Mistlewhisker
ShadowClan Deputy
she/her | 40 moons
[Large black cat with a half white muzzle and a pale green eye (left gouged out)] Purrks: Beefed Up T3, Shadow Fiend
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[Dawnstar - @Undertaker ] [Hawkbite - @SuspiciousMindz ] [Darkfall - @Dark ] [Squirrelpaw - @furrensic ] [Goopypaw - @Poprock ] [Grousepaw - @redshiftreign ] [Lynxshade - @Wingnettle ]
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Mistlewhisker watched the new apprentices recive their names silently, only speaking to cheer along with everyone else. Fogpaw. Finally, the kit was an apprentice. He had seemed to settle well in ShadowClan, save for the fact that he was nearing 10 moons old and had not begun training. She would keep an eye on him. If he started slacking, she would be there to pick it up with him.
As the reassignments were called, Mistlewhisker felt her mood sour when Grousepaw's name was called. They had both known their time together would be short, as she was only training him during the time in which Dawnstar considered replacements for his mentor. Besides, she already had two apprentices. In the short moon they had trained, Mistlewhisker had grown to feel responsible for the mottled tom. He was careless and crude, but had one of the brightest minds she had seen in the clan. She prayed for Squirrelwhisker, his new mentor. Absently she wondered if the similar name was supposed to be a jab from Dawnstar, but whether it was directed at her or Grousepaw, she couldn't tell.
The announcement of a RiverClanner joining their ranks had Mistlewhisker turning her head to stare at Rookpaw, scrutinizing her. She seemed... meek. Not to mention that Lostspark has taken her on. As a new medicine cat apprentice? Surely not. Surely Lostspark wouldn't take the right from Mossfreckle to choose his own apprentice when the time came.
Though, she hardly had to wait long before Dawnstar revealed that Lostspark would in fact be stepping down from her position as medicine cat, and be rejoining the Enforcers. Mistlewhisker studied the she-cat, noting the gaggle of children hanging around her. Hm, fascinating. Good for her. The Enforcers could always use more capable paws.
"I've deemed it fit to have her replace Mistlewhisker."
Mistlewhisker's head jerked up, icy fear sluicing down her spine. No, surely not. What could she have done to deserve being replaced??
"For Mistlewhisker will be settling in as ShadowClan's new deputy."
Outwardly, Mistlewhisker did not react. She remained calm and collected as usual, meeting Dawnstar's fierce golden gaze with her own chilled green one. She dipped her head in recognition and acception of her new role. Stars, deputy. She had finally done it. She knew what the Enforcers thought of deputy, as well as Dawnstar's distaste for the role. The last several deputies had been failures, but Mistlewhisker would not. She would show this clan that a deputy could be reliable. Mistlewhisker could tell from Dawnstar's stare that she would not be given many chances, if any at all. She vowed to herself to not find out just how many mistakes Dawnstar would let slip.
She could feel the cats in the clearing watching her, some cheering her name in congratulations while other look at her with vague interest and respect. Mistlewhisker was not used to being looked at or recognized, and the feeling was unnerving. But she could get used to this. She'd have to, after all.
She caught Hawkbite's gaze, giving him a small, personal smile as he mouthed congratulations. She couldn't have done this without him. If it hadn't been for him giving her a chance as an Enforcer, recommending her to Dawnstar for deputy, she doubted she would be here, receiving the greatest honor of her life. But she had to wonder... she knew how ambitious he was. Why had he given thus up for her? Surely he was a better fit for deputy. Then again, she was fairly confident Dawnstar recognized the importance of Enforcer Commander more than deputy, and for good reason. Mistlewhisker would have to speak to Hawkbite after this meeting. She needed him to know that despite this change, he was more than just another warrior to her. Mistlewhisker didn't like considering many cats her friends. But Hawkbite... he was definitely one of them.
Other Enforcers caught her gaze and murmured congratulations, Lynxshade cheering her name. Mistlewhisker nodded to the female Enforcer, remembering their conversation half a moon prior. Another possible friend.
Darkfall, a cat she hadn't seen in a little while. She supposed they were friends too, if the ache in her chest was any indication as she looked at him. He looked thin, worn. But he was here, and Mistlewhisker would have to go out on a patrol with him again like they used to. She wouldn't allow him to fall back into the pit of inactivity he seemed to frequently find himself in. He deserved someone looking out for him.
Enforcer names were next. Mistlewhisker's tail tapped against her paws as Shrewstep and Moonmeadow were announced to be new Enforcers. Mistlewhisker was pleased with those choices. She didn't know Shrewstep, but Moonmeadow had long been on her radar, and Mistlewhisker was certain she would do just fine.
And finally, the guards. Mistlewhisker visibly brightened a little, searching the crowd for Squirrelpaw. If she caught the apprentice's gaze, she gave her a nod, eye shining with pride. Pride that was only for her. Hopefully this could help build up her confidence. Mistlewhisker noticed that Goopypaw's name had not been announced, despite the deputy's recommendation for him. Perhaps next meeting, or if one of the many cats assigned the guard position proved to be lacking.
An announcement was made about an apprentice beating on some kits, and Mistlewhisker narrowed her gaze. She would have to keep an eye on the apprentices now. There would be absolutely none of that, going forward.
Dawnstar then moved on, calling up Goopypaw for his warrior ceremony. Mistlewhisker once again watched the apprentice with pride, thrilled at his progression from a self-deprecating child to a strong, capable warrior. Mistlewhisker tried to catch his gaze and give him a nod as well. Two apprentices she cared for, moving up in the clan. To her, that was more important than her promotion to deputy. These young cats would be the generation that kept ShadowClan a force to be reckoned with.
Speaking of forces to be reckoned with, Mistlewhisker could feel Grousepaw's cold gaze on her flank. The deputy turned to look at him, refusing to ignore the obvious hurt in his gaze. Because of course, this looked like she abandoned him for the deputy position. She would have to clear that up with him. She gave him a long look, trying to convey everything she couldn't say yet. She had no idea this was going to happen. And both of them had gone into their training with the knowledge that it would be temporary. He had to see that.
Tearing her gaze away from the apprentice, she focused once more on Goopypaw.
SQUIRRELPAW she/her. 11 moons. small russet molly with brown markings and yellow eyes.
squirrelpaw was just a teensy bit late to the meeting. her anxiety had been particularly bad this morning and she'd resorted to staying in the apprentices den until she calmed down. now, as she shuffles out of the cave and lingers near the back of the crowd, she just hopes nobody will say anything to her.
the russet apprentice sits, fluffy tail wrapping around her paws as she listens to dawnstar speak intently. lostspark was stepping down? it has to be for a good reason..I don't blame her, she thinks with a twitch of her ear. her interest piques at the mention of mossfreckle finding a new apprentice. she can't deny that she's interested in such a role – let's just focus on becoming a warrior first..., she shakes her head before focusing on the queen of mean again.
her eyes widen, jaw dropping. mistlewhisker..deputy?deputy. immediately, she jumps up, yellow gaze sweeping across the crowd. she maneuvers through cats until she reaches her mentor. tears swell in her eyes, but for once, they're from joy - and pride, because mistlewhisker deserved this. a few slip down her cheeks, but she doesn't seem deterred by it. "congrats," she congratulates, wanting to do nothing more than squeal and cheer like a kit. (of course, she won't - maybe some day she'll get there.) "y-you deserve it." she chirps, a wide grin on her maw. it's possibly the biggest grin the apprentice has ever worn.
there were new additions to enforcers. shrewstep and moonmeadow. in all honesty she's not familiar with shrewstep, but she's been on a patrol with moonmeadow before..they seemed kind. a good fit.
squirrelpaw's heart races as dawnstar says her name (accompanied by many others). the all too familiar feeling of worry snakes around her, but as quick as it appears, it melts away. she blinks, confused, as she processes the information. her?? a guard?? oh, thank you starclan! thank you! she cheers, and an odd (but not completely foreign) blooms in her. confidence. if she was trusted to be a guard of all things, surely that meant that dawnstar thought she was good enough to be one. the mere thought makes her giddy, paws doing little tippy-taps against the ground. she doesn't miss the pride in mistlewhisker's gaze, and honestly..she might start weeping again at any moment. but..wait..goopypaw - how come her best friend isn't a guard, too?
the announcement about the kits causes a frown to appear, brows pinching. how could someone, especially an apprentice, do such a cruel thing? and to kits? her eyes drop to her paws.
her gaze flickers back up to dawnstar, ears perking once she calls up goopypaw. she searches the crowd, eagerly looking for the calico. she'd expected to become a warrior alongside him, but she's not going to let the sliver of disappointment ruin her surprisingly good mood. her, a guard. mistlewhisker, now a deputy. and goopypaw, becoming a warrior. rotpaw, gutspaw, bilepaw..they would all be so proud of goopy! I think..this might actually be the best day ever, she thinks while blinking a few tears away.
Honeybite lifts her head to look at Dawnstar as her name is called. One of the new apprentices would be going to her mentorship. She acknowledged the responsibility given to her with a dip of her head, lowering her gaze then to look for the small creature known as Fogpaw.
It seemed that he was the first to make his presence known, and had begun looking for her already. She steps closer, weaving past her Clanmates to approach the young apprentice.
Honeybite tips her head to the side as Fogpaw came to sit before her. "Congratulations on becoming an apprentice, Fogpaw," she murmured, her tail curling over her paws as she took a seat. "I will let you settle into the apprentice's den before we begin any training, though I do not plan to let you go longer than a week without taking you somewhere."
A territory tour and some hunting, perhaps.
She'd think about it in greater depth over the next few days as she rested from the mink battle. Surely, no one would begrudge her to take time for herself. She may not have been injured, but she was tired, and rest hadn't been coming to her as easily as it once did.
She let's her whiskers twitch in amusement at a thought. "I give you permission to come bother me if I do not come collect you for training after a week."
Fogpaw nods and smiles up at his new mentor. They seem kind. He hopes they aren’t too soft on him, though. He wants to get through his training as quickly as possible, to be a warrior at 12 moons- at the latest!
”Yes ma’am!” He sits besides Honeybite, desperately trying to look less red and embarrassed- even long after Slytiger stopped yowling.
Lots of news today, so much Goopypaw could barely keep up!
Secretly he was happy to hear Lostspark was returning to her role as an enforcer. Outwardly he would not show his glee, his only reaction being a quick eyebrow raise. Inwardly though? Goopypaw imagined himself doing a little jig. It's not that he disliked Lostspark as a cat - quite the opposite! She had done so much for Shadowclan as both a warrior, medicine cat, and enforcer. She had even helped practically double their population! How many could say that? It's just... those eyes. Something about her unseeing (?) glare had always made him feel so... naked. Like she was looking right into the depths of his soul, and found nothing positive of note. Or maybe those feelings were just Goopypaw being Goopypaw.
The news of a new medicine cat apprentice was also interesting. Purrhaps someone like Bilepaw would be good for the role??
He blinked at his own thoughts, suddenly remembering the harsh truth. Bilepaw wouldn't be the new medicine cat apprentice. Neither would Rotpaw or Bilepaw. They were gone. No goodbye's, no pawprints, no bodies. Just gone. His whole body sagged, sending another jolt of pain through his leg. Why did he remain? Why did his siblings vanish in the night?? They were all so much better than him.
The apprentice stood awkwardly on three legs, prepared to go hide in the apprentice's den for the rest of his days. What was the point? Why even bother staying in Shadowclan?
Dawnstar's next announcement answered his unspoken question.
Mistlewhisker was the new deputy. Mistlewhisker. MISTLEWHISKER!!!!!!! Suddenly feeling like a bolt of lightning had struck his stinky pelt, Goopypaw was on the move. He didn't bother to avoid any bodies in his way, didn't mind if his pelt clung to theirs for a moment, because he was on a mission.
His hurried steps finally stopped once he found his target. Mistlewhisker. His deputy. One of the first cat's to truly believe in him, to take on him and his siblings, to - to make him feel....... like he belonged. There was so many things he wanted to say to her, so many things he wanted to thank her for. But as he stood in front of the dark deputy, he could only get out a single sentence.
"Thank you for getting me so far, you'll help lead us into a brighter tomorrow." He longed to press his nose to hers. Like an apprentice would to their mentor. Like a son would to their-- . Instead he beamed up at her one more time before quickly turning to find Squirrelpaw.
He could barely believe it. His best friend Squirrelpaw a guard! Midnightpaw had been promoted as well, and the calico knew the two would keep Shadowclan safe. The other guards and enforcers alongside his friends... Shadowclan would never face turmoil again!!!
"Squirrelpaw!!!" He chirped, practically skipping up to her. "I-if I would've known I would've brought you a present!" Argh if only he knew where to find perfectly round pebbles! This would've been a perfect time!! "Congratulations!!" His own happy tippy tappies started back up, and before he knew it he was practically dancing with his best friend. Could this day get any better??
A final announcement, one he hadn't been expecting. His warrior ceremony. N-now?? Here? ME???? He turned slowly to face Dawnstar, shock evident on his face. What about Squirrelpaw? Or... ?????? A sigh. There was no or. Squirrelpaw was a guard, no doubt wracked with more responsibilities. His siblings were gone. Goopypaw would be doing this alone.
He scurried up to Dawnstar after a quick goodbye to Squirrelpaw, offering the Queen of Mean a deep bow of his head. He hadn't spoken to the leader since he proposed his plan, one that still weighed heavily on his mind. It hadn't been forgotten... it just had gotten delayed by the minks. But now that they had been handled? He shook his head. Now was not the time to worry about plans. Now was the time to finally earn his name.
~♥︎~ Silkpaw: The Fool, Reversed
ShadowClan, he/him ~♥︎~
Silkkit almost cowered at the sudden cheers for himself and Fogkit. They were all so loud and it hurt his ears and it made him so embarrassed to be at the center of attention, even for this split second. He was ever grateful when the roaring of his Clanmates died away, and he was now, officially, Silkpaw and the cat beside him Fogpaw.
He lifted himself from where he'd crouched to the ground, and in his ears still rang one voice in particular, one voice that had managed to reach him despite the cacophany of sound, Hawkbite's cheering for him. His head turned, looking for his brown stripey dad-figure and managed a shaky little beaming smile for him.
He'd gotten an apprentice as well, another one, from what he remembered. It seemed miss Dawnstar trusted him an awful lot with the apprentices, and he was sad he'd not been the one Dawnstar had entrusted his training to, but he'd try to get along with the one she had given him.
[ @gs29513 ]
It seemed he had a good mentor, one that made an effort, because Shrewstep approached Silkpaw shortly after, and offered to take him in a territory tour. That seemed like the logical thing. All good warriors had to know the land they lived in, right?
The lilac-point nodded softly. "Ya. That sounds good."
He paused, not wanting to end their conversation so awkwardly, not when the warrior had made the effort to come see him and talk about his training. "My ears are still ringing from the shouting, but I thought miss Dawny said your name is Shrewstep? I'm awful with names, and I want to make sure I know yours."
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Profile picture drawn by Rani and used with permission
Fogpaw nods and smiles up at his new mentor. They seem kind. He hopes they aren’t too soft on him, though. He wants to get through his training as quickly as possible, to be a warrior at 12 moons- at the latest!
”Yes ma’am!” He sits besides Honeybite, desperately trying to look less red and embarrassed- even long after Slytiger stopped yowling.
Honeybite nods, a hint of relief in her face at the eagerness that Fogpaw showed.
With any luck, this would follow the apprentice into his training. She appreciated when her students genuinely wished to learn - it made it easier for her, and it made the lessons themselves sink in quicker, and more efficiently.
She sat at Fogpaw's side as the meeting continued, and found that most of the announcements to not be of interest to her. Enforcers, Guards, Lostspark retiring (but not being given a less offensive name), it means little to her, and this new rank seemed less good than it should be. It would only encourage the rest of the warriors to be lazy, now that there were even MORE cats in special ranks supposed to take care of things.
Whatever, she was sure things may or may not even out....
What did interest her was Goopypaw's warrior ceremony, however.
She might have had no part in his training, but he had been entrusted to her care during the mink battle. And for him to be named a warrior, she felt pride in her chest.
Her whiskers twitched in anticipation to hear what Goopypaw's warrior name would be.
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Profile picture drawn by Rani and used with permission
@Abyssopelagic @JackHunt_17
Ah, it was so FUN to have a little spat with Fiercefire! It was exhilarating to say the least, and Shrewstep chuckled softly at the tom's indignation. Well, you clearly need to get your ducks in a row! he snorted. You don't want to be caught slacking again and have what happened to Frogfang's reputation happen to yours. Yes he was being unnecessarily annoying, but he was BORED. And Dawnstar was busy waiting for apprentices-to-be to show up. Which he might get a go at, but who knew. He'd been given a pretty bad one in the past, so who knew?
It did seem that he would get a chance with a fresh kit though, and Shrewstep popped to his feet with a small smile back at Fiercefire. Pardon me, I have to dash. Evidently, Dawnstar thinks I need to be involved in teaching the future warriors, so I'm off to do that now! This was not his most eloquent sentence, but it didn't particularly matter to him at this exact moment. He had an apprentice which would do well to keep him more occupied than he had been before the mink fight, and he could try and push himself a bit more into the clan consciousness. Untethered and 'new' Shrewstep, no longer so inextricably linked to Blackhaze, was a more ambitious cat. There was a distinct lack of deputy in the clan at the moment, though that also might be on the docket for this meeting. Who knew. Regardless, the Enforcer rank was also there to aspire to.
But first, he actually had to do something with Silkpaw. Fixing a nice smile on his face, something decently friendly if not pathetically excited, he made his way towards the young tom. Or not so young. Or perhaps just large. He looked a bit more mature than he had expected, not that there was anything wrong with that. The general nervousness about him was pretty clear, but that might just be Shrewstep nitpicking a bit. Hello Silkpaw. I look forward to working with you. Will you be ready for a territory tour after the meeting? Hopefully that got them off on a decent enough paw, and Silkpaw wouldn't be an annoying little brat as some kits and apprentices were wont to be.
Fiercefire just rolled his eyes and sighed
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Male (He/Him only plz)
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I'm active most week days from 8:00am-3pm EST, and sporadically on weekends and holidays, but often significantly less than I am during school days. Won't be online afterschool most days and def not Wednesdays cuz karateee.
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| Cougarbite | Cloudheart | Forestpaw | Fiercefire! |
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Oh, Lostspark was stepping down.. that was unforunate. However, the small calico had large hopes in Mossfreckle and was sure the tom wouldn't let ShadowClan down. She fully trusted him to be her clan's best medicine cat they had ever seen! Ooh, there were so many announcements today. So Lostspark was joining the enforcers again.. and ShadowClan finally had a deputy!! Mistlewhisker! She only knew the moly because she'd handled her assesment, but that brief experience had been quite enjoyable.
"Mistolwhiska!!" she cheered loudly, voice slightly distorted and muffled due to her broken jaw. Then, new enforcers. Shrewstep and Moonmeadow.. she didn't know too much about those two cats but she trusted they'd be a great fit for the role. Even if they wouldn't catch it she shot both of them a quick smile, chanting their names while doing so. "Shruwstap! Meonmodow!"
Waaaait. There were new guards and one of them was YELLOWTWIST!! Tail lashing from side to side in excitement, Palesong bounded to her 'friends' side and beamed widely at him. It was time to cheer super extra loud for him!! "Yallowtwust!!!" she mewed eagerly. Then she quickly made an effort to lower her voice so she wouldn't be scolded bybig, scary Dawnstar. "I'm so so proud of you!! You're a guard, that's super cool!"
After the paw stepped forward, Dawnstar leaped down the ledge and began the ceremony. "I, Dawnstar, leader of ShadowClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down upon this apprentice. He has trained hard in the ways of a warrior and I commend him to you as a warrior in his turn. Goopypaw, do you promise to protect and serve this Clan, even at the cost of your life?" #shcmeeting
@Poprock
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siggy art by redshiftreign
Dawnstar is the leader of ShadowClan and her kits currently reside in her den, enter and she may maim or kill you. She has a closed den policy. ShadowClan Resources ||| Dawnstar ||| ||| Kit Curriculum Finder
She felt a disturbance in the force. Her eyes cautiously swivelled sideways to find a parasite there – joking – her little sister there, with abundant energy and giving her a… Smile. If Sleepypaw were a twoleg, her face would certainly flush even just a bit, not used to any outwardly affection save for mama’s rare occasional apparent love and Miss Grandmama’s tail flick above her ear. In other words, Sleepypaw didn’t know how to smile back.
Her face contorted just a bit, wondering how to react before lowering to the ground followed by blue eyes looking back up at Miss Grandmama. One might think she ignored her younger sister whom she once showed care, but, note the tail of the young apprentice slowly and loosely finding its way around Birdpaw – a silent acceptance of her presence, even just this once.
But it didn’t remain the two of them for long, however much Sleepypaw would’ve wished it to be. Despite some of the warriors sitting too close for comfort, which Sleepypaw usually paid no mind to by focusing on Miss Grandmama instead, it appeared Mossfreckle decided to join them. Sleepypaw silently retreated her form with the starry feline seating themselves in between the two sisters, remaining in place only to not disturb the meeting, and perhaps a bit for Birdpaw too.
She could tell they were close by the way they interacted, and the young apprentice returned only a subtle nod at the medicine cat apprentice’s greeting – her tail wrapping around three black and a singular white paw when Mossfreckle began conversing with one of the enforcers.
More importantly than the cats swarming around her, Miss Grandmama was beginning the meeting; if any discomfort by the many and closeness of others had been betrayed across her face, it was now gone and returned to it’s resting neutral and expressionless state, watching her grandmother with hidden curiosity. The way she commended the clan for a battke well-fought; it made her heart flutter, wish to be among those she commended for their skill – all the more Sleepypaw lamented not having been able to join the fight against the minks.
Ah; but Miss Grandmama wasn’t without her grievances. With two injured and half the amount of cats present compared to WindClan, understandably, it Miss Grandmama was upset. Tingles covered her body listened to Miss Grandmama; not intimidated by the feline she cared for, more so taking her words to heart. Sleepypaw wanted to contribute more. Do more. Be more. She needed to prove to mama and Miss Grandmama that she was worthy, that she could be everything they needed and wanted her to be – no mistakes or mess ups were allowed. She could not be a weak link.
Determination bloomed within the young apprentice; an itch to work more, to learn more, to surpass her age and pears and reach the heights she needed to reach and beyond. Sleepypaw could allow herself to do no less than perfection, that much was clear.
Ah, apprentice ceremonies. Dully, she noted the lack of a Bleedingkit – the kitten mama had taken in not too long ago. She cast a short and quick glance around, not yet noting the youngling’s presence before focusing back on the reassignments Miss Grandmama was given, something she was lucky not to be a part of; Miss Grandmama was reliable and always present. She wouldn’t just leave, luckily.
Oh, and it appeared there were two new cats within the clan – Honeyoak.. And Minkpaw, now Rookpaw; a former RiverClanner. Was that the stranger sitting next to mama and – oh, there was Bleedingkit. Her whiskers twitched, piercing blue eyes staring at the pair for a moment until the meeting proceeded.
Now came arguably the most surprising news of the day: mama retiring from being a medicine cat and returning to her roots as an enforcer; a glance towards Mossfreckle; leaving him as the new full medicine cat – or soon to be, at least, at an arguably young age for someone who was also a fully trained warrior (Mossfreckle didn’t seem to have any wrinkles of old age yet…).
And this meant a new medicine cat apprentice. Her heart skipped a beat, she felt a tingle in her paws – why? She set the feeling aside, it must simply be a strange new perception, mama not being the main medicine cat any more. Furthermore, Mistlewhisker was taking the empty space of a deputy – a rank she knew she was still too young to fill, courtesy of her rank; she was not very familiar with Mistlewhisker, but as an enforcer Miss Grandmama must trust her and therefore Sleepypaw saw no issue with the choice.
There was a light flick of her ear with the some that began chanting or congratulating the feline, Sleepypaw remaining reactionless; a blink of understanding was her acceptance. It hurt, however; new enforcers joined the ranks and as much as she wanted to, she was not among them – she pressed her lips together, listening to the new enforcer’s names; perhaps it was because she hadn’t had battle training yet, she could understand that, or perhaps she simply wasn’t good enough, which was likely, and only further proof that she needed to work more. Work harder. Rise above her station and beyond; the mantra was always the same, imperfection could not be allowed.
However, a different surprise awaited her. Guard. Sleepypaw was made a guard – though still with the same restrictions of an apprentice, she and some others were now entrusted with the additional task of ensuring the camp’s safety. Her posture grew rigid and determined, eyes fleeting up to meet Miss Grandmama’s gaze. She could not fail these new duties entrusted to her; Sleepypaw could make no promises to be broken, but she could work every second she was given to fulfil this role hopefully better than was expected of her. And perhaps, once she gained some battle experience, she may approach Miss Grandmama about leaving camp alone… The young apprentice felt restricted, forced to be in the company of a strange warrior to leave camp when, soon enough, she would be fully capable of doing so herself if she just remained careful. Right? She would not let a repeat of what happened to Moonkit and Thrushkit fly.
Ah, and among the promotions, it Goopypaw – silly prefix – would be gaining his warrior name. Soon, she told herself, soon, she hoped, soon she wanted to stand there, too, earning her name under Miss Grandmama’s guidance and mama’s love.
Between these thoughts, the youngling felt a pair of eyes on her – and familiar voice loudly calling her name. A dull gaze turned around to see Bleedingkit happily chanting those who got promoted, her among the loudest much to the twinge in her chest, and smile plastered on mama’s face. As she so often had, mama was cuddling and coddling her prized daughter, her prized thirteen this time in the form of Mirepaw – but – she had to force those thoughts away. Mama said she loved her too, had she not? Mama had confirmed her love for her more than enough and despite the pain she still felt when seeing the care and attention they received, she should know better than to let those thoughts consume her once more. They too, supposedly, had suffered – at least, some had; they too were worthy of mama’s attention and care, that much she had accepted. But was she worthy of it too, despite mama’s proclamation of care and love?
Much like she had during her apprentice ceremony, momentarily unheeding of her surroundings, Sleepypaw’s eyes were locked on her mama; compelling her, asking her to please come forth, to please hold her like she used to too, to hold her like she held Mirepaw so close to her heart. She wouldn’t admit it, would she? But she missed it, her mama’s hugs. Her mama’s closeness, she missed it so but did not know how to ask for it. And even as Sleepypaw had finally come to accept the thirteen’s presence and clear the misunderstandings that had formed in her mind, despite the care and attention she received – and was grateful to receive – from Miss Grandmama; sometimes, sometimes she wanted that same attention from mama. Even if it wasn’t this instant (Sleepypaw knew one couldn’t disrupt Miss Grandmama’s meetings, and that mama was occupied with younger at this time), deep within her heart she hoped mama would come and give her the time of day, a hug. A word. Anything. Anything that made her feel closer to the feline she loved so much.
Re: The Shadowledge
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