Tips for Writing a Non-Cis Character?

[TheNyanCatMinecart]

Hello!

I hope to be roleplaying my OC Berrykit pretty soon, and she's going to be the first non-cis character I have.

Her entire kithood, she'll identify with her birth gender (she-cat). Then, as she moves into her apprenticeship, she'll begin to realize that she feels like a she-cat sometimes, a tom sometimes, doesn't want to identify as anything sometimes, etc. Basically, they'll be genderfluid. Then, some time after they become a warrior, they'll realize that they don't care what their Clanmates call them and will go by anything at any time (I think omnigender is the right word?).

So, essentially, I'm looking for tips, what to dos/what not to dos, and advice for writing a character with these qualities, as I am cis myself and do not have the experiences of a non-cis individual. I want to make sure I portray Berrykit accurately and non-offensively.

One thing I do already know is to not make the fact that they're genderfluid/omnigender their entire personality/character, even if it is a big part of them. Berrykit will very much be an individual; she doesn't exist just to be non-cis, but I want it to be a part of her character.

[sillycreatur]

placeholder as i write - nyan you are so thoughtful and cool for this /gen

[zozelen]

i am also someone who does not care about gender or what others call them! i use the term gender-apathetic, personally.

depending on berrykit's personality and early life i imagine they could feel about it different ways. the gender(s) berry is attracted to could also factor into this, depending on whether she realizes her sexuality or gender first, or both at the same time. also berrykit's opinion on kits- when he's younger, does the idea of being a mom/queen feel uncomfortable, neutral or positive? what kind of male and female (or other) role models does berrykit have in their life, and do they try to act similar to or different from those role models as berry grows up? would berry make a big deal out of coming out, is it a more private thing, do they try to avoid it... for me i actually never came out, because of the whole "not caring about gender" thing. people can perceive me as cis and that's fine, it's my friends who refer to me by he/him. lots of questions to ask when deciding their feelings about their identity!

[TheNyanCatMinecart]

@zozelen

Thank you very much! I'll keep this in mind as I write him.

[TheNyanCatMinecart]

Originally Posted by sillycreatur

placeholder as i write - nyan you are so thoughtful and cool for this /gen

[dino.]

Tbh there's not really one way to write non-cis characters. Everyone's experiences with their genders are going to vary in one way or another so you don't need to be too worried about sticking to one strict pipeline. Some folks can figure it out pretty quickly while it takes others longer. Some end up figuring it out after talking to someone with similar experiences, other times it just kind of clicks. (For example Bumble was harassed during her stretch of missing time from TC by a meanspirited baby who called her a girl and she realized oh! that fits better.) And for some it'll be easier to decide when and how to come out than others. Don't feel like you have to pick a straight line and run with it, if something doesn't feel like it fit's with the character then you can switch it up a bit. As long as the portrayal avoids harmful assumptions/stereotypes (ie. has to start enjoying things that align with their gender identity and hating things that align with their AGAB, it's something that's chosen, infantilizing the character, that it's the only major part of their identity/the only thing they talk about, etc etc) you'll be fine.

[TheNyanCatMinecart]

Originally Posted by dino.

Tbh there's not really one way to write non-cis characters. Everyone's experiences with their genders are going to vary in one way or another so you don't need to be too worried about sticking to one strict pipeline. Some folks can figure it out pretty quickly while it takes others longer. Some end up figuring it out after talking to someone with similar experiences, other times it just kind of clicks. (For example Bumble was harassed during her stretch of missing time from TC by a meanspirited baby who called her a girl and she realized oh! that fits better.) And for some it'll be easier to decide when and how to come out than others. Don't feel like you have to pick a straight line and run with it, if something doesn't feel like it fit's with the character then you can switch it up a bit. As long as the portrayal avoids harmful assumptions/stereotypes (ie. has to start enjoying things that align with their gender identity and hating things that align with their AGAB, it's something that's chosen, infantilizing the character, that it's the only major part of their identity/the only thing they talk about, etc etc) you'll be fine.

Sounds great! Are there any other stereotypes I should avoid? Also, Berrykit will initially be genderfluid, then realize they don’t care what others call them and just go by anything at any time. Would that be considered a “choice” (like, in a harmful way) or is that okay?

[dino.]

Originally Posted by TheNyanCatMinecart

Sounds great! Are there any other stereotypes I should avoid? Also, Berrykit will initially be genderfluid, then realize they don’t care what others call them and just go by anything at any time. Would that be considered a “choice” (like, in a harmful way) or is that okay?

Nothing else comes to mind off the top of my head, those listed are just what I've seen pop out at me most.

Choosing what to be referred to as is perfectly fine and not at all harmful o7 someone can choose to go by he/him or they/them, or this name or that one, but cannot choose to be transgender or genderfluid, or gay or bisexual. For example I didn't choose to be a transgender man but I did decide that he/him pronouns fit me best, and i got a few friends together to choose a name that better suited me.

[TheNyanCatMinecart]

Originally Posted by dino.

Nothing else comes to mind off the top of my head, those listed are just what I've seen pop out at me most.

Choosing what to be referred to as is perfectly fine and not at all harmful o7 someone can choose to go by he/him or they/them, or this name or that one, but cannot choose to be transgender or genderfluid, or gay or bisexual. For example I didn't choose to be a transgender man but I did decide that he/him pronouns fit me best, and i got a few friends together to choose a name that better suited me.

Good to know! Thanks!

[TheNyanCatMinecart]

Boop! <3