RiverClan Leader's Den

[Fawn]

Originally Posted by starfall

The leader was a sitting duck, easy to snuff out, easy to get rid of. He smelled nothing but the stench of his own self regret and fear, it swamped his senses and drowned out everything else. The stench stuck to him, it was plaguing his very blood cells, and no matter how hard he scrubbed, no matter how hard he scratched at it, it never went away. His fluffy tail coiled around his body, trying to make himself into an even smaller ball, but it was almost like his own tail was choking him. He was sinking, he had been slowly sinking for moons, and no one was there to save him, bring him back to land. It hurt. The ebony feline flinched and sharply inhaled at the sudden voice, swinging his head around, eyes wide. It was soft, the softest voice he had heard in a moon, his life had been filled with nothing but shouting, screaming, crying. Than here he came, a soft voice that was illuminated by the sun that broke through the fronds that were draped over his den. He had always been like that, bright, he envied the tom from the shadows, from the depths of the Ocean. The burly tom took a second to let his fur flatten, licking his chest vigorously, hoping that maybe he'd also get rid of the stench in the air. "Cedarsprint." the words just fell out of his mouth, rolled off his tongue with ease. It was almost like a silent plea. He didn't look up, lapis hues burnt a hole in the den floor. He could smell it, the guilt, it made his blood boil, made him want to scream. He held his tongue and bit the inside of his cheek. Why? Because he knew that the tom wasn't wrong, that he was indeed, broken. He didn't want his friend to see him like this, the only tom who held even a sliver of his trust.

He knew what the warrior came in here for, and it made his stomach churn. Cedarsprint was the only one left, his parents are dead, his siblings rarely spoke with him, and his deputy his mourning the disappearance of Tumblestep and her dead kit. He was alone again. Yet, here was his childhood friend, throwing his well-being and safety away to go...research. It made him angry, made him want to lash out, made him want to tell the other that "You don't have to do it by yourself. Trust me every once in a while!" but he knew that they were just empty words coming from a hollow husk where a spirit once called home. He lifted his head slightly and looked up at the brown feline, lapis hues flickered beneath his lashes, the only light that had made itsef known in moons. "If you know, why are you still going?" he asked, his voice hoarse, as if something had been scratching at the walls of his throat. Maybe it was just the acid of the words he continuously swallowed down, or maybe it was the searing hatred that he screeched whenever he managed to choke up the words, the wrong words, but words nonetheless. "There's no point...we'll just deal with him when the time comes." he added seconds after. He wanted to say more, call him an idiot, tell him to cut it out, but before anymore words could come pouring from his mouth, he heard it, that twinging sound of regret that hung from the toms sentence. It made the ebony tom almost heave over, his stomach churning and twisting. He could deal with it, the pain of regret, the hatred, but he couldn't bear it if his former closest friend was going through the pain.

Fallenstar opened his maw, taking a few seconds to think about what to say, but he immediately closed it as the warrior spoke up. What he heard next sent a violent shiver down his spine and made him want to throw up. 'Cedar met with the first evil era leader. That's practically poking death with a stick.' He felt is fur fluff up and his claws dug into the nest messily planted beneath him. He didn't like this feeling, what was it? He had experienced it once before, but the face, the memory, it was blurry, her face was covered by a dark cloud. Panic. It clicked and he swung his head up to look at his companion, brows knit together, body language tense, fear flickered across his face. Cedarsprint was the last, thin thread of hope he had left to grasp onto, his saving grace. He sat there, rooted to the den floor, his eyes following the treading of the multi-colored warrior, unable to cough up a single thing. It scarred him, the early evil leader able to contact one of his clanmates, his childhood friend? The thought of it shook the burly feline to his core. The leader knew that the pair had grown distant, and honestly, he blamed himself, it was his fault, he pushed the other away, he tried to cut ties. He couldn't say anything, he didn't have the right to. He could feel the iron tickle his tongue, he was biting his cheek too hard. The leader leaned back as the warrior stopped his pacing and stood directly before him, making the toms fur fluff up. He was being weighted down by it, the sheer awkwardness that this meeting held, it hung over their heads like a tempest and refused to disappear. He hated it, that he couldn't say a single thing to ward it off, that all he could do was sit there like some scared kit and listen as his friend was talking of his findings in the Dark Forest. The next bit of information that was thrown up in the thick atmosphere, however, terrified the ebony tom. 'There's more than one of them?' That thought shook him to the core, it made him stand up and scrape his claws against the stone beneath them.

"What." it was practically inaudible, barely even a whisper. More chaos, more blood, more fighting than the clans had already been facing? What did they do to deserve this? His walls crumbled, and soon enough, so was he. Fallenstar shakily sat himself down and coiled his tail around himself once more. Maybe it was a comfort thing, for such a large tom to want to be so small when worried, scared. His strength, which had so many cracks in it, so many weak spots, was now nothing more than dust in the wind. His fake toughness, straight face, seriousness, it was all chucked off a cliff, left to sink to the bottom of the ocean. It must've been because the silent, soft sense of peacefulness that floated just below the sheer awkwardness, not that this was a peaceful topic they were speaking of. He couldn't explain it, everything that he spent moons building up seemed to crumble with the falling of a leaf whenever Cedarsprint was near, no matter how hard he tried. His gaze was locked onto the stone floor below, ears flat against his skull, body tense, claws scraping, clinging to anything they could. Yet, even though he was clearly worried, clearly...angry, he couldn't say a single thing, not a single coo, scream, cry, statement, shout, none of it, they choked him, refused to let themselves be known. It took a large amount of sheer force to barf out what was about to come out of his mouth, "The second your life is in danger, get out and never go back." it was more of a silent plea than a command, more of a hope than an order. It was laced with fear, but it wasn't purely fear for himself, or his clan, no, though he was terrified for them, it was also fear for Cedarsprint's safety. He didn't care if the tom had eternal life, that didn't mean getting clawed at didn't hurt.

Regardless of how long Cedarsprint remained within Fallenstar's presence, the feeling of witnessing a private moment never faded, and he wondered if he should be here. It was tempting to simply leave and come back another time, but he had a sinking feeling nothing would change even if he were to try tomorrow. Had he really been gone for so long? RiverClan wasn't in disarray, but its leader seemed to be a husk of his former self. Out of respect and a slight twinge of pity, he didn't think he should stay long. Fallenstar could then get back to doing... whatever he was up to before he had rudely barged into his life only to share bad news. Good one, Cedarsprint, his intrusive thoughts nagged at him. It wasn't as if he could make it any better either, but perhaps he could use an outing. Cedarsprint was never content being tied to one place or location for long, perhaps his distant friend was the same way.

It was a relief and another weight on his shoulders when Fallenstar finally looked at him. Cedarsprint had been beginning to think he wasn't going to even be worthy of eye contact, but now he almost thought his wish had been a poor choice; Fallenstar's eyes only spoke of misery and loneliness and he didn't know what to do, didn't even know if he was interpreting the other's emotions correctly. It was self-indulgent to rely on how he wasn't skilled at reading moods or emotions, when he knew his childhood companion like the back of his paw. It was selfish to pretend he was unaware, therefore shedding guilt from his back. "At times, I wish I could, but you see-- it's.." a sigh as he attempted to articulate his mess of thoughts, "not that simple. I don't have control over it, I don't think I ever did. It's the Dark Forest that can summon a cat via dreams, not the other way around." He was essentially trapped for as long as Eternalstar desired their meetings, and he shuddered to think of what might happen if he expressed disinterest in continuing their visits and training. He was afraid Eternalstar would shred his very soul apart.

Alarm coursed through him at that, and he gave Fallenstar a narrowed-eyed gaze of contemplation. He finally settled on a shake of his head, and resumed pacing. "I don't understand. This is precisely the sort of thing we should be actively trying to prevent, not let happen to us. There's still time to act." The reddish brown tom pressed. "We could stop it--whatever that might be--before it happens, save everyone from suffering." Maybe he was too much of a go-getter, too eager to embark upon wild quests, obsessed with the idea of changing fate for the better. Fallenstar's fearful reaction only elicited a mildly panicked concern from Cedarsprint, who desperately worked to try to figure out what he'd said that caused this level of reaction -- certainly, this wasn't light news, but he hadn't meant for this to happen. Not that there was anything he could do about it now, taking back the words wasn't an option. He was oblivious to the regretful thoughts plaguing Fallenstar, but he didn't blame him for their growing distant; if anything, he figured it was his fault for being absent most of the time when he should've been there.

He could see Fallenstar's resolve crumble and felt his own go with it, but he refused to completely break down when he was here on business. Even if front of Fallenstar, it seemed like a recipe for disaster to basically show he couldn't handle this sort of responsibility or situation. "I ought to warn you," there was an unwillingness in the tone, as if he didn't want to say this. "As the leader of RiverClan, I believe Eternalstar will want to speak with you. Just be ready, if it happens. You'll do fine, he won't gain anything from it if you're stubborn with him-- that shouldn't be a problem for you." The last part was said a bit jokingly, a hint of playfulness in his voice, but equally matched by distress that he tried to keep hidden.

Clearing his throat, Cedarsprint fell into his thoughts. "But right now, we shouldn't sit around and wait for him to concoct a plan that allows him to reign over the Clans again. We can be one step ahead this time, and I think speaking to StarClan may give us the advantage over him." Guidance from their ancestors wasn't a complete solution, but they would at least know what the next steps would be if there was another Evil Era on the horizon. He wanted to be gentle with Fallenstar-- he looked so broken and small, but that simply wouldn't do. He returned to his earlier idea, hoping an outing would be good for him.. even a morbid one. "Will you go to the Starcave? I'll happily accompany you, if you'd like." Usually, it was the medicine cat that would go with the leader on journeys to speak with StarClan, and Cedarsprint recognized this. "I trust your judgment if you'd prefer to bring Heatherfur, but she's rather new to the Clan and.. ah, this is rather sensitive information." He wasn't sure he wanted to cause widespread terror by explaining what was happening to the medicine cat. In reality, he didn't fully trust her yet since she was from WindClan and had been recently summoned to take a healing role within RiverClan.

[Starfall]

Originally Posted by Benrito

Regardless of how long Cedarsprint remained within Fallenstar's presence, the feeling of witnessing a private moment never faded, and he wondered if he should be here. It was tempting to simply leave and come back another time, but he had a sinking feeling nothing would change even if he were to try tomorrow. Had he really been gone for so long? RiverClan wasn't in disarray, but its leader seemed to be a husk of his former self. Out of respect and a slight twinge of pity, he didn't think he should stay long. Fallenstar could then get back to doing... whatever he was up to before he had rudely barged into his life only to share bad news. Good one, Cedarsprint, his intrusive thoughts nagged at him. It wasn't as if he could make it any better either, but perhaps he could use an outing. Cedarsprint was never content being tied to one place or location for long, perhaps his distant friend was the same way.

It was a relief and another weight on his shoulders when Fallenstar finally looked at him. Cedarsprint had been beginning to think he wasn't going to even be worthy of eye contact, but now he almost thought his wish had been a poor choice; Fallenstar's eyes only spoke of misery and loneliness and he didn't know what to do, didn't even know if he was interpreting the other's emotions correctly. It was self-indulgent to rely on how he wasn't skilled at reading moods or emotions, when he knew his childhood companion like the back of his paw. It was selfish to pretend he was unaware, therefore shedding guilt from his back. "At times, I wish I could, but you see-- it's.." a sigh as he attempted to articulate his mess of thoughts, "not that simple. I don't have control over it, I don't think I ever did. It's the Dark Forest that can summon a cat via dreams, not the other way around." He was essentially trapped for as long as Eternalstar desired their meetings, and he shuddered to think of what might happen if he expressed disinterest in continuing their visits and training. He was afraid Eternalstar would shred his very soul apart.

Alarm coursed through him at that, and he gave Fallenstar a narrowed-eyed gaze of contemplation. He finally settled on a shake of his head, and resumed pacing. "I don't understand. This is precisely the sort of thing we should be actively trying to prevent, not let happen to us. There's still time to act." The reddish brown tom pressed. "We could stop it--whatever that might be--before it happens, save everyone from suffering." Maybe he was too much of a go-getter, too eager to embark upon wild quests, obsessed with the idea of changing fate for the better. Fallenstar's fearful reaction only elicited a mildly panicked concern from Cedarsprint, who desperately worked to try to figure out what he'd said that caused this level of reaction -- certainly, this wasn't light news, but he hadn't meant for this to happen. Not that there was anything he could do about it now, taking back the words wasn't an option. He was oblivious to the regretful thoughts plaguing Fallenstar, but he didn't blame him for their growing distant; if anything, he figured it was his fault for being absent most of the time when he should've been there.

He could see Fallenstar's resolve crumble and felt his own go with it, but he refused to completely break down when he was here on business. Even if front of Fallenstar, it seemed like a recipe for disaster to basically show he couldn't handle this sort of responsibility or situation. "I ought to warn you," there was an unwillingness in the tone, as if he didn't want to say this. "As the leader of RiverClan, I believe Eternalstar will want to speak with you. Just be ready, if it happens. You'll do fine, he won't gain anything from it if you're stubborn with him-- that shouldn't be a problem for you." The last part was said a bit jokingly, a hint of playfulness in his voice, but equally matched by distress that he tried to keep hidden.

Clearing his throat, Cedarsprint fell into his thoughts. "But right now, we shouldn't sit around and wait for him to concoct a plan that allows him to reign over the Clans again. We can be one step ahead this time, and I think speaking to StarClan may give us the advantage over him." Guidance from their ancestors wasn't a complete solution, but they would at least know what the next steps would be if there was another Evil Era on the horizon. He wanted to be gentle with Fallenstar-- he looked so broken and small, but that simply wouldn't do. He returned to his earlier idea, hoping an outing would be good for him.. even a morbid one. "Will you go to the Starcave? I'll happily accompany you, if you'd like." Usually, it was the medicine cat that would go with the leader on journeys to speak with StarClan, and Cedarsprint recognized this. "I trust your judgment if you'd prefer to bring Heatherfur, but she's rather new to the Clan and.. ah, this is rather sensitive information." He wasn't sure he wanted to cause widespread terror by explaining what was happening to the medicine cat. In reality, he didn't fully trust her yet since she was from WindClan and had been recently summoned to take a healing role within RiverClan.

His tongue glided along the wall of his cheek, wiping up the blood that blossomed after a moment of stress. He had tasted it before, the crimson water, it had its own peculiar spice that made it different from all the rest. He hated it. He also hated the memories that came along with it, they were never good, how could any memory be good if it involved blood? Cedarsprint was there the morning they found his parents bodies. While he was there for his siblings, trying to keep his family in tact, Cedarsprint was there for him, to keep his spirit in tact. How they had become so distant? He couldn't remember, but he knew it began sometime around when he became deputy. He regretted it all. What he regretted, he didn't know. How much he changed, what he did, what he used to believe in? All he knew at the moment was that Riverclan was functioning, Honeypool was gone, and Cedarsprint hadn't changed since the last he saw him. If Cedarsprint was the same as before, than he knew the look of uncertainty that flickered across his distant friends face like the back of a salmon. The warrior, to the leaders understanding and experience, was rarely unsettled, always had an idea, a grasp, of what was going on and what was going to happen as well as what had already happened. It made him sick to think that he had become one of the few things to put him in a momentairy state of doubt. The ebony feline put his paw under his chin and tilted his head to the side, a perplexed expression formed on his face. "So...it's not a shared..bond." he began, each word slowly slipping out of his mouth. "Rather, it's a River. Where you're the fish, and he's the strong current. Yes, I think I understand..." it made a little more sense to him after he put it like that, but just a little. Even that little sense of knowledge made him shudder. The fact that he had heard that wounds could be acquired through these dreams made him fear for his friends life. 'That Snake!'

Lapis eyes watched as the brown, red tinted, warrior renewed his pacing, watching each paw lift off the floor with invisible passion, each tuft of fur fluff with the gust of wind. It never got old, though of course it made Fallenstar dizzy it held a sense of...familiarity to it, some things only few actions or scents did. Brought him back to his kithood. Of course, now wasn't the time to remember his past, Cedarsprint seemed to pace only when in deep thought, stressed, or when he was onto something, of course those were the only times the leader had seen his distant friend pace. He shook his head as his friend pressed on, trying to show him something, prove to him he was right, show the facts. Cedarsprint was rarely wrong, he knew that, and he wasn't wrong this time, technically, either. "I get that, but you can't fight a war if it isn't there." he stated, "What would I tell our clanmates to prepare for? We've already got Windclan and Shadowclan ready to fight at any given moment, what else can I throw onto their shoulders? It'd just...it'd just cause panic." they already had so much to deal with, and of course that was his fault, he was the one who told Riverclan to fight alongside Thunderclan to drive the other two away. He was also the one who broke the pact between Russetswirl and Blazingstar. He was the reason they were trudging up a hill with so much weighing them down, he couldn't add more. So much was happening, so many voices screaming, singing, speaking, whispering, gargling, all of it in his head he had to focus on Cedarsprints smell, his voice. He had to dig his claws into the ground. He was so scared that he wouldn't be able to tell reality from fantasy if this kept on. This news, this extra fear wasn't helping him in the slightest bit.

The bulky tom shook his head and cast his gaze to the stone floor, focusing on a little branch of moss on his nest, stabilizing himself. Why would Starclan allow more than one evil? Did they want to punish the clans for fighting? Didn't they suffer enough? "He couldn't have....Eternalstar's lying to try and scare us....it worked too....he couldn't have made it out of that blaze." A long, drawn out sigh escaped his lips and he lifted his head, brows knit together with an evident frown on his face. "We can't trust what he says. We're going to have to see it for ourselves...there was no way in Starclan Bucknight could have survived that fire, it was large, we barely survived that fire. " he huffed, tail lashing behind him. He didn't know what else to say to push the idea of the former evil era leader surviving away, prove that it was wrong. No one had found the body. He began to bite the inside of his cheek once more, making sure it was real, that all of this was real. The pit in his stomach grew when he realized it was, indeed, real, that all of this was happening and that his clanmates, not just his clanmates, that all the clans might be in danger again. His voice wasn't strong, it didn't stand tall, project, it was weak and it wavered. He was a leader, but he felt like a horrible one. What good could possibly come to him leading his clan into a war that might not even happen? 'Better than that scoundrel leading this clan.' one of the few, good, soft voices rang out and, oddly enough, brought him back to what was currently happening. Stopped him from caving in on himself. He caught onto the warriors airy joke, and it made him crack a smile, it was like an ember crackling as it tried to ignite a fire once more. "Don't know what he'd gain from speaking to me anyways....I've got nothing to give, and these idiots sure as day wouldn't listen to the likes of him...most of them at least." he stated, the smile lingering for a moment longer, but in a blink of an eye, disappeared. He knew not all of his clanmates liked following in the footsteps of Starclan, but as long as they weren't tearing innocent felines throats out, he was contempt with that.

Fallenstar gave a little jump and barely suppressed a startled noise as Cedarsprint cleared his throat and resumed speaking once more in a rushed tone. It almost made the leader want to get up. He knew the thinker in front of him, he was the reason he didn't loose an eye in his kit-hood days, he always had a little more to say after the starter. Fond memories made him miss their close bond, made him wonder if there was still something there, a spiders web worth of it would be enough for him. He missed the adventures they went on, the jokes they shared with one another, all of it. Of course, he was nothing but trouble now, the leader, In someway he always seemed to hurt or drive away those he cared about. He had more scars on the inside than out. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't mend the bond that he had broken, he was too much of a mess and a wreck, it would do nothing but burden his distant friend.

He didn't know what to do. Normally, yes, leaders did travel with their medicine cats to the Starcave when such an important thing arises, but she was a Windclanner and she was new. Cedarsprint, on the other hand, is a Riverclanner, and is one of the few, few felines he trusted, yet he was not a medicine cat. That and he was nothing but a bad luck magnet, brought nothing but pain and death wherever his paws touched the earth. After a long moment of silence, of thinking and contemplating hard about his choice, the ebony leader stood up and shook the moss off his pelt, twitching his ears as the moss landed gently upon the stone floor. "I will go alone..." he stated, yet he couldn't finish his sentence. He couldn't give his reasoning as to why he was to do it alone, more like he wouldn't. If he stated it aloud it would be....well emberassing, the fact that he didn't want any harm to come to Cedarsprint because he attracted bad luck. He ruffled his fur, making him seem like an even bigger feline, and made his way toward the entrance to his den, pawsteps slow, wobbly. He was still recovering from the running and mucking about he had to do a few moons ago to get Rowanflower. Managed to get a few good scratches from that, and he was positive his back leg wound had managed to reopen. "make sure to tell Rowanflower where I've gone, you don't have to tell her wh-" of course, in that serious moment, he had managed to bite his tongue, which caused the tom to drop his head and let out a hiss of pain. He was more of a wreck than he thought.

[Fawn]

Originally Posted by starfall

His tongue glided along the wall of his cheek, wiping up the blood that blossomed after a moment of stress. He had tasted it before, the crimson water, it had its own peculiar spice that made it different from all the rest. He hated it. He also hated the memories that came along with it, they were never good, how could any memory be good if it involved blood? Cedarsprint was there the morning they found his parents bodies. While he was there for his siblings, trying to keep his family in tact, Cedarsprint was there for him, to keep his spirit in tact. How they had become so distant? He couldn't remember, but he knew it began sometime around when he became deputy. He regretted it all. What he regretted, he didn't know. How much he changed, what he did, what he used to believe in? All he knew at the moment was that Riverclan was functioning, Honeypool was gone, and Cedarsprint hadn't changed since the last he saw him. If Cedarsprint was the same as before, than he knew the look of uncertainty that flickered across his distant friends face like the back of a salmon. The warrior, to the leaders understanding and experience, was rarely unsettled, always had an idea, a grasp, of what was going on and what was going to happen as well as what had already happened. It made him sick to think that he had become one of the few things to put him in a momentairy state of doubt. The ebony feline put his paw under his chin and tilted his head to the side, a perplexed expression formed on his face. "So...it's not a shared..bond." he began, each word slowly slipping out of his mouth. "Rather, it's a River. Where you're the fish, and he's the strong current. Yes, I think I understand..." it made a little more sense to him after he put it like that, but just a little. Even that little sense of knowledge made him shudder. The fact that he had heard that wounds could be acquired through these dreams made him fear for his friends life. 'That Snake!'

Lapis eyes watched as the brown, red tinted, warrior renewed his pacing, watching each paw lift off the floor with invisible passion, each tuft of fur fluff with the gust of wind. It never got old, though of course it made Fallenstar dizzy it held a sense of...familiarity to it, some things only few actions or scents did. Brought him back to his kithood. Of course, now wasn't the time to remember his past, Cedarsprint seemed to pace only when in deep thought, stressed, or when he was onto something, of course those were the only times the leader had seen his distant friend pace. He shook his head as his friend pressed on, trying to show him something, prove to him he was right, show the facts. Cedarsprint was rarely wrong, he knew that, and he wasn't wrong this time, technically, either. "I get that, but you can't fight a war if it isn't there." he stated, "What would I tell our clanmates to prepare for? We've already got Windclan and Shadowclan ready to fight at any given moment, what else can I throw onto their shoulders? It'd just...it'd just cause panic." they already had so much to deal with, and of course that was his fault, he was the one who told Riverclan to fight alongside Thunderclan to drive the other two away. He was also the one who broke the pact between Russetswirl and Blazingstar. He was the reason they were trudging up a hill with so much weighing them down, he couldn't add more. So much was happening, so many voices screaming, singing, speaking, whispering, gargling, all of it in his head he had to focus on Cedarsprints smell, his voice. He had to dig his claws into the ground. He was so scared that he wouldn't be able to tell reality from fantasy if this kept on. This news, this extra fear wasn't helping him in the slightest bit.

The bulky tom shook his head and cast his gaze to the stone floor, focusing on a little branch of moss on his nest, stabilizing himself. Why would Starclan allow more than one evil? Did they want to punish the clans for fighting? Didn't they suffer enough? "He couldn't have....Eternalstar's lying to try and scare us....it worked too....he couldn't have made it out of that blaze." A long, drawn out sigh escaped his lips and he lifted his head, brows knit together with an evident frown on his face. "We can't trust what he says. We're going to have to see it for ourselves...there was no way in Starclan Bucknight could have survived that fire, it was large, we barely survived that fire. " he huffed, tail lashing behind him. He didn't know what else to say to push the idea of the former evil era leader surviving away, prove that it was wrong. No one had found the body. He began to bite the inside of his cheek once more, making sure it was real, that all of this was real. The pit in his stomach grew when he realized it was, indeed, real, that all of this was happening and that his clanmates, not just his clanmates, that all the clans might be in danger again. His voice wasn't strong, it didn't stand tall, project, it was weak and it wavered. He was a leader, but he felt like a horrible one. What good could possibly come to him leading his clan into a war that might not even happen? 'Better than that scoundrel leading this clan.' one of the few, good, soft voices rang out and, oddly enough, brought him back to what was currently happening. Stopped him from caving in on himself. He caught onto the warriors airy joke, and it made him crack a smile, it was like an ember crackling as it tried to ignite a fire once more. "Don't know what he'd gain from speaking to me anyways....I've got nothing to give, and these idiots sure as day wouldn't listen to the likes of him...most of them at least." he stated, the smile lingering for a moment longer, but in a blink of an eye, disappeared. He knew not all of his clanmates liked following in the footsteps of Starclan, but as long as they weren't tearing innocent felines throats out, he was contempt with that.

Fallenstar gave a little jump and barely suppressed a startled noise as Cedarsprint cleared his throat and resumed speaking once more in a rushed tone. It almost made the leader want to get up. He knew the thinker in front of him, he was the reason he didn't loose an eye in his kit-hood days, he always had a little more to say after the starter. Fond memories made him miss their close bond, made him wonder if there was still something there, a spiders web worth of it would be enough for him. He missed the adventures they went on, the jokes they shared with one another, all of it. Of course, he was nothing but trouble now, the leader, In someway he always seemed to hurt or drive away those he cared about. He had more scars on the inside than out. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't mend the bond that he had broken, he was too much of a mess and a wreck, it would do nothing but burden his distant friend.

He didn't know what to do. Normally, yes, leaders did travel with their medicine cats to the Starcave when such an important thing arises, but she was a Windclanner and she was new. Cedarsprint, on the other hand, is a Riverclanner, and is one of the few, few felines he trusted, yet he was not a medicine cat. That and he was nothing but a bad luck magnet, brought nothing but pain and death wherever his paws touched the earth. After a long moment of silence, of thinking and contemplating hard about his choice, the ebony leader stood up and shook the moss off his pelt, twitching his ears as the moss landed gently upon the stone floor. "I will go alone..." he stated, yet he couldn't finish his sentence. He couldn't give his reasoning as to why he was to do it alone, more like he wouldn't. If he stated it aloud it would be....well emberassing, the fact that he didn't want any harm to come to Cedarsprint because he attracted bad luck. He ruffled his fur, making him seem like an even bigger feline, and made his way toward the entrance to his den, pawsteps slow, wobbly. He was still recovering from the running and mucking about he had to do a few moons ago to get Rowanflower. Managed to get a few good scratches from that, and he was positive his back leg wound had managed to reopen. "make sure to tell Rowanflower where I've gone, you don't have to tell her wh-" of course, in that serious moment, he had managed to bite his tongue, which caused the tom to drop his head and let out a hiss of pain. He was more of a wreck than he thought.

Cedarsprint winced at Fallenstar's words and felt troubled, maybe not equally so but all the same; he didn't have the stress of the leader, wasn't responsible for the well-being of an entire Clan... however, he did worry for Fallenstar. He was fearful for him, very afraid he would crack under the pressure, and given his recent actions he almost felt like that would be his fault. He hadn't been here when he needed to be, but he was determined to change that as early as right now. "We'll get through this," he said encouragingly, hoping it sounded optimistic and certain even if he wasn't. Unsure of what they were really up against, he didn't know how to begin to fight this battle, as if was entirely dream-based. He realized it was also interesting how he'd worded it: not, you'll get through this or RiverClan will -- it was we'll, reminding him of the times they were a team. Cedarsprint liked the sound of once again being united with his childhood friend and could merely hope Fallenstar was as willing to mend things between them.

"I know, I know," he sighed, conflicted and pacing as he wished he could sort his thoughts on the matter. "There really isn't a lot to do about it because it's not as if you could tell them, or prepare them.. We don't want to alarm anybody and create a panic, that's perhaps what Eternalstar is hoping for through all of this." There was a sadness in his eyes again, not just because of their wrecked bond but more because it made him uneasy that he had to share this with Fallenstar. RiverClan might be able to take it, but the leader was weakened under the pressures of managing a Clan. And maybe personal matters too if the gossip floating around was true. "So that's why we don't tell them anything at all, unless StarClan can give us specific guidance. We might have to wait and see what this manifests into, but we have an edge of the opponent. We have knowledge and could begin training the Clan in subtle ways, making sure they are battle-ready in case anything arises.. but yes, I agree- WindClan and ShadowClan appear to be our biggest concerns and may continue to be, if they refuse to help." Should anything happen with the Dark Forest, it could take the Clans' combined efforts to drive them away. His thoughts were racing a mile a minute, and he tried to be careful with what he shared to Fallenstar. He didn't want to overload him with information, especially when he was aiming to be a better companion than he had for many moons. Even if Fallenstar was uninterested in bridging the gap between them, repairing an old connection, that didn't mean he would try any less to give him the compassion he worried he lacked for too long. Holding his tongue, he wasn't sure if he should protest and claim Eternalstar was being honest about it since he didn't know. He preferred Fallenstar's version of events, where Bucknight didn't survive but that didn't explain why he wasn't in the Dark Forest. Cedarsprint wondered if he just didn't summon him, though it did clarify Eternalstar wasn't reincarnated into Bucknight at least ... but that wasn't ideal either, having two cats that could totally conquer at the twitch of a whisker if they desired. Shaking his head to shake the thoughts away, he told himself that wouldn't happen. "Luckily, that seems to be irrelevant. There's no reason to send out a search for Bucknight or bother with him if he is alive because he has been around for dozens of moons complacently." He was concerned that was a front, and they could be gaining numbers to overturn the Clans. "You're right. RiverClan is loyal to you, Fallenstar. We all are, I am. Some cat could try to take over, but we wouldn't let them bring this Clan to the depths of evil by uprooting you." RiverClan would defend their leader. Unlike what Fallenstar believed, the general consensus was that he was a good leader for them. He wished Fallenstar had a choice in whether or not he spoke with Eternalstar, but the fact was that he didn't. "Don't.. fret over it. He may not reach out to you, and if he does, just don't give him anything." Eternalstar was a body of trickery and deceit, which only worked if Fallenstar offered him something to work with. "I trust that you'll do fine if confronted with his evil." Fallenstar had demonstrated time and time again that he could rise to a challenge, and Cedarsprint thought this would be no different despite the state he was in.

When it looked like Fallenstar was getting up from his nest, Cedarsprint filled with adrenaline from the tips of his ears down to his toes.. This was it, they were going to go on an outing together and resolve this with the help of their starry ancestors. Wonderful. Well, it was wonderful until Fallenstar determined he was going to go alone, which caused Cedarsprint's ears to fall flat in concern and frustration. The problem was, he didn't think it was exactly within his power to demand he come along on this journey, not to mention it wasn't his job to. "I should go too," he urged lamely, desperately trying to think of an excuse why it would be necessary. "I.. would probably do something stupid, if I'm here.. y'know, alone and all." It was true to an extent, but he was far more worried about Fallenstar traveling alone-- he wasn't going to allow that to happen. Fallenstar was barely able to function in his physical and emotional ruin, much less do this without any assistance.

Cedarsprint padded to catch up to him, which wasn't hard since his childhood friend's steps were wobbly and uneven, slow. Definitely a cause for concern, and that by itself was enough to convince him Fallenstar couldn't do this on his own, and besides, he wouldn't stand by and permit it to happen knowingly. "Look, you can either give me the chance to come with you, or I can follow ten tail-lengths behind you the entire way, but I'm not staying here." His thoughts grew muddled with memories of the past, and his breath hitched. Fallenstar was one of the few that hadn't been lost to time or death, and he couldn't let him slip through his paws like this. "You're still important to me." It was quiet, a candid confession, but nonetheless true. Cedarsprint didn't want his attempt at rekindling a friendship to be outright rejected, but if he was going to, he thought it was better now than later. Trying to snap out of it, he meowed, "..But even so, just as a warrior and leader, I want to be by your side in this situation." If he wanted the short version of it: he wasn't going alone, and Cedarsprint wasn't about to stay in camp wishing he was with his childhood friend.

[Starfall]

Originally Posted by Benrito

Cedarsprint winced at Fallenstar's words and felt troubled, maybe not equally so but all the same; he didn't have the stress of the leader, wasn't responsible for the well-being of an entire Clan... however, he did worry for Fallenstar. He was fearful for him, very afraid he would crack under the pressure, and given his recent actions he almost felt like that would be his fault. He hadn't been here when he needed to be, but he was determined to change that as early as right now. "We'll get through this," he said encouragingly, hoping it sounded optimistic and certain even if he wasn't. Unsure of what they were really up against, he didn't know how to begin to fight this battle, as if was entirely dream-based. He realized it was also interesting how he'd worded it: not, you'll get through this or RiverClan will -- it was we'll, reminding him of the times they were a team. Cedarsprint liked the sound of once again being united with his childhood friend and could merely hope Fallenstar was as willing to mend things between them.

"I know, I know," he sighed, conflicted and pacing as he wished he could sort his thoughts on the matter. "There really isn't a lot to do about it because it's not as if you could tell them, or prepare them.. We don't want to alarm anybody and create a panic, that's perhaps what Eternalstar is hoping for through all of this." There was a sadness in his eyes again, not just because of their wrecked bond but more because it made him uneasy that he had to share this with Fallenstar. RiverClan might be able to take it, but the leader was weakened under the pressures of managing a Clan. And maybe personal matters too if the gossip floating around was true. "So that's why we don't tell them anything at all, unless StarClan can give us specific guidance. We might have to wait and see what this manifests into, but we have an edge of the opponent. We have knowledge and could begin training the Clan in subtle ways, making sure they are battle-ready in case anything arises.. but yes, I agree- WindClan and ShadowClan appear to be our biggest concerns and may continue to be, if they refuse to help." Should anything happen with the Dark Forest, it could take the Clans' combined efforts to drive them away. His thoughts were racing a mile a minute, and he tried to be careful with what he shared to Fallenstar. He didn't want to overload him with information, especially when he was aiming to be a better companion than he had for many moons. Even if Fallenstar was uninterested in bridging the gap between them, repairing an old connection, that didn't mean he would try any less to give him the compassion he worried he lacked for too long. Holding his tongue, he wasn't sure if he should protest and claim Eternalstar was being honest about it since he didn't know. He preferred Fallenstar's version of events, where Bucknight didn't survive but that didn't explain why he wasn't in the Dark Forest. Cedarsprint wondered if he just didn't summon him, though it did clarify Eternalstar wasn't reincarnated into Bucknight at least ... but that wasn't ideal either, having two cats that could totally conquer at the twitch of a whisker if they desired. Shaking his head to shake the thoughts away, he told himself that wouldn't happen. "Luckily, that seems to be irrelevant. There's no reason to send out a search for Bucknight or bother with him if he is alive because he has been around for dozens of moons complacently." He was concerned that was a front, and they could be gaining numbers to overturn the Clans. "You're right. RiverClan is loyal to you, Fallenstar. We all are, I am. Some cat could try to take over, but we wouldn't let them bring this Clan to the depths of evil by uprooting you." RiverClan would defend their leader. Unlike what Fallenstar believed, the general consensus was that he was a good leader for them. He wished Fallenstar had a choice in whether or not he spoke with Eternalstar, but the fact was that he didn't. "Don't.. fret over it. He may not reach out to you, and if he does, just don't give him anything." Eternalstar was a body of trickery and deceit, which only worked if Fallenstar offered him something to work with. "I trust that you'll do fine if confronted with his evil." Fallenstar had demonstrated time and time again that he could rise to a challenge, and Cedarsprint thought this would be no different despite the state he was in.

When it looked like Fallenstar was getting up from his nest, Cedarsprint filled with adrenaline from the tips of his ears down to his toes.. This was it, they were going to go on an outing together and resolve this with the help of their starry ancestors. Wonderful. Well, it was wonderful until Fallenstar determined he was going to go alone, which caused Cedarsprint's ears to fall flat in concern and frustration. The problem was, he didn't think it was exactly within his power to demand he come along on this journey, not to mention it wasn't his job to. "I should go too," he urged lamely, desperately trying to think of an excuse why it would be necessary. "I.. would probably do something stupid, if I'm here.. y'know, alone and all." It was true to an extent, but he was far more worried about Fallenstar traveling alone-- he wasn't going to allow that to happen. Fallenstar was barely able to function in his physical and emotional ruin, much less do this without any assistance.

Cedarsprint padded to catch up to him, which wasn't hard since his childhood friend's steps were wobbly and uneven, slow. Definitely a cause for concern, and that by itself was enough to convince him Fallenstar couldn't do this on his own, and besides, he wouldn't stand by and permit it to happen knowingly. "Look, you can either give me the chance to come with you, or I can follow ten tail-lengths behind you the entire way, but I'm not staying here." His thoughts grew muddled with memories of the past, and his breath hitched. Fallenstar was one of the few that hadn't been lost to time or death, and he couldn't let him slip through his paws like this. "You're still important to me." It was quiet, a candid confession, but nonetheless true. Cedarsprint didn't want his attempt at rekindling a friendship to be outright rejected, but if he was going to, he thought it was better now than later. Trying to snap out of it, he meowed, "..But even so, just as a warrior and leader, I want to be by your side in this situation." If he wanted the short version of it: he wasn't going alone, and Cedarsprint wasn't about to stay in camp wishing he was with his childhood friend.

[Slow? Me? As true as the sun shines, oops]
The brown toms words rang in his ears, echoed, the noise made him swing his head and pin his ears to the sides of his skull. He wanted to believe the brown warrior, he truly did, but with the luck that Riverclan has had recently, loosing both well trained medicine cats, he just couldn't. Those words rattled around in his head, everyone he'd ever known had told him those exact words. Driftingstorm, Lightstream, Honeypool, Gekoleaf, Juniperpaw, and where were they? He almost lost Rowanflower, her and the warrior pacing around in his den right now were his last threads of hope. If he lost them....when he looses them, he wouldn't truly be him anymore, he'd give up his soul to the pain. He swung his head and refused to look the other in the eye "I don't believe that." he stated, voice wobbly, as if he was already letting go of that lifeline already. In a sense he was. He didn't care if his deputy and Cedarsprint came to hate him, they could shun him, try and murder him. As long as they were alive, he could care less what they thought about him. By the looks of it, according to the tom, in order for them to live to see their elder years, he had to push them away. All those who got too close vanished and or died. Each time it happened, it broke him, more, and more, and more, and more. At this point, his heart and soul was nothing more than a pile of dust. "You know what happened to the last feline that said that to me? Ask Juniperpaw...oh wait, you can't." he growled out the last two words, sizzled on the den floor as if they were acid itself. He felt his stomach drop and felt all the blood from his face drain. It was unprofessional, and they had long since cut their bond as close childhood friends, now merely more than aquantances. "Don't say it again...I can't loose you too." if the wind decided to gently blow into the tunnel, his words that were filled with so much emotion, so much rawness, would be lost. He kept his gaze to the ground and his pawtips gripped the stone beneath him so hard that he was beginning to draw blood. He had only two pillars of support left, Cedarsprint and Rowanflower...the downfall of those two would be the downfall of him.

The burly leader released a shaky breath and lifted his gaze to look the brown tom in the eyes as he spoke, his ears swiveling forward. He was tired, exhausted, yet he had done nothing for the past few days. He nodded his head as the warrior stated his ideas and opinions, it didn't surprise him that Cedarsprint thought this through so well, and it wouldn't surprise him if the bark colored tom had just thought of it on the spot. Compared to the black tom sitting in the nest, between the two, the warrior standing and speaking was the smartest of them, always was, probably always will be. Fallenstar tended to throw himself headfirst into a problem based on how he felt about it rather than think it through than approach it, which explains the mess he put Riverclan in now. "Exactly. They're working hard enough training for a possible all out war between the clans...I'm sure that's enough in case Eternalstar tries something." he stated, in his mind, it made sense, they were training harder than before, so it should work. Case closed. After a second he let out another sigh, a more distressed look plastered on his face this time "Even if Starclan does send us a sign or tell us to do something...it won't help, there will still be widespread panic! Both Eternalstar and Bucknight plotting against the clans? Against us?" he stopped for a moment to look Cedarsprint dead in the eyes, stunning yellow met deep blue. He had forgotten what it felt like, to look his childhood friend in the eyes again, as equals. It sent a wave of electricity down his spine, made his fur rise a little and made him twitch his whiskers. "Our clanmates are broken and downhearted, what do you think they'll do when they hear that one of the two worst, most evilest leaders are making a comeback?" he asked. There was no anger, no annoyance coming from his voice. Only remorse. They had enough to deal with, with the rank changes, and he threw them into a possible all or nothing battle. Now this? He was supposed to be a leader, the one to lead them down the right direction, the one to protect them. So far, since he had stepped paw into this den, he had done a poor job of being a leader.

"He's sitting in his own thoughts...soon enough he'll feel the effects of those negative emotions that have been brewing inside of him, and he'll act." he stated, leaning forwards a little bit, balancing on the balls of his back paws. 'I know, because I speak from experience.' he swallowed the words down, wincing as they singed the sides of his throat and burned in the pits of his stomach, which riled up everything he managed to swallow down within the few moons. Those words were a dark shadowy substance that burnt and scorched his insides, yet, when spoken aloud they were icy cold and could pierce a cat through the heart and soul. He couldn't do that...not now, it wasn't about him. "If he's alive...of course." he added a bit afterwards, his head was now tilted at an angle and he was looking at the tabby mix up at the top of his eye. The voices began to whisper louder, accusations and threats surfaced and bubbled as he began to talk about the loyalty of the clan. It made the large tom let out a snort and grimace at the ground, "Riverclan...not me. Appreciate the face you're putting on, er, Cedarsprint." being so formal made his tongue itch, it just felt wrong. He didn't like it, but he couldn't stop now "But there's no need to put up a front, I know how they feel about me. I wouldn't blame you if you felt the same." he huffed out in an exhausted tone. Each word was laced with the smallest hint of sadness and regret, one would have to look into the words deeply to see. "Better said that done." he said in a gruff tone. The leader let out a pitiful chuckle and shook his head, brows knit together, a forced smile plastered on his maw "Happy to know one of us knows what they're doing for the most part though...helps ease some stress." a joke? An attempt to ease the atmosphere that choked the pair? Possibly, but he had given up before the second word even escaped past his lips. It had been moons since the pair had spoken like old pals, like friends even, it was too late to try and mend their bond, too late to finally put in some effort. No use in trying.

Fallenstar swiveled his head as the brownish red warrior stated his opinion on the traveling matter, which made the leaders blood boil and the fear course through his veins. He couldn't go. He took Juniperpaw to the Starcave with him, she's gone. He took Honeypool on a walk, she's gone. He accompanied Waterstreak on a patrol, he killed him, he went on a walk and talk with Shatteredspiral, she's disappeared. He couldn't risk it, the leader attracted destruction and death, he was nothing but bad luck. He swung his head back and fourth for a good few seconds and looked at Cedarsprint with worry dancing in his eyes. "I...I can't let you come. If you'd do something stupid here, what would you do out there? Besides you're not alone...you're clanmates are here, and I'm sure Rowanflower wouldn't mind being your entertainment." he reasoned. Once again, the fluffy leader danced around the real reason behind his actions, just as he had always done. Pitiful and weak. He returned all his focus on the movements of his legs, trying to hide the shakiness. He was beyond weak, muscles twitched consistently, his head was pounding, stomach felt like it was filled with fire, his throat felt as though it was drenched in acid. His everything hurt. Each pawstep towards the exit of his den made the tom grimace and hold back a hiss of pain. It felt as though he was walking on shell shards. He felt as though he could hear every whisper, every breath, every call of his clanmates, of Thunderclan's cats, it echoed and resonated in his ears, in his head. Everything was too much. He tried to avoid the pain with each pawstep, erratic and disorganized, it never worked, every step made the whispers louder, made the pain even deeper. As Cedarsprint caught up he flinched and let out a gasp as well as a sharp intake of breath, the toms voice was loud in comparison to the whispers. It made the larger wince. All that pain, however, seemed to fade away for a mere matter of seconds after the other spoke, an exhausted smile blossomed across his face. He had forgotten how stubborn the younger was, how once his mind was set, that's what was going to happen. That smile faded and was replaced with a serious, yet equally worried gaze. He opened his mouth to object once more, but what Cedarsprint said next caught him off guard. He felt something small within him burn bright, hot, within his soul. The tips of his toes began to tingle and he felt his neck fur bristle. It had been so long. What was it again, this feeling? He didn't know, it was probably lost within the black goo puddles that made themselves at home in his mind. That light feeling, however, was snuffed out as soon as the warrior added that last sentence. He knew the next emotion he was feeling very well, dissapointment. Of course, he still had no reason why he felt that way.

Fallenstar took a second and returned his gaze to the entrance of the den, ears flat, lips turned downwards in a thin pout. Why was he trying to hide his face? Why was his face warm? Did the sun decide to show itself? So many questions he had no answers towards. "Rather have you up beside me rather than behind me...in case something goes wrong and I can be there to protect you." he paused "As a leader."

[wren]

@starfall
( ahaha, my volleyball practices are taking over my life so I'll try to get around to posting when I can, although I wouldn't expect much from me cause I just can't be that amazing and like post all the time. Unless I wake up a super human than I'm sorry to disappoint )

as the last patrols were sent off Rowanflower stood contemplating wether or not she should join the last patrol, her eyes wandering after the white tail that brought up the rear as they slipped through the gorse tunnel and lastly out of sight. No. at that the she cat had decided she wouldn't be doing any morning patrols and spun on her heels towards the center of camp. She was exhausted, the care she had taken to examine each warrior closely was gradually wearing down on her. Constantly going out of her way to intervene and possibly deter them from over working themselves into sleep deprivation or exhaustion. Ironic enough it was leaving her with both of those options at a constant state, looming over her head whenever she happened to do anything. Not to mention her panic attacks recently and even more frequently appearing in her life, despite having gone through extensive work to have tried to calm them down. Tumblestep was now frequently on her mind more than he ever had been, not only appearing in dreams but often accompanied by fleeting scents. it left her destroyed. Pinning her ears to the back of her skull the she cat bent her neck as she passed by the fresh kill, prodding a few questionable pieces and taking a few minutes to quickly pull through them and take what could no longer be eaten into a seperate pile. After her vigorous sorting she went off to bury them, properly disposing of them and officially loosing what appetite she had left. Although she knew she was absolutely starving.

Now she was left with nothing more to do than sort out in her mind what patrols she would send out next and the time she would find to take rosepaw out today. Have to finish that fishing lesson soon or he'll start to lag behind. soon after much debate the oriental tabby settled down on the slowly withering grass, setting her chin between her paws and letting out a long and deep sigh of relief. She hadn't noticed how much her paw pads where hurting, not only where they raw but constantly throbbing the minute she was off them. There was no escape from it. with a massive yawn the lanky she cat cocked her head back, her eyes squinting and muscles growing taut with a lavish stretch that extended far into her back legs and flicked off the end of her tail, finally relaxing her muscles enough to lean into the grass and settle down in the pale sunlight that stream through a thin haze of clouds. The slow sluggish movements of the clouds over the sun reminded her of the day she met tumblestep. The tall and slightly clumsy grey tomcat she had grown to love over their years of knowing each other. Being her Bestfriend and soulmate and suddenly loosing that just as she was thrust into a new world of leadership destroyed her down to the core. Her ignorance lending to the stillbirth and gradual death of three kittens from her litter. By now they would've been apprentices with shorepaw. Her heart ached and she found herself tensing up again, her teeth clamping harshly down onto the inside of her cheek and her ears pinned against the back of her skull.

She was scared and there was certainly no denying she hadn't wanted to go into this new life on her own. She supposed that's why she had chestnutfall and frostedhawk as new found friends. Especially frostedhawk who had managed to connect with her on such a level of understanding she felt her weakness reflected in him. The great loss and agony that came with loosing a mate. Her eyes drifted closed for a moment as she reflected back to the wiry grey tom and his nervous stutter, the way his green eyes could tell a deep story without even having to speak once. She felt the hotness in her ears and eyes spark up and soon enough if she kept remembering she would've ended up crying. Although catching herself in just enough time to deter it. The cream and orange coloured she cat sat back up with a long huff and as she did happened to notice the looming shadow of the leaders den, casting an ominous outline sprawling across the grass. Eerie and cold looking even from a distance. She felt a shiver trickle down her spine and even an odd chill cause her nose to wrinkle up. She wondered whether or not fallenstar was up in his tower of solitude anymore, or better yet if she could coax him outside. She felt their connection slipping through her paws as she saw him less and less, his cold blue eyes growing more relentless and almost forbidding.

The she cat bowed her head in great thought, knitting her eyebrows together and letting a sigh trickle between her teeth. Although the first few moons where rocky she knew she was getting somewhere with the mysterious leader and she was quite frankly happy to build up on that idea. She thought of him as if he where a little brother, or big brother. Honeslty she didn't know how old he was anymore. the she cat picked herself solemnly up from her place in the grass and examined the mouth of the cave with skeptical eyes. What are you looking for, it's not like he'll appear anyways. snapping out of her odd little trance the she cat padded past the freshkill pile plucking a small water vole between her teeth, nipping it on its scruff and carrying it towards the towering set of riverstones leading to the leaders den. Her paw pads gently pressed onto the cool smooth stone, sending yet another shiver racing down her back as she clambered her way up towards the mouth of the cave. Something compelled her to visit him, something awful and yet something natural she felt she needed to do all of a sudden. As she reached the entrance she stood ominously outside peering in before quickly taking a seat to the left of the opening, calling her racing heart and allowing her paws some time to rest from the pain of walking.

After a minute she cocked her head to the side, eyebrows knit together thoughtfully ' ' fallenstar? ' ' she called softly. Wrapping her rat like tail around her cream coloured paws and listening to her voice reverberate off the walls and bounce back to her in an echo. ' ' fallenstar it's me, Rowanflower ' ' she added after a minute glancing back over the clan after a minute and releasing yet another heavy sigh between her parted lips. It had been a long time since they had talked, lots had happened and was bound to start happening as time progressed and wether he liked it or not. They needed to discuss it. the Windclans leader smug smile popped into her head like a nightmare and quickly faded and she dismissed it with a low grumble, letting it slip like water off of a ducks back. She had to stop being so disturbed by his face, she was bound to end up looking at it more often than not. She had to get used to his smug smirk. ' ' I brought something to eat, I don't know if you ate already or not... ' ' she called calmly turning her head to examine the lip of the cave and frowning slightly.

Perhaps she had caught him at a bad time, or maybe he was actually sleeping for once. Which she would be overjoyed to hear about. She knew he was loosing his sleep and perhaps his mind aswell, he needed his rest no matter how much he protested it. She let out another quick yawn and settled down further agaisnt the cool stone. I guess we shall wait and see.

[Starfall]

Originally Posted by Celestial

@starfall
( ahaha, my volleyball practices are taking over my life so I'll try to get around to posting when I can, although I wouldn't expect much from me cause I just can't be that amazing and like post all the time. Unless I wake up a super human than I'm sorry to disappoint )

as the last patrols were sent off Rowanflower stood contemplating wether or not she should join the last patrol, her eyes wandering after the white tail that brought up the rear as they slipped through the gorse tunnel and lastly out of sight. No. at that the she cat had decided she wouldn't be doing any morning patrols and spun on her heels towards the center of camp. She was exhausted, the care she had taken to examine each warrior closely was gradually wearing down on her. Constantly going out of her way to intervene and possibly deter them from over working themselves into sleep deprivation or exhaustion. Ironic enough it was leaving her with both of those options at a constant state, looming over her head whenever she happened to do anything. Not to mention her panic attacks recently and even more frequently appearing in her life, despite having gone through extensive work to have tried to calm them down. Tumblestep was now frequently on her mind more than he ever had been, not only appearing in dreams but often accompanied by fleeting scents. it left her destroyed. Pinning her ears to the back of her skull the she cat bent her neck as she passed by the fresh kill, prodding a few questionable pieces and taking a few minutes to quickly pull through them and take what could no longer be eaten into a seperate pile. After her vigorous sorting she went off to bury them, properly disposing of them and officially loosing what appetite she had left. Although she knew she was absolutely starving.

Now she was left with nothing more to do than sort out in her mind what patrols she would send out next and the time she would find to take rosepaw out today. Have to finish that fishing lesson soon or he'll start to lag behind. soon after much debate the oriental tabby settled down on the slowly withering grass, setting her chin between her paws and letting out a long and deep sigh of relief. She hadn't noticed how much her paw pads where hurting, not only where they raw but constantly throbbing the minute she was off them. There was no escape from it. with a massive yawn the lanky she cat cocked her head back, her eyes squinting and muscles growing taut with a lavish stretch that extended far into her back legs and flicked off the end of her tail, finally relaxing her muscles enough to lean into the grass and settle down in the pale sunlight that stream through a thin haze of clouds. The slow sluggish movements of the clouds over the sun reminded her of the day she met tumblestep. The tall and slightly clumsy grey tomcat she had grown to love over their years of knowing each other. Being her Bestfriend and soulmate and suddenly loosing that just as she was thrust into a new world of leadership destroyed her down to the core. Her ignorance lending to the stillbirth and gradual death of three kittens from her litter. By now they would've been apprentices with shorepaw. Her heart ached and she found herself tensing up again, her teeth clamping harshly down onto the inside of her cheek and her ears pinned against the back of her skull.

She was scared and there was certainly no denying she hadn't wanted to go into this new life on her own. She supposed that's why she had chestnutfall and frostedhawk as new found friends. Especially frostedhawk who had managed to connect with her on such a level of understanding she felt her weakness reflected in him. The great loss and agony that came with loosing a mate. Her eyes drifted closed for a moment as she reflected back to the wiry grey tom and his nervous stutter, the way his green eyes could tell a deep story without even having to speak once. She felt the hotness in her ears and eyes spark up and soon enough if she kept remembering she would've ended up crying. Although catching herself in just enough time to deter it. The cream and orange coloured she cat sat back up with a long huff and as she did happened to notice the looming shadow of the leaders den, casting an ominous outline sprawling across the grass. Eerie and cold looking even from a distance. She felt a shiver trickle down her spine and even an odd chill cause her nose to wrinkle up. She wondered whether or not fallenstar was up in his tower of solitude anymore, or better yet if she could coax him outside. She felt their connection slipping through her paws as she saw him less and less, his cold blue eyes growing more relentless and almost forbidding.

The she cat bowed her head in great thought, knitting her eyebrows together and letting a sigh trickle between her teeth. Although the first few moons where rocky she knew she was getting somewhere with the mysterious leader and she was quite frankly happy to build up on that idea. She thought of him as if he where a little brother, or big brother. Honeslty she didn't know how old he was anymore. the she cat picked herself solemnly up from her place in the grass and examined the mouth of the cave with skeptical eyes. What are you looking for, it's not like he'll appear anyways. snapping out of her odd little trance the she cat padded past the freshkill pile plucking a small water vole between her teeth, nipping it on its scruff and carrying it towards the towering set of riverstones leading to the leaders den. Her paw pads gently pressed onto the cool smooth stone, sending yet another shiver racing down her back as she clambered her way up towards the mouth of the cave. Something compelled her to visit him, something awful and yet something natural she felt she needed to do all of a sudden. As she reached the entrance she stood ominously outside peering in before quickly taking a seat to the left of the opening, calling her racing heart and allowing her paws some time to rest from the pain of walking.

After a minute she cocked her head to the side, eyebrows knit together thoughtfully ' ' fallenstar? ' ' she called softly. Wrapping her rat like tail around her cream coloured paws and listening to her voice reverberate off the walls and bounce back to her in an echo. ' ' fallenstar it's me, Rowanflower ' ' she added after a minute glancing back over the clan after a minute and releasing yet another heavy sigh between her parted lips. It had been a long time since they had talked, lots had happened and was bound to start happening as time progressed and wether he liked it or not. They needed to discuss it. the Windclans leader smug smile popped into her head like a nightmare and quickly faded and she dismissed it with a low grumble, letting it slip like water off of a ducks back. She had to stop being so disturbed by his face, she was bound to end up looking at it more often than not. She had to get used to his smug smirk. ' ' I brought something to eat, I don't know if you ate already or not... ' ' she called calmly turning her head to examine the lip of the cave and frowning slightly.

Perhaps she had caught him at a bad time, or maybe he was actually sleeping for once. Which she would be overjoyed to hear about. She knew he was loosing his sleep and perhaps his mind aswell, he needed his rest no matter how much he protested it. She let out another quick yawn and settled down further agaisnt the cool stone. I guess we shall wait and see.

They were louder today. Clawing at the walls of the mind, screeching and demanding to be let out. It wasn't like he could, and if he could, he didn't know how. His paws were over his ears, tail coiled around himself, his nose buried beneath it. To say he was in pain was an understatement. He felt as though his head could split in two at any moment. All of his wounds ached. His heart was shattered. Soul crushed. And he was alone. Well. He wasn't completly alone. He still had two siblings left, Pleasentpelt and Splashcloud, and it wasn't that the leader wasn't proud of them. It was that they rarely visited. Of course he couldn't blame him, he wouldn't want to visit himself either. Pitiful mess of a leader. He accepted the deputies spot during Russetstar's ruleing because he believed he'd be able to protect his clanmates, be able to even out the higherarchey so that they'd no longer have to worry about cruel leaders. Yet here he was, still chasing away his own demons, he hadn't even started on the Clan's yet. Pitiful. Nothing but a disgrace. The ebony tom grit is teeth and curled up into an even tighter ball.

He threw his clan into chaos. He had become the very thing he swore to destroy. Now they were a fur strand length away from fighting against Windclan and Shadowclan. He was almost positive he wouldn't have Thunderclans support, and he was still unsure about Skyclan. Of course the tom was weary of Grousestar, he had seen the brown tabby holding brief conversations with the idiot Windclan leader. If Riverclan was to go up against 3 other clans, there was no hope of winning. No point in trying. All because he offered to help a clan when they were in need.

Fallenstar was ripped from his thoughts by a gentle call, the voices scattering momentairily before reverting to a low hum. The burly leader raised his head and swiveled so he could see who the visitor was. Of course he recognized the voice, but at this point, he wasn't sure if it was his mind playing tricks on him or not, hard to trust himself. After a second of just staring off towards the entrance he finally untensed and laid his head down on his paws "Come in Rowanflower." he gruffed out, voice broken, as if he had barely been using it. "And I'm not positive it'd stay down, but the thought was nice thank you." the words came out all jumbled, like an apprentice who was being tested by his mentor on all the fighting moves. He was experiancing such an odd...thing, that he couldn't even describe. He felt so hollow, yet, at the same time, he felt as though he was being crushed by a heavy weight that he just couldn't shake off, no matter what he did. It made his stomach churn and twist.

"Is there a reason for this spontaneus meeting?" he asked, lifting his head to look at the stickly deputy. Lapis hues had very little spark in them, very little light that was on the verge of being smuthered.
@Mauve
(Did I managed to slip a meme in there? Yes, Yes I did)

[Mauve]

Originally Posted by starfall

They were louder today. Clawing at the walls of the mind, screeching and demanding to be let out. It wasn't like he could, and if he could, he didn't know how. His paws were over his ears, tail coiled around himself, his nose buried beneath it. To say he was in pain was an understatement. He felt as though his head could split in two at any moment. All of his wounds ached. His heart was shattered. Soul crushed. And he was alone. Well. He wasn't completly alone. He still had two siblings left, Pleasentpelt and Splashcloud, and it wasn't that the leader wasn't proud of them. It was that they rarely visited. Of course he couldn't blame him, he wouldn't want to visit himself either. Pitiful mess of a leader. He accepted the deputies spot during Russetstar's ruleing because he believed he'd be able to protect his clanmates, be able to even out the higherarchey so that they'd no longer have to worry about cruel leaders. Yet here he was, still chasing away his own demons, he hadn't even started on the Clan's yet. Pitiful. Nothing but a disgrace. The ebony tom grit is teeth and curled up into an even tighter ball.

He threw his clan into chaos. He had become the very thing he swore to destroy. Now they were a fur strand length away from fighting against Windclan and Shadowclan. He was almost positive he wouldn't have Thunderclans support, and he was still unsure about Skyclan. Of course the tom was weary of Grousestar, he had seen the brown tabby holding brief conversations with the idiot Windclan leader. If Riverclan was to go up against 3 other clans, there was no hope of winning. No point in trying. All because he offered to help a clan when they were in need.

Fallenstar was ripped from his thoughts by a gentle call, the voices scattering momentairily before reverting to a low hum. The burly leader raised his head and swiveled so he could see who the visitor was. Of course he recognized the voice, but at this point, he wasn't sure if it was his mind playing tricks on him or not, hard to trust himself. After a second of just staring off towards the entrance he finally untensed and laid his head down on his paws "Come in Rowanflower." he gruffed out, voice broken, as if he had barely been using it. "And I'm not positive it'd stay down, but the thought was nice thank you." the words came out all jumbled, like an apprentice who was being tested by his mentor on all the fighting moves. He was experiancing such an odd...thing, that he couldn't even describe. He felt so hollow, yet, at the same time, he felt as though he was being crushed by a heavy weight that he just couldn't shake off, no matter what he did. It made his stomach churn and twist.

"Is there a reason for this spontaneus meeting?" he asked, lifting his head to look at the stickly deputy. Lapis hues had very little spark in them, very little light that was on the verge of being smuthered.
@Mauve
(Did I managed to slip a meme in there? Yes, Yes I did)

Urgency. That's what Heatherfur walked with as she bounded into the RiverClan clearing. Her heart hadn't stopped racing since she abruptly left the half-moon meeting at the Starcave. Shadows and whispers nipped at her paws with each stride as she tried to push herself faster and faster, shooting from the sacred cave back to the marshy terrain of RiverClan. Thanks to her WindClan heritage, she had made it back in a short amount of time. Her muscles ached and screamed at her to rest, to lie down, but as she came into the camp clearing the only thing she could think of was to find Fallenstar and Rowanflower. They needed to know about this. They needed to be prepared. Something disastrous was coming, and despite all of the uncertainty that had been circling this Clan for the past couple moons, they all needed to come together. Heatherfur would make sure that they all came together, if not for the sake of RiverClan, for keeping StarClan happy.

Her rushed entrance back into camp, face flustered and shoulders heaving after the run, garnered a few odd looks from her fellow Clanmates, but Heatherfur barely registered them as she wove her way to Fallenstar's den. She hadn't seen much of the RiverClan leader lately, rather getting closer to Rowanflower, his deputy. Hopefully she'll be there too, she thought with a glimmer of hope, turning on her paws a bit and making a b-line towards the mossy rock that marked the leaders' den. She didn't have time to go looking for her if she happened to be out on patrol, but her mind reassured her that the only place Fallenstar could be was his den. The black tom hadn't really left it in a couple days, save for a few appearances in the Clan here and there to make announcements. The medicine cat made a mental note to bring some strengthening herbs later; if he was getting as bad as Rowanflower told her, she needed to be there one hundred percent to support him.

"Fallenstar. I need to talk to you," the light furred tabby started, her tail swishing behind her as she entered the dimly lit den. Giving her eyes a moment to adjust, Heatherfur found that Rowanflower was, in fact, in the den as well, and instantly a slight wave of relief washed over her. The urgency from the past few hours though quickly drowned it out and it was all she could do to not shut her eyes and ears against the horrendous sounds of the storm that raged on, lingering from the vision. "Something bad is going to happen. Something to RiverClan," she blurted out, unable to contain it anymore. Seeing StarClan's territory like that - blissful one moment, then turned into a terrible storm the next - had shaken her to her core. She remembered watching the river drain into nothing, and all the fish that were in it slowly losing the life as it was ripped from them by nature. Then the one fish, the one with cat eyes, and the tremble of words; "help me". It still sent shivers down Heatherfur's spine and she looked from Rowanflower to Fallenstar, the desperate yet serious look in her eyes begging them to understand how urgent this matter was.

"When I was at the Starcave tonight, StarClan sent us a dream," She began, trying to slow her breathing so that she would be able to clearly communicate the vision. "It was so peaceful, like greenleaf. Then... This storm... There was lighting and... and trees were breaking, and thunder was shaking the entire ground. And... the river..." She had to pause. This was the source of the vision. The main thing StarClan had wished for all the medicine cats to see - perhaps for Heatherfur to see specifically. Was this why they had placed her on the path of medicine in RiverClan? There was no time to dwell over it right now. "...The river began to dry out. All of it. Gone, just like that. And the fish... They were fighting for their lives. This one fish... It looks so much like a cat. It said that 'without the rivers, the forest will run dry'." Even though she had delivered the prophecy, Heatherfur still felt an unnerving weight on her shoulders. She hadn't realized it, but her whole body had begun to shake, and a certain fear crept in. She wasn't even half-way through her medicine cat training. What if this meant war? What if cats got injured? Cats would die, and it would be her fault... This conflicting battle of thoughts raged within the depths of her green eyes as she looked at both Fallenstar and Rowanflower. "Something huge is coming. And I'm not entirely sure if RiverClan is strong enough to make it through. Not right now, at least." Forcing herself to remain still, Heather continued. "We need to come together. For the sake of RiverClan."

[BEAR.]

[ RiverClan has returned home, and all roleplays can be resumed as normal. ]

[Fawn]

Cedarsprint paced the clearing of the RiverClan camp, ignoring the questioning stares of clanmates and any concerned whispers exchanged in his regard, too focused on an undeniable conclusion fabricated by weaving careful evidence of it together: Fallenstar didn't like him anymore, didn't care about him. His whereabouts were met with nonchalance the last time they'd crossed paths and after that, it'd almost felt like the burly tom was avoiding him. What was he supposed to do with that? Certainly, he knew he could've been a better friend and clanmate, but he didn't think he deserved this indifference, and he could safely determine that any cat who thought the opposite of love was hate had never experienced this sort of cold dejection. It left him with anxiety and uneasiness where the usual warmth of their longstanding albeit tumultuous friendship was.

In his mind, he'd generated a list of wrongdoings that had possibly led to this unfavorable outcome, a checklist of his flaws - Cedarsprint deemed them his mistakes and either there was a major offense among them or collectively, they'd compounded to make Fallenstar cut him from his life. And while he hadn't intended on a confrontation, he couldn't take it, needed to know, because another sleepless night might just do him in.

Approaching Fallenstar's den, Cedarsprint cleared his throat and realized he hadn't exactly planned this far. It was a daunting enough task to work up the courage to demand answers and find out why he'd been plucked from Fallenstar's pad of friendship like a thorn, but to actually trigger the discussion... Well, he'd forgotten that required planning beyond his mistake list. "Fallenstar," he meowed in greeting and walked the rest of the way inside, eyes adjusting to the dimmed evening light. "I... wanted to talk to you." Good, he told himself, this wasn't half bad so far, but his introduction was derailed as he saw the wounds marking Fallenstar's shoulders. Jaw tightening, he very classily stared at it for longer than what might otherwise be acceptable and mumbled a few words of sympathy. "But, like I was saying- this, it's important. I'm wondering why things with us have been..." he trailed off and wrinkled his nose, making a deflated-type noise as if to capture the state of their relationship. "Anyway," he coughed, "I'm guessing it's because... one, I didn't fight the dog to the extent that I should have. Yeah, I was a little rattled and the walking koi fish was already on it, but still. I get it. I messed up there. But maybe it was because... I didn't get out of the tree fast enough? That one's kind of my fault too, I probably shouldn't be such a whiny kit about that but see- it all goes back to my apprenticeship..." Shaking his head as if to clear away the thought, he figured he might as well move on. "Or third, is it because I called you 'Fallenstream'? I mean, it's a nice name, but I can see why that might be insulting now. And finally, fourth, maybe... maybe it's because I wasn't around as much as I should have been recently."

@Starfall

[Starfall]

Originally Posted by Dipper

Cedarsprint paced the clearing of the RiverClan camp, ignoring the questioning stares of clanmates and any concerned whispers exchanged in his regard, too focused on an undeniable conclusion fabricated by weaving careful evidence of it together: Fallenstar didn't like him anymore, didn't care about him. His whereabouts were met with nonchalance the last time they'd crossed paths and after that, it'd almost felt like the burly tom was avoiding him. What was he supposed to do with that? Certainly, he knew he could've been a better friend and clanmate, but he didn't think he deserved this indifference, and he could safely determine that any cat who thought the opposite of love was hate had never experienced this sort of cold dejection. It left him with anxiety and uneasiness where the usual warmth of their longstanding albeit tumultuous friendship was.

In his mind, he'd generated a list of wrongdoings that had possibly led to this unfavorable outcome, a checklist of his flaws - Cedarsprint deemed them his mistakes and either there was a major offense among them or collectively, they'd compounded to make Fallenstar cut him from his life. And while he hadn't intended on a confrontation, he couldn't take it, needed to know, because another sleepless night might just do him in.

Approaching Fallenstar's den, Cedarsprint cleared his throat and realized he hadn't exactly planned this far. It was a daunting enough task to work up the courage to demand answers and find out why he'd been plucked from Fallenstar's pad of friendship like a thorn, but to actually trigger the discussion... Well, he'd forgotten that required planning beyond his mistake list. "Fallenstar," he meowed in greeting and walked the rest of the way inside, eyes adjusting to the dimmed evening light. "I... wanted to talk to you." Good, he told himself, this wasn't half bad so far, but his introduction was derailed as he saw the wounds marking Fallenstar's shoulders. Jaw tightening, he very classily stared at it for longer than what might otherwise be acceptable and mumbled a few words of sympathy. "But, like I was saying- this, it's important. I'm wondering why things with us have been..." he trailed off and wrinkled his nose, making a deflated-type noise as if to capture the state of their relationship. "Anyway," he coughed, "I'm guessing it's because... one, I didn't fight the dog to the extent that I should have. Yeah, I was a little rattled and the walking koi fish was already on it, but still. I get it. I messed up there. But maybe it was because... I didn't get out of the tree fast enough? That one's kind of my fault too, I probably shouldn't be such a whiny kit about that but see- it all goes back to my apprenticeship..." Shaking his head as if to clear away the thought, he figured he might as well move on. "Or third, is it because I called you 'Fallenstream'? I mean, it's a nice name, but I can see why that might be insulting now. And finally, fourth, maybe... maybe it's because I wasn't around as much as I should have been recently."

@Starfall

His wounds ached. Shoulders burned, lungs burned, head burned. His whole body was sore, fighting off those two deputies were a little more difficult than he originally thought. However, he managed to ... well, Windygale was dead. Of course it was all still nothing more than a blur, like he wasn't the one controlling his own body. One second he was shoving the cream tom away, the next the forest floor was red. Whenever he thought about it his head started pounding.

He had been curled into himself, nestled into his moss littered nest. His whole body felt like it had been crushed by boulders, he wanted to sleep so badly. The whispers of accusation and worry buzzing about kept him from doing so. However, he didn't get any more time to ponder on it, a familiar voice echoing in the empty den. The leader lifted his head, though he could only lift it slightly, a soft shock of pain ripping through his body.He settled for resting his chin on the very edge of his nest. He was too tired to try and process how he felt about his childhood friend suddenly in here once more.

Lapis optics watched as the brown tabby shuffled in, knowing that he needn't be invited in like most others. Save him a few painful breaths. The ebony tom listened as his friend babbled on about thoughtless concerns, mumbling about things he didn't understand. With a sigh, he shifted into a more comfortable position. "Cedarsprint." he mumbled. However the warrior didn't hear the call. "Cedarsprint." this time a little louder. Once again the call went right over the toms head. Fallenstar listened onto his friends babbling, an exhausted look plastered on his face. "Cedarsprint!" he shouted, voice hoarse from all the yelling he had done. "What in the name of Starclan are you talking about? Why would I be angry that you called me by my warrior name?" the question ended in a sigh and a shake of a head. "Nevermind. Whatever it is you're babbling on about, there's something a little more important that I gotta ask." he huffed, ignoring the last point the warrior named. It made his heart ache, he didn't wish to confront it.

The leader picked himself up on wobbly legs, ashamed that it was taking so much effort to just pick himself up. His bones were screaming at him. Muscles wailed. He had been thinking about it for a while now, since he had retrieved ... or more accurately stumbled upon Cedarsprint. He was unphased by what had been happening, he was a fresh face, a fresh outlook on what was happening. All the decisions he made did nothing but bring ruin upon the clan. He allied with Thunderclan, and he got backlash for it. He brought the issue up, and they were driven out of their territory. They fight over the borders, fighting for the pitiful land they were driven to, and a kit gets killed in a raid. Daisyshade died, Heatherfur dissapeared. He was all alone.

"I'm calling a clan meeting. And announcing our new deputy." he huffed, staggering towards the entrance of his den. He refused to look the warrior in the eyes. "So get yourself presentable, there's going to be a lot of eyes on you here pretty soon." he gruffed out. He needed to stop for a second, resting himself against the cold stone. "You're going to be Riverclans new deputy."