how do i say goodbye?

[taillow]

BRAVEBIRD
she/her | windclan fury

About a moon or so had passed since her kits had come into the world, and things were changing for Bravebird.

The first was her view towards them. Once nothing more than warm, squishy hairballs that would go on to become great additions to the Clan, the lilac lynx-point now saw them as more. Watching them tumble around the nursery together, already so full of live as their little legs carried them as quickly as they could in various games of tag or moss-ball... She even found herself constantly worrying over their health and well-being, seeing every little trip or tumble as a potential injury. The Fury wondered if this was what the queens talked about - the love that came from having kits.

Pure love. Unconditional love. The only love that could, perhaps, rival the love to one's Clan...

The second was her place in the Clan. A mother... it was a title that Bravebird never thought she would have. A mate and kits and all of that had never been appealing to the spitfire, and it had always been something she turned her nose up at. Why would perfectly strong warriors ever choose to do this? The Fury wouldn't have had an answer just a few moons ago, but now the new mother wouldn't trade it for the world. She adored every moment of it, from cooing her kits to refereeing kit games to even the sights and sounds of the once unbearable nursery.

The third... Well, the third was Hawkfur. A friend - perhaps her closest friend behind Crowtooth and Fallownose. A cat she hadn't had many interactions with before that fateful day our on the moorlands when she had spotted him looking miserable over his apprentice. He had been so sulky then, and she had been determined to make him feel better. It was a day that had blossomed more than just a conversation between mentors though - it was the start of their friendship - a bond that was unlike any Bravebird had ever built or found in WindClan.

...And if she were being honest with herself, it had developed into more. She wasn't entirely sure when or how, but when she looked at Hawkfur now, so full of pride over being a father and radiating what a true WindClanner should be... Bravebird found that she had unconditionally and irrevocably fallen in love with him.

He was here in the nursery with her now. Their perfect life, surrounded by their kits and the Clan. The gentle comfort of the peaceful greenleaf they'd been having ever since those vile fish had been driven from the forest. Bravebird smiled softly, watching as Crowkit, Gracklekit, and Egretkit all tumbled together on the nursery floor in front of-

A sudden cough wracked her body, this one worse than the ones that had come before it. The utopia she had in her mind faded away to reveal reality; a sick Bravebird in her nest while her kits played a little ways away. Hawkfur was here, despite her attempts to get him to leave incase whatever she had was contagious. So far, no herb had been found to treat it - to no fault of Lightningstorm (which the Fury had gone out of her way to remind the medicine cat of each chance she got... likely out of guilt for what had been her last words to Original Memory Lightningstorm).

...It was different this time. The lethargy had been getting worse despite her attempts to hide it, and nausea was a constant. Bravebird couldn't remember the last time she had eaten anything. Her energy was at a near flatline these days, and she hadn't much seen the outside of the nursery in what felt like moons. The ever-persistent pounding in her head was worse today, and all the Fury wanted to do was sleep.

She knew. She had felt death's claws once before, and these talons had the same curvature, the same painful sting. It made her throat tigthen with emotion as tears misted her eyes. The edges of her vision were getting blurry, and each breath felt like it took more and more energy. "Hawkfur..." Bravebird rasped, her voice trailing off as she drew in another shaky breath. "I... don't think... there is much..." Another shaky cough as a wave of nausea rolled over her. She leaned back against him, silently cursing herself that she had been putting off confessing her feelings for him.

Perhaps... now was the time. Before asking him to go get her mother, as well as everyone else.

"I have... something I want to tell you..." She had to get this out before those invisible claws clenched any tighter. Turning herself so that she was facing him more, Bravebird smiled. "...Remember that day... when I came across you... out in the.... moorlands?" A breathless laugh. "You looked like... a lump on... a log," she continued in between breaths, her blue eyes never leaving his face. "And now... look at you... I sure shaped you up... quite well..." The tease was lighthearted as she blinked at him. Stars, she wished he had done this sooner.

"When I asked... you to have these kits... I never thought-" Bravebird broke off as another bout of coughs shook her. She ducked her head, instinctively moving closer towards Hawkfur as if it was his scent that would calm her down. Which... it did. As she regained her breath she lifted her head once more and offered a small half-smile. "...I never thought... you, and this- our... little family... would become so much more... than just a duty to... WindClan..." Because they were; because he was. More, that is. "...I thought that... being a warrior... was the greatest thing... I'd ever do in my life... until I had... our kits." This was it. Bravebird took a moment, feeling her strength waivering. "...You have... changed my life, Hawkfur... and have shown me that... there is more to life... than just being a warrior. Thank you... for loving me... and for allowing me... to love you in return."

Her head started to swim with dizziness as a weak cough left her. There was more she wanted to say - there always would be, wouldn't there? - but Bravebird didn't want to leave without saying goodbye this time. There were those she didn't get the chance to say goodbye to - Wolffang stuck out in her mind, for one. She knew the cats around her would know it was coming. It wasn't as simple as something that could easily been healed by a herb or two.

She was... dying. It was truly happening.

"Can you... go get Dapplebreeze... Crowtooth and Firestorm,... and.... Twilightstar?"

[ Hawkfur - @Mica ]
[ Crowtooth - @Rani ] [ Dapplebreeze (and Lightningstorm if you'd like!) ] [ Firestorm - @Dark ] [ Twilightstar - @Moonraven ]
[ okay so for this, brave was confirmed to have an untreatable illness/infection that has slowly gotten worse. so IC while her death might still be a shock, it would've been something that was discussed that lightningstorm wouldn't know how much time she'd have left, ok'd by alch ]