But why are we screaming? What is the point? Is it because of our looming existential dread, or the fact that the world and everything in it is developing much faster than we can keep up, rendering us useless, or is it simply because we want to bother the staff, who are most likely overworked here, because we wish to cause chaos and drama for no reason?
Is it morally upright to judge people for their screaming inside, when it is done just for fun? Is it okay to be serious in a room where people are screaming just for fun? It is an act that technically does not harm anyone, especially if the scream is not spoken but rather typed, and as the world likes to say; anything is okay as long as you don't hurt somebody. There should be nothing wrong with screaming.
But I do not like screaming, and so I wrote this long, long rant instead, that expresses my inner screams and materializes my self-hatred into text for people to look at.
Please do not read this, it will only bring you suffering. And we do not want that, do we?
Warriors, the series, is like me in the fact that it is slowly becoming irrelevant, decaying day by day until the only people who remember it are old, useless, forgotten, clinging to fragile remnants of our childhood that haven't existed for a long time already. Yet we delude ourselves in thinking this is not the case. We lie and pretend that we are still important, that we still matter in the greater scheme of things, when the truth is that the only way in which we matter is by the number of people we hurt. We cling to those grand memories that pretend to be full of so much greatness and inspiration and hope, when in fact all those hopes and wishes were trampled underneath our own feet already. There is no going back, and there is nobody to blame for this, not even the world, not even the system. We can only blame ourselves.
Perhaps that is why I love the series so much. It reminds me of what I could have been, what I was. It's silly, especially since there is the fact that even in the past, all that was great about me was my potential, and I was never actually great; but now that potential has shown itself to never be realized, that realization wipes away at childhood. It shows that it was not actually as grand as I thought it was, that everything was just a show put on for me going on in my own head. Now the series uses itself as an illusion to trap me in, driving me back to those nostalgic days when things weren't as bad, or rather, when I didn't know that things were bad. Because the truth hurts.
Maybe one day I can come here, free of guilt and worry. In the future, when I can sever my longing for my past self, and instead look forward to my future self. But that is far in the future. For now.
Last edited by Badwolf; July 17th, 2024 at 02:24 AM.
scream.
