Real friends, good friends are hard to find, let's face it..

[Tiabirb]

Sweetsong
----------------


Her paws carried her as swiftly as they could. She had waited to be here again, waited to see him again. Her heart felt like it was threatening to escape from her chest as her small ginger tabby frame hopped through the grasses of the starlit meadow. She had started in her dream this time, but after a moment of meditation, she had felt that familiar pull, that thread of life that drew her to the beach they had parted ways from.

She wasn't sure when her dream crossed over to his, but the beach was familiar, and she sat down on the shoreline to wait for her friend. She hoped he wouldn't be long...
His story, she wanted to hear it, she wanted to see him release the feelings inside through his words and eyes. Not to experience his pain for her pleasure, but to feel it for herself, so she could understand it.

But her eyes kept flickering nervously to the shadows at the edges of her vision. Would...she appear again? She doubted it, but Sweetsong couldn't help but feel on edge while she waited.

@SpiritedWarrior

[SpiritedWarrior]

Crowpaw
Purrks: Heightened Perception and Agatha Kitty
@Tiabirb

Crowpaw wanted nothing more than to see his friend again. Rival Clanners as they were, no one could stop them from visiting in their dreams. Once he had slipped into his nightmare, as he had many times before, the young tom made his way to the beach, where he hoped to see Sweetsong, the small and sleek golden tabby. The words Poisonberry spoke previously were still hanging over his mind, but he would not acknowledge them when he had one thing on his mind today: letting his story be told to the one who would listen.

Sweetsong promised him she'd hear him the next dream they had together, and that's what was happening. He heard the shuffle of her paws on the sand as he approached the vast expanse of the endless lake and messy sand beneath his toes. The young tombs eyes were eager to see the she-cat once more, and he was not disappointed. There she was, golden pelt and soft eyes, sitting in front of the water.

He let out a purr as he approached and sat beside her, waiting a few short moments before speaking. "Hey." His teeth appeared in a smile as he took in the ocean's waves lapping at the sand. "Glad you came for me... how are you? All well in RiverClan?"

[Tiabirb]

Sweetsong
--------------

Her head turned when she heard his pawsteps, and she beamed, giving him an open, welcoming smile. Sweetsong watched him get settled, and then she looked out over the water as well. "Oh, things are looking up. I think. Growing strong again. Personally I am terrified, but i-it's my own fault..." She let out a small, timid chuckle. "And yourself, Crowpaw?" She purred his name, pushing away the lingering tendrils of anxiety. "How have you been since we last spoke? No scorching tone? No mean scowl? Tsk tsk, are you really Crowpaw?"


She was teasing him gently, and oh did those eyes shine as she looked up at him. "I'm glad we're here again. I'm ready to listen; I do apologize for declining before...I spent much of...our dream battling the..er...elements." She chuckled softly, waving a paw as if brushing away the memory. "I am much more prepared to hear you now. I hope that is alright." She looked down, and then she rose to her paws and took a few steps back. "One moment, I'll allow us to get comfortable." She purred.

For the next few minutes the small pale ginger tabby was working the sand, pushing and molding and circling until a shallow dip was formed, with a packed, sloping wall on the side of the sea. It was large enough for two cats to lay in, stretch out even, and Sweetsong looked up at Crowpaw and waved her tail, "Sometimes I like to make a sand-nest by the river. On warm days the sand is nice and cool underneath, and the sun is warm above. If I get too warm on my back I roll over and instantly cool down." She twitched her whiskers with amusement, waiting expectantly.

@SpiritedWarrior

[SpiritedWarrior]

Crowpaw
Purrks: Heightened Perception and Agatha Kitty
@Tiabirb

A short and sweet laugh escaped him as he was teased by his friend. She was right though, this time there was no hostile tone or readiness to shred someone. Last time he was. “I’m glad RiverClan’s doing okay now. ThunderClan gave you guys a hard time with the raids and all.”

The young tom shrugged his shoulders and tilted his head slightly to the left before righting it. “Yeah! Uh… yeah, it’s all right.” Crowpaw twitched his whiskers and stood up to watch as Sweetsong rose to her paws and dug out a hole in the sand. Would the hole be there next time they dreamed of being together here on the sandy beach? Probably, considering this was his dream and therefore he had the ability to control what stayed and what went. That’s how dreams work, right? I think that’s how… ah well, if I come here sooner than Sweetsong does next time, and the hole’s not here, I’ll remake it.

”It sounds like a good way to relax.” And it kind of sounds like a great way to sunbathe… Crowpaw has never sunbathed, if he was really honest with himself. He was always in the apprentice’s den sulking about life. He settled down beside his friend and took a moment to think about what he’d say. Oh, gosh, am I really doing this? A mere anxiety-induced moment occurred, but much like the thought about Poisonberry, he cast it aside and set his mind on tonight’s discussion.

He looked at the mound of sand, as if looking for somewhere to begin, before setting his green gaze on the smaller she-cat. “I was born in ThunderClan’s nursery to Quailfur along my sisters: Quietkit and Fallowkit. I was the oldest of us. My father, Thrushfur, didn’t visit us very much, but he always brought us something when he did whether it was for me and my littermates or for my mother.”

“Life was all right for a while… we got along great. I play fought with my sisters and we had fun in the nursery. Everything changed after I made a mistake though…” Crowpaw looked down at his paws for a brief second before continuing. “When I was four moons old, I had snuck out of the nursery to watch the meeting… my father was attending it, so it’s not like I was going to watch it with all these cats I didn’t know. Um… m-my father explained who the high ranks were: Cinderstar, Sparrowflight, and Sundust. That same meeting, Cinderstar stepped down from leadership and Sparrowflight became the leader.”

He chuckled at the memory, “I guess my little kit brain was so overwhelmed by the change in ranks that I- I, uh… I fainted. It was only for a little bit I think, but my dad knew it was enough. He told me to go back to the nursery, and I did because I didn’t want to risk getting so overwhelmed again. When I got back inside the nursery, m-my mom… s-she yelled at me for a good bit. She was so upset with me that m-my sisters practically sat on top of me to shield me from her and begged her to apologize to me.”

“I was a hot mess… my nose was running and of course I was crying. But my mom- she apologized for making me so upset and cleaned my face up. After that I told her what I saw… and we had a good time after that.” Crowpaw awkwardly smiled and looked at his chest fur. “Unfortunately, those were probably the last good moments I had with my whole family.”

Looking back up again, this time with tears at the corners of his eyes, he resumed speaking, “Shortly after that, my sister Quietkit disappeared. No where to be found in the camp. And she wasn’t anywhere in the territory. I was beside myself… I’ve always seen it as my fault. I’m her big brother- I’m supposed to be the example to my sisters. I’m supposed to be someone they could look up to. And I didn’t… I just showed her that it was possible to get out of mom’s sight. I carried that burden for- well, since then.”

Oh, boy this was a lot. Crowpaw felt his body release a few tears, but he did nothing to stop them. “Fallowkit left shortly after too… and my adopted sister, Lavenderkit, she- she was adopted somewhere in my fifth moon, I can’t remember exactly when. She was blind. A-anyw-way… my parents were late to mine and Lavenderkit’s apprentice ceremonies. I was renamed to Rainpaw because there was already a Crowpaw in the Clan and my adopted sister became Lavenderpaw. I don’t remember who her mentor was, but I was assigned t-to a tom named Bumbleflight.”

He never did like Bumbleflight very much. The tom was too… serious. And grumpy. “We got along fine… until I brought up my worries for my littermates. I tried to get some sort of comfort- mostly because my parents never offered any. All I got in return was a smack to the head and a scolding.”

“He covered a good chunk of my training, but he left later on and I was reassigned to a cat named Littlelion. I didn’t get to know them well enough to really form an opinion, but they taught me how to climb trees. Shortly after Littlelion went missing, my other adopted sister- she was adopted much later in life- Flameheart accompanied me into the territory to see if we could find my sisters. I highly doubted we could find them… but we managed to find Quietkit close to the WindClan border.”

He took a long pause, recounting the day his little sister was found. Her frail image was etched in his mind. ”She was… covered in scars and extremely skinny. She was cold, too. It was leaf-bare when we found her. I laid with her while Flameheart and I tried to find out what happened and where she had been- but it was difficult. She wasn’t able to talk… physically, I mean.”

“But we brought her back to ThunderClan… I made her a nest in the nursery, got her something to eat, and my parents were overjoyed that she was back home. We all slept with her that night. But…” a scowl formed on his face. A scowl of anger and disappointment. “After that night… Thrushfur and Quailfur ignored her existence. It was like she never returned. I was pissed off with their behavior and beyond disgusted. I mean- h-how could any parent be so- so so so SELFISH?!” He took another long pause, having noticed he had dug his claws into the sand, and sheathed them. “I was the only one in the whole of ThunderClan to learn paw-language so that I could communicate with my little sister. My parents? Tch, they weren’t even interested in learning how to communicate with their own daughter. She was their DAUGHTER, for star’s sake! A daughter they had thought to have been dead for 3 moons!”

The brown tabby inhaled his frustrations and swallowed them down. He would need the energy for the rest of his story. ”My father was chosen as Sparrowstar’s deputy after Quietkit returned. And when my little sister was recovered enough, she became an apprentice with a warrior called Sootfur as her mentor.”

“I couldn’t express to you how much I hated the moment my asshole of a father became deputy. When I talked to Sparrowstar about it, she said she chose him because he was ambitious. In that same conversation, she said it was natural for toms to stray away from their kits… but that was not an excuse I accepted. I just didn’t argue with her any further.”

[Tiabirb]

Sweetsong
-----------------


She listened, but every so often she would draw a quick line in the sand with her claw, marking a point where his emotions seemed to spike. She remained quiet while he spoke, but her eyes hardly left him, watching and observing how each word affected him. It had been quite chaotic in his Clan, with leadership changes and cats missing. She reflected that it could be quite disastrous for such rapid changes in leadership, given the state of RiverClan's own rapid leadership changes...and their lack of deputy and medicine cat roles. She wasn't sure when Birdsnow would meet with StarClan, but so far she was doing well..


"Gracious," She murmured after a while, "Truly such a tragic tale," She closed her eyes, then opened them again to look at the marks in the sand. Eight total. A high mark, in her opinion. All of this was still very much fresh and processing for the younger tom, and she sighed heavily.
"Your losses are great, and your anguish is real, Crowpaw..." Sweetsong murmured, setting her paw over the marks. "Do you know why we have leafbare, Crowpaw? The harshest, coldest, and most unforgiving season?" Green eyes turned up to Crowpaw. "Many would say that it's unnecessary, useless and only a problem...but that's not true. It is the season of deep rest, the time when the world goes to sleep, so that it can grow stronger when newleaf comes...the struggles we endure during the this time of rest are only temporary."


Her eyes glowed softly, and she moved her paw, clearing away the lines in the sand. "You are in your own personal leafbare, my dear...and every cat experiences this at least once...some do not come out of it...but for you?" She chuckled, lifting the same small white paw and placing it over his heart, "Newleaf will come again...and you will be stronger than ever when it does."

@SpiritedWarrior

[SpiritedWarrior]

Crowpaw
Purrks: Heightened Perception and Agatha Kitty
@Tiabirb

He sat there and listened to Sweetsong react to his story... or the first part of it, anyway. She didn't say all that much, and neither did he once she started speaking. It really was a tragic tale, but the RiverClanner didn't even know the majority of his story. There was still so much to say, but he waited out of curtesy. She says that he will come out of this... this 'leaf-bare,' but he didn't entirely know when he would. I just hope it's soon. The golden tabby had made eight marks in the sand, but he didn't know why. What was even more confusing was when those marks were erased.

"That's not even the half of it." Crowpaw spoke in a low volume. Not quite a murmur, but close. "I was eight moons old when Thrushfur became ThunderClan's deputy... and that was just the beginning of m-my... my 'leaf-bare'."

"From my eight moon to my tenth... my parents and I argued back and forth. Constantly... especially Thrushfur and I. We had to have argued at least four or five times. All of them about how he neglected me and my sister. I tried so hard to give my sister the life I didn't have. I stopped training just because I wanted to spend time with my sister. Bond with her, y'know. My sister... she hadn't been an apprentice for very long... and in the back of my mind, I'll always blame Sootfur for it." Crowpaw's tears flowed freely once more, one after another, as he remembered everything that happened.

"She didn't know she couldn't go out of camp on her own... it's against the rules for everyone's safety. And that day... it proved exactly why that rule was set in place." Crowpaw's breath was shaky as he tried his best to control his voice. "O-one day... I- I couldn't find her anywhere in the camp. I... I- I was scared, naturally. Last time she was out of camp, I didn't see her for a while."

C'mon Crowpaw, don't beat around the bush. "I yowled for her... multiple times. When she didn't come, I- I decided to just break the rule and go out of camp on my own. I... I didn't stray far. Quietpaw was just outside the camp walls behind the apprentice den I think. It's still leaf-bare during this time, so it was cold..." He sighed and wiped his tears with a paw. "It took me a while to convince her, but I finally managed to get her to agree to come back into the camp. When we were on our way to... to the entrance, we heard something. Something I didn't hear until that day."

"I didn't know what it was at the time because I never saw one before... it was a fox. A hungry one. We were both absolutely terrified... but I knew we couldn't just go back into the camp- it'd put everyone's lives at risk. I... I didn't know how to fight anything yet. So... I- I told Quietpaw to run. I ran with her to the nearest tree. I asked her if she knew how to climb- she nodded yes, so... so we tried our best to run to safety."

"But before I knew it, I was shoved to the ground. Forced to watch as that fox ripped her to shreds. I- I can't even begin to tell you what she looked like... it was horrific. The snow was dyed red in her blood. As soon as I could, though, I... I attacked the fox's face. Try to save Quietpaw's life, y'know... that's- t-that's how I got these scars... It shredded my ear, made me half-blind in my eye." Crowpaw flicked the tip of his tail. "I managed to get it a few tail-lengths away from my sister... and then as soon as I could, I grabbed my sister and ran up the tree to the closest branch that wasn't within jumping distance for that fox."

Crowpaw laid his head on his paws and let out a few shuddering breaths before speaking again. "I... I looked in the leaves and on the bark. There was no cobwebs or anything I could use to stop the bleeding... so I used the n-next best thing. M-myself... I laid on her to try- t-try to stop all the blood from coming out. I tried my best not to cry... y'know, so I could be support she needed in her final moments. All while the fox was... was tried to get to us."

"She was s-so scared... She didn't want to leave me. B-but I told her it was okay... because I would never leave her. I promised her that I would never leave her. Y-you could say I swore it... like a warrior swearing their vows. She died... in my paws. On that tree branch. Once- o-one o-once that fox was g-gone... I- I grabbed her body and left the tree. Made my way into camp." The young tom sniffed and wiped his nose. "When I reached the center of the clearing... or close to it, at least, I j-just... I lost it. All the control I had over- over my emotions- just... gone. My mother and my friend- Cinderpaw (the medicine cat apprentice at the time) were the first to reach me. My father followed and so did the rest of the Clan. When I looked up to see my mother over my sister's body... I felt so much anger... I didn't think she deserved to be there. Not when she had neglected my sister and I just as much as my father had. Not when she didn't have a relationship with Quietpaw."

"I... I didn't care who was watching. I didn't care who was there. I just- I did the only thing I thought of and went to attack her. Cinderpaw held me back and I attacked her instead... until I realized who I was attacking. I stopped and... and hugged her. I think that's when my body finally relaxed... I went to the medicine den a little while after that... after I made sure her body would not be moved from the clearing."

"I didn't clean any of the blood off my fur for moons. It was an absolute mess, but... I- I couldn't look at my chest without thinking of her death. Without thinking of what we both went through. I rarely drank water... just so I didn't have to look at my reflection." Crowpaw readjusted himself and laid on his side to stretch out his hind legs. "T-then... I- I got apprenticed to Sootfur- y'know... the cat I thought (and still think) who's at fault for my sister being out there. He took a small patrol, consisting of his mate and another warrior named Sorreldust, out of camp to kill the fox that killed my sister. I tried to go with them, but Sootfur refused- no matter how much I tried to convince him. We argued... and in the end, they left without me."

Looking back, it was reasonable to be left behind. Crowpaw's mind was just too clouded at the time to see any sort of reason. "I was... pissed. But what could I do? Nothing... just sit in camp. Time went by and Cinderpaw hosted a battle training event. Thinking of it as the perfect opportunity to learn how to fight, because I didn't want to learn anything Sootfur taught me at the time, I participated in it. It would at least get me one step closer to warrior hood."

"A moon later- a moon- passed since the fox and my sister's death. And one day... I just happen to look over at my mother. Her stomach was twice the size it usually was." Crowpaw spat the words as if they were venom. "While I was mourning the loss of my sister... refusing to take care of myself... mind you- I was mourning without any sort of comfort from anyone- my mother and father decided to have another litter. They didn't even discuss it with me... t-they just- they did it. As if my feelings didn't matter in the situation."

"I was... I was beyond pissed with the both of them. It felt like my sisters were being replaced. And I couldn't do anything about it. Not a single damn thing. My mother moved to the nursery... and not long after, she kitted. I was with her when she was kitting. Not my father! No... he was off doing his own thing like he always did. My mother gave birth to my brothers: Bluetkit and Archkit; and my sister: Bluekit. My brothers died as soon as they were born. And my mother? S-she only had enough time to name them all... b-before she died. And because she was dead... she couldn't feed my youngest sister. S-so I- I called Thrushfur over... a-and... a-and he was just as sad I was that Quailfur was gone. H-he didn't s-say it... but I knew he blamed her death on my little sister. He was angry... as soon as he saw my youngest sister, his anger showed. He told me to take care of 'it'... didn't care what I did. He just told me to take care of 'it' and help him get the bodies out of the nursery."

Crowpaw paused for many moments, gathering what little strength he had to not bury his head in the sand and cry it out as he had done so many times before. "I gave Bluekit to a queen and did as he asked. Once that was all over... things got much worse between us. A moon passed and then disaster struck for everyone. Sparrowstar disappeared and Thrushfur was renamed Thrushstar. He chose Bumblebreak as his deputy. Not long after that, ThunderClan's camp was swallowed up by the forest. Everyone was being evacuated... and me, being the cat I am... took my nest with me as I tried to exit the camp with the others. When Quietpaw died, I had merged my nest with hers so I could remember her scent."

"Bluekit... s-she wanted to be with Thrushstar. Naturally, of course. Why wouldn't she? She was his one-moon-old daughter. Thrushstar took one look at her... and walked away. Admist all the chaos and the camp collapsing on itself- he left a kit, his daughter, alone to be at the mercy of everyone else even though he had the full capability to grab her. Everyone else was busy trying to help each other- they didn't have time to grab a kit. I was the last one to leave camp... because I was trying to make my way to my sister. A- a few m-moments later... the holes in the camp got bigger. The camp entrance was just about ready to be swallowed. S-so I grabbed her by the s-scruff... and ran as fast as I could."

"ThunderClan was just walking away to settle down and count everyone. Only a few Clanmates saw me running to get out of danger. The camp entrance was swallowed just before I got to it... the only option left for me? I had to jump to survive. So... so I did. I- I was absolutely terrified... I didn't know if I'd make it or not. It was the only chance I could get though. We made it, of course... I sprained my ankle and Bluekit was knocked out of my mouth, but she was all right."

Crowpaw stopped crying then and sighed. "But the worst wasn't over. I grabbed Bluekit again and limped over to Sundust and Cinderpaw. Sundust was busy, but Cinderpaw wrapped up my ankle and made sure Bluekit was okay. Once I was able to, I went straight to my father. I was... I was fuming- and w-why wouldn't I? My father left my sister to die. I confronted him. Right there. I was yelling at him... everyone looked at us and watched as my father and I argued. I didn't care whether they were sick of us fighting. I just cared about how my father managed to be one of the worst fathers out there." His voice lowered to a whisper. "D-during... that argument... Thrushstar decided enough was enough. He disowned me... in front of everyone. Disowned my innocent little sister and put me in charge of her care. He said he didn't care whether I left or if I stayed. When I told him I was staying because Quietpaw's grave is in ThunderClan, he gave me permission to dig out her grave and take it with me to RiverClan, where I said I would have left to if it weren't for my dead sister because I was so miserable. I said RiverClan specifically because of Pondwhisker.... y'know, my grandpaw. My father's father."

"At this point... I thought he was crazy. I refused to dig out Quietpaw's grave... it would b-be so disrespectful to her sacrifice. B-because had it not been for her, that fox would have killed me. She pushed me out of the way. I think- right there... most of ThunderClan understood my side of the story. I... I gained a lot of respect from my Clamates that day. Sootfur decided to be mine and Bluekit's starfather. Pebblepaw- another friend of mine- she offered her family to be my adopted family. Goldenpaw... he wasn't my friend, he was Pebblepaw's friend though. He said I shouldn't have said anything when I did because we had all lost our camp. Because of his constant rude attitude, and the comment, I walked up to him and smacked his face... then I walked away t-to... to... to let it all out in peace."

"... I lost both my parents... my whole family aside from Bluekit, in the span of two- maybe three moons." But Crowpaw was not done yet. There was still more to cover. "Thrushstar ended up disappearing and then Bumblebreak became Bumblestar. A... half a moon or so later, Sootfur disappeared. I was the only one to take care of Bluekit... so that's what I did- until one day... s-she was no where to be found. I went to go find her... but I didn't. So... when I returned to the camp, I took as much prey as I could carry and left to be on my own for a bit. I was still in the territory... but hidden away from everyone. When I ran out of food, I returned to ThunderClan. After that the whole... the whole Clan changed, and I can't decide if it was for the better or worst."

[Tiabirb]

Sweetsong
---------------------


More of it came, and as it went on, she made a new set of lines in the sand, but she eventually abandoned keeping track as horror filled her gaze. And an emotion she hated to feel, loathed it really, surged forward.

Anger. She was angry. Her ears flattened, and she let out a hiss, though it was soft and the opposite of threatening. "StarClan would never let such a horrid cat into their ranks! Surely they would never! To be so apathetic and heartless! And towards kits! His own!" Her voice was shrill and high, the loudest she had been since he had met her, "May he drown in the dark pools of the Dark Forest for all eternity!" She turned her head and spat crossly into the sand, as if purging the foul words from her mouth. She hated being...angry. She hated speaking ill of the dead...but not of those who belonged in the equivalent of hell. The Dark Forest was where Thrushstar belonged. If she ever became a medicine cat....if she ever met StarClan and saw him there...

"I'll chase him out of StarClan myself," She growled darkly, finishing the unspoken line of thinking. These kinds of thoughts worried her. She didn't like being so...vindictive. Sweetsong rose to her paws, hopping out of the shallow dip in the sand and began to pace a few fox-lengths away, her paws in the cooling surf. She paced for a long while, calming herself, thinking of Crowpaw. How strong he was to endure this kind of heartless cruelty. Did that make her strong? She had not endured his kind of pain....but cruelty was an old friend that she was familiar with.

Sweetsong returned to Crowpaw, he eyes lowered and her tail drooping. "Forgive me of my outburst..." She whispered, "I'm ready to hear more..." Sweetsong sat in the sand, her eyes still lowered and resting on her paws.

@SpiritedWarrior

[SpiritedWarrior]

Crowpaw
Purrks: Heightened Perception and Agatha Kitty
@Tiabirb

Annnnd there it was again. What was up with all the lines this cat was making? Sweetsong was- well, she was the sweetest cat he's ever met beside his sister. Quietpaw never showed visible anger, and Sweetsong hadn't either until Crowpaw was done talking. The RiverClan she-cat had abandoned her mark-making and turned her complete attention to him, which he was relieved for. The young tom didn't say nor did he show anything, but it made him nervous. What was it that she was doing?

Deciding to not think about that, he turned his own attention to Sweetsong as she exploded in anger. Thankfully, the anger was not pointed toward him. Rather- it was pointed toward Thrushstar. Part of Crowpaw, a part he thought he had lost, wanted to defend his biological father. But why would he? Thrushstar was apathetic and heartless, like Sweetsong said.

"Now you... now you know why I was angry with StarClan the first time we met. Why I was ready to attack you. With everything that happened in my life... I- I lost a sense of who I was. Or, rather, who I am... I blame StarClan for everyone I lost because they didn't do anything about anything. They took my sisters from me. They took my mother. My brothers... and drove Thrushstar mad to the point he couldn't handle being my father." Maybe it was the Dark Forest, but I don't know anymore.

Sweetsong then started pacing after having blown up out of anger for Crowpaw. He peeked over the sand and watched her pace multiple times before returning to his side. She asked for forgiveness, to which Crowpaw smiled and replied, "I forgive you."

"I... I left out some information, um... w-when I left, I went into the outskirts. I lived close to the ThunderClan borders so it's not like I truly left. I just... I needed to break away from my birth Clan for a while. In fact- it wasn't that long ago that I returned. When I ran out of food that I took from ThunderClan's prey pile, I resorted to whatever food I got from twolegs." He snorted. "I wasn't fond of the idea, but I had no other choice. I didn't know how to hunt, so... it was either starve or return to a Clan that hardly ever treated me like one of their own."

"I'm.... I'm basically in a losing war against StarClan. I know you probably like StarClan a lot more than I do...so how do- how do... how do I- how do I move on from the pain my parents caused? From the pain StarClan caused me? Y-you... you seem to get along great in life, and I- I can't get through it without feeling some sort of misery after my happiness. Sweetsong, how do you do it?"

[Tiabirb]

Sweetsong
--------------

She was quiet for a long time after Crowpaw finished speaking. Those green eyes were distant and thoughtful, turned upwards toward the clear sky full of stars. Of course, it was only a dream, but she still felt a peace wash over her as she looked upon them. She did feel...closer to StarClan than most. How she wished she could speak to one of them, to her mother...father...to Stonewhisker...



Her heart twisted, and she found her gaze resting on Crowpaw, though the gaze was clouded over. "I wondered that a lot...I-I think I look for the...I guess the good in the world...maybe a bit too hard, or too much. But whenever I see the sun rise, I am grateful to have another day. When I heard the birds sing, I listen to their songs and feel lucky that I can hear them. When a kit is born, I feel love and hope...when I look at you, I see...I see...."

Her voice trailed away, for a moment, only for her eyes, someone else was sitting there. A thick grey tabby pelt and warm brown eyes...but when she blinked, Crowpaw's pelt was the same as it ever was. Sweetsong could feel her ears droop, and she looked down at her paws. "I-I see someone who makes me feel the same.."

@SpiritedWarrior

[SpiritedWarrior]

Crowpaw
Purrks: Heightened Perception and Agatha Kitty
@Tiabirb

It was a while before Sweetsong's soft and gentle voice cracked through the train of thought in the young tabby tom's head. She missed someone, she missed many others. Who? Crowpaw didn't know, nor would he probably never know unless she told him. And much like he promised himself when speaking to Poisonberry, he would not pressure her to tell him her secrets. He'd hear them when she was ready to share.

He took the words his friend spoke to heart. How she had always looked for the good in the world, even if she looked a little too hard. Crowpaw knew she was right. That's what he should do too. Instead of mourning over the loss his sister took for him, he should be grateful to have gotten a chance to live. If it weren't for Quietpaw's sacrifice, he would have never met the wonderful ginger she-cat sitting in front of him. He would have never known his grandfather was a RiverClanner. And he would've mourned for his sister, knowing she'd never be able to communicate with their parents about anything. He was her voice, just as much as she was his ears.

But now, he felt like Quietpaw was speaking to him. She wanted her big brother to be happy, and Crowpaw would do his best to make sure he'd see the light in the darkness for the rest of his life. Sweetsong felt love and hope when looking at Crowpaw. For a moment, he couldn't understand why. Who could love someone that had the scars he did? A half-blind eye and a shredded ear? Scars on his nose? But then again... the golden tabby in front of him was not like anyone else. She was the opposite, in fact.

She's the first one to have said she loved me since... since grandpaw all those moons ago. Crowpaw gently touched her paw with his own and laid down to look her in her eyes. "When I look at you... I... see a light. A light of hope, happiness, and a promise that better days will come. Sweetsong, I can't thank you enough for leading me toward the light. For... for coming to my aide and... and not running w-when I was... when I wasn't myself. I may not be able to thank you enough for helping me, but I'd like to try. Anything you want, that I can give to you... it's yours. A promise- a... a shoulder to lean on... anything."