A little bird told me... [Private]

[Tiabirb]

Starling nodded. Padding after Kestrelstar, her mind was whirling. Moons had passed. Moons of loneliness and so many heavy feelings of her guilt...they weren't completely gone, but Starling felt...different. Lighter, and- Wait, what was that?

Hurrying over, she saw that it was...Peonypaw? What was she doing here? Wh-why? Her fur was torn in ways that were not cat. Those...those were done by something canine. The entire border held the stench of blood and death. Would this border ever be safe again? "Kestrelstar," Starlingflight murmured hoarsely. Grief washed over her as she watched him curl around the young dead cat. He needed a moment to mourn, so she padded forward, gently pressed her nose against Peony's fur and moved away to scent the air.

She sniffed the air, padding up and down the bank for any other scent. And there...coyote. "It seems they haven't vacated completely..." She growled. "But we need to get Peony back to camp." Starlingflight looked down at the small cat, then to the leader next to her. Another devastating blow had been made to the RiverClan leader. Crouching next to him, she murmured into his ear.

"Kestrelstar, listen to me. I'm simply giving you my advice and opinion..." Starlingflight began, "We need to close down this border. It is becoming too unsafe. We have to secure this border from all threats, we have to think for the safety of our Clanmates." She whispered to him, "Peony's death is..tragic, but it is a reminder that real threats are still lurking along this river of death...until we remove those threats completely...please, Kestrelstar, the Clan has grieved for too much already....we can at least prevent more loss if we restrict the border..." It's what she would have done the first time she had learned some cat had died on the border. Secure the border, then the territory within will be secure as well. But so long as one of their borders remained dangerous, the territory within the border was not safe for apprentices or cats roaming about alone.

@spade //sorry not my best ^^;

[spade]

The rising tide of grief and agony was not done with Kestrelstar as it threatened to take him under, ridding hid lungs of air and his heart of hope. His apprentice... he'd been focused on finishing Nightpaw's training that he hadn't quite gotten around to even starting Peonypaw's... and now she was gone. Her life, her too short life, snuffed out at the one place that was now becoming apparent to Kestrelstar as too dangerous.

With his nose still tucked into her cold fur, the leader took a long inhale to remember her scent, the sweet aroma that danced around with her when she was alive, gracing RiverClan with its presence. "I don't want the kits to see another mangled body," he finally announced, lifting his head to look at Starlingflight. He didn't want the youth of RiverClan growing up thinking that seeing bloodied bodies was normal. They had their entire kithood to just be kits before their warrior training started. There was a time and a place to learn of bloodshed; normal camp life was not it.

After a moment or two he rose to his paws, gray tabby pelt disheveled from the trek already. "We'll bury her in Sleepy Thicket. I know Snakeheart has a few graves out there," he nodded, words soft as they rolled off his tongue. Yellow eyes stayed glued onto the unmoving figure, glazed over in grief as the leader bent down to position the light apprentice on his back.

"I need to call a meeting soon. There are ceremonies to do... and discussing this border has just made itself a priority," he agreed, understanding where the older molly was coming from, and for once agreeing. "Let's mark the border, and then I'll head to bury her, you can... go back to camp." That was right. This whole walk had stemmed from Kestrelstar catching her before her attempt to leave RiverClan. Would she still go? Wordlessly his yellow eyes found hers, holding her gaze for a moment. Would she still leave RiverClan? He'd meant to talk with her about it, but after everything that had been brought to light... the exhausted leader just wanted to sleep it all away.

// @Tiabirb

[Tiabirb]

She saw the doubt in his eyes. How could he doubt her now? How could she possibly leave now? "I will go back to camp and inform Snakeheart and Splashleap," She meowed firmly, "After we bury Peonypaw...together. Not even you should be out here alone, Kestrelstar." Nine lives or not, would they matter if he was ripped to shreds like the apprentice at their paws?

She wanted to say forget the border. Was it worth sticking around? It couldn't have been too long since the attack that left Peony dead, and the scent of blood would definitely attract the predators back. "We're at risk if we stay here any longer than necessary Kestrelstar.... We can re-mark the border when we have settled what should be done about it. But it isn't safe here. Not with...all of this blood..." She choked, shaking her head as grief formed a heavy lump in her throat.

Scanning the growth along the side of the border, Starlingflight's pelt prickled with discomfort. She felt like they were being watched...and the scent of coyote was still strong in the air. It had left, right?

@spade

[spade]

Something in her eyes and tone started to convince Kestrelstar that maybe, just maybe, she wouldn't leave. But the whole that had been started by his mothers death, and torn open again by his own kin leaving, made it hard to just accept it at face value. Regardless, Kestrelstar just gave her a nod and turned away from the border, silently making his way towards the Sleepy Thicket where Snakeheart made a habit of burying fallen RiverClan.

The young slain apprentice wasn't heavy at all, though Kestrelstar's step were slow as he made his way blindly through territory he knew well enough to not be worried about his grief shielding his vision. "I'm sure that whatever mutt attacked Peonypaw is probably gone, off to look for it's next meal. I'll have to tell Splashleap to keep an eye out when she sends out the next batch of patrols," he murmured as he continued to walk, each step bringing him closer to their desination.

Soon, the faint smell of lilies reached him, indicating the first grave marker was shortly ahead. With a sigh, Kestrelstar kneeled down to let Peonypaw slide off, starting to work on digging a grave for her. A hiss came as one claw snagged on a particularly tough part of soil, but he kept going despite the trickle of blood. He had to lay his apprentice to rest.

// @Tiabirb

[Tiabirb]

She walked along beside him, keeping Peony's small body adjusted so she wouldn't fall off from time to time. She remained silent, her thoughts flying in so many different directions that her head felt like it was floating right off her shoulders. Peonypaw is dead. Kestrelstar is the son of her former mate. All those deaths...and the border is no longer safe. She looked over at the torn ginger body, her heart breaking for Kestrelstar. He had been through so much already...

Oh StarClan..if you are up there..if you are listening...why? Why are you taking so many cats from us? She wanted to strike out, to claw something. But she had to keep it together.

At the graveyard, Starlingflight helped him dig his apprentice's grave, noting the way his claw snagged on the root. "Here," She murmured gently, moving her paw closer, "Dig like this. Curl your paw and scoop. Keep your claws sheathed.." She demonstrated, curling her paw and digging her toes into the dirt to shovel more out of the way. She wasn't sure if he was listening. She wasn't even sure he cared. He probably didn't, but that wouldn't stop her from trying to help.

"I'm sorry," She whispered. Starlingflight had no idea who she was talking to at that moment; Kestrelstar, Peonypaw, herself, Featherkit? She couldn't decide. Starlingflight only hoped that something would break this bloody cycle of death that had begun plaguing their Clan for what felt like moons now...
@spade

[spade]

Kestrelstar could tell that Starlingflight was speaking to him, though her words remained incoherent as he curved his paws, using them to continue pulling soil from the earth.

The spot didn't need to be that big.

Stars, the spot didn't need to be that big...

His apprentice would be laid to rest here, never to walk again, or smile or laugh or grow. Her life, flooded with so much potential, now gone and swept away from her. The stars were no life for a cat so young... she deserved better. RiverClan deserved to have her back.

After awhile, the hold before him seemed adequate enough for Peonypaw, and Kestrelstar made quick work of maneuvering her body into the hold. Usually he would speak a few words - wasn't that customary? - but bile rose as his throat tightened in on itself. Words wouldn't come now. They wouldn't for awhile, the leader knew, so instead of waiting around all night for his heart to slow and breathing to regulate, he began to bury his apprentice.

"None of this should've happened."

It was unclear if he meant Peonypaw's death, Featherkit's death, or Duskfall's death. Perhaps all three - not even Kestrelstar was certain. Words spoken to the void, lost as soon as they were set free. Yellow eyes turning to Starlingflight, he continued to turn around and head back in the direction of camp.

"None of it."

// @Tiabirb [ just wanted to do the last post to wrap this up! feel free to have Starling respond if you'd like tho ^^ ]