[wren]

Originally Posted by Lonestar23

Her words fell on deaf ears. Charmpelt couldn't hear her apology, he couldn't hear anything but what he wanted to. He could only hear things that didn't sound right, that sounded wrong to him. Shiverlight's voice was coming out in a way that was... different. It was almost rough, metallic-sounding to him, and slower. The world around him was slower. His stomach hurt, his eyes were blurred with unshed tears, and yet he still couldn't put his pride aside and admit that perhaps Shiverlight was right. "Please, don't - don't tell me that. Don't ever use that word in front of me again. If I thought you really loved me, then... things would be different. Maybe. But you can't, Shiverlight - even if you did, it's wrong to your mate. You have a mate. So love him. And if you can't, then at least try to."

He was worn out. Tired of fighting, his throat raw from yelling, and his stance relaxing - or drooping - now that he felt like he had just fought a hundred battles. It felt like Charmpelt couldn't have gone two steps without falling down now. For him, this was the worst thing that could have happened. Perhaps, if he didn't love her, he would have tricked her. Said "forget your mate, don't you want to be with me?" But he couldn't do that now... because he cared too much. He couldn't just use her until she got old, then send her running back to her mate. He needed to cut off all ties with her now, because if he could, then she could start a new life. One where she would never worry about being caught. One where she would have a good mate, and a good family. Charmpelt... well... he wasn't sure he could give her anything like that. Her next words took that utter depression from him and pushed it away, made him angrier then before, and for a moment - he felt like his old self again.

He felt like snarling, like putting the blame on every other cat, like making sure Shiverlight knew just how bad she was by doing something like this to him. He knew that there was a way he could make her feel worse, and perhaps he would have used it... perhaps. But surprisingly, what he said next was not the worst thing that entered his mind. "You don't know that! You don't know that we would have been driven out, you don't know who would have been the one to discover it! Has it ever occured to you, ShadowClanner, that there's a way we could have made this work?" Charmpelt asked, his eyes dark and dangerous and furious, his tail lashing back and forth, stance tense and ready to spring at any second as he questioned the she cat. Shiverlight. She broke his heart, she made him feel things he hadn't in moons, and now she had the audacity to come back here and face him? But then she spoke again, and there was a crack in her voice that Charmpelt could only describe as matching the one in his heart.

For a moment, all anger disappeared and he wanted to step across the border and comfort her. To make everything okay again. Oh, what had happened to the days when he could just flirt with her without a care? Now he cared too much... and he needed to make sure that she was okay. That he hadn't really hurt her. "I'm sorry." It was all he could say right then, and the words were spoken calmly, carefully. What else could he say? Charmpelt could be nothing but sorry, and he wanted to help Shiverlight. "What can I do... to fix this." The words were phrased as a statement, not a question, but he meant it as one. He didn't even take note of her anger, shrugging it off as he watched the she cat he loved.

The she cat who... said she loved him. It was a little hard for him to believe, but there was no time for doubts now. The only thing there was time for was fixing this. It needed to be done. If Charmpelt could fix a broken relationship, one that didn't have much chance of surviving... perhaps there was something right he could do. And then he could move on, from Shiverlight, knowing that she was happy with her new mate and family. It would be absolutely perfect.

[ It's a little short but I'm too tired to do anything too long ]

Admittedly the words hit harder than she had expected and she was almost literally left staggering after he finished talking. Her tail lashed and she raised her head to stare directly at him, eyes glinting with tears. "Why not?" she said defiantly. She stepped towards him claws scraping the snow. "You afraid of that word? Afraid that maybe it's true, that maybe he doesn't love me either?" she snapped. Don't say it, don't say it. she bit down on her tongue and glanced over her shoulder towards the border. Her stomach flipped inside her and her paws tingled. "He hits me..." her voice was so low, almost a whisper. Her expression seemed dull and suddenly the fire died out of her eyes "He does. He doesn't love me, I don't love him" she fell silent again shaking out her thoughts for a moment.

Everything that had been said already was like a blow to the chest, winding her and leaving her absolutely speechless. This was one of these moments where she was forced to just stand there, looking dumb with her gaze fixed on her paws. A moment in time where she looked like an apprentice being scolded. Than the she cat shook her head a second time her ears flopping back and fourth before fixing her steel grey gaze on the brown tom again. Her tail curled by her flank once more her ears perked listening for what he would say.

Shiverlight let out a dull laugh, "Somehow we could have made this work? Oh yeah like we could just keep doing this and have that redflight and scorpionsting thing happen all over again?!" she said with a snort. She raised her head and laughed again this time rearing her head backwards "hey, why not bring all of shadowclan this time. Goldenstar and halfgaze! Oh joy why not even bring Fallenstar in it- just for fun!" she snickered her tail lashing with amusement. "Sure it could be kept a secret, no don't worry the patrols won't notice our scent. No no and hey mysterious kits? Why bother checking in on it!" she spat this time her fur bristling and all of guilt fading away in an instant. She laughed again dropping her head and shaking it slowly "tell me, how exactly would that have worked?" she asked this time looking up at him her eyes glazed with amusement, her whiskers twitching as she studied him.

She suddenly stopped joking- her mouth closed up and her ears pinned to the back of her head. She blinked. I'm sorry. the only words she had wanted to hear all day- and perhaps the words she would have to say back. The fur on her back have a slight jerk as a muscle tensed up and released beneath her blue fur. Her paws shuffled and for another minute she simply stood staring at him, instead of amusement, hatred, anger and frustration her gaze was filled with extreme shock and concern. "I- I don't know how to fix this" she breathed, her voice coming out distressed and weakened. "I wanna fix this... But I just don't know how we can..." she stammered looking away quickly her face becomeing flushed. He cares.