Marigoldpaw
She, Her\Apprentice\10 moons\Riverclan
"There will come a poet whose weapon is his word."
Purrks: Dreamwalker [ACTIVE] Chill of Death [ACTIVE]
- - -
Again. She could try again. Star was falling and heat finally subsided. Marigoldpaw welcomed the cool breeze on her white pelt. Days were getting... Weirder to say the least. After the gathering, Marigoldpaw had never felt more frazzled like she'd just been flipped straight onto her head, getting dizzy from the blood rush. Hopefully, if everything went right, she'd be able to get in contact with Rookfire and claw some answers out of his throat since Marigoldpaw lacked them. Goldfish had told her straight up that he was selfish, a danger, not to be trusted. And Marigoldpaw found it hard to believe her. No doubt she had good intentions, but Rookfire was so caught up in proving... Er, something... To Goldfish that he hadn't thought to thoroughly explain himself. They were friends after all... Right?
Maybe not a more logical side of her brain called out to her. Goldfish could be right. You haven't seen Rookfire in moons, it's like he gave up on you. No, no, no. Not yet. She wasn't sure yet. Only one way to find out.
The boney apprentice slipped inside of the apprentice den, staring at her mossbed with a somewhat sour expression. It was certainly missing some feathers or other ornaments. Soon. Hopefully. And with that last wistful thought, Marigoldpaw dragged herself into a heavy sleep, her body becoming like the rocks around her. Heavy. But not so unmovable.
****
Rain.
Since when had it been raining? Last she checked, she had a roof over her head. Hazel eyes blinked back raindrops, taking in the clouded sky as lightning winked through the clouds and thunder responded with a buzz of excitement. Marigoldpaw stiffed. Her dreamscape. It had been raining when she dragged Aspenpaw here on accident but not this harshly. It seemed as though a hurricane was threatening to rip her right off her paws. "Jeez, am I that unstable?" Marigoldpaw rumbled, her fur uncomfortably stuck to her skin with rain. She hated being wet, oh how she dreaded it.
The shaken she-cat stood to her paws with a puzzled expression. If she was here, that meant she was successful, which also meant that Rookfire was also here somewhere. Her eyes glided across the clearing, stopping every once in awhile to look at how the butterflies hid themselves under trees, how the flowers seemed to be wilting, dropping from being over watered. Dying. She looked back to the large willow tree at the center, it's long leaves whipping around in struggle.
The apprentice clenched her teeth. Would the herbs be okay?
She then shook her head. No time, not now. She needed to get Rookfire some shelter. While she doubted either him or her would possibly die in this dream, she was pretty certain that if the dream was terrifying enough that Rookfire would jolt awake as soon as he even entered her head. She swallowed in the humid air and yowled, "Rookfire! You are in uhm my dream! Come to me, I have er questions to ask you!"
Tags:
@alec // Rookfire (the man the myth the legend)
__________________
❝And the cats kill one by one!❞
- Hartebeest by Yalokre
between nights spent on cool stone and always on edge, that short time between coming to shadowclan and ultimately moving to the medicine den after the raid, rookfire had been busy sure, but what was most definitely upsetting was the fact that in the hazy state between action and inaction his mind resorted to at every stop, he appeared to have lost the ability to define his own thoughts. whilst his dreamscape was still active and its fog as cool and biting as ever, there was so walls he could phase through, no spirit he could tear away from his body in search of another, just. nothing. it was cool and open and seemingly endless. endless in all the worst ways.
today however, the enforcer awoke to differing surroundings, flat land similar to how he had originally taken in his own dreamscape, this one wasnt covered in thick fog though. a thunderstorm rage overhead, yet the moisture clinging to his pelt was all rain and no fog. it shouldve put him on edge, to wake up somewhere that he knew so very well could not be his, especially surrounded by harsh nature in the form of the storm, and being completely and utterly alone. rook did not feel any fear or worry creep up on him, no matter how hard he focussed on his feelings.
had he wanted, the enforcer was sure he couldve pulled himself out, left this behind and eventually forget, but the overall state of this..far too tempting to simply leave. whilst his had always been sort of dead, minimal nature besides the grass and trees, this dreamscape appeared to have a far more realistic look to it, yet everything appeared to be dying. drenched to the bone, he understood why bugs hid behind large trees and flowered wilted and curled in on themselves in an attempt to shield themselves from thick rain. the whole place had a thought of pressing atmosphere, very heavy like humid summer nights without any of the heat, leaving him and whoever else was around with a persistent pressure on every side.
torn ears twitched at the sound of his name, twisted and distorted but coming from right ahead. it was familiar, the voice, but something about the place had swallowed any identifying tunes. still, he followed the sound to its origin point, discovering to his shock (though it shouldve been pretty obvious from the start honestly) that it had been marigoldpaw of all cats. "here i am" he opened, dark pelted form finally coming into view.
between nights spent on cool stone and always on edge, that short time between coming to shadowclan and ultimately moving to the medicine den after the raid, rookfire had been busy sure, but what was most definitely upsetting was the fact that in the hazy state between action and inaction his mind resorted to at every stop, he appeared to have lost the ability to define his own thoughts. whilst his dreamscape was still active and its fog as cool and biting as ever, there was so walls he could phase through, no spirit he could tear away from his body in search of another, just. nothing. it was cool and open and seemingly endless. endless in all the worst ways.
today however, the enforcer awoke to differing surroundings, flat land similar to how he had originally taken in his own dreamscape, this one wasnt covered in thick fog though. a thunderstorm rage overhead, yet the moisture clinging to his pelt was all rain and no fog. it shouldve put him on edge, to wake up somewhere that he knew so very well could not be his, especially surrounded by harsh nature in the form of the storm, and being completely and utterly alone. rook did not feel any fear or worry creep up on him, no matter how hard he focussed on his feelings.
had he wanted, the enforcer was sure he couldve pulled himself out, left this behind and eventually forget, but the overall state of this..far too tempting to simply leave. whilst his had always been sort of dead, minimal nature besides the grass and trees, this dreamscape appeared to have a far more realistic look to it, yet everything appeared to be dying. drenched to the bone, he understood why bugs hid behind large trees and flowered wilted and curled in on themselves in an attempt to shield themselves from thick rain. the whole place had a thought of pressing atmosphere, very heavy like humid summer nights without any of the heat, leaving him and whoever else was around with a persistent pressure on every side.
torn ears twitched at the sound of his name, twisted and distorted but coming from right ahead. it was familiar, the voice, but something about the place had swallowed any identifying tunes. still, he followed the sound to its origin point, discovering to his shock (though it shouldve been pretty obvious from the start honestly) that it had been marigoldpaw of all cats. "here i am" he opened, dark pelted form finally coming into view.
Marigoldpaw
She, Her\Apprentice\10 moons\Riverclan
"There will come a poet whose weapon is his word."
Purrks: Dreamwalker [ACTIVE] Chill of Death [ACTIVE]
- - -
Ah. So he hadn't woken up? Great, now she could talk to him. The apprentice flinched back as more thunder laughed overhead, her bones aching as though she'd been aged by the storm itself. She gave the Shadowclan warrior a good look, her hazle eyes glossy with rain and her own tears. Tears she refused to blink out unless completely necessary. But what would necessary be in this situation? Cut off all connections with Rookfire and just act like nothing happened? Marigoldpaw flattened her ears, a determined expression shifting her features. No. No way. Answers first, questions later.
"Follow me!" She howled. Even though he was right infront of her, the weather was starting to get worse, and Marigoldpaw feared that she would be shaken awake instead. As she hurried to the opening of a willow tree (a cat sized hole beneath the roots covered by lichen) she couldn't help but wonder why Rookfire was so calm about this. Wouldn't he be confused too? Maybe even angry? No, not about the dream, but about her being here. Goldfish's apprentice. Her. He seemed to hate Goldfish and everything she stood for in his life, so why didn't Rookfire also grow to hate her as well? He had loved both of them at some point in time, but it seemed his affection towards her hadn't crashed and burned. Marigoldpaw wanted to smile and laugh, because it felt good, it felt like a good thing. But the humidity had her throat and the lightning chocked out her words along with the possibility of everything Goldfish said was true. She couldn't get her hopes up when everything could easily be set ablaze
She easily slinked her thin and wet body through the hole, her fur fluffing this way and that as she pushed through. Once she got inside, the tree was hollowed out yet still growing leaves by some miracle. The celling was high above her head and the smell of the room mimicked that of a medicine den. No rain could possibly drown out their voices nor reach them here.
As the apprentice stood, she realized something. The herbs, once gently and gingerly sorted, were now torn to shreds, as if somecat got really angry and decided to take it out on the plants instead. Sorrow crossed over her hazle eyes and she stiffened at the sight. She hoped that when she came back that she'd be in a better mental space as well. Maybe then the herbs would come back and she'd be able to sort them as she always did.
She then looked back to Rookfire, sadness pooling in her hazle eyes. "Hello uh old friend. Short time erm no see? Ha?" Marigoldpaw tried at an easygoing atmosphere but it obviously wasn't working. She then let out a sigh, her teeth clenching in nervousness."Stars above, I was so unbelievably happy to... To see you. At the uh gathering. But what happened is enough to make me wish for my time in Starclan.." Marigoldpaw fiddled and toyed with her paws as she spoke. "Please Rookfire, I just want answers. I really really wanna stay friends, you're my best friend." While it was a simple social title in most cats eyes, she viewed friendship as a privilege, an honor, a fate that only Starclan could make and break down.
She then straightened up as she attempted to put on a brave face, but it cracked under the pressure of the situation. "Rookfire. I want answers. Right now."
__________________
❝And the cats kill one by one!❞
- Hartebeest by Yalokre
rookfire wouldnt attempt to place the emotions passing over marigoldpaws face but by keeping his own limited to vague curiosity would probably be the best. honestly, there wasnt really much more anyway, he was curious what marigoldpaw had to say, and up until now, nothing had happened that wouldve made any other emotion appear relevant. the urgency that appeared to be radiating off her small body and carried in every world passing her lips was..odd? mostly because rookfire wasnt too bothered by the rain, only slightly annoyed by the thunder and general noise of it all, he followed willingly anyway. slipping into what appeared to be a den strongly inspired by one inhabited by a medicine cat. huh. the herbs looked horrible but his remaining white tipped ear twitched in interest all the same, eyeing his surroundings. he hadnt really taken marigoldpaw as one to navigate towards herbs and healing. but he also had not seen her in multible months. missed her apprentice ceremony.
nerves and perhaps fear, were obvious in marigoldpaws words and rookfire was once again reminded how bad he was at identifying and handling others emotions, not as much as his own, but the discomfort was there none the less. answers, she wanted answers, of course. if he would be able to give any answers that left the apprentice satisfied? he didnt know. "i never wanted to leave you mari, never." was that bad to say? to make her feel bad? it was the truth but, could the truth be wrong? wait now that he was thinking about it, he just skipped any and all introduction and jumped straight to possibly making her feel bad.
"answers right uhm. its,, its not whats wanted from me. i left and ended up as one of the elite of shadowclan, i'm not supposed to be choosing people over clans anymore and i cannot openly do so." rookfire began, scooting around the immediate question, he had no explanation for leaving right now. no explanation that she would like anyway. there was nothing to tell marigoldpaw that would make his selfish choice sound any less like one. "im sorry for what happened at the gathering and i know this doesnt excuse anything, but im still in a sensitive position, even though ive proven my loyalty to shadowclan and payed the price for it," the price he carried around visible to everyone every day, and one that still made his shoulder ache on cool nights, stiff and painful. "-to some people i will never be more than a cat in a position too large for their worth, never more than a riverclanner infiltrating shadowclans elite." half truth. he wasnt really that worried about what other cats saw in him. dawnstar and mistlewhisker accepted him, mossfreckle didnt hate him anymore, there was no one else to worry about any longer. "dont take that as a negative aspect of shadowclan. i simply have a appearance to uphold."
now, he couldnt quite continue avoiding what he knew marigoldpaw wanted to hear. well, he COULD, but he wouldnt because he respected her as a person, and as her friend, he would feel dirty for not offering the truth, or at the very least something to leave her satisfied and fearless. "i left..well,, i think you can feel it when fate is pulling you another way. nothing was going right, i was a shadow of what i have learned to be myself and i finally took the hint and left...i dont like to pretend i know what starclan is planning for each and everyone one of us based off little things, but i think i was never meant to stay. riverclan..it just didnt work."
"it never rains in southern california" [p]
