"An Intermission" RabbitCrow

[Dolomedes]

Rabbitpaw
He/him | WC Apprentice Tunneler | Moons: 6 | Purrks: none | Part Manx cat

Rabbitpaw dragged his paws a bit on his way to find his mentor. He wasn't sure what to do with himself right now. It was so confusing because he felt he was correct in what he said and then he also felt guilty because of what he said and then Lightningpaw looked so upset he could've jumped at Rabbitpaw right then and there. Though before he could continue in his wallowing thoughts, the blonde apprentice spotted his mentor, Crowtooth. Oh, great, sure he wanted to get the older cat's opinion on the matter, that's why he was even finding Crowtooth after all, but Rabbitapw wasn't sure if he could explain his upset-ness. The blonde apprentice padded up, ears pinned and overall not his usual bubblyness. "Crowtooth, you are super smart right? I have something I need to ask you." How was he going to phrase this?

Well, one paw step at a time, he needed to make sure that Crowtooth wasn't too busy doing important Fury and warrior stuff. The older seemed to be busy often. Rabbitpaw shifted his green eyes away from his mentor's heterochromia ones, dragging one of his paws through the earth beneath him, "Unless you are busy, or something... sorry."

[ @Rani - Crowtooth ]


Rabbitpaw gif made by ramen!
Rabbitpaw header made by Marigoldwhisper!

[Rani]

Crowtooth
Windclan Tunneler/Fury | He/him | 51 Moons

Power Card: Cold Gust

Food food food finally food!
Crowtooth had not had time to eat for awhile and was finally settling down for a meal his belly was aching for, having chosen the mink his patrol had killed awhile ago. In part it was due to curiosity, he knew the creatures were edible as most creatures were but the question was if they'd be palatable. Crowtooth had tried to eat a seagull once and had puked so there was no guarantee this was tasty too.... But if it was then this was a new food source for windclan which made the mink invasion at least have a silver lining.


The tom had torn through the pelt and just sunk fangs into the surprisingly good tasting meat when a little voice was heard, the warriors ears popping up to listen to his apprentice approach.
Rabbitpaw sounded more serious and unsure then normal and the tom quickly swallowed his mouthful, quickly rasping out a "I aint busy kiddo, just eatin' but Ive got more then enough ta share wit' ya. Come join me, it's a mink that was caught recently, see the sharp claws an how its around the size o' a normal warrior?" So smaller then Crowtooth but still big. "Its surprisingly tasty, dig in an' talk ta me."


Food made things better so hopefully it'd lift Rabbitpaws spirits, the elder tom shifting as he allowed the apprentice to settle in, musing. "Well kiddo Im clever but not wise so theres no guarantee Im the 'smart' ya want fer yer question. But Im happy ta try an' help regardless so whats on yer mind?"


@Dolomedes

[Dolomedes]

Rabbitpaw
He/him | WC Apprentice Tunneler | Moons: 6 | Purrks: none | Part Manx cat

Rabbitpaw looked down at the mink that was at Crowtooth's paws as he mentioned sharing it, wow, those were what they were fighting. It was bigger than him. He could kind of see why he wouldn't be able to help fight them now, but still Rabbitpaw was quite the fighter! At least, he thought so and so did his mama. Though when he thought of fighting the fight came flooding back to mind. The blonde apprentice settled down but didn't move to eat. He wanted to recount everything and hear a response sooner rather than later, even if eating wouldn't take very long at all. Rabbitpaw took in a really deep breath and began to retell what had just occurred just moments before.

"Well, I was just walking through the clearing looking for something to do because I was free and then Lightningpaw called me over and asked how I was doing and stuff. And then I said that I was alright but bored!" That was a simple enough start, and maybe a bit ramble-y and not to the point but still, a good start and the tom took another breath before continuing, the words rushing out after he had started. "And then we chatted some more and then he asked if I was really alright because he said I was acting like I had something to prove and that I was acting more... umm.. down, I guess? And then I admitted to him that I was still feeling sad about Fallownose, because you know, its been less than a moon and I really miss him even though I didn't like... personally know him, he's been the only deputy I have ever known and I aspired to be like him and stuff, and then he's just... gone, now and I am not over it yet and stuff..."

Rabbitpaw took a small breather again, looking away from his mentor's eyes, not wanting to see what kind of reaction he would have to that. Because Rabbitpaw thought he was normal for mourning his deputy still but maybe Lightningpaw was right when he said that he was supposed to be over it already. The tom continued after lapsing into silence for a few moments, and when he did his voice came out more unsure. "And.. I.. I don't know why that upsetted Lightningpaw… because then he was yelling at me that he was going for a walk until I can be honest with myself”

And then Rabbitpaw found himself unable to sit down in front of the mink and he wasn’t even really thinking about things as insignificant as breathing because he was starting to get upset again just retelling the story, even though Crowtooth was helping him and wasn’t Lightningpaw. The blonde apprentice began to pace a small line back and forth in front of Crowtooth as he continued with his now more of a rant than an explanation. “And then I got upset because I just admitted that I have been mourning my deputy still and Lightningpaw was like,” Rabbitpaw’s voice rose as he spoke in ‘Lightningpaw’s voice,’ “Get over it, Rabbitpaw, he wouldn’t you dwelling so long on him’”

Rabbitpaw had to stop then because he voice was starting to get higher unintentionally from not breathing but just as quickly he was back at it to finish off the rant, “And then I said, Lightningpaw you can’t decide how long I can or can’t mourn the only deputy I’ve ever known and one of my aspirations, he can’t decide how long I mourn for anyone. And I also said that it wasn’t like my grieving was getting in the way of taking care of myself and my clan and so I see nothing wrong with the fact that I haven’t gotten over over Fallownose’s death. And I may have said that I couldn’t just forget Fallownose like Lightningpaw apparently did, and I think that made him upset as well, but that’s what it felt he was asking me to do, you know?”

And after Rabbitpaw was done with his ranting he felt a little bit better just being able to speak about it to someone regardless of if Crowtooth could offer advice but the blonde apprentice thought he could. Though with tears now welling in the corners of his green eyes, Rabbitpaw stopped pacing in front of his mentor and addressed him, “What did I do wrong, Crowtooth? Lightningpaw… he looked like he wanted to… hurt me, Crowtooth… I just…don’t know what I did wrong.”

[ @Rani - Crowtooth ]

Rabbitpaw gif made by ramen!
Rabbitpaw header made by Marigoldwhisper!

[Rani]

Crowtooth
Windclan Tunneler/Fury | He/him | 51 Moons

Power Card: Cold Gust

That was.... A lot of words, wow.



For the most part Rabbitpaw seemed content to get all the information out there without encouragement so Crowtooth stayed quiet and let him just vent, the older tom taking the occasional bite of the mink as he listened.



The situation was more complex then the tunneler had expected out of Rabbitpaw, not that he thought his apprentice was dumb or shallow or anything, just that this kind of intricacy wasnt common amount cats his age. Even after the young cat finished the fury took a moment to think, brow furrowing as he turned this over in his head and paw tapping as he did.


"Well....." The rasp wasnt as confident and firm as a Crowtooths usual speak but he continued nontheless. "First o' all I cant read yer friends mind an' dont know 'em, so ya got a better idea o' their personality then me. But from what I can tell this may be an issue o' maturity an' a couple o' conflictin' views on the part o' yer friend."
The tom leaned back, staring at the sky as he tried to explain, gesturing to the mink for Rabbitpaw to eat in the meantime.


"So first o' all I think yer friend is genuinely worried fer ya, and was upset when ya didnt address the thing they were worried about but talked about somethin' they had their.... own opinions about. In yer defense kid ya didnt address it 'cuz it aint a trouble fer ya like they thought it was but they might nota understood that.


Ya see, yer kinda rushin' through yer apprenticeship at a concernin' rate? It aint a bad thing, really yer doin' great but it aint common and some cats worry yer doin' it 'cuz ya feel ya have ta an' that yer missin' out on your young life fer it. Which I get, I feel the same at times. Apprenticeship is supposed ta be learnin' ta be a warrior but also a time fer ya ta grow and have fun and yanno, be a kid an' at the rate yer goin' you'll miss out on that entirely. An' that you'll burn yerself out in doin' so.


Those that care fer ya dont want that, so yer friend was worried and may 'ave thought ya werent 'bein' honest wit' yerself' or not being honest wit' him."


But in the end that was only part of the problem so even as the tom let that sink in to Rabbitpaw it was clear he was going to keep going. Honestly he was kinda glad this'd come up? The tom was worried at this rate his apprentice would be a warrior at like 8 moons old, an issue for multiple reasons. First of all size, warriors fought warriors and while size wasnt everything it was a lot and Crowtooth was terrified that it'd kill Rabbitpaw. Also there was the experience and maturity that only time could bring.
Moving on.


"The theres the Fallownose side o' thin's... Now Im gonna be frank wit' ya kiddo yer friend was bein' an idiot.


Ya got the right o' it on Fallownose. Maybe he wouldnt 'ave mourned ya like ya are mournin' him, maybe ya didnt know him 'well enough' fer what yer feelin' (not that I believe such a thing exists). But sorrow an' grief is a confusin' creature that often makes little sense, and Fallownose was a deputy besides. Yer not only mournin' a cat, but the life he brought. Fallownose brought safety an' stability an' even if it wasnt peace totally as hardship existed it may 'ave felt like that, especially as a kit sheltered from it all, ya lost that abruptly younger then ya shouldve had ta an' at a special moment too. Part o' yer mournin' might be that too an' yer friend doesnt understand that, which is understandable yer both young.


But also, I think yer not understandin' yer friend too. Listen I dont know yer friend but I know you, yer a good judge o' character an' if hes yer friend I believe he means well. So I dont think he's askin' ya to forget Fallownose, I think he meant kinder but couldnt find the right words. He might just be worried about ya an' that yer hurtin' and meant ta try and make ya feel better, ta like, encourage ya to move on if he thinks yer dwellin' and hurtin' yerself by it.

However like I said, I think yer friend was bein' an idiot an' royally messed his words up."


The mentor could be wrong really and Lightningpaw could have meant his words more cruely but Crowtooth wanted to have faith in Rabbitpaws friend choosing skills and that this was a misunderstanding and not a real issue. Misunderstandings could be solved after all.


"But ya also screwed up kiddo if this is true. By yer own admission ya hurt him by accusin' him o' forgettin' so even if its not accepted an' he doesnt do the same ya should apologize fer it."
This was accompanied by a stern but not upset or mean look for a moment before Crowtooth wrapped up, keen on having his apprentice at least take the high road, even if things turned south.
"Again I dont know him but I dont think he wanted ta hurt ya, Lightningpaw was prolly just upset wit' ya an' that this was a misunderstanding on both o' yer parts ya just need ta talk out wit' eachother.
He didnt understand why yer drivin' yerself so hard an' that yer not harmin' yerself wit' yer grief through it an' ya didnt understand he was worried about ya an' just expressin' it poorly.


But again, I aint a mind reader an' ya know more details then me so what're yer thoughts on my read o' the situation?"
Stars he needed water after all this, and a nap, Crowtooth wasnt used to thinking this hard.


@Dolomedes

[Dolomedes]

Rabbitpaw
He/him | WC Apprentice Tunneler | Moons: 7 | Purrks: None | Part Manx cat
TW: Anxiety attacks, self-deprecation, light discussions of death

Rabbitpaw slowly sat down as he looked at the mink that was offered to him but he wasn't hungry at the moment and didn't move to eat any of it even if that felt rude and he felt guilty for declining. He felt almost sick with the whole situation if that made sense, it wasn't like he was sick with like a cough and stuff but he felt bad about it and thinking about how Lightningpaw probably hated him and would hate him for forever made him feel nauseous. He closed his green hues and just listened, not wanting to stare at anything that would make him feel worse for a plenty of reasons. Rabbitpaw was such a screw up at times wasn't he? He wasn't good enough to help against the minks and he was why his deputy was dead, why Riverclan attacked Windclan, why Windclan cats turned against their own during that meeting. There was a reason that he couldn't yet understand why Starclan cursed him. And that was probably part of the reason why and yet another reason why Rabbitpaw needed to be better, not even understanding something as simple as why the stars hated him.

He opened his eyes as Crowtooth started to speak. Starting immediately with why Rabbitpaw was at fault for the fight. He was rushing through his apprenticeship? He was in trouble because he was doing what he should as an apprentice too fast that didn't make sense in the slightest. Why wait? It's not like he'll suddenly stop growing if he were to get his name early or for getting a few extra lessons here and there but if Crowtooth and Lightningpaw didn't like it then Rabbitpaw would stop, he guesses? Just stop doing lessons even though as an apprentice you are supposed to learn how to be a warrior but not too fast. How fast was too fast? Why did Lightningpaw know what too fast was and Rabbitpaw didn't? Was he told? Was Rabbitpaw supposed to be told, maybe he was going to be told before what happened at his ceremony... that was probably it so again, it came down to his curse. His being. Why did the stars hate him? But seem to like him in the next moment? It doesn't make sense.

Rabbitpaw took the moment that Crowtooth seemed to pause to look away and down at his paws. They have been annoying him more lately. That was the same thought he had before the fight. "Alright...that makes sense..." He offers, but even to himself and despite his efforts for otherwise, Rabbitpaw's came out as anything but sure of itself. And he was lying. It doesn't make sense but obviously it was suppose to and he doesn't want to worry anyone else about not knowing that so... he guesses that he'll have to pretend until it clicks. Would it ever click? The curse made him feel like nothing will ever make sense. But he'll try because what else is there to do? Maybe if he tried, he could prove himself to Starclan and whatever they want from him and they would let him be normal again.

Rabbitpaw blinked out of his thoughts as Crowtooth continued on, speaking about Fallownose. It made the badness swirling in Rabbitpaw worsen its hold on him and the apprentice suddenly doesn't want to be here anymore. He shouldn't have brought up anything to anyone, he should've just figured out what Lightningpaw wanted from him by himself. Now Crowtooth knows about Fallownose and even though the older tunneler spoke of Rabbitpaw being in the right that felt wrong. He wished he could take back his words. Oh wait, no, Rabbitpaw was wrong again. That made more sense. What the apprentice thought previously of being too quick to say something rather than thinking about it for a moment. Obviously Lightningpaw didn't forget about Fallownose, and Rabbitpaw shouldn't have said that. At least Rabbitpaw knew he was in the wrong on that front before everything else.

"R-right, I'll apologize to him." What does it matter what Rabbitpaw thought of everything. Obviously he was wrong about most of the situation, that was why he came to Crowtooth in the first place. Because Rabbitpaw knew he was getting something wrong with this whole thing and while some of it he was right about, most of it he wasn't. So why offer Rabbitpaw more chance to mess up when he was told what he should do about it. Tears stung his eyes a tiny bit but he swiftly wiped them away with a paw. He felt like he was going to die, genuinely. He has never felt like this before, but he also never found himself being hated by another so much before. He felt guilty and bad and worried... no not worried, but something like that. What did Lightningpaw think of Rabbitpaw? Nothing good, Rabbitpaw accused him of awful things when the ginger apprentice only wanted to help but Rabbitpaw was too messed up to ever realize. It was wrong, he was wrong. The curse was there for a reason and maybe that reason came a bit more clear to him. "You're right... I should, go apologize."

Rabbitpaw didn't want to sit still anymore, he doesn't think he can anymore. He needed to leave. Something was wrong and something was bad with Rabbitpaw right now and he didn't want to say anymore hurtful things to anyone. Maybe he should give Lightningpaw some space, and not apologize right away? The apprentice doesn't think he could face anyone else like this. He wanted to hide, from what, he didn't know. Whatever was making him feel like this? Like he was about to fall apart and at the same time nothing but ceaseless buzzing of worry and guilt. He needed to leave and get away, while whatever was messed up about Rabbitpaw calmed down for the time being. Would it calm down or would Rabbitpaw be forced to feel like this all the time? He would certainly slow down with training if that were the case, he doesn't even think he could get back to the apprentices den without tumbling.

And so, Rabbitpaw got to his paws, which weren't shaking as badly when pressed into the grass that he couldn't really feel right now and that was worrying but not as much as everything else so he didn't give it much mind. "I should go... thank you, see you tomorrow." He felt diconnnected to himself, the words that left his mouth felt foreign. Like something else was speaking with Rabbitpaw's body but he had thought those words out and manually forced them out with thought going into each of the syllables as his mind refused to just speak normally and effortlessly as it had before. He needed to hide away from everyone until this passed. Whatever this was. Hopefully it would pass. The apprentice turned and walked away. Though he found his paws carrying himself elsewhere other than the apprentice den. He wanted his mother but she was busy with her siblings and wouldn't want to deal with the mess that was Rabbitpaw at the moment. So he made his way into the section of camp that was named for the kit corral. Nobody really used it a whole lot.

After falling among the tree's roots, Rabbitpaw tried to make sense of the puzzle that was himself before finding Lightningpaw to try and apologize. Everything was alright, why was he making this such a big deal? It was a fight, they happened, and they were both in the wrong even if Rabbitpaw was more in the wrong. He just needed to apologize. Why did it feel like he was going to die? Why does this make him feel sick? Just one moment and then he'll find Lightningpaw. Just one moment.

[ @Rani - Crowtooth ]
[ Oops gave him anxiety. Except he doesn't know that lol. He'll be alright soon-ish || Feel free to have Crow post one more time but you are good leaving this as the last post also if you want || Also I hope this is a semi-realistic representation? I have had only a couple anxiety attacks so I hope I am not misrepresenting the feeling /w\ let me know if anything seems wrong and I'll fix it of course! ]


Rabbitpaw gif made by ramen!