Sweet Nightmares... [P]

[Tiabirb]

Sweetsong of RiverClan

She/Her
34 Moons
Purrks:

Herbal Knowledge T1; Flock Together T1; Dreamwalker
----------------------------------------------------------------

The last feathers fell into the nest, and delicate white paws worked to fix and weave them into place. Small early newleaf blossoms decorated the pristinely crafted nest, and as Sweetsong took a moment to admire, and feel a silly bit of guilt for having to ruin it with sleep, she felt a peaceful feeling wash over her. She glanced toward the starlit sky one last time before she tucked herself into her nest and bowed her head.

"Thank you StarClan for another day," She whispered fervently, her eyes closed, "Thank you for guiding my paws as you always have, and I pray that you always will. May tomorrow bring your grace and love to RiverClan...and to all of the Clans, and I pray each and every one rests peacefully tonight..."
With her prayer completed, Sweetsong settled deeper into her mossy nest, resting her head next to the blossom of a poppy flower. She closed her eyes, welcoming the dreams she would have.

But the sleep she found was one she had never felt before. Never experienced...she was falling. Falling in the dark. She twisted herself around, her instinct to catch herself overwhelming. She tried to open her eyes, but she couldn't tell if they were open or not. It was that dark. It was like being blind. Panic filled her limbs, and she braced for impact. But when she landed, it wasn't solid ground. A torrential river engulfed her, and Sweetsong felt water fill her nose and ears, her jaws clamped shut tight to stop herself from breathing more in. Her head burst from the water, and she coughed and spit, her eyes wide with terror as the monstrous river swept her away into this nightmare.


When she opened her eyes, she was stricken with some awful feeling that she was in the wrong place. Quite immediately so. She laid on the water's edge, her fur soaked and plastered to her small frame. Her tail and back legs were still submerged in the dark water. Sweetsong coughed and heaved, spewing black water from her lungs and stomach. Her entire body ached.
This wasn't her dream...was it? No...she had never experienced something like this before.
A terrified thought entered her mind. Was she in...the Dark Forest!?! But why!? She had never strayed from StarClan, from the warrior code. Not once! Thorns snagged in her tail, making her jump, but the panicked thoughts persists.
Had she offended StarClan? Was she being punished? Tested?

More thorns seemed to appear, snaring around her paws and catching her ears. Sweetsong shook them away, but it was like the briars were alive! Sweetsong felt them tighten their hold on her left paw, and this was when she truly began to panic. She struggled to free herself, and the moment she could, she ran blindly through the growing brambles and piercing thorns. They scraped and scratched her sodden pelt, and Sweetsong kept running.
Until the trees appeared. The ground was craggy and rocky, but the trees were thick, black and massive. Sweetsong stared with a mixture of awe and fear, approaching one of the towering trees. The roots were bigger than her, and they fed and snaked all over the path. She picked her way cautiously through the roots, breathing a sigh of relief when the brambles seemed to retreat, no longer in pursuit.
She crept her way over the roots until the roots themselves were a solid path, and as she padded along, she did her best to ignore the annoying echoes around her. The wind was speaking, but she didn't recognize any of the voices, nor did she listen. Something had grabbed her attention now, and as she looked down, past her paws, past the roots...

There was no ground below! Only darkness.

Then a new thought occurred; If this wasn't her dream...then whose was it? She looked back after the way she had come. She didn't realize until now, but she had taken a very specific journey to get here, and this realization brought a new concern.
Who was so tormented that their dreams were a literal nightmare? Her face set into one of timid determination, but determination nonetheless. She had been called here. Someone had...drawn her to them. Looking back at the roots, Sweetsong began to tear them away with her claws until an opening in the path was revealed.
Taking a deep breath, she plunged into the darkness as if diving back into the torrential river that had brought her here.
The fall was shorter this time. Her paws touched solid, rocky ground. Faint moonlight poured in from overhead, illuminating a single cavern. A single tree grew in the center of this cavern, the silver light dousing its dark, pitiful branches, bathing it aglow. Sweetsong watched it carefully for a time, and then her eyes adjusted a little more as she walked cautiously toward this tree.

She had a feeling she was about to find the owner of this nightmare...

@SpiritedWarrior

[SpiritedWarrior]

Crowsong

Purrks: Heightened Perception and Agatha Kitty

@Tiabirb

The swarms of reality had plagued his mind for moons. Ever since Crowpaw could remember, in fact. Well... actually, ever since Quietpaw had died. That day had marked the end of many things for Crowpaw. It marked the end of his happiness. His light in life was his sister. And his mother had died giving birth to his stillborn brothers and Bluekit. Bluekit, unfortunately, was gone too. She had been gone for moons.

Everything that had happened after Quailpaw's return to ThunderClan felt like it was every bit of his doing. He couldn't stop his sister from bleeding. He couldn't stop StarClan or the Dark Forest (really whoever ended up taking her) from taking his mother. But he could've stopped Bluekit's fate... or at least postponed it. She had gone missing as a kit, and after Sootfur disappeared, it was up to Crowpaw to keep his little sister safe.

Losing family was a pain everyone had to deal with, but with Crowpaw, the impact his family had on him made his state of mind much worse than it should be. He hoped his grandpaw, Pondwhisker, was still in RiverClan. Happy as can be. But he really didn't know, nor did he have the energy to show he cared. How could he? Pondwhisker wasn't around him all the time. His parents weren't either.

He sat there, in his nightmare, with his head hung low under the single tree in the cavern. "I'm so sorry... I'm sorry to everyone. I... I failed you all. I was never the son anyone wanted... I was never the brother anyone needed. I was never the protector I should have been." he let silent tears drip from the corners of his eyes. I'm not even a warrior... I'm nearly 20 moons old! Even to the whole of ThunderClan I've failed...

"I wasn't even twelve moons old. And I lost you all..." It had been thirteen moons since he had watched his sister die. And it has been about seven or eight moons since his youngest sister went missing. Lavenderpaw and Fallowkit were still missing too. "H-how... how can I... how can I go on without a single family member left? I can't even forgive you, Thrushstar, for disowning me and being a negligent father. And you- Quailfur... you and Thrushstar never had a proper relationship with any of your kits."

Proper relationship... that was probably the most polite way to describe what that mess was. Crowpaw had raised himself, looked after Quietpaw, and looked after Bluekit until she went missing. He had managed to bring a lot of his problems to light the day he and Bluekit were disowned. But...

"Bluekit you were so innocent to it all... you were disowned by our father... and none of it was your fault." It was all his. All of it! Crowpaw was struggling to stay afloat in life. In ThunderClan, there was nothing for him except his littermates' grave. And he'd remain in ThunderClan no matter how unhappy he was. He couldn't leave his sister behind. But it wasn't just because of his feelings toward the cause of her death. It was because he had promised her he would always be with her. Even if they were in two different places, he knew Quietpaw would be roaming the starry ThunderClan territories.

Besides, Thrushstar had told Crowpaw he could dig up her grave and take that and his less-than-moon old sister to RiverClan. But by doing that, it would be disrespecting her death. Thrushstar could probably never have experienced such a thing, but Crowpaw wasn't going to disrespect his sister's grave after she had sacrificed her life for his. It would be wrong and not warrior-like. Really it would be dishonorable and Crowpaw was not about dishonor, especially when it comes to family members.

With his speaking done, Crowpaw let out a growl and got up from where he sat. His hackles were raised and his teeth were bared. Coming out from behind the tree, he unsheathed his claws and stared at the strange cat that stood before him. "If you've come to gloat about your victory, StarClanner, I suggest you keep it to yourself. You've taken my family and my light in life. What more do you want from me? I've lost everything I've ever had."

It took him a moment, but he then realized this stranger was not of StarClan. There were no stars in her pelt. Nor were there the dark shadows of the Dark Forest warriors. "I've never met you. Why are you walking in my dream?"

[Tiabirb]

Sweetsong of RiverClan

She/Her
34 Moons
Purrks:

Herbal Knowledge T1; Flock Together T1; Dreamwalker
----------------------------------------------------------------


She heard whispers in the dark, coming from the other side of the tree. Fervent words, emotional. Sweetsong continued to approach. And then the cat showed themselves.
He was faced with two wide green eyes, warm pools of worry and sadness. Despite his hostility, she simply stared at him in a mixture of awe and thoughtfulness. He thought she was from StarClan? Oh goodness...he seemed to be very angry with them. It didn't take him long to realize she was in fact, just another cat like him. She took in his brown pelt, covered in black tabby stripes, the missing ear, the scars. He was so...young. And he had so many lasting scars.

Inside and out.

"You called me here," She replied, her voice soft and gentle. It was an honest answer, and she had no other explanation. "I'm so sorry to intrude...I mean no harm, I promise." She lowered her gaze down to her paws, "I am not from StarClan...in truth, I did not know I could visit the dreams of others..." The small pale ginger tabby admitted shyly, but then her gaze lifted, that warm, unconditionally calm green gaze, and she smiled, "I am here for a reason, and that reason is you."

She looked around the cave. It was so empty. Lonely. And yet the feeling in the air was heavy and burdening. It wouldn't do to linger here. "My name is Sweetsong..." She murmured, "Of RiverClan.."
The recent battle came to mind, and she wondered if he had known about it. Would he have lost someone in that awful fight? Had he lost anyone before? She couldn't remember seeing his pelt among the flurry of tails and paws when ThunderClan had raided. Many in her Clan had believed the raid had been injust and unprovoked. But Sweetsong knew that RiverClan had antagonized their neighbors immensely in the last year...and ThunderClan had been the first to respond. She couldn't blame her neighbors for their anger towards her Clan, but she knew that if grudges kept growing deeper, and blood spilled more...

Then how could RiverClan ever hope for peace? In such a time where they need to rebuild so desperately? It broke her heart to see the Clans tear themselves apart...
But not as much as it broke her heart to see this poor cat being utterly torn apart by himself.


"Did you want to take a walk?" Sweetsong asked him suddenly, her ears perking up as she gave him a shy smile, green eyes shining with hope.

@SpiritedWarrior

[SpiritedWarrior]

Crowpaw
Purrks: Heightened Perception and Agatha Kitty
@Tiabirb

Crowpaw huffed in disbelief. This cat was not dead. But ShadowClan and RiverClan are ThunderClan's enemies. WindClan could care less about ThunderClan. What did this she-cat mean by "I mean no harm?" Two out of the four Clans hated ThunderClan and picked multiple battles with them as of recent times. "Promises mean nothing to me." Not anymore anyway. Promises could be broken. Vows could be broken. There was not one cat in the world he could trust. "How could I have called you here?" Was his pain too much for StarClan to come console him that they had sent another cat, a living one nonetheless, to him?

There was nothing but anger and hate in his eyes with only a slight bit of curiosity. His widened as this stranger, Sweetsong, introduced herself. RiverClan? A little bit of hope flickered in his chest, defrosting the hardened heart that had formed after many moons. "RiverClan, huh? Do you happen to see a... uh, elder-aged warrior that goes by the name Pondwhisker around your camp?"

If StarClan could do anything to redeem themselves in his eyes, it was making sure his grandpaw was alive and well in his home. The one cat, aside from Quietpaw, who had ever loved him. Who better to ask than the RiverClanner that stood before him? No one else would answer him simply because their Clans were enemies. And if he ever accidentally pulled a stupid stunt, he'd be killed for it by his own leader.

"I suppose I've got no choice beings that you found your way to my dream. Or... whatever you call this chaotic dark void of... of..." His voice trailed off. He felt bad, but he couldn't risk letting this RiverClanner know that he was vulnerable. Not until she shares the news of his grandpaw. Why? Well... he wouldn't be able to contain his emotions if he was told his grandpaw was missing or dead. "Lead the way... Sweetsong."

He rolled his shoulders back and bunched them together once he felt a satisfying pop. Once his muscles were bunched, he leapt down from his spot and padded to the warrior. Now that they were closer together, he could see her tiny frame. She looked much skinnier than he had ever seen a cat look before. "You a new warrior?"

[Tiabirb]

Sweetsong of RiverClan

She/Her
34 Moons
Purrks:

Herbal Knowledge T1; Flock Together T1; Dreamwalker
----------------------------------------------------------------


She gazed deep into his hate. But she saw sorrow within. She let out a small chuckle, "I see... you have been hurt by those closest. Trust is so easily broken, and so hard to repair..." She shook her head, "I don't know. I went to sleep, expecting dreams, and I was falling into yours. I thought it was mine, but then I realized I was being led somewhere...and that somewhere is you." She looked around again, then asked, "Have you tried leaving on your own?"
She spoke of the cavern, the heavy feeling that weighed down on them. She turned, gesturing with her fluffy tail for him to walk beside her. She stood a little under his shoulder in height, but she held her chin and tail high, her demeanor friendly and inviting. Sweetsong glanced over upon hearing the question of an elder called Pondwhisker. Someone else dear to Crowpaw, she presumed.
But she did not recall a Pondwhisker in some moons, and so she shook her head slowly, "I am so very sorry to tell you that he walks with StarClan...I did not know him myself..." Green eyes filled with tears looked up at Crowpaw, worried and anxious of how this news would affect him, ready to cry just knowing how this could hurt him.... She hated having to be the one to share the news with him. Why wouldn't Pondwhisker come to Crowpaw himself to tell him he had gone?
How lonely Crowpaw must be. She was surprised to know he was still an apprentice. He was very large for one. Had he been held back?

But just as she was surprised that he was still a 'paw, she was surprised when he asked if she was a new warrior. Sweetsong felt her ears burn. "N-no, I'm not a new warrior..." She admitted sheepishly, "I've been a warrior for at least....two years now? I was born in early newleaf...thirty-four moons ago," Sweetsong whispered. "My size can be a bit...off-putting, I suppose.."

@SpiritedWarrior

[SpiritedWarrior]

Crowpaw
Purrks: Heightened Perception and Agatha Kitty
@Tiabirb

It infuriated Crowpaw at the sight of this rival Clanner laughing at his expense. Then again, what could he have expected? She was merely an enemy who's Clan had fought his. He clenched his jaw in anger, but said nothing for fear of doing or saying something he'd regret.

"How can I? So many parts of my life happened because of me. And none of those parts were good." he looked around at the cavern, he was used to the heavy air of burden now, but knew that it would be good to walk out and just talk.

"N-no... no no no no." The tears that had once dried up began to flow once more, faster than ever. He didn't want to believe it, but the tone of Sweetsong's voice and her expression left him no other choice. He wanted nothing more than to yowl to the stars and curse them for what they had done to him. "I... it..." he struggled to find the words to explain who Pondwhisker was to him. Sweetsong most likely didn't know about their relationship. He turned his head away and buried his nose in his shoulder the best he could to get a hold of himself before facing Sweetsong once more.

"He was my grandpaw..." the mud-brown tabby tom managed to croak. Now he truly was the only living member of his family. His breath came in quick, sharp gasps as the words spewed out of his mouth, no control in what he was saying. "Quietpaw, Fallowkit, Lavenderpaw, Quailfur, Thrushstar, Bluetkit, Bluekit, Archkit... now my grandpaw: Pondwhisker. I'm the last of my family... t-they're all... d-dead..."

Now that he realized what he was saying, he bit his tongue and gulped. "I- I'm sorry... I r-really d-didn't mean to tell you all that. Um... I-I'm Crowpaw, by the way. Crowpaw of miserable, unhelpful ThunderClan." It probably wasn't the best idea to say such things about his birth Clan, but that's how he felt about them. ThunderClan had refused to help him when he's clearly struggling. He ignored most of Sweetsong's last statement. 34 moon old warrior, that's it. "Uh- I'm... I'm coming up on 20 moons."

[Tiabirb]

Sweetsong of RiverClan

She/Her
34 Moons
Purrks:

Herbal Knowledge T1; Flock Together T1; Dreamwalker
----------------------------------------------------------------


"Go ahead," Her voice was a whisper, and regardless of Clan, of loyalty, of birth, Sweetsong wanted to take his pain away. Through her own tears, she began speaking, her words hushed and fervent, "Let it out, Crowpaw. It's okay to grieve. You should have known so much sooner..." She said to him. Not knowing what else to do, Sweetsong pressed close to Crowpaw, her eyes closed and her head bowed. Even though she could not fathom the true depths of this stranger's pain, it was tangible, and she wept for him. For Crowpaw, if not for the cats who had left him all alone.

She wept alongside him until the worst had passed, and when he turned to face her again she took a step back, watching him closely while she tried to wipe away her eyes to clear them. "You are so very young to endure so much...how unfortunate...but you are the last one standing of your bloodline; That means you have the power to clean the sins of those before...to take what lessons and hardships are buried within your pain and...do better. That's all we can do when those before us fail."

She went quiet for a time, considering how to respond his comments of his Clan. He was miserable, unhappy and everything from his expression to his words, from posture to tone, practically screamed at her. "I'm so deeply sorry for your agony..." She reached a small white paw up, hesitated, then brought it back down. She wasn't sure what she could say, or do...she didn't want to invade his space more than she already had. If trespassing into a totally random dream wasn't an invasion enough!

@SpiritedWarrior

[SpiritedWarrior]

Crowpaw
Purrks: Heightened Perception and Agatha Kitty
@Tiabirb

Crowpaw flinched the moment he registered that Sweetsong had gotten much closer. She, too, was crying. For the first time in his life, he felt like was given mercy. That was the closest he got to a hug in moons, and this action was coming from a complete stranger from an enemy Clan. "You don't know the half of it, Sweetsong. I don't even know why I mourn for Thrushstar or Quailfur. They were... the worst parents." Why did he mourn for Thrushstar and Quailfur? They had neglected him all his life, only acknowledging him when he was trying to get his point across to them or when he got in trouble that one time when he was a kit.

As much as he wanted to believe it, how could he really change the course of events and make all the lives in his family after him better? How could he even get a family? He couldn't trust a single cat alive and the only two he would really trust that are dead would be his sister and grandpaw.

"I... I would tell you all that happened to make me hate my own Clan and parents, but... I don't know if you'd want to. It's a heavy burden and I don't wish to just... pass it on to someone else without knowing they could handle it."

Sweetsong was so... nice compared to his Clanmates. Why were his Clanmates incapable of such care? It felt odd to have spoken about his family and not get chastised because of it. And Crowpaw had never expected the cat to actually care about his emotions to be an enemy warrior. The young tom let out a sigh and began to walk once more, though he didn't know where he'd end up going. The trees? The thorns? Probably the trees... they're a lot less sharp. "I'm sorry... I must be confusing you. I should like ThunderClan. It's where I was born, but... I just can't. I used to, but that was when I was a real young kit. As I got older, I just... my life went downhill. Fast, too. One thing after another, one death, one... one hardship. I get that that's life, but I just felt like it could've been easier. I know it could've been easier. But... no one ever helped me."

He would think StarClan had led Sweetsong to him, to his dream, but he found that hard considering his ancestors brought him nothing but trouble. Crowpaw was a death magnet. Everyone seemed to die around him. How is that normal for anyone...?

[Tiabirb]

Sweetsong of RiverClan

She/Her
34 Moons
Purrks:

Herbal Knowledge T1; Flock Together T1; Dreamwalker
----------------------------------------------------------------


While he spoke, she listened. Sometimes that is all that mattered. He wanted to be heard...to be seen and his pain shared. Sweetsong listened, the tears flowing again as they continued on, the cave's floor turning to sand, and from the incline, she could they they were going up. It was still very dark, but as the sky began to show, she could see starlight above, and hear something odd.

It sounded like the river she had been swept up into, and the fur on her spine lifted fearfully. But she had come this far, and she pressed onward. She was not prepared for the sight before her.
A shining expanse of water was before them, the waves lapping hungrily at the sandy shore. She looked behind them, seeing the tunnel they had left. "Interesting," Sweetsong murmured. "Come on," She said to Crowpaw, padding up to the water. She sat just where the water kissed her white paws, and she let out a deep sigh.

Then she began to sing, her voice full and deep, her eyes on the horizon.
"Just when you think, hope is lost; And giving up...is all you've got; Blue turns black; Your confidence is cracked; Seems no going back...from here..."

She turned her gaze back to Crowpaw, those clear green eyes reflecting the stars, the water, him. "Sometimes there isn't an obvious explanation; Why the holiest hearts can feel the strongest palpitations..."

She let her voice trail off, her eyes glowing with emotion. In this moment, his losses were hers. His pain was hers. She let herself feel them, imagining herself in his paws. She wouldn't have been strong enough to stay. RiverClan was in such a state...but his life was one tragedy after another. Sweetsong gazed at Crowpaw, and finally worked up the courage, lifting her paw and placing it over his heart.
"You have experienced more pain that most will ever endure in a lifetime...and you deserved none of it. You are innocent...whatever your mistakes, whatever you may feel you could have done...you need to let go...you need to know that you tried, and sometimes, that is all that truly matters to those we love." Sweetsong whispered. "Those with us in life, and those waiting for us in death..."

"Life is like the river. It flows on and on..., changing its course one pebble, one stream, one current at a time...and one day it will lead out to the sea." She rested her paw once more and looked back over the water. "We will never know when we will reach the sea...but the journey is what makes life worth it." Sweetsong smiled up at Crowpaw then, but her gaze quickly found itself back over the water again, admiring the simple beauty.

@SpiritedWarrior

[SpiritedWarrior]

Crowpaw

Purrks: Heightened Perception and Agatha Kitty
@Tiabirb

It felt so odd to be sharing tears with another. This was the first time he had ever felt such a way. It was... refreshing. For the first time in his life, Crowpaw felt... warm. His heart had hardened in such a way he had hated everyone, and this warrior, this stranger was thawing it. After all the moons of unhappiness, of misery, Crowpaw finally cracked a smile. It was a small one, but a smile nonetheless.

The dark tunnel was turning light, and with it, some warm sand beneath his toe beans. The sounds of lapping waves reached his ears, and for a moment he thought about the rushing river. But this body of water wasn't surrounded by darkness. It was surrounded by light. Moments later, the RiverClanner's fur spiked and he could smell the fear, but none of that stayed for very long. Now out of the tunnel, Crowpaw's eyes blinked a few times.

Before them lay an endless lake with waves that reached out to grab hold of the wet sand beneath to pull it back in. It was... relaxing. Crowpaw wanted to go in, but he didn't know if that was a good idea or not. What if, once he went in, he would wake up? He didn't want to wake up. Not yet. There was still so much he could do. He could get to know Sweetsong, and see what it was like to finally have someone who's compassionate in his life.

The RiverClan she-cat, much like him, was at awe of the sight. She was the first to walk toward the endless lake, with Crowpaw following closely behind after being beckoned. He didn't let his paws touch the water like Sweetsong did, but he sat close to it. Sitting about a tail-length away from the golden tabby, he felt his shoulders droop and the stress of life leave his body. It would return eventually, but not for a bit. At least not until he woke up and had to deal with the frozen-hearted Clan he called home.

He didn't know the proper word he could use to describe himself at the moment. The waves lapping over each other was a little noisy, but it drowned out all his thoughts of the chaos going on. And then... Sweetsong started... doing something with her words. He had never heard a cat speak in such a way, but it was beautiful. There wasn't a word he could speak that could describe how in awe he felt. Every word she spoke described how he felt for what felt like his whole life.

He couldn't help but shed a couple of tears when Sweetsong's attention was turned to him, and shed a few more when he heard the next few words the RiverClanner spoke. She was right. He couldn't explain why he felt such a way. It always felt like he was a lot more dramatic and emotional than his Clanmates. In some respects, that was true, but his feelings for all the losses he had experienced had never really been validated by anyone before.

"You have experienced more pain that most will ever endure in a lifetime...and you deserved none of it." It seemed, when he was younger, losing so many and experiencing that much pain was normal. In truth, it wasn't. It was far from normal, in fact. He never asked for anything like that to ever happen. He wouldn't wish it on a single soul. Losing so much only hardens you. It makes you numb and it makes it even harder to live.

Sweetsong saw his pain, and he knew just by the way she looked at him and the words she spoke. She believes he was innocent, but she didn't know the full story. She said it was okay to let go, but... how could he? She didn't know what Quietpaw was like. She didn't know what Fallowkit or Lavenderpaw was like. Nor did she even know about Bluekit and the hardships that newborn went through within the first moon.

"I didn't just lose my family, y'know. I lost a sense of who I am. W-who I was born to be. The only time I ever loved my parents was when I had no idea what they were like. At the time, I didn't know enough about them. Do you want to know the whole story, Sweetsong? Why I despise my own birth Clan? Why I- why I had that nightmare in the first place?" He felt ready to share his story once more. Although he'd typically be burnt out with having to share the story so many times, Sweetsong and Crowpaw barely knew each other. Sweetsong, even though she hasn't even known the young tom for a whole night, was kind enough and merciful enough that it made him want to share. He didn't feel forced to share his story with her, but he did with his Clan because he tried to change the minds of those he grew up around.