so long, my luckless romance. [p]

[silver.]

tansy? wither
she/her // 16 moons // outsider

---

No one else needed to know except her. There was no one else now that she would wait so patiently at the border for. No one else in Riverclan she would even bother saying goodbye to like this. But if anyone deserved it it was Adderpaw. So she waits. And waits. And waits. Until the familiar scent of Adderpaw finds it's way to her along the breeze. Tail curled around her paws, she watches as the other molly approaches, a sad look in her eye. Little would she know this was the last time they would ever meet. For Tansy was gone. Tansy was dead. And it would be better that way from now on.

( sorry its a bit short ! )
adderpaw | @Fish

[Fish]

Adderpaw
Determined ⋆ Loyal ⋆ Lawful Good ⋆ She/Her ⋆ Beefed Up T3
“One day I’ll be the greatest warrior of all the clans!”
@silver.
All good!

Adderpaw would lie about her little trips out to the boarder. Everything was so disorganized that she found gaps in the armor, moments an apprentice could sneak out of the camp and back without anyone being the wiser. Adderpaw knew that she should tell someone about this. She knew that someone was going to get hurt if she didn't let this out but there was only one person she would ever risk herself for just to see. Risk her warriorhood just to see their oh so rare smile. Tansy.

Little did Adderpaw knew that she was going to get so hurt in this outing. In a way she never thought of.

The sneaky apprentice kept herself low as she traveled along the border. Her heart burned and her brain yelled at her. The heart wanted to see her dear old friend, her brain wouldn't stop yelling about how she should go back to camp and tell the others the crime she committed and beg for a lighter sentence. Before her brain could win the fight she caught a sweet scent she recognized instantly. "Tansy!" She called out as she bounded towards the other shecat.

[silver.]

wither
she/her // 16 moons // outsider

---

The call of her 'name' makes her visibly cringe, eyes downcast and unable to look at Adderpaw any longer. The excitement in her voice, in her expression... Wither was about to crush her heart into a million little pieces willingly. Purposefully. How despicable. The moment was too painful. So painful she can't even force a smile to reassure the other that something wasn't wrong. She looks back up to finally meet her gaze and heaves a sigh through her nose. Here goes nothing.

"Hey, Adderpaw." She starts, again unable to look her in the eye. The guilt... It was already beginning to eat away at her. Suffocate her as if she were drowning in the nearest river on the territory. "We need to talk about something. An'... I'm sorry. In advance. Because we can't... Can't do this anymore."

Ripping off the bandaid was the hard part. With that finished, she can look up to eye her reaction with a glassy stare, ears already laid back against the top of her head.

"I met with Fadingsun. I'm not coming back to Riverclan."

That day still forces painful tears to sting at her eyes whenever she had the displeasure of thinking on it. The words he said to her... The pain of a child forced to grow up too soon told she wasn't good enough. Selfish. Unworthy. It wasn't fair. His judgement wasn't fair. He wasn't even there when she was suffering-- why did he get a say in it in the first place? Turning away a lost soul, yearning to return home... How cruel.

adderpaw | @Fish

[Fish]

Adderpaw
Determined ⋆ Loyal ⋆ Lawful Good ⋆ She/Her ⋆ Beefed Up T3
“One day I’ll be the greatest warrior of all the clans!”

@silver.

Did you hear that? That was the sound of an apprentice's heart breaking. Her face was filled with horror at the news, the dreadful news. No, no but why? What did they—Fadingsun. Suddenly all of Adderpaw's horror and sorrow suddenly changed to anger.

She dug her little claws into the dirt as she tried her best not to scream out into infinity—to deafen Starclan with her anger. Her body shook, blood rushed in her ears, the broken heart was raging with thumps. "This clan is useless!" She couldn't help but shout that out. "...It's pathetic.." Adderpaw mumbled out as she thought about her future going forwards. Was it actually worth staying in this sinking ship or was Adderpaw letting her talents go to waste here?

"Tansy I don't see the point anymore.." Adderpaw let out in a heavy sigh as she sat down, her anger fizzling away. "Fadingsun is strict and quick to change his mind with a strong temper, the rest of the clan is constantly threatening to kill each other or disrespecting everything and anything under the goddamn sun."

"And they can't see they are letting a wonderful cat such as yourself go? Not allowing you to come back home after they treated you so poorly while still so young. Threatening your life over nothing and a half. This clan needed to make up for what it did to you..."

"I wonder if other clans have to deal with this mess all the time." Adderpaw sighed out looking defeated. How could they take her Tansy away like this? It hurt, it hurt so bad that there was nothing that Adderpaw could do to change cat's minds. If she tried then they would know that she went out to see Tansy in secret and knowing how heartless her clan was they would just exile her to be with Tansy all she wanted! Awful.

[silver.]

wither
she/her // 16 moons // outsider

---

Anger was something she expected. When the younger molly's claws unsheathe and she's spatting an insult at the mess that was Riverclan she again heaves a sigh. Would it help to tell her how their interaction had gone down? Or would it simply fan the flames? As much as she hated Riverclan right now it was still Adderpaw's home. The last thing she wanted was for her to end up like... Her.

"It didn't matter how everyone treated me. In his eyes I'm selfish."

In that moment she didn't see any reason to argue with the new Riverclan leader. She simply turned and ran, like the coward she was. It was better not to argue. Apparently arguing her case just dug her grave even deeper than before. It prolonged her loneliness. Her suffering. Her fate. All at once, though, Wither narrows her eyes at the ground.

"Riverclan... Is useless."

The tears that stream down her cheeks are hot. They burn her pelt and in an instant she's fixing Adderpaw with an infuriated gaze. The flash of anger, pain, regret-- everything all at once in her eyes. Wither-- no, Tansypaw-- deserved to be angry. Deserved recognition. She was a good medicine cat. The best damned medicine cat Riverclan had had in a long while. She worked hard, starved herself, went out on patrols-- for what?! For nothing! Riverclan was nothing but a group of uncoordinated, useless, ungrateful wretches!

"All of them... I gave my life for them for what? For what?!" She snaps, ears pinned against the top of her head and her teeth bared. "So what I took my herbs with me-- they were mine! I worked hard to gather them almost by myself because no one in that place wanted to give me any help! And this is the thanks I get?! To live alone for the rest of my life-- oh no, wait, come back in a moon and try again. Do some self reflection. Well I've done some reflection an' I ain't ever givin' Riverclan an ounce of my hard work ever again!"

When she's finished with her outburst, she pants and heaves, her small frame trembling with the effort of her anger. The anger she's withheld for moons. Let fester and burn in her body, eager to escape. It felt... Good. Good to let it out. But Adderpaw wasn't the one that needed to hear it. But... Who was the right person? Wither doesn't know. Just knows that it isn't her only lasting friend.

"S-So... This is goodbye, Adderpaw. 'm sorry."

adderpaw | @Fish

[Fish]

Adderpaw
Determined ⋆ Loyal ⋆ Lawful Good ⋆ She/Her ⋆ Beefed Up T3
“One day I’ll be the greatest warrior of all the clans!”
@silver.

Adderpaw was taken aback for a moment when she heard Tansy shout out like that. She was usually a wallflower. Yet, Adderpaw understood her anger and her reasoning. Though to Fadingsun that might as well be saying just kill me already. Something that she would never want to happen to her Tansy... "I don't blame you for taking those herbs at all.. The clan treated you so badly and you needed something to take with you on your journey away. Hell, the clan never even tried to help. It felt like at points it was just me restocking the herb storage.." Adderpaw sighed thinking back to the warriors lazing in the sun while she worked so hard.

"I want to come with you but..." She held back her words. She didn't know what the but was.

"I'LL BECOME THE LEADER OF RIVERCLAN AND ACCEPT YOU BACK IN AN INSTANT. I WILL MAKE SURE THE CLAN WILL NEVER ACT SO CRUELLY AGAIN!!!" She screamed out. Starclan needed to know her intent. Her heart pounded in its rage. She wouldn't let this injustice go unpunished and she would do it in the only way she knew. From the inside.

[silver.]

wither
she/her // 16 moons // outsider

---

It was quite the declaration... Vowing to become the leader of Riverclan to allow her to come back home to her. But she simply shakes her head in response to her words. Truth was at this point Wither didn't want to come back. Riverclan had done nothing but betray her time and time again. From the moment Falconfeather began to appear in her den less and less. All alone. The magnet for angry clan mates when she was nothing but a drowning apprentice learning as best she could and doing as best she could. She had been drowning. And she was the only one help her claw her way out. Avoiding Adderpaw's gaze once more she stares down at her paws. Her trembling paws. How pathetic. She would never make for a decent warrior, even if she had agreed with Fadingsun and followed him home that day.

"I'm never comin' back, Adderpaw. It'd be better for ya if ya just forgot about me."

At least someone back home believed in her. Understood her intentions. Understood that it was fair for her to have done what she did. But truth of the matter was that apparently all the rest of the clan only met her decision with scorn. Didn't stop to think that she was a suffering child. Didn't care to think about her or how she felt even once. Sigh. Just forget it, Wither. Forget them all.

"I had t'a at least say goodbye. It wouldn't be fair to you if I didn't. Yer the only one that really cares about me, so..."

adderpaw | @Fish

[Fish]

Adderpaw
Determined ⋆ Loyal ⋆ Lawful Good ⋆ She/Her ⋆ Beefed Up T3
“One day I’ll be the greatest warrior of all the clans!”
@silver.

"But..." Adderpaw mumbled out. What could she do to convince her otherwise? Was there actually anything? Tansy seemed so determined to leave just as Adderpaw was determined to say, if only it was out of a desire to turn her clan around and not for the love of the clan. That love had long disappeared

"Please, I'm begging you, don't go..." Adderpaw started to sob out. She didn't want to let go, she didn't want to keep letting go of everyone that she cared about. "If you leave for good I'll..." She mumbled off the last bit, truth be told she didn't know what she would do. Tansy didn't feel the same way about her as she did herself. Following love would lead to only more heartbreak. Despite how much Adderpaw wanted it not to be it just was....

It was not meant to be

[silver.]

wither
she/her // 16 moons // outsider

---

She'll? She'll what? As curious as Wither was to find out, she knew that she needed to go and soon. The longer this was drawn out the harder it would be to leave it all behind. So she takes a few steps back, away from Adderpaw, with a sad smile.

"Hey, chin up. You'll forget about me, I promise. A-An' who knows... Maybe we'll see each other again?"

Maybe one day. Maybe in another life. Who knew. Wither had no idea what was in store for her down the line that was life. As much as she wanted Adderpaw to run away with her so she wouldn't be alone that was... Selfish. There was no way she could do that to her. No way she could ask that of her. Adderpaw had a future. Had goals and a life. Wither had nothing. All she would do is hold the other back. So she turns and takes a few more painful steps away from the crying molly, trying hard not to look over her shoulder.

"Don't wait for me. Ya deserve to be happy, y'know. Deserve to find someone that won't leave ya and makes ya feel like you're on top of the world. Thanks for everything. You're my only real friend, Adderpaw, an' you're gonna do great things. I just know it."

adderpaw | @Fish

[Fish]

Adderpaw
Determined ⋆ Loyal ⋆ Lawful Good ⋆ She/Her ⋆ Beefed Up T3
“One day I’ll be the greatest warrior of all the clans!”
@silver.

"I'll never forget about you Tansy, you are unforgettable to me. I swear you will be the last cat I forget in my olden age when all else fades." Adderpaw promised as she felt so weak. So useless at this moment. "I don't know if I will find anyone else.. I mean no ill will to the others but seeing all the other cats in our clan. Well, I might as well fall in love with crow food." Everyone was so angry, so bitter, so awful. There was nothing in this clan to love, to foster.. Only anger lived there.

"If you ever decide to come back I will be here to welcome you in with open love."

With that Adderpaw got up and head bumped Tansy's shoulder lovingly, followed up with a soft smile trying to hide the pain before speaking potential her final words to her beloved. "Be safe out there Tansy. Stay strong and brave, you may not think you are but I can see that you are such a strong cat. Never forget it."