience ]

[Rani]

It was strange to hear Cricketpaw talking about the distant past as if it was real as if she was there and connected to the events when she only really existed in Snakehearts mind. She couldnt really have existed so long ago but.... Snakeheart had his doubts as much as it tore his beliefs appart and tormented his thoughts. Whether he faintly believed Cricketpaw had really lived so long ago or if he could start to believe she was a real starclan cat talking to him through his dreams he wasn't sure. He was refusing to think about it too deeply. Thinking on it too much would only create more chaos in his mind. Snakeheart had enough of that with clan life already.

Half lost in thought over how the life Cricketpaw described mustve been like the tom mind unintentionally trailed off getting lost just gazing at the molly like an idiot. She was... Really pretty honestly her dappled spotted fur shining in the warm sun as they sat in the pretty clearing. It suited her, this perfect untouched place, in Snakehearts mind the soft greens and blues highlighting her golden brown fur and making her eyes pop. The medicine cat wished she was real so badly in that moment, that they could talk and spend time like this in the real word not bound by the fleeting nature of dreams. Perhaps it was for the best though, life was dangerous and Snakeheart was still the medicine cat for all the joy he felt here it might only be misery should it be real.

Snapped out of his thoughts by Cricketpaw changing subjects the tom flushed as she smiled at him and purred desperately hoping she hadnt caught him staring like he was brain dead as he tried to stutter out a reply.
"U-uh y-yeah yeah I can rely on Riverclan and stuff, its us against the other clans and all the dangers of the world right? Though I may not ask for help often I do sometimes with some cats.... I asked you for help didnt I? To teach me herbs I didnt know to help the clan..."
He suddenly felt shy looking down paws fidgeting with the glass avoiding Cricketpaws gaze and her striking blue eyes as his ears just refused to stop flushing. This was all so embarrassing he was being soft and too sweet like some of his more fluff brained clanmates he usually ended up scolding (this was a mess he hated it). He needed to turn this back to business before he said something else.

"S-so on that matter any more herbs you think might be useful while we still have time! The knowledge might come in handy sometime soon who knows?"
And please dont purr again he might actually die from the embarrassment this time.

(sorry short ish reply lets do snake learning one more herb before the dream ends so we can move on to cricket checking up on snake post battle) @spade

[spade]

That was one perk of being dead; though Cricketpaw wasn't as observant in her living life, here it was hard to not notice certain things. Subtracting the distraction of the living world allowed her to focus more clearly on body language - certain ticks, a flick or an ear or twitch of a tail. She wasn't blind to Snakeheart's thoughtful studying of her, and in fact it stirred a long-forgotten feeling within her of warmth.

She remembered feeling the same thing around Daydream, when they had still both been alive. A fleeting emotion, one that arrived unexpectedly and left too soon.

Regardless, the former medicine cat apprentice decided to not point it out, and instead chuckled at his position on how these dreams had started. "If I recall right," she replied, rising to her paws and stretching her legs, "you were pretty resistant to this whole dream thing. Until it worked for you in the real world, right?" A knowing look gleamed in the depths of her blue eyes, though she carried on before Snakeheart could really answer.

Head tipping to the side, she let her gaze wander across the sunlit field. So far there had been burdock root and burnet, dandelion and tansy.... Ah! "Chamomile," Cricketpaw decided, watching as a white petaled flower sprung up before her. "Another one used in traveling packs for strength. Outside of that, it can level out heartrates - if a cat is overworked, or stressed, or needs to be calmed down. Usually one flower will do. Have the cat chew it whole into a pulp to be swallowed. It also helps with easing the mind. Good for after rather stressful events."

Blue eyes turned to look at Snakeheart, watching as he took all this in. Admiration and a smidge of happiness swirled in her expression. He had come quite a ways since their first meeting, and though she didn't know the details of the coming moons she was aware his path was littered with hardships. Her heart ached a bit, wishing she could be alive to be there for him when it happened. For now though, all she could do was be with him when he slept.

// @Rani [5662342353 years later]

[Rani]

Snakeheart let out a embarrassed huff-snort at the continued prodding at his belief in starclan and the... validity of all this dreaming nonsense but tellingly didnt even attempt to try and explain away how this could occur when starclan didnt exist just rather playfully turned his head sticking his nose in the air. It was a lighthearted sort of snub that was quickly forgotten for the prospect of new knowledge though the limited time of the gesture made it hard to tell if he was simply unwilling to tread old ground to give his reasoning or if he was starting to believe. That particular point was one even Snakeheart didnt know really as odd as that fact was, or not given the toms habit of suppression and not thinking of his worries.


Camomile huh? Sounded incredibly useful given current circumstances though the tom worried for a moment if this was the kind of herb one could get too dependent on.... Say if 'some cat' was to take camomile for stress relief frequently enough would they come to rely on it too much and be unable to function without? Even if the herb had no side effects from long term usage if he- uh some random cat kept taking it what would happen when they suddenly went without? Snakeheart had the same questions about burnet when he first started exploring the herb in the waking world, surface level thought said it'd be beneficial to give as many warriors going to battle the leaf as possible however.... Herbs were not endless, he could run out, his herbs could go off, the effects could wear off so many things could happen and what would occur when warriors, used to battling with added strength, suddenly found themselves bereft in a fight. Nothing good he suspected so the tom had kept burnet in store for only the cases that needed it.


Ever more to worry about..... Ah well this concept was one Snakeheart could carry over easily and he did resolving to not need the camomile for himself (like that was a decision he could just make) and keep a good stock in hand for the rough times.


"Hmmmm while the strength benefits are good to know honestly Im really interested in the calming effects in this case. Ive had a few panicking cats in my den and I never know what to do but to poppyseed them and in some cases that's not a good option so if this works it'll be a great substitute." He was all business here all focus eyes sharpened from the soft flustered mess of a young tom which he was to the fine point that was Snakeheart at work. And at work his mind made connections he might not have otherwise he oft struggled with stress and that led to being sore and stiff like a lame donkey or an elder, he wasnt one to imbibe his own stock really (there were better cats it could treat) but if Cricketpaw knew anything to help the low throb of pain there were clanmates who could use that. "One issue I've run into was even when the cat relaxed after freaking out they're sore and aching from tensing too hard. Like how one can be after a long journey or lots of exercise you know that kind of ache is there anything I might be able to do for that besides dandelion? I try not to overuse my stock for a specific herb so I dont run out so diversity is super helpful."


Perhaps to Cricketpaw who'd never seen anything but the softer Snakeheart the change of aura from a young tom tripping over his paws like a happy fool to a razor sharp claw maneuvered without shake or hesitation to remove an issue (with all the power and air one got for being a highrank for moons now) was disturbing but if Snakeheart was aware of this unconscious change of his he'd hope she'd not be. His fine edged focus and drive was never on riverclan nor on her, only on what plagued them. But..... But it was ever hard to tell that if you didnt know him wasnt it.... Snakeheart was happy to ignore someone as long as they didnt make themselves an issue to him and his own but so many just couldnt let things lay and so perhaps it seemed like this was the true Snakeheart. It'd be a falsehood but only just.

@spade