Daywhisper • She / Her • Windclan warrior • 35+ moons { Active Purrks }
♥ Dreamwalker
Daywhisper ran into camp, visibly upset. She had been out hunting when she thought she'd caught a glimpse of Crow. She wasn't even sure if it was him, but the second she'd seen who or whatever it was, she'd taken off, hoping it didn't see her.
She just wanted to sleep, everywhere she went she saw his face and felt nothing but guilt now. She hadn't seen him in moons, nor even tried to make contact since he'd offered to join. It's not that she didn't want him to join, but Twilightstar had ordered all outsiders be chased off or killed on site.
The large white and cream warrior began to plead with and beg Starclan to let her find some way to see him please, please, please, PLEASE just let me see him one more time... She thought, drifting off to sleep slowly.
Her eyes fluttered open, she didn't recognize the area. Where... where am I? Where is this? She padded along an almost dreamlike landscape. Things looked normal but felt off. Where was she even? Wait! This... This is where I first met Crow... how did I... get here?
She furrowed her brows as she continued along the path, a familiar scent hitting her like a two-leg monster. She froze in her tracks, was that... Crow's scent? had he died? Was she dead?
She felt her heart rate rise as anxiety clawed at her chest. What's going on? Daywhisper took a deep breath, deciding that she mustn't be dead, she was perfectly healthy, so with that logic, if anyone was dead, it had to be him. She would need to process that when she woke up, but for now, she had a plan... sort of.
"Crow?" She called out after a long pause and a deep breath. She waited for some kind of response.
Re: [p] overcomplicating seems to get the best of me
Quote:
Originally Posted by seeingstars
Daywhisper • She / Her • Windclan warrior • 35+ moons { Active Purrks }
♥ Dreamwalker
Daywhisper ran into camp, visibly upset. She had been out hunting when she thought she'd caught a glimpse of Crow. She wasn't even sure if it was him, but the second she'd seen who or whatever it was, she'd taken off, hoping it didn't see her.
She just wanted to sleep, everywhere she went she saw his face and felt nothing but guilt now. She hadn't seen him in moons, nor even tried to make contact since he'd offered to join. It's not that she didn't want him to join, but Twilightstar had ordered all outsiders be chased off or killed on site.
The large white and cream warrior began to plead with and beg Starclan to let her find some way to see him please, please, please, PLEASE just let me see him one more time... She thought, drifting off to sleep slowly.
Her eyes fluttered open, she didn't recognize the area. Where... where am I? Where is this? She padded along an almost dreamlike landscape. Things looked normal but felt off. Where was she even? Wait! This... This is where I first met Crow... how did I... get here?
She furrowed her brows as she continued along the path, a familiar scent hitting her like a two-leg monster. She froze in her tracks, was that... Crow's scent? had he died? Was she dead?
She felt her heart rate rise as anxiety clawed at her chest. What's going on? Daywhisper took a deep breath, deciding that she mustn't be dead, she was perfectly healthy, so with that logic, if anyone was dead, it had to be him. She would need to process that when she woke up, but for now, she had a plan... sort of.
"Crow?" She called out after a long pause and a deep breath. She waited for some kind of response.
Crow sighed. He finally arrived back to nest after a long day of sadness and hunting. After finding out about his brother and his mates feeble affair, he'd cut off all ties with him. Determin to show the affair didn't effect him. But after the back furred Tom had been told. Daywhisper seemed to ignore him. Crow sat in his nest. Ignoring the heavy feeling of sadness as well as the worry for his mate and kits. How were they all doing? He could tell there was a fire by the smell, had they gotten hurt? Where were they now? Crow hadn't heard back from Daywhisper about how to join the clan, so it left him no hope but to wait. Curling ino his nest with a somber, worried, and slightly resentful look. Crow closed his eyes and let sleep succumb him.
Crow woke. Well he thought he did until he was back in the same old dream. Lately he'd been dreaming on the place he and Daywhisper had first met, the scents lingering like blood threatening to drown him. Crow sighed. Sitting down in the soft grass as he fiddled his paws, staring ahead as he imagined the younger version of him, his brother, and Daywhisper. All playing around, no care in the world. No danger ahead, no affairs, no kits to fret about. No ghosting. Nothing bad.
Suddenly. Crow heard his name being called, he couldn't pinpoint the location but he knew the voice all to well. Standing up the Tom meowed back. "Day??" Crows back tail stood up as his ears perked. Crow knew, in that moment he should've been giddy, seeing and hearing his mate again. But as he padded along and finally saw her, Crow felt an odd feeling of resent. He dint want to see her, he was miserable because of her... though he loved her and still didn't want her to be hurt by his own personal feelings. Crow had acted normal, he'd acted fine when she revealed her half-affair with his brother. But secretly Crow wanted to growl in that moment. Crow had killed a rabbit brutally only moments after she left. He'd went to hi brother, snarling an furious as his brother stared in shock at Crows furious state. After then Crow hadn't spoke to his brother. And quite frankly he didn't want to.
As Daywhisper became clearer. Crow stood like a tree. He didn't know whether he wanted to rub from his mate. Or run from his feelings. But either way, he didn't want to stay. Crow stayed standing despite his wanting to leave. The back furred Tom gulped lightly as he looked at her. Trying to hold back his emotions. All the built up despair, sadness, betrayl. Anger. All of it just killed him inside. But right now was not the time to lt it go and Crow realized that. The Tom sighed as he looked at her.
__________________
Oceanstar is the leader of Beachclan!
"You did a great job today and I hope you smile a little by thinking about me at the end of the day" -Kim Hongjoong
Re: [p] overcomplicating seems to get the best of me
Quote:
Originally Posted by MangoBearGoGrr
Crow sighed. He finally arrived back to nest after a long day of sadness and hunting. After finding out about his brother and his mates feeble affair, he'd cut off all ties with him. Determin to show the affair didn't effect him. But after the back furred Tom had been told. Daywhisper seemed to ignore him. Crow sat in his nest. Ignoring the heavy feeling of sadness as well as the worry for his mate and kits. How were they all doing? He could tell there was a fire by the smell, had they gotten hurt? Where were they now? Crow hadn't heard back from Daywhisper about how to join the clan, so it left him no hope but to wait. Curling ino his nest with a somber, worried, and slightly resentful look. Crow closed his eyes and let sleep succumb him.
Crow woke. Well he thought he did until he was back in the same old dream. Lately he'd been dreaming on the place he and Daywhisper had first met, the scents lingering like blood threatening to drown him. Crow sighed. Sitting down in the soft grass as he fiddled his paws, staring ahead as he imagined the younger version of him, his brother, and Daywhisper. All playing around, no care in the world. No danger ahead, no affairs, no kits to fret about. No ghosting. Nothing bad.
Suddenly. Crow heard his name being called, he couldn't pinpoint the location but he knew the voice all to well. Standing up the Tom meowed back. "Day??" Crows back tail stood up as his ears perked. Crow knew, in that moment he should've been giddy, seeing and hearing his mate again. But as he padded along and finally saw her, Crow felt an odd feeling of resent. He dint want to see her, he was miserable because of her... though he loved her and still didn't want her to be hurt by his own personal feelings. Crow had acted normal, he'd acted fine when she revealed her half-affair with his brother. But secretly Crow wanted to growl in that moment. Crow had killed a rabbit brutally only moments after she left. He'd went to hi brother, snarling an furious as his brother stared in shock at Crows furious state. After then Crow hadn't spoke to his brother. And quite frankly he didn't want to.
As Daywhisper became clearer. Crow stood like a tree. He didn't know whether he wanted to rub from his mate. Or run from his feelings. But either way, he didn't want to stay. Crow stayed standing despite his wanting to leave. The back furred Tom gulped lightly as he looked at her. Trying to hold back his emotions. All the built up despair, sadness, betrayl. Anger. All of it just killed him inside. But right now was not the time to lt it go and Crow realized that. The Tom sighed as he looked at her.
Daywhisper • She / Her • Windclan warrior • 35+ moons { Active Purrks }
♦ Dreamwalker
Daywhisper heard approaching paw steps, then heard her name. She noted his tone and the hesitance as he neared her. Her chest ached, she wanted to rush forward, press against him, tell him how much she missed him... but there was something off in the air. She couldn't be sure but had her suspicions as to what was causing the tension that hung thick in the air around them.
They stood there in still silence for a while. Day desperately searched for something to say, but nothing felt right. Things had changed, and understandably so. She wasn't there, she'd betrayed him and her loyalty still wasn't entirely proven. Her gaze failed to meet his, she couldn't bring herself to even try, fearing what she might see.
The large Windclan warrior slowly drew in a breath, now forcing her green orbs to rise and meet his. Any confidence she'd lied herself into having was once more shaken. The silence was deafening and the anxiety was making Daywhisper nauseous.
After more time she finally managed to speak "H-hey... uh-" She furrowed her brows, this was the worst time for words to fail her. She had to say SOMETHING, but what? It'd been moons, she couldn't explain that away. She could have and should have shown some initiative, but let her own selfishness win in the end.
"I'm... sorry..." She paused, once more trying to gather her scattered thoughts, she started over "I'm sorry that I haven't been around... I know there's no excuse for any of it, but I... I am sorry Crow" she murmured, her gaze again fell to the ground, her ears and tail drooped as she sighed softly.
"I've... also been scared to face you... I guess-" She said, frowning "I went to ask Twilightstar if you would be allowed to attempt to join- but right as I got home she called a meeting. During that meeting, a clanmate was exiled for bringing an outsider in before asking, and then Twilightstar ordered us to chase outsiders off or..." She trailed off, grimacing. She figured it was pretty obvious how that sentence ended so she decided to leave it.
"I was scared because I was ashamed, and Twilightstar's order only made it easier to excuse not visiting..." That was until now, but how exactly was this happening?
Her thoughts quickly returned to how they were both here talking. She wasn't entirely sure how to ask this question, but decided being straightforward was the best way to go "Are... you dead?" She asked, brows furrowing once more. She knew she sounded crazy, but whatever, she had to know.
Re: [p] overcomplicating seems to get the best of me
Quote:
Originally Posted by seeingstars
Daywhisper • She / Her • Windclan warrior • 35+ moons { Active Purrks }
♦ Dreamwalker
Daywhisper heard approaching paw steps, then heard her name. She noted his tone and the hesitance as he neared her. Her chest ached, she wanted to rush forward, press against him, tell him how much she missed him... but there was something off in the air. She couldn't be sure but had her suspicions as to what was causing the tension that hung thick in the air around them.
They stood there in still silence for a while. Day desperately searched for something to say, but nothing felt right. Things had changed, and understandably so. She wasn't there, she'd betrayed him and her loyalty still wasn't entirely proven. Her gaze failed to meet his, she couldn't bring herself to even try, fearing what she might see.
The large Windclan warrior slowly drew in a breath, now forcing her green orbs to rise and meet his. Any confidence she'd lied herself into having was once more shaken. The silence was deafening and the anxiety was making Daywhisper nauseous.
After more time she finally managed to speak "H-hey... uh-" She furrowed her brows, this was the worst time for words to fail her. She had to say SOMETHING, but what? It'd been moons, she couldn't explain that away. She could have and should have shown some initiative, but let her own selfishness win in the end.
"I'm... sorry..." She paused, once more trying to gather her scattered thoughts, she started over "I'm sorry that I haven't been around... I know there's no excuse for any of it, but I... I am sorry Crow" she murmured, her gaze again fell to the ground, her ears and tail drooped as she sighed softly.
"I've... also been scared to face you... I guess-" She said, frowning "I went to ask Twilightstar if you would be allowed to attempt to join- but right as I got home she called a meeting. During that meeting, a clanmate was exiled for bringing an outsider in before asking, and then Twilightstar ordered us to chase outsiders off or..." She trailed off, grimacing. She figured it was pretty obvious how that sentence ended so she decided to leave it.
"I was scared because I was ashamed, and Twilightstar's order only made it easier to excuse not visiting..." That was until now, but how exactly was this happening?
Her thoughts quickly returned to how they were both here talking. She wasn't entirely sure how to ask this question, but decided being straightforward was the best way to go "Are... you dead?" She asked, brows furrowing once more. She knew she sounded crazy, but whatever, she had to know.
Crow watched. Listening to her attempts for forgiveness, her attempt to explain. Crow took a few small steps forward. Sitting down and meowing. "I'm not dead." Crow couldn't respond. He internally winced at how dry yet helpless his tone was. Crow flicked his tail nervously, the Tom had always been shy. But never this quiet. "Ashamed of what?" Crow said gently, his gentle tone was strained, the words took so much for him to say without bawling. "Daywhisper. You...abandoned me." Crow mewed, "The fire. I saw it all. You didn't even think about me then? You didn't bother to...to look for me? To ask how I am? To tell me how are kits are?" Crow said. His tone filled with pain as he meowed out his feelings. Crow stopped himself by closing his eyes and taking a painfully shaky inhale. "Day.... you know me. You know I am rarely scared... but this was the first time in my life." He paused to hold back his tears, "I was terrified. Of losing you and our kits" Crow whispered. "And.. and you just come here... the most peaceful place I can be... And fill it with your apologize?" Crow whispered. He couldnt hold back his tears anymore. Small droplets fell down his fur as he looked down. "I don't.... I need you Daywhisper. When I needed you most... you left me." He finished. Sniffing gently.
__________________
Oceanstar is the leader of Beachclan!
"You did a great job today and I hope you smile a little by thinking about me at the end of the day" -Kim Hongjoong
Re: [p] overcomplicating seems to get the best of me
Quote:
Originally Posted by MangoBearGoGrr
Crow watched. Listening to her attempts for forgiveness, her attempt to explain. Crow took a few small steps forward. Sitting down and meowing. "I'm not dead." Crow couldn't respond. He internally winced at how dry yet helpless his tone was. Crow flicked his tail nervously, the Tom had always been shy. But never this quiet. "Ashamed of what?" Crow said gently, his gentle tone was strained, the words took so much for him to say without bawling. "Daywhisper. You...abandoned me." Crow mewed, "The fire. I saw it all. You didn't even think about me then? You didn't bother to...to look for me? To ask how I am? To tell me how are kits are?" Crow said. His tone filled with pain as he meowed out his feelings. Crow stopped himself by closing his eyes and taking a painfully shaky inhale. "Day.... you know me. You know I am rarely scared... but this was the first time in my life." He paused to hold back his tears, "I was terrified. Of losing you and our kits" Crow whispered. "And.. and you just come here... the most peaceful place I can be... And fill it with your apologize?" Crow whispered. He couldnt hold back his tears anymore. Small droplets fell down his fur as he looked down. "I don't.... I need you Daywhisper. When I needed you most... you left me." He finished. Sniffing gently.
Daywhisper • She / Her • Windclan warrior • 35+ moons { Active Purrks }
♦ Dreamwalker
His tone caused her to flinch, but she did her best to hide that. Daywhisper probably should have expected any coldness, it was well-earned anyway, though was still taken by surprise. Relief flashed in her eyes momentarily on him confirming he wasn't dead, though that didn't answer why she was there.
'Ashamed of what?' The answer to that wasn't exactly a simple one. There were several reasons she should be ashamed, but there were a few specific things that came to mind. Her gaze fell to her paws as she finally spoke after a pause "I was and still am ashamed over what happened with Snape..." That was the biggest of the problems, at least for the time being, trouble was brewing though.
"Hollypaw also knows, ever since Snape told him as a kit he's been... different. He's started perking up a bit... but every time Falls mentions you he... changes" She said with a sigh, she knew it was entirely her fault that this was even a problem to begin with, but it didn't help with the guilt constantly weighing her down.
She braced herself for his next words, they felt like sharp stones being raked across her heart. 'you abandoned me' I know... I know. I KNOW. she screamed in her mind, it's not like she wasn't aware. Every single day she woke up was pure misery, it was cold, lonely, and sad. She perked up at the mention of the fire, admittedly she'd been more concerned about Hollypaw and Fallenpaw's safety during that, barely thinking of how it was affecting anyone other than Windclan.
"It's... not that I didn't think about you or worry... but I have a job Crow, I can't just do whatever I want whenever I want, nor can I just... go" She furrowed her brows "If I get exiled our kits are alone- I have to think about everyone here- not just me and you. It's not just you and me anymore, and it's unfortunately complicated things" She said with a sigh, unable to bring her gaze up to meet his.
She could hear the hurt in his voice, and it was killing her.
"I... I know Crow... I-" She cut herself off, it wasn't even her fault she was here. She'd just been thinking of him, then she was here. "Crow, I don't even know where here is. Well, I do... but I mean I went to sleep in the Windclan camp, and I... woke up... here" She said, looking around.
"I don't... know how I'm here" She frowned, forcing herself to once more meet his eyes. Her heart shattered as she noted the tears and the painfully obvious pain.
Daywhisper took a few hesitant steps forward, closing the gap between them. They were at most, a tail's length apart "I... I'm sorry Crow... This isn't... easy... in any sense of the word, I know I have no right to just- show up- whether it was my choice or not, but I need you to understand I am truly trying my best here..." She finally said, sucking air in through her teeth as she stood her ground, trying to keep eye-contact with him.
Re: [p] overcomplicating seems to get the best of me
Quote:
Originally Posted by seeingstars
Daywhisper • She / Her • Windclan warrior • 35+ moons { Active Purrks }
♦ Dreamwalker
His tone caused her to flinch, but she did her best to hide that. Daywhisper probably should have expected any coldness, it was well-earned anyway, though was still taken by surprise. Relief flashed in her eyes momentarily on him confirming he wasn't dead, though that didn't answer why she was there.
'Ashamed of what?' The answer to that wasn't exactly a simple one. There were several reasons she should be ashamed, but there were a few specific things that came to mind. Her gaze fell to her paws as she finally spoke after a pause "I was and still am ashamed over what happened with Snape..." That was the biggest of the problems, at least for the time being, trouble was brewing though.
"Hollypaw also knows, ever since Snape told him as a kit he's been... different. He's started perking up a bit... but every time Falls mentions you he... changes" She said with a sigh, she knew it was entirely her fault that this was even a problem to begin with, but it didn't help with the guilt constantly weighing her down.
She braced herself for his next words, they felt like sharp stones being raked across her heart. 'you abandoned me' I know... I know. I KNOW. she screamed in her mind, it's not like she wasn't aware. Every single day she woke up was pure misery, it was cold, lonely, and sad. She perked up at the mention of the fire, admittedly she'd been more concerned about Hollypaw and Fallenpaw's safety during that, barely thinking of how it was affecting anyone other than Windclan.
"It's... not that I didn't think about you or worry... but I have a job Crow, I can't just do whatever I want whenever I want, nor can I just... go" She furrowed her brows "If I get exiled our kits are alone- I have to think about everyone here- not just me and you. It's not just you and me anymore, and it's unfortunately complicated things" She said with a sigh, unable to bring her gaze up to meet his.
She could hear the hurt in his voice, and it was killing her.
"I... I know Crow... I-" She cut herself off, it wasn't even her fault she was here. She'd just been thinking of him, then she was here. "Crow, I don't even know where here is. Well, I do... but I mean I went to sleep in the Windclan camp, and I... woke up... here" She said, looking around.
"I don't... know how I'm here" She frowned, forcing herself to once more meet his eyes. Her heart shattered as she noted the tears and the painfully obvious pain.
Daywhisper took a few hesitant steps forward, closing the gap between them. They were at most, a tail's length apart "I... I'm sorry Crow... This isn't... easy... in any sense of the word, I know I have no right to just- show up- whether it was my choice or not, but I need you to understand I am truly trying my best here..." She finally said, sucking air in through her teeth as she stood her ground, trying to keep eye-contact with him.
Crow nodded softly at her words. They made sense but still hurt none the less. "I know you have to care for them. There your kits, but... I saw you today. Don't tell me Twilightstar has some special job just for you that you don't have time to even stop and look at me." Crow meowed. Sighing gently the black furred Tom rounded his gaze. "I know.....I just..." Crow sniffed gently. "I just want you to be OK. I want the kits to be ok..... but if you ignore me for moons just like that... it worries me" Crow said. Hearing her next questions he twitched his whiskers. "It's a dream" though, as fast as his whiskers twitched was as fast as they stopped. The Tom licked his shoulder, pausing hlin his place as he realized what she'd said. "HollyPAW?? So Fallenkit is a paw to?? Who are there mentors? Are they doing well?" Crow fretted. A fatherly worry yet affection filled his gaze as he took a few steps closer to Daywhisper. His eyes softening as he saw her saddened look. Crow slowed his pace. Gently walking over to her so he was about a rabbit hop away. "Daywhisper..... you know I'm only upset because I love you, right?" Crow whispered.
__________________
Oceanstar is the leader of Beachclan!
"You did a great job today and I hope you smile a little by thinking about me at the end of the day" -Kim Hongjoong
[p] overcomplicating seems to get the best of me
