i am his rage (inherit the engine and leak) || solo

[Neptune.]

Larkwing
~<>~
27 moons || she/her || RC Warrior || Kitty Softpaws, Mind Reader, Killer Aptitude T2
scarred, scrawny dilute tortoiseshell; green eyes

It was not a comfortable thing, having her tail and leg splinted as they were, and it did not allow for easy sleep, either. So, for a long while, the former RiverClan leader sat awake, too much in pain to do any more than... just exist in the medicine den. She had plenty to think about, of course, what with the revelation that she's pregnant and all that...

It's scary. She doesn't know how to be a mother, she barely knows how to be a functional warrior, and her track record with mates is... less than stellar. She still remembers Finchfluff, the first tom she had given her all to. He... hadn't seen her the same way, despite what he told her and how he acted. It's odd to mourn that, to mourn one who hurt her for so long, since they were apprentices together. He's long since vanished from RiverClan, though, and she hates to admit such a thing, but it's a large weight off her shoulders. And then there had been Leo... he'd made her feel like a normal cat again. They could've had something, but that chance had gone.

And now, it was Fishfreckle.

Warmth spreads through her at just the thought of him, and emerald eyes drift from the entrance of the medicine den and down to her stomach. It's with something like fear, and something like joy that she watches herself, knowing what secret she's harboring. But what would his reaction even be? It's easy to picture anger, less easy to picture joy. Would he want this? With her? Does she even want this?

It's not the way she pictured it happening, if it happened at all. Her childhood image of a mother was one who loved conditionally and rarely. One who spared few and far between glances and one who spoke with harsh words. Was parenting genetic? Would Lilyfrost's cruelty pass down to Larkwing? She hopes not.

Pain makes it impossible to curl in on herself, splinted leg and tail providing something of an obstacle to her movement, however small they might be, and it's somewhat distressing that she can't even curl tight enough to shield her stomach and the life growing inside it from danger. It isn't quick, and it isn't comfortable, but sleep does come for her, eventually, and, when Larkwing blinks open her eyes, she's in a forest tinted red.

Kithood storries and one experience at the moonstone immediately leave her speculating, but when she turns her head and is met with a cat almost the spitting image of herself, Larkwing knows for sure; this is the Dark Forest.

"M-mother!" She all but shouts, and all Lilyfrost does in response is tilt her head. "Mother, what- what am I doing here? What are you doing here?" She can't help but ask. The last time her mother visited her in a dream - moons ago - she'd seemed to come from StarClan not- not here. What had happened?

[ lilyfrost - @/Neptune. ]

[Neptune.]

Lilyfrost
she/her || dark forest || nightmare fuel t1
dilute tortoiseshell; amber eyes

Oh... oh, her poor, sweet daughter. How Lilyfrost longed to be flesh and bone once more just so she could feel her embrace, just so she could lick her forehead and tell her everything will be alright. Of course, she could do so here, but it was simply not the same. And the little detail of her location? A mere mistake of StarClan's! They'd trapped her here, unjustly, and refused to give her the afterlife she deserved the afterlife she was owed after giving her everything to RiverClan.

"My darling," she coos, bounding forward to nuzzle translucent cheek against her daughter's, as ever the picture of a doting mother, relived to see her child again after moons (she could've reached out at any time, she does have that power, but, oh is it satisfying to make her spawn wait). "I should have said so before... StarClan will not have me. The cast me aside like crowfood and won't listen to my pleas! How unfair it is of them! How cruel!" She's putting on a show, she knows it, and she knows her dear little Lark knows it too.

Lilyfrost watches as the child squirms, obviously conflicted on if she should accept this love, but Lilyfrost knows, too, that she can take it away just as quickly and easily, and Lark knows so, too. And so, predictably, her daughter gives in.

"Mother... I'm so sorry..." she says, and it's clear in her voice that she means it and oh, how Lilyfrost loathes that. And then she breathes in, and while dreams don't often carry scent, sometimes a mother - and a queen more than once in her life - just knows these things. Amber eyes narrow to slits, and she eyes her daughter with disgusted scrutiny.

"You're pregnant." She states, like it's bile in her mouth. Like there's nothing worse in a word of horrible people and evil deeds. "And who, exactly, is the father of my... grandkits?" She asks. Like the kits belong to her, and not to their mother, like she hasn't been made a grandmother before through her failure of a son, Falconfeather.

[ lark - @/Neptune. ]

[Neptune.]

Larkwing
~<>~
27 moons || she/her || RC Warrior || Kitty Softpaws, Mind Reader, Killer Aptitude T2
scarred, scrawny dilute tortoiseshell; green eyes

She's uncomfortable. Her fur prickles with unease as her mother showers her with affection she knows isn't real. But she can't help accepting it anyway. It's not good for her, but how could she not accept it? This is her mother. And so she leans into the nuzzle offered, unable to stop the purr rising from her throat, one of longing and of sorrow and of grief.

And then come the accusation that StarClan does not want her. She knows her mother is being dramatic, she can see through the lie immediately, she knows her mother was sent here and accepts her place... but she chooses to ignore it, to believe the lie, because it paints Lilyfrost in a better light. It makes it easier to convince herself that her mother truly is a good person.

"Mother... I'm so sorry..." she says, and it's true. She's sorry her mother ended up here. She's sorry she didn't try harder to change her mother's fate in life. And... Lilyfrost knows. She knows about Lark's kits. And... she doesn't sound pleased about it. She sounds... upset? Disappointed? ...angry? Larkwing can't tell. But she knows that no matter what she says, it won't please her mother.

"They're Fishfreckle's," she answers, and she's ashamed at how meek she sounds. She isn't ashamed of their father - she loves him (and, oh, doesn't admitting that to herself, even just silently, not saying so aloud, feel good, and terrifying in equal measure?). Why should her mother take that away from her? "They're Fishfreckles." She repeats, more firm, for once anticipating her mother's distaste and standing up to it. "And- and I'm excited for them. I am." She's still trying to convince herself that's true and that she isn't terrified.

[ lilyfrost - @/Neptune. ]

[Neptune.]

Lilyfrost
she/her || dark forest || nightmare fuel t1
dilute tortoiseshell; amber eyes

Unpleasant emotions swirl in the tortoiseshell's gut as she narrows her eyes at the daughter who looks so much like her. She's always known her spawn would grow up to be a disappointment, but her choice in mate is even worse. A rotten fish for a rotten bird, though, the dead warrior supposes. Perfect for each other in every aspect.

Still, she grits her teeth and smiles (if it happens to look more like fangs barred in a sneer, well, that's hardly Lilyfrost's fault, now is it?), taking a moment to gather her thoughts.

"Little songbird," she starts through her gritted teeth, "isn't that just charming? I'd always hoped you would continue this family line and give me some fine warriors," she doesn't mention the spawn of her other children. They are all failures. "Maybe I'll pay them all a visit once they're old enough for-"

"No." Her daughter interrupts, and Lilyfrost is caught for a moment between fury and disbelief.

"No?" She snarls, settling on fury. This had better be good.