Are you, are you, coming to the Tree?

**Tiabirb** · #1 May 14th, 2024, 03:40 PM

Sweetsong

Former RiverClan Warrior- Outskirts
----------------------------------

She couldn't see the world in front of her through her tears, and the shadows of evening grew long and deep the further the blood-colored sun sunk further beyond the horizon. Everything inside of her was breaking. Her heart, her mind, her soul as she ran as far from RiverClan, as far from the horror, as far from the cruelty as possible. Away from Fadingsun and Dusklion, away from the disappointments and vicious cycles of anger and hatred.

And yet she couldn't run toward ThunderClan either. Something twisted around in her stomach, wrenching it into knots. She didn't know why, but she just knew something awful had happened to Crowpaw. Yet she couldn't bring herself to turn around, to make for the ThunderClan border. Something told her it wasn't safe. Sweetsong always trusted herself, and so she kept running as fast as she could. She didn't stop until she could only wheeze and gasp for air, her fur damp with sweat and tears, and her whole body was trembling and shaking from fear and despair. The tears kept falling, streaming down her face.

She had broken a promise to Fallenwish...but she just couldn't do it anymore. RiverClan was not the Clan it once was. Sweetsong had lived in fear before....she couldn't live through it again.
"I'm so sorry..." She choked out, letting the sobs rip themselves from her chest and throat. Her apology...it was meant for two cats in particular; Fallenwish, and Crowpaw. Beyond them...she had no one else. No one that needed her. Or wanted her. She was a useless warrior. She was a horrible friend and sister. She was a deserter.

As breath came back to her slowly, the sobs easing away, Sweetsong finally took a look around her. She was well beyond Clan territory, deep into the Outskirts. But she hadn't noticed the meadows around her, or the subtle rise in the ground...or the single tree that she rested beneath. Her gaze wandered up the dark branches, feeling a strange...itching sensation in the back of her mind. But this sensation was pushed away with more feelings of remorse and loneliness.
Whatever happened to Crowpaw...he would never know she was here. He would go straight to RiverClan....and she would be gone. Truly a figment of his imagination....and undoubtedly a broken heart for the last time.

Though the body wracking sobs died away, the tears kept flowing endlessly, creating two amber colored waterfalls down her face, and sitting beneath the tree, night began to fall, creeping closer with every blink. Sweetsong pressed herself against the tree, her ears flat and pressed to her skull, her eyes wide, glossy and full of terror and pain.
It was a poor place to stay for a night. Any night. She knew that. But that itch...thinking about leaving made it worse. And she wanted to be here, surrounded by the meadow grasses and their soft rustling, the wind creaking and stirring the branches and leaves above her head. She heard the soft chirring of crickets, and this began to lull her into a state of drowsiness.

She was so tired....she was safe here..

Her eyes closed briefly, and then everything was blank.

@SpiritedWarrior

**SpiritedWarrior** · #2 May 14th, 2024, 05:33 PM

Crowpaw/Thrushkit
Purrks: Heightened Perception, Agatha Kitty, and Hulk SMASH
@Tiabirb

Tears flew behind Crowpaw as he ran out of ThunderClan, as fast as he could, staring at nothing but the ground as he flew past the branches of the Clan he grew up in. There was nothing that could be done to fix this mistake. And there was nothing that could be done to change the view ThunderClan had of him. He should've known... right? Redhawk had betrayed him, as did everyone else he ever trusted.

To everyone in ThunderClan, he will always be seen as a replica of his father. The father that had abused, neglected, and purposefully abandoned. The father that had managed to wrong an entire Clan. Just like I did... He didn't stop running until his sides were screaming for him to stop, until he was staring at his reflection in the small amount of water on his now ex-Clan's territory. Crowpaw- now... Thrushkit, as ThunderClan called him, couldn't see anything but his father's reflection.

Even though he never did this when his father was around, Crowpaw let out a sound, a mix between a growl and a hiss, and scratched the water's surface before continuing to run. In an effort to block out the images of his tan, feathery-furred father, Crowpaw closed his eyes. To no avail, of course. Bumblestar was right... I am like him. I abandoned my sister... I abandoned what I thought was my home for most my life... I let down everyone around me. I disappointed... e-everyone. I'm selfish... cowardly... and an ass.

It was difficult for Crowpaw to continue forward, especially after being unable to say goodbye to Quietpaw's grave, but he knew she was with him. So to give his legs a break, he quit running just outside of ThunderClan territory. He didn't even know if he was in RiverClan, his nose was too clogged up to even get a good scent of his whereabouts. But he didn't care at this point.

He kept running into what he could only think are the outskirts. There was too little water to rightly categorize this piece of land as a part of RiverClan territory. He closed his eyes a few more times between strides, blinking away the tears that were darkening his fur. The sun was dipping down below the tree line, the stars were starting to show. It may be close to green leaf, but tonight was anything but warm. All he felt was the cold embrace of loneliness.

The young tom continued to run, shaking his head as if to rid himself of the pain he felt. He felt pain all over. Heartbreak. Betrayal. Loneliness. He never had a true family, and as much as he wished for it, something told him he'd never even find it in RiverClan. And the one chance he had to have a good relationship with his sister would be ruined... he didn't know if Bluepaw would be forgiving, but he'd never fault her for that. I'm so poor, sis, I-

And then it all went downhill (as if everything in life wasn't bad enough for him). Crowpaw found himself tripping over a skinny log and tumbling for a couple of cat-lengths. Considering he was now in a meadow, it did not come as a surprise when he was smacked by a few bushes. Not even bothering to shake it off and continue, Crowpaw lied there with his head between his paws, sobbing uncontrollably. Like a scared kit, he tucked his tail close to his hind legs and made himself as small as possible, as if that would provide him with any comfort.

"W-why..."

**Tiabirb** · #3 May 14th, 2024, 05:59 PM

Sweetsong
------------------

No dreams tonight. There was only a moment when she closed her eyes, and the next when she was startled awake with a frightened gasp. She had heard a crashing, but no sign or sound of who...or what...caused it. Sweetsong looked around in the darkness, slowly rising to her paws in case she needed to flee from a predator.

But still...she couldn't resist. "H-hello?" She stammered out, and then more strongly, she mewed, "Is someone there?" Did someone follow her? Fallenwish? No, she wouldn't. A rogue? A fox!? She swallowed down the lump of terror, and then....she heard..sobbing. And a voice, choked and broken, asking why... It was a cat!

"Oh dear, are you lost?" She let sympathy pour into her voice, momentarily forgetting her woes, that she was an outsider, a loner...her focus now was on this shattered soul, lost and afraid, just as she was, and she began picking her way closer to the sounds of tearful expression.

And then a scent hit her nose.

ThunderClan! What would ThunderClan be doing out here? Creeping closer on her tiny white paws, Sweetsong peered beneath the branches of one of the meadow brushes, and she let her eyes settle and sink in what....or rather WHO she was seeing.
"Oh...oh StarClan...this is destiny," Sweetsong breathed out in amazement, "C-Crowpaw? Darling what are you doing out here? You...you should be..." He should be training, or receiving his warrior name. What happened? What went wrong? Sweetsong forced the thoughts away with a blink and shake of her head, "Oh Crowpaw..." Squeezing her small frame through the brush, she settled close to Crowpaw, resting her chin on his shoulder. More tears spilled down her cheeks, and she let the silence last, grieving with her friend. Whatever had happened, they were both mourning a thousand losses.

Somehow, someway, they had been forced to leave the only homes they had ever known, their paths crossing in their waking moments when they were both at their lowest. She didn't care about the whys at this moment. The hows could wait. He was here. She was here. And just as she had done for him in their shared dreams, she gave him the quiet comfort, though she spoke only one sentence in that honey and silk voice of hers, and only one to him, now that she knew who he was, and that he was real.

That he was still so broken and shattered as he had been...this was her Crowpaw...

"Lean on me, Crowpaw. When you're not strong, and I'll be right here...I'll help you carry on...."

@SpiritedWarrior

**SpiritedWarrior** · #4 May 14th, 2024, 06:36 PM

Crowpaw/Thrushkit
Purrks: Heightened Perception, Agatha Kitty, and Hulk SMASH
@Tiabirb

The voice he heard was familiar, very familiar, but he couldn't quite place it in his cloud of grief and loss. Of his wrongdoings. He was lost. He was without a home, without a family, without the only cat in the world that could comfort him. He had been without a home before, but that was on purpose. He never had to feel the loneliness he did until this very moment.

"I should be... I-in the D-dark F-forest..." he sniffled and wiped his nose. "F-for... what I did. I lost my name... l-lost my youngest sister a- a se-second time... l-lost my h-home... a-all b-because I was an idiot. Because I- I acted li-like my m-my good-for-nothing f-father..."

Recent events couldn't stop replaying in his head, mainly Bumblestar's vile and cruel words. They stung him as deep as a porcupine's quills. Though he's never personally been pricked by the animal, he sure felt like he did. The young tabby felt pressure on his shoulder, prompting him to lift his head to see what decided to invade his personal space. Right now he felt like he wanted to hide in a hole and disappear forever.

Crowpaw stared in awe, struggling to come up with the proper words. It took him a few squeaks before he finally mustered the words to speak to the familiar she-cat. "Y-you're... your real. M-my... former mentor... I- I h-had told her about us talking... s-she told the whole C-clan at my ceremony... B-bumblestar... she was pissed. S-she demoted me to kit, renamed me Thrushkit a-after... after him, a-and... and exiled me. All... all after I j-just found out Bluekit w-was alive... after s-she and I- r-reunited."

"I... R-redhawk w-was the only c-cat I t-trusted... to know about us. A-and now... I-" He broke out into uncontrollable sobs once more and clung to Sweetsong as if he was hanging on for dear life. "M-my si-sister was attacked by RiverClan... I- I had n-no idea... u-until she... she yelled at me. B-bumblestar w-was close to killing me... I- I saw it in her eyes... she s-she said she outta gut me li-like a fish... s-said... s-she'd rip off m-my pelt. M-my o-only family h-hates me... b-because I- I-it looked l-like... I abandoned her. Like Thrushstar abandoned her and me. I... I h-had deceived Bumblestar... a-and I- I didn't m-mean to... I'm an idiot."

**Tiabirb** · #5 May 15th, 2024, 09:35 AM

Sweetsong
----------------------

Her heart shrunk with each piece of the shortened version of events until she feared it would give out on her. She closed her eyes, squeezing them shut as she listened. She had trusted someone too...but that had been her sister. Crowpaw had trusted someone with the knowledge of their dream visits...

"I could tell you how sorry I am, Crowpaw..." Sweetsong whispered, "But it would be a depressing understatement..." There was a lot to unpack....his sister, Bluepaw had returned. That was definitely a surprise, but she wondered how coincidental it was that Bluepaw would return just as Crowpaw was finding himself, preparing and gathering his courage to move toward a happier life? Or would it really have been a happier life? The state of RiverClan was appalling her.

"ThunderClan doesn't deserve you." She growled. It wasn't the most threatening sound, more like a really nervous cricket. Pulling back and frowning deeply, Sweetsong looked hard at her friend, adding. "And RiverClan doesn't deserve either of us. Things have gotten worse there..." She reached a paw out and let it rest over his, "I know this isn't the best outcome. Things were beyond our control the moment we allowed ourselves to trust someone with our friendship. Fallenwish could have told anyone, I could be right where you are, Crow..." She didn't let herself finish saying 'paw'. He had been about to become a warrior. He would be one right now. And she'd rather drink the blackwater from the Dark Forest's own cesspools than poison her tongue calling him Thrushkit.

"No matter what happened, it happened for a reason. I left RiverClan. It's too dangerous there...there's so much anger and hatred, so much violence and contempt. I've...I've lived that way before...I couldn't..." Sweetsong shuddered, pulling her paw away and tucking it beneath her fluffy chest. "You are not your father; ThunderClan hurt and betrayed you many times over, so it's a bit silly of them to be so upset with you for wanting to leave. Your father doesn't quite have the same excuse. Let me tell you, that oath you took? It's just a waste of air these days." It was probably the most cynical and harshest thing the gentle she-cat had ever said, and there was a chilling anger harbored in the words.

"No one respects the code, no one respects their Clan...no one respects StarClan..." The very thought depressed her suddenly, and Sweetsong rested her chin on her paws. "We've both been outsiders in our own Clans, Crow. We never belonged there, did we? And now...we really are outsiders..."

"So why do I feel...happy?" The admission surprised her...mostly because it was true. She felt a lot less anxious. Less burdened. Less unwelcome. She didn't feel the heavy weight of threats and death lingering in the air around her, suffocating her. And she wasn't alone, like she had thought she would be. Crow was here. Somehow, even if in an unpleasant way.

And just this little acknowledgement seemed to make her happier, as a tiny, hesitant purr started up in her throat.

@SpiritedWarrior