now and forever [p]

[alec]

->> minkpaw [she/they, outsider, 13moons] <<-
a dark blueish grey bengal-patterned she cat with silver eyes

minkpaws dirtied paws dragged along the ground as she briefly circled the sparse patch of moss before letting her shoulders drop, exhaustion catching up to her and finally layed down. the apprentice hadnt even really left riverclan territory, mostly staying hidden somewhere along the riverclan outskirts border instead of wandering off just yet. she just couldnt bring herself to ultimately turn her back to riverclan, not after all that happened. dishevelled muddy fur stuck to her skin and it was starting to itch but the tumble she had taken that resulted in getting coated in cold slimy mud had also kept clan cats off her tail so she swallowed around the discomfort. it was stupid to imagine cats coming after her at all, but if she had learned anything, fadingsun wouldnt deal kindly with outsiders, even worse, ex clan cats.
minkpaw let her eyelids flutter shut for the first time since she left camp, and even if she couldnt remember how long it had been, if the dull heavy feeling of her body was anything to go off it mustve been a day or so at least. if anything, it had been long enough for the oriental shaped feline to shrug off the initial hurt and guilt that had filled her system, wear down the adrenaline rush and blind panic and leave her empty, cold and shaky.

( for the gold birth thing @blxze. )

[blxze.]

Funny, this was. a pregnant warrior was the only cat that cared whether an apprentice lived or died,
whether she was okay or not when the search patrol returned empty-pawed. Funny, how she was
wandering closer to the outsider border with every step she took. She wouldn't go to close, to avoid
getting in trouble. It was even funnier that she was almost certain that even though her mate was
behind her she thought she could scent Spotty. How terrible the world was. How terribly real this had
to be. That a kid was missing. The thought of her being like a sister had thawed slightly. Minks was
nearly like her own kid. If she wasn't safe, Goldfish didn't feel safe, either. With Minkpaw in an unknown
area, She hadn't had a good sleep in StarClan-knows how long. All she wanted was to find Minkpaw
and bring her sorry rump back to RiverClan. The scarred bicolor needed her more than she would
ever dare to admit. She was too important to her to lose. If she was dead, which she would never
believe without seeing her body, Goldfish would almost certainly die too.

Exhaustion dragged at her paws. They'd walked relatively slowly here, but the molly's legs were
quivering with the effort of each heavy step. Now she was certain Spottedstream was following
them. She didn't even care. She didn't care if the entire clan was following her. Thoughts of Minks
clouded her mind, and suddenly the exhaustion that plagued her limbs nearly made her stumble.
Her breath came in gasps. Goldfish was slightly embarrassed. They'd been walking for an hour,
probably. And yet here she was, gasping for air like she was climbing the tallest tree in all the
territories. Stupid pregnancy. Peps... I think Spottedstream's... following us. Her voice was a
raspy purr. So like her sister. Minkpaw! She yowled, voice hoarse from calling her name so
many times during the search. Minks! Minks, I'm here to... help you. Her yowl softened in
affection for a minute. Her heavy pawsteps grew only heavier as her pace quickened in desperation.
She has to be around here. Stupid lump in her throat. She has to. Minks! She
yowled her beloved friend's name again. Minks, please! Her desire to find her only grew larger.
The black-and-yellow tortie seemingly lost touch with the fact her companions were with her. She
stumbled and nearly collapsed into a sitting position. Minkpaw! She yelled out yet again, voice
pleading. She would never stop. She would never, ever stop if that's what it took to find her. If it took
all the flesh on her bones she'd find her. She must find her.

__

Gif by Ramen

________________________________________
| @alec [She's coming for you Minks watch out /silly /pos] | @Bean [I'm sorry I wrote the post and was like OH CRAP SPOTTY Lmao so I incorporated her best I could with the post I had] | @Fritter |

[alec]

( @blxze. @Fritter @Bean )


->> minkpaw <<-
[ she/they | outsider | 13moons ]
a dark blueish grey and white she cat with silver eyes

it wasnt like deep down minkpaw knew someone was going to come for her, whether it be goldfish or cobwebpaw but she had hoped to at least get a tiny bit of rest before so when goldfishs voice made its way through the veil of sleep and into minkpaws mind she couldnt help but inwardly wince.
still hidden behind something that could either be a bush or a very weirdly shaped shrub she remained still for a moment, white tipped ears twitching towards the two- three? cats coming her way before she shuffled, chest low to the ground but careful to keep her tail high enough to not catch on any leaves. minkpaw wasnt entirely sure if she was glad it was only newleaf and the bush wasnt that leafy and she had been able to easily slip in without causing a lot of noise, or if she wouldve preferred more leaves to hide her white markings. the mud made it so her legs and part of her tail wouldnt be an issue anymore but she hadnt managed to crash into that puddle so bad her ears and face would be affected so she just had to sit and hope.
the option to just stay hidden, beneath dark shadows and splatters of drying mud, and wait until they left was immediately off the table when goldfish stumbled and had to sit. minkpaw couldnt let a extremely pregnant goldfish wander aimlessly while simply watching them. she let out a quiet sigh, eyes fluttering shut briefly before continuing through the open space beneath the bush, squeezing through a small gap between stems and losing some of the mud, before pushing through the branches and out into the open. eyes cast downwards and mentally bracing for the weight of negative reactions she'd be subjected to as soon as goldfish noticed her.


(specification for the mud part: its mostly her legs and the lower chest/stomach part + splatters )]

[Bean]

II She/Her II 25 Moons II RiverClan Warrior II
[ Herbal Knowledge T1 ● The Collector ]

WHY THE HELL WAS HER EXPECTING SISTER LEAVING CAMP???? Spottedstream intended to find that out. Well her attempt to stay hidden didn't seem to work very much, as she heard her sister utter her name. Her blue eyes were fixed on goldie's black and orange pelt. She trotted up to the queen's side. "Goldie, I get you're worried about Minks, but for stars sake your kits are due any day now! You should be in the nursery!" she yowled in protest, lashing her silver tail. Spottedstream's eyes didn't show anger, but rather worry. After all they've been through, The silver she wasn't going to drop the protective-big-sister act now. Not when her sister was this close to kitting. She was about to ask for them to go back when Minkpaw emerged, covered in mud. She perked up her ears, giving a soft smile to the apprentice. "Minkpaw," she purred, curling her tail over her paws. "Come here. We've been worried about you. And your fur! Let me clean you up, darling," she offered, making room for the apprentice to join them if she was willing.

[ @alec @blxze. @Fritter - forgive me for the sloppiness of this post ]

[blxze.]

|_______._____._______|

Goldfish was seeing double. There were never-shown ears that pricked at her eyes, and her desperation
was stronger than her difficulty. The silence that lapsed as she panted was broken as Spottedstream
made quick work of revealing her position and protesting angrily, but Goldfish could see the worry and
anxiety in her eyes. She took the liberty of partially pressing her shoulder against her sister to keep
herself steady. "I love you. But I don't give a crap about that opinion. I'm finding--" Oh. Oh.
Brain was no longer registered.
...
...
MINKSMINKSMINKSMINKSMINKSMINKSINKSMINKS
Goldfish hurtled at maximum speed in the direction of her beloved friend, expression constantly
shifting in a massive whirlwind of emotions. Angry, happy, sad, excited, anxious, relieved, reluctant,
apologetic. That about summed it up. But all that ran through her mind was MINKSMINKSMINKS is
here and MINKSMINKSMINKS is okay, and MINKSMINKSMINKS is alive. She was about to barrel
directly into her, when she halted. Minks didn't seem to happy. Goldfish felt like if she touched her,
Minks may shatter. She was so scared of losing her again. So scared she might not come back.
So scared she would be alone. She wasn't sure what to do or say, so she just stood with one
paw raised like she would continue walking toward her, head tilted slightly away. Her eyes were
hesitant. "I'm..." She couldn't finish her sentence before her thoughts began shooting
out her mouth at a million miles per hour. "I love you, Minks, you know that, right? You scared
me and Webs half to death! I was panicked, Minks, panicked! I was so sure you were dead and
I went out searching with Dusklion and when I didn't find anything I... I love you, Minks. You're
like my own kid. Just know that, alright? Know I would fight all the badgers in the forest for you.
Die for you. Risk my life again and again. Her voice cracked. "I don't know what I'd do
without you. You matter to me. Don't think otherwise. Don't think wrongly of me. I... Minks...
I need you. Please... Come home...?" Now she felt like she may shatter into a million
pieces. The consistent jabbing of the kits inside her didn't help the situation. Didn't help her
stress. I love you as much as them, Minks. She wanted to say, but she didn't. She couldn't
get those exact words out. "You're one of them to me." That would portray her point well
enough. She could sense Peps and Spotty behind her, But Minkpaw was who she targeted with her
desperate, longing gaze. Thump. The kits jabbed harshly. She didn't move. Her golden-hued
eyes wouldn't stop staring at her. Never, ever again did she want them to see anyone but her kits,
Minks, Spotty, Peps. And if she had her way, Dais and Shelly. Their nicknames were the only words
that seemed to compute. The only words that mattered in her heart. The words that, even if their
owners were dead, would forever live on in her soul. Because they mattered.

._______._____._______.
| @alec [Hard post for u heh] | @Bean | @Fritter |

[alec]

->> minkpaw <<-
[ she/they | shadowclan | 13moons ]
a dark blueish grey and white she cat with silver eyes

minkpaw ignored spottedstreams words, refusing to even look up from the ground until goldfish closed in. she flinched, stepping back, jaws pressed together tightly and eyes squeezed shut for a moment.
everything remained quiet, her head was still hanging, silver gaze transfixed to the ground once again and besides the quiet breathing of everyone around her, the sound of blood rushing through her ears grew to a deafening volume.
goldfish speech hit her like a whole ass tree, ears dropping even more as she sucked in a shuddering breath and guilt sparked in her stomach. and there they were again, translucent paws reaching out for her, laying their strong grasp around her heart and lungs and squeezing and pulling so intently she could do nothing but gasp for air, hunched over and on shaky legs.
"Please... Come home...?" she weakly shook her head, "im sorry"


( @blxze. @Fritter @Bean )

[blxze.]

_______._____._______
⯎TW: Emotional and Physical Distress, Pain, Abuse, Birth going wrong. Basically everything lmao⯎
_______._____._______

"I'm sorry.."

The ground seemed to open up from beneath Goldfish's paws. How could two words change so
much? How could two words be so cruel? She didn't move a muscle, as though if she stood still
for long enough perhaps it would bring her back to a few seconds earlier, and any bit of happiness
she felt from being reunited to her friend would come flooding back, and maybe Minkpaw would
say yes, and maybe the pain in her stomach would stop clenching over her and radiating off like
the heat of the sun. Maybe Minks would care enough about her to agree, and be happy to see
everyone again and she and Cobwebpaw could get together and be happy. Never regret coming
back. Being happy she'd found her, she'd seen her again. But instead she was met with a Minks
that looked like a guilty, sheepish kit instead of caring about seeing her at all. Why? Why didn't
Minks care about her? The next wave of pain brought a massive, shuddering jolt through her, and
Goldfish's legs began to tremble with exhaustion and pain. The scarred calico let the despairing
feeling reach her eyes. Why did it matter? It wasn't like Minks would ever see her again. Would
ever care to see her again. She'd make stupid rogue friends, and laugh about the look the queen
warrior had on her face right now. Her better judgement told her Minks would never, ever do that.
but who the crap cares about their better judgement when you think your STOMACH IS FALLING OFF!
When a sudden jolt of unbearable pain rocketed through her, Goldfish staggered backward with a yelp,
slamming her shoulder purposefully against a tree for support. She whipped her head to face the
cat who was forced to be her enemy. Her kid. Her sister. Her friend. Someone she thought
so highly of. A word flew out of her both before her tank could filter it. "Starsdamnit, Minks!"
She shouted, voice thick with so many emotions. Another wave of pain made her legs buckle and
Goldfish crumpled to the ground, pupils dilated from the harsh pain. No. No no no no no. Not
here, not now. No. No no. No. She couldn't kit right now! She couldn't literally be Going to have kits
right now! Worst possible time, kittos! Another wave of pain so abnormally intense it made her shake
violently, and she bit back a scream of pure pain, something she hadn't done in stars-know how long,
probably since apprenticehood--- The next searing pain made her see stars, and blackness cornered
her vision. She wouldn't know if anyone was trying to help her, her hearing felt intensely distant. It
took a moment for Goldfish to clear it, and when she did, the pain brought intense memories back she
didn't want to see.

"Mama, I can't find Silverkit." Goldkit mewed to her mother, pressing against her tortoiseshell pelt.
Goldkit always wanted a pelt like her mama's, but StarClan didn't seem keen on letting her swap her's
out. Cormorantcrash's pelt was thick and black, with burnt umber and white spots that look beautiful
at any point. Spotty had gotten her blue eyes. Goldkit and Silverkit had gotten their father's (Whoever
he was) golden eyes. Goldkit wondered where she'd gotten her spots. Grandma, probably. Grandma
was golden-yellow. But Grandma was dead, so she couldn't even compare. Their father was gray, that
was obvious, or else Spotty n' Silvs wouldn't be gray. "Go get her, then." Cormorantcrash said matter-of
-factly. Spotty jutted in to the rescue. "Mama, we can't. It's a blizzard. We can't see anything!" She chirped,
eyes forced to look bright. Mama pushed Goldkit a little distance away, shoulders hunched. Goldkit sprung
to her paws indignantly. Just as she was about to say something, Spotty shot her a look. The look that
Mama would be angry if she complained. So she closed her jaws. Moonfall padded up to sit beside the
tortoiseshell queen. "She'll be fine. StarClan will watch over her." She promised. Goldkit looked up at
Moonfall with wide eyes. "What if they don't?" She asked. Cormorantcrash tensed up. Moonfall looked
away, confidence wavering for a moment. "Don't be silly, dear, of course StarClan will watch over her."
She mewed, but only stared straight ahead. Goldkit trudged, unsatisfied, over to Spottedkit. Spotty
pressed her cheek against Goldkit's. The bicolor sat down beside her sister reluctantly. "Love you, Goldie."
She said, pressing herself closer to Goldkit. This was Spotty's way of secretly needing comfort from her
younger, energetic, bouncy sister. She took the cue. "Love you too, Spotty." She responded. Then, she
stared directly out the den enterance. "Love you, Silvs." But got no response. She'd never get a response
from Silvs again.

Goldfish's claws dug into the earth as the time came closer and closer. She was faintly aware that she was
already bleeding. Huh? She gave Spotty a delirious smile. "Love you, Spotty." she mewed, voice
slurred from pain and exhaustion that had already hit her like a stone. She was scarcely aware of the waves
of pain. Goldfish was pretty much out of it. But she was trying. Trying to keep herself here, trying to remember
why she was out here, trying to have her kits grow up with a mother's love. But stars, it was hard.

______._____._______
EVERYONE GETS POWERPLAY PERMS
| @paris [Ghost of Shellwhisker, ARISE] | @alec | @Bean | @carmen | @forest | @Peril | @Fritter [Viewing] |
Not yet, Kits! Just for viewing purposes. Also, please avert from mentions of Pepperbounce,
as Fritter requested to remove him from the thread