Take A Break [p]

[SuspiciousMindz]

[Hawkbite]
Enforcer Commander
Shadow Fiend | Agatha Kitty | Kitty Softpaws

This is silly.
She's going to hate it.

A few pawsteps closer.

I should just go take a nap.
Forget I had this idea.

She was standing less than a couple tail-lengths away. There was no turning back. If she hadn't noticed him already, then it was simply his ambition driving him forward.

He'd never been so nervous in his life. Even with his nerves on end, he didn't stutter or sway as he addressed the deputy. As he addressed one of his closest friends. She'd taken up the place Woollyfeather once held, although only physically. Mistlewhisker was his go-to for adventures and missions. There still lacked a day the former warrior didn't pop up in his head at least once. He still craved having Woollyfeather back.

Something drew him to Mistlewhisker with similar emotion. He wasn't sure what it was or why it was there, but he found himself chasing it lately. Hawkbite only hoped the deputy didn't notice it because he didn't want to notice it. Denial is a fun game, isn't it?

"Mistlewhisker, I wanted to invite you out," Wait, that was vague. Oh boy, here he goes overthinking the situation again and letting the heat build up in his ears until they burned. "Like- like to go on a quick patrol. I wanted to show you something," Hawkbite spoke, trying to save himself from the awkwardness he felt. Ugh, why am I so cringey sometimes! He wasn't cut out for this friendship thing, it was settled. Small talk and friendship meant he looked stupid. Even if he purposefully looked stupid sometimes, he didn't feel like this!

@Mica - Mistlewhisker

[Mica]

Mistlewhisker
ShadowClan Deputy
she/her | 43 moons
[Large black cat with a half white muzzle and a pale green eye]
Purrks: Killer Aptitude T3, Shadow Fiend, Mind Reader
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽ The Chariot ☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
· · ────────────── · ·
[Hawkbite - @SuspiciousMindz ]
· · ────────────── · ·
Mistlewhisker liked to consider herself a cool-headed, well-controlled she-cat with skills both diplomatic and battle-focused in nature. She was smart, talented, and an overall well-rounded individual. The idea of needing another cat to rely on beyond what was expected of a fellow warrior had only occurred to her when she wondered why anyone would need it. She knew her worth and others did too. She didn't need someone to make her whole.

But in the span of a moon Mistlewhisker had not only been swept up by Dawnstar as her newest mate, but had also experienced what most would call a romantic moment with Hawkbite. Mistlewhisker, in all honesty, felt like she was going insane.

The Deputy had purposefully locked both moments behind a wall of "no way in hell am I touching that right now" and gone about her life as though it hadn't been shaken to its very core.

When Hawkbite approached her, a younger version of Mistlewhisker would have slipped away into the shadows of camp and fled, unprepared to face the... whatever it was flickering to life between them. But Dawnstar's trusted executioner did not flinch away, and instead faced Hawkbite head on as he stumbled through a request for her to join him for a quick patrol. Based on his body language it was not something dire or something that would negatively impact the clan.

Well, it couldn't hurt, could it? Mistlewhisker nodded, falling into step beside her friend. "I wish you to know that if this is an excuse to lure me away from camp so Gutspaw can put some unknown horror in my nest, retribution will be swift and merciless." She knew her apprentice was likely to retaliate against her for making that comment about bite needing more hunting training. Maybe she was paranoid.

But a paranoid cat is a fool every moment except one.

[SuspiciousMindz]

[Hawkbite]
Enforcer Commander
Shadow Fiend | Agatha Kitty | Kitty Softpaws T2

His whisker would twitch with amusement when Mistlewhisker spoke. He was curious as to what the deputy was referring to but wouldn't push much into that. Instead, he started to lead her out towards the territory, silence falling over them. Hawkbite didn't want his nerves to get the better of him and he spill whatever it was they were doing. However, he was sure the she-cat would hear his heart thumping in his chest as they got further and further into the territory.

...

The Commander had led her to the newest part of the territory: Dawning Woods. This area was rather pretty to him, and it was still peaceful from a lot of the warriors. As he pushed past the last portion of bushes, Hawkbite would pause the deputy in her tracks. "S- so, it's just past this branch," he spoke, taking a gulp and taking a glance at her gaze. Then, he'd reach out and step on the branch, lowering the leaves so Mistlewhisker could see what he was hiding. His gaze didn't waver from Mistlewhisker as she took in the initial scene.

In front of them lay a patch of lush grass that Hawkbite had patted down a little. In the middle of that lay a small pile of flowers where two pieces of prey sat. This was his attempt of keeping the flies away from them, but up off the ground away from any crawling creatures. The prey seemed to have been newly caught too, like he'd recently went out and got them -- he did. He didn't want to take from the kill pile in camp, it would've been suspicious. "I set this up earlier this morning... I figured we could share some prey and relax away from the clan," Hawkbite spoke softly.

There was something glimmering in his gaze as he studied Mistlewhisker. He was worried about rejection, but he wasn't at the same time. He felt like he knew the deputy fairly well at this point, surely she wouldn't deny him this. So... it must've been hope glimmering there, but something else stirred deep in his chest. This was the moment of truth, huh.

@Mica - Mistlewhisker

[Mica]

Mistlewhisker
ShadowClan Deputy
she/her | 43 moons
[Large black cat with a half white muzzle and a pale green eye]
Purrks: Killer Aptitude T3, Shadow Fiend, Mind Reader
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽ The Chariot ☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
· · ────────────── · ·
[Hawkbite - @SuspiciousMindz ]
· · ────────────── · ·
The walk was peaceful. Mistlewhisker recognized the path they took towards the Dawning Woods. It was a nice walk, and the Dawning Woods was a particularly lovely part of the territory. Mistlewhisker preferred the Evergreen Grotto, personally, but she was just a fan of very tall trees and the deep greens of lush moss. But regardless, a nice area indeed.

The Deputy followed alongside her friend, the silence companionable if not a little tense as both of them were a little hesitant around the other. One because he was about to open his heart, and the other because she was struggling to keep hers closed.

As the pair slowed and Hawkbite paused at a branch, Mistlewhisker raised a brow in expectation. She only slid her one-eyed gaze from his when bright colors caught her eye.

Mistlewhisker was still for several heartbeats, studying the scene in front of her like if she stared hard enough at it, it would suddenly turn into something that made sense. A body, perhaps. A predator den. Something that could be solved or handled in a way that didn't involve her languishing in her own confusing emotions.

But instead what she was faced with was... a picnic. With flowers lining the patted down grass and prey sitting readily on top. Mistlewhisker wordlessly started forward, inspecting the clearing as though expecting traps. No one had ever done anything like this for her. Was this something cats did? The Deputy turned in a slow circle before coming to face Hawkbite again, canting her head slightly and studying him. "You did this?" She hummed, though it wasn't a question even with the lilt at the end of her voice.

That was when she really noticed the prey. One of them was a frog. Her favorite. Mistlewhisker paused again, something thudding in her chest. It was similar to adrenaline, but without the chill that whisked down her spine and the urge to bolt. Had Hawkbite really gone through all the trouble to catch her her favorite prey and set this up? For her?

It made sense, in a sick sort of way. You provided for those you cared for. Maybe without all the flourishes, but even Mistlewhisker could admit that the flowers and the serene setting were nice. A soft smile twitched on her muzzle, and she moved to settle in front of the frog. "All of this just to eat?" Her eye twinkled with amusement, but then it was quickly shadowed. "If this is supposed to be an apology for the other night, I don't want it. You have nothing to apologize for." If Hawkbite thought he needed to get back on her good side after the show of anger and weakness that night... the thought twisted Mistlewhisker's stomach into knots. She wasn't sure if she was glad she made cats think they needed to tread lightly around her, or sickened by it. She wasn't cruel, wasn't volatile. She just... was. Mistlewhisker had molded herself into a stone pillar upon which the clan rested, hiding nothing and expecting others to see that. She wasn't mad at Hawkbite. She understood him.

Did she understand this, too? Or was she reading cues that weren't there?

[SuspiciousMindz]

[Hawkbite]
Enforcer Commander
Shadow Fiend | Agatha Kitty | Kitty Softpaws T2

The Commander followed after Mistlewhisker, taking up a spot on the other side of the prey. She took the frog, so he took the mouse. If he had a preference in food, rodents would always be on top of that list. As he settled into the padded down grass, he'd note that he did a decent job giving them a good cushion for them to sit on.

"It- It's not about the other night, no. While I might still be embarrassed by that-" Hawkbite's ears pinned back, and he averted his gaze to the rodent near his paws now. "-I've moved on. This was... this is," Hawkbite paused, his gaze turned to look upwards at Mistlewhisker again. He searched her gaze, searched her expression, reached for anything that the she-cat would give him to read.

"This is just for you."

Oh, stars. I did it. I really did. I said it... AHH! Hawkbite dug his claws into the ground, trying to steady the way his head seemed to spin as he addressed the deputy. Please understand. PLEASE. PLEASE. Please understand... Hawkbite didn't know how to voice what he was feeling. He didn't know how to express the way his chest thumped around her, the way she made his brain fog over. His tail swished across the ground behind him, anxiety making him subconsciously react.

He was the stoic, hot-headed Commander. Talking to the deputy shouldn't cause him to act this way! He was better than this! He was better than the emotions he was barely able to hold down. Or was he? Mistlewhisker came barreling his wall down. Something brought him her direction every chance he got... and he always took it. Mistlewhisker please...

@Mica

[Mica]

Mistlewhisker
ShadowClan Deputy
she/her | 43 moons
[Large black cat with a half white muzzle and a pale green eye]
Purrks: Killer Aptitude T3, Shadow Fiend, Mind Reader
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽ The Chariot ☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
· · ────────────── · ·
[Hawkbite - @SuspiciousMindz ]
· · ────────────── · ·
Well, at least they were both still embarassed from that show of weakness. Mistlewhisker kept her stare steady at Hawkbite even as he looked away, reading his body language. She didn't flinch when his mossy gaze latched onto hers, meeting his intensity with the stability of a boulder. The confession was almost lost on her, just another addition onto his explanation. But then it settled into her fur and dug under her skin. Oh. How interesting.

"... Thank you." She murmured, dropping her gaze to the frog before her. "It is... nice, to be appreciated." Praise and accolades were wonderful, and Mistlewhisker would have lived a happy life just on those and on the knowledge that she was doing good by her clan. But small gifts like this, like the rock Gutspaw had given her, like Goopywhisker's suffix, like Squirrelrise calling her mom. Those were cracks in her facade that covered a disgustingly soft heart. Not many cats could get through that facade. But Hawkbite...

Was he...? Mistlewhisker brought her gaze up to study Hawkbite again. His intention was unclear to her, and that frustrated her. With Dawnstar, things were simple. Mistlewhisker followed instruction, defended her leader, helped fulfill needs required of her. And in return, Dawnstar granted her with affection and praise. Mistlewhisker liked this exchange because it was simple and easily compartmentalized. With Hawkbite... things got difficult. Hawkbite was more emotional than Dawnstar. His love language appeared to be closer to what one would typically expect in a relationship. Mistlewhisker had never wanted nor needed a relationship like that, but in the rare moments she let herself fantasize... the only cat she could imagine herself in an emotional relationship with was Hawkbite. Stars damn it all to hell. Was this really happening? Perhaps. But even if it was, she wasn't going to do most of the leg work for him. He had to get it out himself.

"If you are asking something in particular, Hawkbite..." Mistlewhisker raised a brow. "You are going to have to say it directly."

[SuspiciousMindz]

[Hawkbite]
Enforcer Commander
Shadow Fiend | Agatha Kitty | Kitty Softpaws T2

"If you're asking something in particular..."

Was he? Surely...

Hawkbite froze, even holding his breath for a moment. His gaze grew deeper, finding way to a place in his heart that he didn't think could be filled by anyone else. He had to accept it, though. Woollyfeather wasn't going to come back. She was gone. He couldn't chase those feelings for her anymore. However, Mistlewhisker was here. Mistlewhisker had been a stable in his life of chaos and loss. She grew and changed with him, accepting responsibilities no one else had the decency to uphold and fulfill. He had to admit he'd grown smitten to the she-cat -- to his friend.

"...You're going to have to say it directly."

Hawkbite's mouth clamped tightly, his lips pressed into a thin line as he exhaled deeply. "Fine." Hawkbite finally broke the rigidness in his body, inhaling softly after the excessive breath-holding. "Mistlewhisker," Hawkbite spoke her name, a different tone than he'd ever expressed before. It held a depth to his feelings he wasn't sure he was ready to face. "My level-headed, gorgeous, admirable, best friend," Hawkbite spoke, his attempt at flattering her was internally making him cringe, but he moved on quickly.

"After all these moons of running from feelings and running out of time to tell others how I feel or how much I appreciate them-" Silverlark, Woollyfeather, Starrywisp, Vixensnarl... "-I'm not going to run from how I feel from you right now. I fear I'll never say it if I don't now," Hawkbite shuffled a little to face the deputy head-on. There was a new determined light to his eyes, more confidence in his posture, similar to how he held himself around the clan as he addressed her. "You caught my attention before you were an Enforcer and I'd only been watching you and defending you since. You're incredible and I can't let you slip through my paws like I had others, I refuse to, so," Hawkbite paused, feeling his shoulders tense.

"Mistlewhisker, this is me admitting to the feelings I have for you that surpass those of a friendship. I need you. I'm smitten to you and I've been smitten for a while... and even if you don't feel this way, I need it to be out there for you to know."

@Mica

[Mica]

Mistlewhisker
ShadowClan Deputy
she/her | 43 moons
[Large black cat with a half white muzzle and a pale green eye]
Purrks: Killer Aptitude T3, Shadow Fiend, Mind Reader
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽ The Chariot ☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
· · ────────────── · ·
[Hawkbite - @SuspiciousMindz ]
· · ────────────── · ·
The emotion behind that one word, her name... it knocked the wind from Mistlewhisker's lungs. The reality of the situation had not fully settled on her fur before that, but suddenly it was clear as day.

As Hawkbite continued, Mistlewhisker was struck with each description he gave of her.

Level-headed. Yes, it was one of her best qualities in her opinion. She never made a rash decision if she could help it.

Gorgeous. Okay, now that was getting gratuitous. There was no way she was that attractive. She had always considered herself pretty average, which was fine with her. A well-muscled body, long legs, long plush tail, a narrow face and large ears--all things she hadn't really considered to be beautiful; instead choosing to focus on the functionality of her body. Strong, fast, designed to kill. But she could not deny the heat that rose to her face when he called her that. Did... did she like being called gorgeous?

Admirable. If doing her job and keeping the clan running was admirable, then sure. It was hardly more than what Hawkbite was doing by running the Enforcers, so if he should be calling anyone admirable, it should be himself. ... Uh oh.

Hawkbite continued, words that held little meaning to the Deputy spilling past his lips and landing in the space between them like the offered prey still untouched at her paws. She studied the words, his gaze, his tone, trying to decipher what he meant even though the meaning was so clear to anyone else. He wasn't going to let her slip through his paws, was he? Mistlewhisker pursed her lips as he finished, the final confession hanging in the air between them like a mouse dangled by the tail, frozen in fear.

In the end, the words were easier to come by than she had thought. "You say that like you plan to lose me." Mistlewhisker canted her head, giving her friend a long look. "But I'm not going anywhere, Hawkbite. Feelings like this are... new, to me. I never wanted a mate, and now I..." Was she about to have two? "I am unsure as to what I want. But I do know that... this draw to you, it must be similar to romance. You are strong, dependable," she hesitated, the words damming up in her chest, "I admire your dedication to the clan and see it reflected in our relationship." Mistlewhisker offered a pained smile. "I am floundering here, admittedly."

[SuspiciousMindz]

[Hawkbite]
Enforcer Commander
Shadow Fiend | Agatha Kitty | Kitty Softpaws T2

Why were they so socially awkward? Why were the two most emotionally cut-off felines struggling so hard to understand the very thing they shut off? It'd been written in the stars for them, huh? To find each other, to struggle together, to continue running away from feelings they were too scared or too prideful to admit. Destiny, truly.

Hawkbite stammered a little, shifting on his paws as he listened to Mistlewhiskers words. His tail wrapped tighter around his paws, claws sinking as far as they could to keep him from running. In a normal crisis-- I mean, in a normal situation, Hawkbite wouldn't go running. Why was this any different? He'd known Mistlewhisker for how many seasons now? They basically grew up together, even if they didn't interact much in their younger moons.

"I'm not expecting a speech from you, just an answer," Hawkbite stopped the deputy from continuing, hoping to ease the discomfort she must be feeling. The discomfort he was assuming she was feeling. This was a very sudden thing in his opinion, but he was also blind to the romance that must've been brewing between the pair over the last few moons. It must've been there for the way his heart strings were pulled every damn time he interacted with her.

"Will you give us a chance?"

@Mica - Mistlewhisker

[Mica]

Mistlewhisker
ShadowClan Deputy
she/her | 43 moons
[Large black cat with a half white muzzle and a pale green eye]
Purrks: Killer Aptitude T3, Shadow Fiend, Mind Reader
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽ The Chariot ☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
· · ────────────── · ·
[Hawkbite - @SuspiciousMindz ]
· · ────────────── · ·
"Will you give us a chance?"

Would she? Would Mistlewhisker lean into the emotional side of her and listen to her heart? Or would she shove it to the side like she had always done, focus on the clan, her position, serving the shadows and reaching for the stars? Would she push past her doubts, her fears, and take the paw of the tom in front of her?

Her decision had been made the moment she saw the picnic set up for her.

"Yes. I will." Mistlewhisker meowed with finality, a knowing smile on her face. "I accept your proposal, Hawkbite." It felt so easy to say, even though her mind was reeling, her past self shocked that she would even consider such a thing. But this Mistlewhisker, standing before Hawkbite... perhaps she was ready to enter a new era. An era where she listened to her whole self rather than just her head. Maybe she wouldn't lose so many cats this way. Or maybe, she would lose more. Only time would tell.