Coldamber watches from her little space in StarClan as Lostspark is finally retired as Medicine Cat, and Mossfreckle is named the sole Medicine Cat, in addition to the announcement that he's chosen an apprentice for himself.
She should be happy that ShadowClan has proven to have moved past the tradition of leaving their apprentices without training. It should be something that made her smile.
Instead, it was just another reminder that Elmshadow was gone. She couldn't pinpoint when the grumpy little marsh stomper had gotten under her skin, and stole a piece of her affection, but it was undeniable that his absence affected her.
Even now, even so long after he'd died. She hadn't seen him in the Dark Forest, where he sweared to her he belonged.
Where was he, then?
Was it possible for a soul to simply disappear, to never reach the land of their Ancestors?
The idea didn't sit well with her. It made her feel weighed down, as if she was being crushed beneath something she couldn't begin to fathom.
It was a long time before she could bring herself to poke around Mossfreckle's herb storage. While she was could see that Lostspark had passed on a portion of her knowledge, she found that the new Medicine Cat's stores to be lacking things she knew very well that his mentor had learned.
It seemed they were not entirely past the shackles of the past.
That was fine. She'd simply do what she always did, and would take it up on herself to fill out Mossfreckle's résume.
She was finding that her distaste for Lostspark was increasing beyond just the knowledge that she squandered something that the WindClan healer would have killed for. (And she would have to exist with the fact it contributed heavily to why she had been so hesitant to visit Mossfreckle even before now)
Coldamber took a deep breath, and pushed aside her sorrow, her hatred, and everything that would hold her back. She needed to be unfettered by her emotions for this, or she might just shatter as she had with Lightningstorm. She couldn't afford to let her feelings get the better of her again.
With a clear mind, she sought out Mossfreckle's tether to the living world, and forged her connection to him. She contemplated the apprentice for a moment.... And realized she couldn't even remember their name properly. (Grackle, gorse, grouse.... It was... Something similar wasn't it?)
Instead, she remained latched to the brown tabby, waited a moment to secure her connection, and then gently pulled him into StarClan's embrace.
[ @
ellie ]
//The title is stolen from a Hozier song, and was originally intended for a dream with Lostspark, and I love it too much to just never use it\\