Heaven knows I'm miserable now... [P]

[Poprock]

Peachfrost

 

EXTREME depression, bloodlust, self resentment, all things bad, religious trauma (?) death, choking, drowning uhhhhh basically anything you need a tw for its probs here bls be v careful while reading this ily <3

Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill....

The creature once known as Peachfrost had but one thought. No longer did she bother eating. It was a waste of time. Drinking, sleeping, cleaning... all the same. Just distractions from her goal. Kill. Find Him. Kill him. She had scoured the territories borders and outskirts for moons with no trace... but that would not stop the beast. The heavy rain that poured from the heavens would not slow the beast. She would not stop until she avenged them. Until... until...........

The creature fell, lying flat on her side into the marshy earth below. Her eyes blinked once, noting the world around her growing darker and darker... until.... nothingness.....
----

Peachfrost awoke with a start, scrambling onto her paws like she had been shocked. Where was she??? It was dark, so unfathomably dark that she could not see her own whiskers. She had never been scared of the unknown, but this? This was different. Terrifying. No noise reached her ears, not even her own breaths. She was completely isolated from the world. That was until a sudden smell entered her nose; grabbing it like a fishhook and yanking her towards... something. Peachfrost had no fight in her to resist, simply staggering over to watch the scene before her unfold.

Sweet Cowpaw sat in his den, quietly experimenting with different herbs to see which worked best. She could practically see the gears turning in his mind as he worked, endearingly talking to himself as he went. Alarm bells in her mind went off distantly, but she pushed them away. Seeing him here? Like this? All she wanted to do was watch.

She had been so similar in the beginning, bright eyed and bushy tailed (if not a bit too sassy for her own good). The clan looked to her for help, and she relied on them all the same. But she was so… hungry. Hungry for answers. Couldn’t focus on the job she had been “blessed” with. Why me? Why was I chosen? Why is Starclan silent? And why did they allow the Dark Forest to corrupt him so? Peachfrost wanted to remember her successor like this. Before she knew of everything he would do. Before he turned into the monster she had failed to hunt down. Before... she turned into the same.

The fuzzy image of Cowpaw poofed away like smoke, wisps of black and white dancing into nothingness. It took no more than a blink of her eyes for new colors to form, quickly taking a sleek lilac shape.. Darker dapples wrapped around the form like a blanket; topped off with icy blue eyes that seemed to stare into her soul. Was it… her sister? Vengeance radiated off of the smoky form of Bravebird like fog; so much that Peachfrost had to strain her eyes to see. It was thick and heavy, sticking to her skin like a pool of honey. It slunk into her ears and her eyes like a parasite. It scraped against her throat like nails against flesh, bringing tears to her dull green eyes. Despite her wails and protests, she could feel it inside her mind, fogging each and every bit until she could barely process the pain. It was all murky fog. It reeked of smoke. Of fire. That same fire that burned in their hearts for the destruction of Shadowclan. That fire brought them together as sisters in war. That fire took her home, her sister away from her.

Peachfrost wanted to run away from the suffocation it brought; until the air was clear and her lungs were no longer ablaze in agony. But her paws had other plans. They stayed still as stone, unmoving as the rest of her limbs gave out. Her large body fell to the ground, crushing her unmoving paws beneath her weight. She was... stuck. Held down by an immoveable weight so heavy that not a single muscle could move. Her burning eyes could not look away as the fog swallowed up the vision of Bravebird; disappointed blue eyes glaring down at Peachfrost for a moment after the rest of her body disappeared.

She was stuck lying in nothingness for what felt like an eternity. Every breath in she took felt like a thousand boulders sat on her lungs, every breath out felt useless. The fog within her still remained. Why... why is this happening to me.... The Maine coon thought pitifully. Why had the stars cursed her into this life? A life of suffering and pain and agony and loss? The molly clenched her eyes shut, hating the hot wetness that slid down her face. Bravebird was gone, Cowpaw was gone, Creamcloud, Fluffybee, Snakeheart, Iciclecrash, Rowanpaw, Fallownose, Twi, Skyleaf... they were all gone. So why was she still here? There was no one left for her.

A sudden glow of light in the void - shocking the molly out of her anguish. If only for a moment. A wave of comfort washed over her unmoving body like a wave from the sea, and Peachfrost knew exactly who stood before her. The glow, soft on her pupils despite the stark contrast with her surroundings was Berryfrost. Sweet, kind, perfect Berryfrost. A heart of gold, a spirit made of pure love, wrapped in a pelt of spots and completed with a bright smile. A smile that brought light to all who were blessed enough to see it. Peachfrost loved that light her daughter carried so much. No matter what triumphs she had gone through... no matter how much pain this stars forsaken world put her through, Berryfrost still smiled. Peachfrost could die knowing Berryfrost would shine her light on all of Windclan for seasons to come. The cream warrior shut her eyes slowly, happy that the last thing she would see would be the warm glow of Berryfrost.

But Starclan wasn't that kind, and Berryfrost had died moons ago. No matter how badly she willed herself to keep her eyes shut... they still slowly opened. Like they were being pried open. Because the Stars couldn't let her go without playing one last cruel joke.
No longer was Berryfrost shining above her, now her daughter lay in the same uncomfortable post that Peachfrost had found herself in. Eyes dull and open. Body still. Heart unbeating. Dead. Poisoned. Rotted. Ruined.

Please let me go, please I need to-- She's... oh skies thats my daughter!!! She willed whatever that kept her here could hear her thoughts. Her mouth still could not move, her lungs could not muster up any air to scream. Only her eyes could stare at her poisoned daughter. That beautiful warm glow slowly diminished, until Berryfrost's body succumbed to the void. Lost to Peachfrost forever.

Now she was alone once more.

Suddenly all feeling came back to her body, almost as if the thing that had kept her pinned for so long had felt pity for her. It made her sick.

"...I don't need your h-help." She spat into the void, slowly getting back on her paws. "I don't need your pity. Nobody cares about me, nobody stays with me! So I- I don't need anyone."

It was then that Peachfrost decided. Whatever cruel game Starclan or the Dark Forest or who ever else was playing, she would have no part in. She wouldn't be a pawn in their tricks like everyone else. She was better. She would come back again and again and again. But this time? Peachfrost... whoever she will become... will live the life she wants. She won't serve the clans, won't serve the stars, won't serve anyone but herself. And when that time comes that her new life dies? She'll become a spirit far greater than any Starclan being, any Dark Forest phatom. And she will rip them apart from the inside out. That resentment - that dark need for revenge for herself and everyone she's ever loved - is the last thing Peachfrost feels before her spirit fades into the darkness like everyone else before her.

The empty shell she leaves behind in the real world floats face down in the river that runs through Windclan's territory. Whatever it held within itself is long gone.

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@taillow IFFFF you still wanted Brave to bury her sister, whatever you do with her body is up to you! But no pressure if youre not feeling it! I figured she had drowned somewhere upstream and floated into wc territory to make it easier for their um... reunion LOLZ. Anyways rip my fav character Peachfrost I'll treasure you forever <3