your eyes are like the moon and i want to be your star [ p ]

[elio]

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡
ﾟ。 Mossfreckle (ShC)
　ﾟ･｡･ﾟ they/he ~ medicine cat

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽ The High Priestess ☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

❦ The freckled oriental medicine cat dipped into a luxurious stretch, muscles rippled delicately beneath silken, lanky pelt as the felines body curved into a mountainous peak as his white tipped paws wrenched claws resistantly into the sun dappled and moist earth below before he uprighted himself in a fluid motion as his angular head canted to run a pink barbed tongue over his chocolatey russet fur. A soft thud echoed through the almost idyllic fantasia of the burrow which made up the medicine den in all its warm and herb scented glory, spring water cascaded in a dull rumble before it reached the ground below forming a rivulet with trickled in a cheery drone through the floral forest of ruffled orange buds and fallen golden stars which lined its fertile and abundant banks. Star hewn healer and shadowy enforcer moved as one as if they belonged not as two felines of flesh and blood and finite forms but as the twinkly stars in an inky and infinite midnight sky, mossy hues glinted playfully as they settled within silver orbs so akin to the moon, fogs of dreamlike states thickened by spite only to be wisped away by the alpine and floral scented zephyrs of many a balmy summer day spent almost frolicking amongst the conifer canopies on the search of herbs now commonplace between both the felines minds… something was different… it was not different in the same way it had been when crimson rage had coloured his vision only for rookfire’s sins to be washed clean with crimson blood igniting a welcoming spark of warmth relit within the spotted tabbies heart. Words were left unspoken but each one was heard so clearly as if yelled from the very peak of world, as if the fogs still whispered of deadly secrets now nothing more than a blooming romance and a blossoming friendship. White tipped paws moved in unison as Rookfire and Mossfreckle’s oriental forms slipped from the belly of the den - which Rookfire had been sleeping in ever since his tussle with Fadingstar and his self appointment as the healers personal guard dog - and through the lichen curtain which shrouded the den’s mouth and tickled with little brushes against the tom’s closely brushing pelts, whether it be from the criteria of the enforcer current status or something a little more special or simply an odd and misunderstood mingling of the two Mossfreckle continued on with a slight twinge of a smile curling the corners of his usually straight and absentminded maw, he was happy - happy for his presence and for the gnawing relive that Rookfire remained pressed against his side seemingly unphased and unshaken by the iced over indifferently corse words they had exchanged only a few moons before.

❦ For pleasure or profession the tom wasn’t sure which one fit the outing more, the herb stockades were always by the definition of the word bountiful but by the whispering taunts of the voices which resided within the starry eyes felines mind… insufficient… he was always lacking, always falling short… or so they said… but something about Rookfire made him feel like such a worthy coward, something about the tom’s faithful following scared him and intrigued him but he was ever so grateful, beyond the words he was capable of spilling form his white maw and he wished more than ever to write it within the stars, ever the dog at his door so willing to lay his Starclan granted and burden of a life down for those so much more worthy of it than him… what if he never had enough to safe the ones he loved… to save his clan like the honed tool he was. Star marked brow shook to clear the growing fogs within his starry mind, the skies still hazed grey but abstract little flickers of twinkles shown as if to reassure him on their own taunting way that he wasn’t utterly losing, but something about the way that sly silver intermingled with calm mossy hues made his heart flutter and sent the silvery moonlit moths from his twisting gut into the confines of his mind, their lacy wings and floating dances added a glinting of golden light which cut through the morbid fog like a star shooting in the onyx toned sky. A feeling so akin to the lightness of the naïveté coursed through his veins as if to flood away the adrenaline chills which had taken hold of the medic and prickled his pelt harshly while familiar claws raked his heart only to be ripped away by the brush of dark grey on pale brown, something within Mossfreckle snapped as he tumbled into Rookfire as they fell in a jumble of long legs into the fluffed bush of tall stems adorned by ruffled purple flowers, angular head tucked beneath the larger enforcers white chin, embarrassment rouged his cheeks but he couldn’t help but lick a stray fur strand down on his chest through a beaming smile. Adrenaline coursed intermingled with pure bliss which felt like the summer sun on his pelt, he was happy for the first time in such a long time in his starforsaken life - no strings attached and even as his mind reeled with the fear of rejection or retort he couldn’t help but snuggle in a little closer enjoying the bliss of a moment in which he wasn’t some god with lives in his paws as he balanced in a dangerous danse macabre between the living and dying world… he was simply him… and Rookfire was simply minky or Rook or whoever the feline he had comes to trust then hate then love was, because at the end of the day they just were… always had been…

{ @alec ~ Rook <3 // kicking my feet and squealing, I hope you like this dearest, they really are my stress ball }

[alec]

 

soft clouds, warming rays shining upon the dark canopy of pine needles overhead, breaking through the gaps and turning the soil a warm brown, speckled with golden spots of light, lush grass moving softly in the wind. it was peaceful, nothing out of the ordinary, greenleaf had been kind to shadowclan this season cycle, yet rookfire felt a weird floatiness as his dark pelt brushed mossfreckles, stomach feeling like it was ready to do a flip every time mossy green eyes met his silver ones. there was calm, a unfamiliar lack of discomfort, for once, none of the fears of rejection or pressures to be what he had always been supposed to be for mossfreckle, as if being himself was alright for once, be it simply for a few moments and in the company of one feline only. perhaps the one who had seen the most of who he truly was, not just the elaborate character the enforcer had built to protect himself, but the whole thing, from scrawny riverclan apprentice over standing blood drenched over golden pelt to cowering on the ground shaking, crying and wanting nothing more than to disappear. since that one fateful night mossfreckle entered his life, he had been the only constant, even after death threats, and blood shed, blood shed for him. he remained. papa died, mother left, sister gone, goldfish might as well die for all he cared, marigoldkit in riverclan, cobwebpaw a weak snake probably still begging for any kind of recognition within riverclan, but mossfreckle, he had never lied to him. never had he not put his cards on the table. he was the only one he could trust to not backstab him at the next turn whenever it would be good for them...
recognising his thoughts as straying into weird territory rookfire did his best to return to admiring the nature and the tom trotting besides him, lush and green, thriving, sweet with a shine in his eyes rook never wanted to see fade away, returning to its full glory after a leafbare spent in hiding, there was a comparison to his own life before shadowclan and now somewhere but rookfire couldnt focus long enough to pinpoint it , too distracted by silky spotted pelt pressed against his own and the emotion he could only describe as something between embarassment and happiness swirling in his stomach.
the odd pull, - cause to a lot of fleeting unecesarry brushes of dark pelt against light brown, standing closer than need be he had taken to worrying about at night - , he had been feeling to the other mostly quieted by brushing pelts, walking close enough to feel mossfreckles leg shift alongside his own, the enforcer didnt notice mossfreckle somehow knock into him in a way that threw both of them off their paws, sending them straight into a bush, before it was too late. now, reality catching up to him, rookfire looked around from where he lay, one of his legs trapped beneath mossfreckles back, to eye the location they had ended up in. surrounded by long stalks topped with blueish purple flowers, rookfire shouldve recognised the plant long before noticing the low rumble working its way from his chest up his throat. jaws parting almost automatically to let more of the smell in, rookfire wiggled a bit, freeing his leg and causing the flowers they had crushed to cloud them in another wave of airborne catmint. mind hazy, the enforcer too a moment to process mossfreckles head tucked under his own leaning into the embrace and pretty much shutting down his already overwhelmed mind momentarily.

_____________________

perhaps it was the freedom of not worrying about anything else for once, maybe he had just needed things to fall into place and this was the exact thing that would make him realise that oh. he was in love. desperately and embarassingly in love. briefly, he felt like he couldnt breathe, chest caving in on itself and crushing lungs and heart and everything else hidden behind ribs and icy walls built to protect everything dear to him. it couldnt be. he couldnt. there was nothing. nothing but rage and fear. riverclan had burnt the love his heart held to a crisp and left him with walls built of stone to protect what had been hurt by words and actions alone, there was nothing that should give him the ability to feel this. yet, here he was, memories crashing down around him, every little thing he did, every time he felt the burning urge to impress the other, every time he had acted foolishly. stars he was nauseous. this wasnt right. he couldnt be so dependent on another, he couldnt- no he had already found his figurative place by mossfreckles paws, there was no more falling from gace, there had never been any pride left to preserve. even without the realisation that the bright warmth mossfreckle made him feel was love, rookfire had automatically sorted himself into the place he belonged in. cold fear rushed through his body, washing away the haze floating around his mind and stopping the suns warming rays from reaching his body and his whole form tensed. what was he to do. what was the correct way to handle this. he wanted to run. where? to camp? no, he couldnt go where the herbalist could easily find him. further into the territory- wait- no, no he couldnt run, he couldnt- stars oh stars how..how could he handle this. with a slight tremble running through his limbs, the enforcer pulled mossfreckle closer, let the herbalists head rest against his throat whilst he stared into the pine needle covered branches overhead. he tried to keep the fear at bay, force all the emotions back inside, stop his headbeat from drumming a fast paced rhythm against his throat and chest and swallow the nausea. rook could deal with this when he was alone. he could do this without causing drama. there was no reason to have another breakdown in front of mossfreckle. he was overreacting. mossfreckle was just being kind. he was kind and he put up with a filthy riverclanner who clearly didnt know his place and wanted more than what he had been offered, even though what he got was more than he deserved. it was fine, it was fine, he was going to be fine. this would be fixed. he could fix this! panic built as his internal chanting, meant to calm himself down, grew more frantic, controlled breathing turned painful short gasps he couldnt keep concealed no matter how hard he tried. recognising the numb feeling in his paws, his thoughts slipping further and further into fear only, embarrassment only barely keeping a spot in his focus. he couldnt- this couldnt- not again, no no no- oh god he felt like he was dying. he opened his eyes, unsure when he had closed them, and found himself several tail lengths away from where he had known himself to be at last, cowering on the ground now instead of laying on his back with mossfreckle pressed close. he didnt feel like turning his insides out, yet the feeling of touching or having touched mossfreckle didnt really do much to help the lingering feeling of discomfort. it wasnt him. rookfire knew it wasnt because of the herbalist, he didnt- he just count- this- he was the one who couldnt- shouldnt! be- the dark tom pressed his eyes shut, white flashing in his vision so violently his head was spinning. like he had been under water too long, all air having left his body and now the water was pressing the life out of him, starting with the bright white feeling filling his head. the water- pressing down on his chest- breaking bones. pierced lungs- he couldnt breathe. he was going to die. claws dug into soil as if grasping a lifeline, perhaps an attempt to steady himself in attempt to inhale a lungful of air yet failing miserably, resulting in one choked of gasp, a period of coughing that robbed him of all vision as it scratched his lungs raw from the inside, before returning to sucking in miniscule breaths of air quickly.

[ @elio - i am. so sorry. im gonna go draw something sweet now to make up for this. this was not the plan. how did this happen. oh god. ]

[elio]

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡
ﾟ。 Mossfreckle (ShC)
　ﾟ･｡･ﾟ they/he ~ medicine cat

Take Care
beach house
0:44 ─●──────── -5:03
↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

Stand beside it, we can't hide the way you make us glow
It's no good unless it grows
Feel this burning, love of mine

❦ Sunlight flickered through verdant and thickly woven conifer canopies, golden rays blanketed the verdant and earthen tones of the territory grounds as if the dappling of sunlight was little fallen stars that adorned the word for a moment of momentary bliss, chasing the shadows away like the birds which looped in playful arches as they soared in the puffy clouded powder blue sky above them which barely peaked through ever branched when the little zephyrs of balmy summer breeze made teasing wisp of chills against silken pelts. Like the sparrows in the vast expanses of the sky above, they were so free, chained to the earth but the blooming feelings set a spark beneath their paws, had them feeling floaty and just a little beautifully foolish. Like the doves which cooed from the boughs, they were pure, bloody and mangled and selfish and cruel… yet… the newly budded thing between them was pure as the fresh fallen snow, their broken pieces fitting together like the lost gear to a time piece with a wonky chime, always an out of tune note - symphony turned cacophony - but even through the chaos it was pure, morbidly idyllic like crimson blood cascading over lily white snow. As freckled form fell in a tumble of dark greys and russeted chocolate hues Mossfreckle couldn’t help but simper, the corners of his white twinged maw curling up to reveal pristinely white canines as a soft and breathy chuckle slipped form his muzzle, he felt light-headed and dizzy, embarrassment rouged his cheeks and sent little firecrackers of warmth down his already flushed pelt as he lay in a jumble of lanky legs and off white coloured paws. Angular head turned to nuzzle into Rookfire’s chest which lay exposed like the soft soft fluff of his belly, like the side of him that never really got to see the light of day as the enforcer took all the good parts of him and buried them in the shadows of his past alongside the memories which probably ripped him apart in the wee hours of the night when the twilight slipped away and the eerie dreamscapes where a far worse place than the waking, fatigued hours would be as the sky turned watercolour then a pale, white splotched lapis. He was free, he was free, he was free… the he wasn’t… as if a tide had shifted he could feel the tom pulling away even as he pulled the herbalist closer to him, mossy hues darted open to meet sliver orbs but they remained closed and scrunched tightly as if an inner war was waging in his mind, his ship sinking and the lanky oriental form of his friend… his lover… was the life boat, the buoy keeping him afloat as the waves crashed over his head.

Deep inside the ever-spinning
Tell me, does it feel?
It's no good unless it's real
Hillsides burning
Wild-eyed turning
'Til we're running from it

❦ Words stuck like cloying honey in his throat, knotted and muddled he couldn’t put his feelings into words, say something, SAY ANYTHING, he wanted to say something to pull the dark pelted enforcer back to him, say something to make whatever he had done better, right the wrongs of some unseen mistake… something was wrong… ever so fundamentally wrong and the medicine cat couldn’t help but flinch, internally and self contained but within himself he could feel the toned muscles contracting beneath his pelt as his petite paws called to flee but his reeling, starry mind begged him to stay, begged him to do something. focus, focus, focus, focus, focus, focus, focus… an incantation, a prayer, a willing to be against the taunting tones of the voices which seemed to be drawn from their cages within his ribs and away form his heart, ugly beast reared their heads as the roar of ocean static filled his ears and seemingly singed the sensitive hairs within their canals. Two white paws slipping on stone, two white paws clinging to a cliffs edge as a whiskers length became a free fall became a panicked attempt at self preservation, grasping at composure he found and failed to keep as a mask slammed over his features and shattered almost instantaneously, he wouldn’t lie to the tom which now resided a few paces away, he wouldn’t hide his own fear which coursed through his vein as fiery adrenaline which mingled dangerously with the icy sensations a reality crashing down upon him rushing through his body. The words didn’t come as the tom stood and allowed shaking and weary paws to take a tentative step towards Rookfire as if he was a fawn ready to bolt at the whisper soft thud of a leave settling in a ripple across the forest soils, his gait was uneven as paw falls came off beat each other as meticulously steps become a fast paced beat became cautious once more. He loved him, plain and simple he loved him but the words wouldn’t form, the voices in his head a screaming static yet his own voice was no more than a coarse exhalation of stale air held in his lungs far too long as he forced his breathing to regulate, allowing himself only the internal feelings of slipping over the edge, nothing more nothing less.

I'd take care of you
If you'd ask me to
In a year or two

❦ A step lengths distance remained between the healer and the enforcer as Mossfreckle crouched next to the cowering form of a cat who looked so belittled compared to the reality of his stature, ”Rook, love,” usually lilting and twanged tones came out rasping and raw, emotion flooding his senses, ”Look at me, breath,” mossy hues remained on silver, moonlit ords hidden by lids which seemed to be shut far beyond the comfortable half lidded state of slumber, ”In, hold it, out, in, hold it, out…” words trailed off as he moved to rest his head on the toms back against his better judgement wanting to be close to the cowering and quivering tom whose body wracked with sobs yet to materialise more keen on taking the air from his lungs than setting the emotion free in a rivulet of unsaid said words… what had he done… oh stars what had he done now. One after another, one after another they had always left his side, his mother and his sister and his brother all dead before he even made anything of himself the kit lost in wanderlust and idyllic little fantasies that had always been stifled by the overbearing ministrations of a mother who had taken every little good thing, every memory and moment and possibly and made it hazed a little red with rage turning purple against the melancholic blues, all those who had manipulated him into false loves to their obsessive compulsions… he had no one… he had a whole clan of felines under his care and he was still alone, so starkly and utterly alone. Finding the words which had freed themselves from his throat like fox from its burrow, they felt dangerous and as he tried to articulate, tried to make them sound eloquent and self assured they simply just tumbled out, so very very very wrong they felt like bile in his throat as his weak tones echoed in the too quite confines of the towering tall pine forest which felt so vast yet so close to caving in on the two felines which laid in seemingly sole spot which escaped the warmth of the sun, ”I’m sorry… I tried not to, I tried to give you space… tried to be better, tried to be something for you, tried to be good… I’m sorry, I’m sorry for crawling back and I’m sorry for reading into this, I love you and im not sorry I do but I’m sorry that it’s me who loves you…” the words trailed off as if a dam had been slammed in place to stop the cascading of a waterfall from tearing a poorly settled town to shreds, that had never been how he wanted this to be, never how he had pictured those words falling from his maw but he just laid their so close to the tom but feeling worlds apart, craving the warmth of a dark grey pelt he expected to be shoved off of in the moments to come, not because he thought Rookfire was cruel… he just deserved better… deserved something that wasn’t used and broken and predetermined to be less than functional, he was in love and that was lovely but he couldn’t help but fear the disgust that could grab this moment and contort every leading moment to a darker foreshadowing the moments to come. Part of him knew it, knew that the flowers blooming the the wake of the raking trails of crimson left by anxieties claws where real, that the dreamscapes to the words that couldn’t be unsaid to the patched together friendship meant more and lead to more but he couldn’t help fall for the venomous lies that were whispered in his perked ears by figures unseen, he had ruined it all, like a crumbled paper it would never be the same… yet… Mossfreckle didn’t pull away… not yet… he wouldn’t let himself lose this, wouldn’t let himself make moments spent patching together broken trust into something more go to waste, wouldn’t let the love blooming between them wither.

I'll take care of you, take care of you
That's true

{ @alec ~ Rookfire }