the changing tides of seasons [private]

[Arie]

-- @bmkmb --

A prize? Now that didn't sound all that bad and Doetuft couldn't help her sputter of laughter at the idea. What would a prize even include? A piece of prey? Not getting drowned? Not falling out of a tree? How could that even be prevented. And why was she even thinking about getting a prize it wasn't like she wanted one. Doetuft never really... wanted anything. It was a strange thing to think about and why was she so good at getting side tracked? It had happened once again and this time while she'd been resting in the water. Though she didn't want to admit it, she was getting used to the water. It was starting to feel warmer, more comfortable. Less like some strange and horrid rushing rapid that would wash her down and drown her in the process. Her fear of drowning was very much still apparent but, steps were steps after all no matter how small they were. The water was feeling... less dangerous for some reason and she didn't want to credit the entire reasoning to the tom who was right in front of her, so sticking out her tongue for the second time, not caring that this was a ridiculous act for warriors, new warriors who were supposed to be acting with the dignity it demanded. They were alone! no one would see them unless they'd been followed which Doetuft highly doubted. A blind cat and a sleep deprived one out on a trip didn't seem the most entertaining to follow. "A prize... does not... sound bad... at all," she couldn't help but voice. It was interesting, amusing to hear Snowflake in a talkative mood. He did talk but never as free spiritied as it seemed he was today. Did hanging out in the stream do this to him? If it did... she would have to start coming up with excuses to come out to a stream or start exploring the territory and see if they could come across any other small streams. Yet when he started talking once again about how she would or rather, should, navigate the stream she perked her ears and slowly, rose to her paws, albeit a teeny bit wobbly. Feeling the direction the stream she, instead of lying down this time, sat down. Turning her head in the direction the stream was running she mumbled, more or less to herself than anything, "Don't go... that way or.. you drown." Sounded reasonable enough didn't it? Yeah, at least to her ears. Despite growing more comfortable it didn't mean this would just... be that. Progress could always be made better, better could always be improved on. And her skills in catching frogs could too. "How.. are you... expecting... to train... an apprentice... when you...don't talk?" she couldn't resist countering. Maybe he would talk to the apprentice? That would be a great thing to listen to and Doetuft was almost tempted to drop in another remark but resisted. "I can... explore on my... own now. It might... take time.. but I am sure... I can find... a frog or... a toad somewhere. They can't.. just exist... in Shadowclan." She highly doubted that and hey, walking across a frog or a toad wouldn't be that difficult. She could just pluck a piece of Snowflake's fur and wave it around, he had said they were attracted to his fur after all. That thought within itself was hilarious enough to send her into a laughing and coughing fit. And then at his comment of having no nest she stuck her nose up in the air and let out a loud huff. "My pile... of twigs... is quite useful! You've... slept in it more... than me. So there by... it is... your nest." Or.. was it their nest? At this point they both slept it in it, at the same time. Or more or less Snowflake it slept in it properly and she found some weird way to drape herself over him so she wouldn't have her coarse fur pressing against the twigs. Yes. Twigs. Not sticks. She didn't sleep in a nests of twigs, she slept in a nest of twigs. Listening to him wade further out though she was tempted to follow just for the sake of maybe having fun. Standing up she did move out a tiny bit before sitting down and sticking her paw into the water and sliding it further out, taking her time to determine the depth of the water. By no means did she intend to go out where she would have more than her knees drowned in water, simply would be asking for disaster. "Enjoying... it you are?" she asked as she lifted her tail and then, with a laugh, splashed water in his direction.

[nocturnal]

@Arie

The water was deeper here. It flowed swiftly around him, dragging his long fur along with it. The warrior internally huffed at the sight. He looked like a soggy pile of grass in the water. Taking another step forwards, the tom found himself submerged up to the neck, then closed his eyes, allowing himself to really feel the water running through his fur. It wasn't as nice as it could've been - the liquid still needed to navigate a forest fur before reaching his skin - but it was the most relaxing thing that he had felt in a long while. Frankly, the large warrior didn't even understand how he had come to see running water was relaxing. All his major experiences with the clear blue substance had been negative in some way. It would only be natural for him to dislike water, yet for whatever reason, the opposite was true. "What would you expect in a prize?" Talonstone questioned, seriously thinking about getting one for Doetuft as a joke. It wouldn't really be a joke if he actually carried out the plan, though, would it? On the topic of prizes, what about presents? What did cats give as presents? Prey was too boring, and flowers were... strange. Sticks? Pebbles? Feathers? The tom wouldn't know; he'd never gotten a present before. He'd never witnessed a cat giving another a present, either. As for prizes and rewards... did being excused from a training session count as a reward? Back in thundercat territory, he had never got a day off from practice. Being freed from the torture early had been the greatest thing, other than the thrill of sneaking out of camp to meet up with Lionpaw and Ravenpaw, of course. Such a thing was against the Code, so did that make him a villain? He'd broken the Code plenty of times when no one was looking as a thundercat, all in the name of survival. If he was going to get in trouble for it in the future, then it was just something that he would have to deal with. It wasn't like the stars were going to leave him alone for long, anyway. But he was not only getting off topic, but ruining the mood. Forcibly shoving those thoughts out of his mind, Talonstone opened his eyes and immediately scanned around for Doetuft before flicking an ear in exasperation. There he went again with the unnecessary searching for the tabby molly. It wasn't like she was going to disappear if he wasn't looking directly at her. "I do not not talk," the warrior claimed solemnly. "I would rather not talk and save my energy for something important than participating in pointless rabble." Actions counted more than words. What came out a feline's mouth could surely sting, but most cats had a yowl stronger than their bite... unless they didn't. In that case, one should always be prepared. "We've been warriors for less than a fortmoon," Talonstone pointed out. "I doubt that even Icestar would assign us an apprentice that early." Then again, the shadowcats fell a bit short when it came to suitable mentors, so who knew? Other than the leader herself, of course, and possibly the deputy, too. Yes... Doetuft was perfectly capable of exploring on her own at the moment. She definitely had not been leaning on him all the way to the stream. Definitely not. As for bringing the frog and or toad back to camp alive... how did she expect to do that? Give the amphibian a ride on her back and hope that it didn't hop away? The hoppity creatures lacked a scruff, so carrying them back was out of the question. Talonstone was fairly sure that he was safe from slimy things, at least for the time being. At Doetuft's sudden laughter, the tom furrowed his brows. Had the tabby ever laughed so openly before? If so, then he couldn't remember. It made him want to smile, knowing that he was capable of making the molly happy in his presence, although realize... he felt like smiling. Not that he actually did it. The ghost of a smirk skimmed his maw just for a bit, however. Had he? Slept in Doetuft's nest more than she had herself? It certainly didn't feel that way. His nest? But he couldn't just... steal the rights to the nest, not when it had been Doetuft's first. "Our nest," Talonstone decided out loud, then paused as he realized what he had just said. Well... if they wetew going to share the nest, they would need to make it a bit larger. Something for him to do later. Suddenly, a thin wave of water splashed onto him, effectively getting any part of his body that had still been dry wet. The tom huffed in wry amusement, then meowed, "Miraculously, I am." With that, he skimmed his tail across the surface of the water, sending a decently sized wave coming back towards the molly. He belatedly realized that perhaps splashing the blind cat without much of a warning wasn't the greatest idea, but time wasn't something that he was capable of turning back.

[Arie]

-- @bmkmb --

Having somewhat closed her eyes after her splash she perked her ears when Talonstone spoke again, but... she was getting drowsy from the calming sounds of the water and was almost tempted to just lower her head and sleep, until she realized... that it might not be the best idea. Who knew, if she did actually fell asleep she could risk being washed away. But her ears were listening to his words and couldn't help thinking about it in truth. Was he seriously contemplating giving her a prize? She didn't particularly want one, it had all just been for amusements sake but now he was actually being serious about getting her one? She didn't know how to feel but instead just... let out a small huff, as more water rushed over her lower back now that she was back to sitting upright in the stream. What could be counted as a prize? It was an interesting phenomenon or well, question. There was nothing strange about this, it was just a simple question, one that she somehow ended up overthinking like she did everything else in her life. But what would she expect in a prize? "I.. don't know. A day... where you... spoke... more than... a few words?" At it though she couldn't keep a straight face and ended up bubbling out in laughter once again. Here they were, and he was speaking more than he'd done for a long while but she still found it endlessly amusing to poke fun at his... need to not say many words. It wasn't like she spoke much either but the small answers to her questions had gotten tiring... a bit. Any words, for her at least, was a small achievement that she was succeeding in opening up Snowflake a teeny bit more. Bit for bit. Shaking out her fur though, and splashing water all of it the place she placed her paws carefully back in the water. Such strange things had happened today already, starting off with her original opposition to end up in the water and now here she was, sitting in the middle of it and actually starting to enjoy it and grow comfortable. It somehow reminded her of the peacefulness that came with... curling up in a nest and drowsing off. And then as he let out his protest, Doetuft raised her head, and still keeping her eyes closed just for the sake of doing it, "You... talk.. rarely," she corrected with a small smirk. And then, she saw her opportunity to get back at him and voiced with sarcasm clear in her tone, "So this... this... talking... we're doing... is pointless... rabble yeah? Would...you... rather... nothing was.. ever said between.. us?" If they'd not ever spoken, none of them would've come this far, she was sure. And well, she couldn't help the opportunity he'd given for her to get back at him with his own words. "None... of what... we've talked... about hasn't.. been important.. huh?" Oh she was treading in dangerous waters but, she was growing bold, knowing usually she could get away with her teasing when it came to Talonstone. That was one thing they'd always been comfortable around, the sarcasm and poking at brittle words. "Who knows... she might somehow... know.. thats the... only thing... you're good at. Not... talking. So... to get you... talking she... assigns a trouble... kid." Doetuft wouldn't be surprised if they did get an apprentice. Both of them had been through a decent round of mentors, and had learned a lot and become stronger for it. Add in the fact that they were older than some of the other warriors with apprentices right at this moment because of their delayed ceremonies and transferring from clan to clan. They were perfectly fit to get an apprentice to it was rather just a waiting game. Doetuft knew as long as she didn't get an extroverted kid who kept running off cliffs... she would be able to stay somewhat... sane? Somewhat? That was all you could hope for wasn't it? Shaking that thought out of her head, when Snowflake next spoke she was unable to help the feeling of heat and embarrassment that rushed up to the tip of her ears. Since when had.... her... his... nest become 'theirs'? She didn't know but she had a good estimate of when that'd happened. "Ours... only if... you're alright... with being laid... upon." She felt comfortable being enveloped in the fluff that was Talonstone's fur. It was... nice and warm and comfortable. Or so had been the one night she'd been drowsing off next to, and on top of him. And then... all of a sudden she was being drowned by a wave that literally washed over her face and entire upright body. Oh she was soaked. Letting out a cough that expelled some of the water that had ended up in her throat she was croaking for a good minute trying to pull herself together. Oh, he was going to get it. Not caring if he was going to end up even more soaked than he was she - carefully, minding her shoulder injuries - lifted her paws and slapped them down on the water hopefully creating an equally large wave. "Don't... drown me," she huffed out but the amusement was evident in her croaking and hoarse voice.

[nocturnal]

@Arie

The warrior took some time in between his splash and Doetuft's reaction to think about his earlier statement. The one about it being their nest. If he was being completely honest with himself, then it technically was their nest. The two felines shared the pile of twigs - twigs, not sticks, because apparently there was a very important difference between the two things - without much disagreement. It was completely Doetuft's fault that they shared a resting area, the white tom decided, because it had been the tabby to holst him into the nest. He had been perfectly content with sleeping on the earthy floor beside said nest rather than being inside of it. Seeing that both of them often shared the pile of brown tree parts now, it was clear that they would need to renovate it soon. Otherwise, Doetuft would continued to end up sleeping on top of him. "I've already spoken more than a few words this day," Talonstone pointed out. "It's not as if you speak too often, either," he remarked. Neither of them were sociable, chatty felines, and that was just fine. They both participated within their clan frequently; that was good enough for him. The tom couldn't help but huff at Doetuft's sudden laughter. She was laughing a lot today and it made his chest bubble... as if getting the molly to show positive emotion was a great achievement. He took a step backwards and focused on the water flowing past him as he continued to ponder. Why? Not why, the answer was one word that he dared not think nor say again. But how? How had Doetuft become such a close friend that this could happen? They had much in common, from their heritage to their similar knack for overthinking things. It had started the second they spoke for the first time. Perhaps it had been destined for them to meet, but then, what would happen next? Doetuft's words brought him back to the present once more, and he opened his maw to disagree but she never gave him the chance. If not for his stoic mask, the warrior's brows would've furrowed at the sudden hostility in the molly's reply. He was aware that she was simply poking at him, but it still irritated him to an extent. "This talking is not pointless rabble. If it was, I would not be wasting my time to speak with you," Talonstone retorted. Everything that he had ever said to Doetuft was important in one way or another. The white feline impulsively rolled his eyes. If he got a troublesome kitten, the thing would either have to learn its place or he would end up chucking it into the ocean in hopes that it didn't know how to swim. If it wasn't obvious enough, Talonstone was not mentor material. "And what? You'll get the little angel kitten as your apprentice?" the warrior muttered. It wouldn't be surprising if Doetuft got one of the less troublesome apprentices because of her... disability. Then again, he hadn't been the most cooperative cat upon transferring to the clan of shadows, so he might be wrong. "I do not have much of a choice unless one of us would rather hang outside of the nest," the tom meowed. He didn't mind, really. Although Doetuft wasn't as warm and fluffy, she could still be used as a somewhat decent blanket. "We will need to increase the size of the nest soon," Talonstone decided, "unless you prefer sleeping on top of me rather than having your own room to the side?" While he would rather have enough room for the both of them, he understood why Doetuft might not choose to expand their nest. The tom startled as a large wave came at him. There wasn't much to do but stand around and take the hit. Water crashed down onto him, sending a warm yet chilly feeling through his body. Well then. It looked as if they would be having a water fight. With an amused smirk, Talonstone sent a wave at Doetuft with his tail, followed by a splash by his paw. "You won't drown," he replied bluntly. She would just... get more than a little wet. How kittish, the two of them were acting. But he was enjoying it, so he supposed that he could allow their undignified behavior to slide for once.

[Arie]

-- @bmkmb --

Could every day be like this? Minus the water of course, Doetuft was enjoying this. It was enjoyable and a nice way just to... exist. And absorb everything, to think everything through without needing to worry about looking awkward, about their privacy being invaded or anything. Here they were. Alone. In a stream. Preferably the latter wouldn't happen again but who knew, it seemed like Snowflake enjoyed it and despite the fact that it wasn't often the white tom voiced any requests or anything, she knew this would be something that, if he voiced a request or wanted to drag her somewhere, back to a stream like this would be their first destination. Now... if they were going tree climbing at least both of them could be ... comfortable. And maybe they could even gather more twigs for their nest since Snowflake seemed intent on making it so heavy they wouldn't be able to move it at all. Nevertheless she enjoyed the rushing sound of the water and was once again tempted to drowse off. It was peaceful... and she enjoyed it, more than she ever wanted to admit. It was still scary, on so many levels but there was also this element and freedom to just... let go of everything. She understood now, in a way, why it seemed Snowflake liked to hang out in the streams or rivers... it was therapeutic in its own very special way. But as what sounded like a complaint came out of Talonstone's mouth the young warrior couldn't help the rumble of laughter... because he was partially true. "That... is true... I'll admit that. And... I do appreciate.. it when... you voice... your thoughts." She well and truly did and if he was anywhere close to her she would've reached up and touched his cheek with her head.. but he was not. He was out there further in the stream and attempting not drowning. Which it seemed was going quite well for him, at least so far. So far so good? "I voice... when I find... something vital. If you... wait never... mind. I won't... finish that thought." She had no interest in accidentally offending Talonstone and that was exactly she was going for what that sentence. Standing up in the water, albeit slowly and with a bit of struggle she once again took a few further steps out towards the deeper end. Now it was reaching her upper belly fur and... covering her back if she was to lay down again. Which most certainly she was NOT going to do. No intention at drowning. Not for her. If Talonstone wanted to drown... he could go ahead, although it would probably result in a failed rescue mission from her side and both of them drowning due to that. "Good to... know," she mumbled with a small smile before adding, "because... I do not... think... any of.. these conversations... qualifies as that. Cause... i rather do... enjoy them." She did enjoy every single word she managed to drag out of that quiet mouth of his. Appreciated. That was the better word. Once again she was tempted to make her way over to him but there was the issue that she could in fact not swim nor handle herself quite well in the water. Was she sitting close to the middle of the stream now? She had to. So instead of doing what she would've done which was to lean against him with a quiet smile... but now she had to resort to sticking her tongue out at the tom and at the comment that she would get an easy apprentice she just stuck her tongue out further. "Do... I hear you... complaining? I... highly doubt... I'll get an easy... one. Rather... one who will... make... me pass out... every time they... open their mouth." For all she commented on Talonstone's lack of speech she did quite appreciate the quiet demeanor of the tom. But didn't everyone? And then the talk when back to their nest and Doetuft was almost tempted to request to go back to camp and start... doing whatever it was he wanted to do with it. But, first off, she didn't want to ruin his enjoyment he was having here in the stream and two, it wouldn't be good to fix a nest while still soaking wet from water. "You... had the choice.. to be not... laid upon and instead... being the one... lying upon... someone else." Although she would probably be crushed but... if it did really bother him she wouldn't mind giving up the nest. "I... do not mind... expanding it. Nor... do I mind not having... space. Your choice." In truth she didn't mind either. It was the honest truth and it left all the decisions up to Talonstone. To do exactly what he wanted to do. Because she didn't mind either way. And just as she'd finished her thoughts about something that for once didn't focus around water, a wave splashed over her. And it was large enough to fall directly over her head and neck and ears and it left the molly's fur spiking before she turned around, huffed and went back to the bank, but with water in her ears and her senses extremely disorientated she in actuality just waded further out towards the white tom. "Can't... balance... can't... hear... can't see... will drown," she muttered on her breath.

[nocturnal]

@Arie

There was something amusing about watching Doetuft flounder around in water. Not to be rude or sardonic, etcetera, of course. Most cats claimed that only riverdwellers liked water, or should have anything to do with the life-giving liquid, but Talonstone disagreed, obviously. He had no roots to the clan that lived by the sea; his blood was strictly made of thunder and lightning. That was... strange, actually. Doetuft was a former thundercat, also. Was she a pureblood thundercat like him or did she have foreign blood mixed in? Either way, he doubted that she had a shadowcat heritage. Should they ever have kits... which was a long way away; he wasn't completely sure why he was even pondering over this... but should they have kits and presuming that things stayed the way they currently were, said kits wouldn't have a drop of shadowcat blood, despite their parents having been a member of the clan since their apprenticeship, and despite the fact that the kits would likely be born on shadowcat territory. Once again, this was completely theoretical... because truthfully, the tom wasn't even sure what Doetuft meant to him at the moment. Yes, he... enjoyed being with her, but they were only slightly closer than the closest of friends. The thought of being mates felt seasons away, should it end up happening. But he digressed. Today, or at least this moment, was not the time to be contemplating the future. He was supposed to be teaching Doetuft to swim, starting with helping get over her general fear of large bodies of water. As of right now, it seemed to be going fairly well. Doetuft was standing in the stream and trying to drown him, judging from the impressively large waves that they were flinging at one another... or perhaps they were both trying to drown each other, actually. It was a bit difficult to tell. Cocking his head at Doetuft ever so slightly, the warrior made a note of that - that she appreciated him voicing his thoughts. He had many thoughs, most of them being fleeting observations; it would be pointless and a pain to voice them all. He'd sound a bit like Lionpaw if he tried, in his opinion, rambling like the incessant chatterings of a hyper squirrel. Talonstone looked over Doetuft carefully, looking for any clues as to hint what that unfinished thought could possibly be. He found nothing and dismissed his curiosity, although some of it still lingered, interested in the words that would never be said. A tinge of amusement rang through him as the tabby molly took another step or two towards him. She was getting closer... not awfully close, of course; he was standing and the water was lapping at his neck. It would likely be close to overtaking Doetuft's head, should she be standing where he was. The tom let out a quiet huff. Yes, it was nice to know that Doetuft enjoyed speaking with him... not even he himself knew whether or not that had been meant to be sarcastic. Talonstone's tail twitched at Doetuft's seemingly lost tongue, but it was strange. The action was slowed down, simply because his tail was underwater, and water happened to be more difficult to slash through than air. So the she-cat was expecting a troublesome apprentice? Most apprentices were in the beginning, only to mature after their first raid. A taste of life was what cats needed, and pain made for an excellent wake-up call. The sharper the sting, the better; clans would be hopeless if the majority of their warriors lived in a fantasy. Now they were moving back onto the topic of nests and sleeping arrangements. "I would crush you," Talonstone responded bluntly at the remark. "I would prefer for you not to die of suffocation." It would be an embarrassing way to die, being squashed to the stars by the cat... that was slightly more than one's friend. As for the plans concerning their nest; "We will expand it, just a bit. So that there is enough room for one to leave without bothering the other." The white warrior wasn't sure about the grey-brown molly, but he tended to wake often in the middle of the night. Sometimes, he would have to pace or stand... and he didn't want to accidentally wake his slumbering nest-mate in the process of shifting about. Talonstone stood in vague confusion when Doetuft started towards him after being hit by the wave. While his hearing was nowhere as sensitive as that of the molly, he was still able to pick up some of the words that she muttered under her breath. It seemed... that he had effectively found a way to disorient her. How troublesome. The tom had two choices now; he could either correct the lost tabby or leave her be... and he chose the latter. She wouldn't be swept away; he trusted that as a fact, and Talonstone would warn her before the water went high enough to reach the bottom of her muzzle. How else would he coax the warrior into the depths of the stream? As soon as she was made aware of her position, she would likely bolt back to dry land.

[Arie]

-- @bmkmb --

Why couldn't hearing like... help her in the water? That was the main question that rummaged through Doetuft's head as the tabby molly was struggling to regain her sense of direction, the water flowing in her ears, all sounds flowing together. It was... not comfortable. And in a way it just scared her more than anything ever had in her life. Originally it had just been annoyance that had flowed through her but as she waded further around in the water, for the first time in her life feeling completely blinded with lack of any senses - considering she was panicking so much she couldn't focus her other remaining senses on what was happening at this very moment. This left her overthinking why the hell she was even there, why had she agreed to go out into the water in the first place? The stress was washing over her... more than it ever had before in a situation along with Snowflake. Usually those situations were quite free of stress and nothing burdened her but somehow this... this was horrible and she didn't know what to do to stop it. It almost reminded her of her dreams but this... this wasn't a dream. This was reality. It was her life. And it felt like a living and breathing nightmare. Of course the panicking was exaggerating everything, every feeling every splash of water against her fur and everything that was going on. It'd not meant to turn out this way, that she was aware of but she couldn't help the panicked mumble, "going... to drown... all alone." Doetuft had no intention of drowning but it seemed... unless she somehow made the way over to the bank that it would be her fate. By now she could feel the water reaching her neck... and the water was pulling on her wounds and it was slowly grinding into them. It hurt. But the hurt... the hurt helped ground her if not just a little bit. Just a little bit she didn't know she needed and although the haze of the panic had yet to leave, at least it was better, just by a tiny bit. And a teeny bit better was always better than no improvement at all. But she'd lost all orientation of where things stopped and and started.. and it was terrifying. She was still doing her best to push towards the bank but paused... she paused as she felt the water reach her neck. How had she come this far out? Where was the bank, where was the bank? It settled in her head that by no means was she ever to go out into a river despite the encouragement to it. However she took in a deep breath as she paused, reflecting on his words before the panic had set in. Enough space to leave without bothering each other... what if she wanted to be bothered? What if she wanted to know when he left their nest? What if she... wanted to know what was bothering him when he did leave it? It was all very interesting to her and she made a self conscious rule that she would lie next to him so that she would be aware of when he did ever leave. Yet nevertheless she couldn't fully dismiss the panic that was still so very clearly rushing through her body at this moment. The water, she could feel it at her neck... where was he? Where was Snowflake? He'd told her he would keep her safe... keep her from drowning and Doetuft couldn't help but feel like a little kit... like a young apprentice who'd walked too far. It reminded her of her nursery time... when she'd walked further out of the nursery than she'd done the day before and were therefore unable to find her way back to the safety of the bramble walls back in Thunderclan. This wasn't memories she wanted to relieve, her kithood had been every level of terrible. "Snowflake... where are you," she mumbled, her voice nearing that high pitch of a kits wail despite her stutter. She wanted safety... she wanted to go out of this stream, wanted to go back to where she would have stable ground under her paws where she wasn't at risk of imminent death and where she at least had a chance to learn something. "Snowflake?" she called out once again, her body beginning now to shake from the panic and fear that was rushing through her. How could he tolerate this? How could he like this water? Yeah... she had liked it when she wasn't nearly drowning. When she had all her senses at hand... but she didn't. "Snowflake... where are.. you?" She needed him... needed to get out of this... needed his help. And most of all she needed the safety, the comfort that his presence brought her. He was... safe. And she just had to find him.

[nocturnal]

@Arie

Despite his confidence that Doetuft wouldn't be harmed during their strange swimming lesson, the frosty warrior found that he couldn't take his eyes off of the grey-brown tabby. Just in case, he told himself. The waters were calm and not dangerous at all, but what is a hawk swooped down and tried to attack the wading molly? He couldn't have that happen. No, Talonstone was not worried. He was not. Because he trusted that Doetuft, disoriented as she was, still had enough sense to stop walking and think about what he had told her earlier about how to tell which direction was which in water. But no, the other warrior simply continued wading into deeper waters and Talonstone was tempted to bang his head into a tree. More or less luckily for him, there were no trees or other hard objects in the center of the stream. The frosty tom could guess why Doetuft was ignoring his instructions. Either she had forgotten them, didn't understand them, or was just plain panicking and ignoring them. The molly's facial expression didn't really do much to tell Talonstone which one of the three it was. Out of the possible choices, he didn't know which one would be worse. Instead of going to help - Doetuft wasn't in any danger yet; perhaps she could still come to her senses soon - the fluffy tom was drawn back into his earliest memory of a river. He recalled the sting of cuts littering the skin beneath his fur; he remembered how it had felt to be ruthlessly shoved. The initial shock and pain had soon evolved into a panic; the frigid leafbare waters had stolen his breath for a few seconds. His fur was waterproof, yes, but that did nothing to protect against the sheer cold and the chunks of ice that drifted too close to him for comfort. By the time that he had washed to shore, he had been half-dead and needed to be brought back to camp between the jaws of Stormgorse, no less. The foolish apprentice though that running on a frozen river would be fun, the excuse that time was. The honorable Stormgorse jumped in to save his apprentice. No cat had questioned why his mentor's fur wasn't wet; no cat had disagreed with the claim. Anger bubbled up beneath Talonstone's fur. Looking back moons later, he could recall just how weasel-faced his first mentor was. But this... wasn't the time for that. The tom blinked, bringing himself to the present again. And he... didn't know what to do anymore. If he were a good cat, he would help the tabby, but she needed to learn. But if she was actually panicking, was it worth it? He recalled his own fears from months ago, but there was a large difference between the two situations. First off, it was the middle of leafbare and no one was in danger of freezing to death. The water was quite warm, so any temperature issues were resolved. Secondly, Doetuft had someone to watch over her just in case. The apprentice from back then hadn't had that and it had made things so much worse. Yet... very few cats deserved to be forced to face their fears so harshly. Doetuft wasn't an naive apprentice who needed a taste at life; the tabby warrior was fully aware that the world wasn't perfect. His indecision was going to cost him something, Talonstone was aware, but he was still stuck. He wanted nothing more than to get Doetuft out of the water because she looked truly miserable in the stream. He evaded his gaze from the molly for just a second, but had to bring it back when he heard her call his name. It was like a kit calling for its mother. He was pathetic for being tempted to answer the call, but he couldn't help it. And the calls... just kept repeating themselves. Giving up on his restraint, the warrior crossed the distance between him and Doetuft in three large, definitely not distraught strides. He walked into the molly, tucking her head into his chest and preventing her from walking any further. Talonstone felt... guilty. Doetuft felt warm pressed against him, or perhaps he was the one sharing all the warmth. He was the one whose inner fur was still dry, after all. The tom wanted to say something... I'm here, or possibly apologize for his hesitancy, but the words escaped him before he could even open his maw. Needing to do something to reassure the tabby of his presence, however, the fluffy tom rested his head on Doetuft's before proceeding to lick her on the head. Later, it would remind him of a leader's role during certain ceremonies and the interactions between parent and kit, but for now, the warrior could care less. He didn't even care that he had initiated not just one, but three physical interactions in that short period of time. None of it mattered at this moment. None of it mattered as long as he was still with his Doetuft.

[Arie]

-- @bmkmb --

He was there… he’d found her. Doetuft couldn’t help the relieved sigh as she felt his fur press around her face and she practically threw her head into his chest. He was there… he was here with her. She wasn’t going to drown; she wasn’t going to sink… and it helped stem the panic. Not by a whole lot… but it took the edge off. He was… warm. He was safe. He was everything that she wasn’t in this moment. He could swim… could take care of them both in this situation; Snowflake could do everything she couldn’t in this situation. He was warm, offered her a sense of comfort and safety. And it couldn’t ever be repaid. The shaking slowly started to stem, to slow and she could feel the tears press against her eyes as she just tucked her head ever closer to his chest. The wet but warm fur was better… better than fearing for walking into deeper waters. How did she thank him? How would she thank him from coming to her aid? The fact that he’d not come sooner, had in theory let her almost drown… it didn’t matter. It would matter, but not at this moment. In this moment what mattered was the fact that he was here. He was here with her and she’d not drowned. She’d not drowned because of him, because he’d been there for her. However, Doetuft was even more shocked to not soon after feeling his head rest on hers and the molly’s tears too started to stem. It seemed… it seemed when he was here everything just got easier, got easier to bear every burden she carried, everything that felt heavy on her back and she… she needed this. It was peaceful… in its own horribly morbid way, to stand here, in the stream, the panic still evident in her harsh breathing that seemed to struggle to calm down even despite the contact with Talonstone. Despite the contact, despite his very best efforts to clam her, it still seemed like she was a pawn in the panic’s game. Like she was someone who was being manipulated by the panic…unable to settle down, to rest even though he was here. Even though he was standing next to her, with her. It was the lick on the forehead that could be said was the healing factor… it was what helped her the most. And she couldn’t help the small whimper that left her as she lifted her head to bump it slightly against his before returning it to being tucked against his chin and chest. The water that was rushing through her fur at this moment didn’t matter, the water whose pull she could feel against her smaller and lighter body didn’t matter. Not right now. Not here… not now. “Thank…you,” she mumbled. She knew she should be angry, should be yelling, should demand to return to the shore, but… she didn’t have the energy. Panic was exhausting, it was draining, it was everything she didn’t want to deal with but she was. And it did leave her feeling empty, feeling just… tired of it. Tired of the shaking, of the worries of drowning, of the fear that still rummaged through her. She appreciated the support he gave. Sighing she shifted herself, despite the continuous pull of the water against her fur and body, so that she was now nearly curling the entirety of herself against him. Not just her head any longer but her neck, her shoulder her hind legs tucked up underneath her. This was what being safe was like. “It’s… okay.” He might be there for her but she knew his mind had a tendency to wander. Had a tendency not to stay in the present – not that she didn’t do the same – but she was focused on the now. And she needed to keep him focused on the now too. Or he would start over thinking, would start feeling a horrible sense of guilt that she knew, with someone like her Snowflake, could only be detrimental to his health and self-conscious. This hurt, more than anyone of them wanted to admit but she needed to let him know that this was okay. That this wasn’t his fault. Not that it wasn’t his fault… because in one way or another, it was. But that wasn’t the point, the point was that she was okay. Because he HAD been there. He had not been absent had not left her to drown, he hadn’t gone away. Snowflake had been there… and she knew full well that others wouldn’t. That even her own blood and flesh most likely wouldn’t be there. She had proof of that even. Although that proof was the sole memory of her parents death and only she knew the truth, it was still a proof of how she’d been forsaken by people promising to protect her. “Thank you,” she mumbled once again, voice partially muffled by his own fur that she was still tucked tight against. Was this how their otherwise amusing and well… in truth fun day, would end? Her panicked and Snowflake trying to make up for something that wasn’t his fault? She would be lying if she said that was what she wanted. Because all her fear of the water itself had washed away as she was here… with him. Because despite the fact that he’d said he’d never let her drown… now he’d demonstrated it and she believed him. She just had to stay close enough for him to actually be in range should she ever end up being washed down stream. And so, something that should logically have traumatized her, should’ve made her more afraid… it did make her more afraid, but… not entirely. Here she was residing. In the water. The water that by now reached over her shoulders, but she was in it. And she wasn’t afraid. There was no feeling of absolute terror... because he was here with her. It drew on the thoughts that he would be here with her if she was ever to attempt something like this again. Why would she ever attempt something like this? Not on her own will, nor alone. But if he was there… and not a fox length away this time… she could be convinced, that she was sure of. Nevertheless, she pushed her face into Talonstone’s fur before, blinking the still remaining tears out of her eyes. She wanted to look up, to see his face but as it was she could not. Should they get out? Should they stay? Voicing it, voice muffled by his fur but also quiet and shaky from the emotions and panic, “What…should we do? Where… is the shore? Unless… you want to… stay here. I do… not mind. As long… as you do not... leave me.” Was she limiting him? Yeah… she was. But unless she was back on the shore, she wouldn’t feel comfortable in the stream on her own again. Doetuft was strong… she knew that. But everyone had their weaknesses, had their weak moments… had their fears. And this was most certainly one of hers. You couldn’t be strong all the time. It was okay to break.

[nocturnal]

@Arie

It was warm... no, not really. The water around him wasn't cold, but it wasn't an ideal blanket, either. The molly who was pressed against his chest was soaking wet, which was completely his fault... this entire situation was his fault, wasn't it? It was the white-furred warrior who had brought them to the stream in the first place; it was him who had convinced the grey-brown she-cat to follow him into the slow-moving rivulet. It was him who had splashed the molly first, who had disoriented her. The water wasn't the more dangerous thing around here. It was him. Talonstone could feel the guilt slowly seeping into his mind, clouding his thoughts with the negative emotion. It wasn't healthy, he was aware, but he deserved it, didn't he? When he was with Doetuft, he was happy... guardians, that sounded much too positive for his liking. When he was with Doetuft, he felt content; now that was much better. The tabby's presence forced him to relax, and it came to his realization that he hadn't thought about the curse in moons... no wonder this trip had to go wrong. The wrongness was actually overdue by a halfmoon or two. But the negativity was soon chased away by an overwhelming sense of relief; for what reason, Talonstone didn't know because the molly had never been in danger in the first place. It was near impossible for a cat to drown in such a calm body of water, moving or not, and he had been keeping his eyes on the feline at all times. Disoriented and panicked, yes, but not hurt or in danger of being harmed. The only thing that could've possibly hurt her was if sn eagle had come screeching from the sky. That hadn't happened and they were safe. Doetuft was pressed against him; she was cold and he was just a bit warmer, but they were both still here and both alive... and for guardians' sake, Talonstone wasn't sure where this unreasonable worry was coming from. He had never been one to fret before, being a fairly confident cat and all. Even during the early stages of his apprenticeship, he had dreaded it, but he had always accepted whatever was thrown out at him. It was possible to fear without worrying, to be scared without outwardly panicking. But fear and worry were two different things. When the weasel had made his move, Talonstone had feared for his friend. He hadn't worried about him; he never did. Out of sight, out of mind was effective for the most part. It had been a coping method, because who wanted to dwell on what happened during a training session? The only downside to living strictly in the present was that positive thoughts rarely existed when he truly needed it. Although his overall view on life had been gradually improving since he met Doetuft. It was strange how much of an impact that even one friend - slightly more than friend - could make. And then Doetuft whimpered and the frosty tom felt the guilt poor into his chest once more. It was an internal battle; the warmth of relief against the drowning pull of guilt. The feelings churned inside of him, mixing into something unrecognizable. It made Talonstone want to curl up and stop trying because things would be so much easier in oblivion, but he didn't. He couldn't give up; such a thought fired up his blood. Forced him to keep fighting. Because if he gave up now, what had been the point of living in the first place? He had been given hundreds of chances to die; the fact that he never gave into any of them must've meant something. I'm sorry, the warrior wanted to say. You're welcome. But when his maw moved, no sound came out, other than a strange combination of a strangled laugh, a choke, an apologetic noise, and a whimper. Talonstone couldn't help but cringe upon hearing himself. At least it was an accurate reflection of his feelings at the moment, he accepted wrly. Since his voice seemed to be refusing to work at the moment, he simply continued to rest his head on top of the molly's, which landed against her neck as they managed to shift positions. It's okay, the tabby's words echoed through his mind, but was it? No, it wasn't okay. They were okay, but they weren't at the same time. Either way, it was his fault, and he mentally went through the reasons why once more. As his mind recited the reasons, the large feline grew a bit self-conscious of himself and where he was. Of how the water soothingly drifted around him through his fur, of how there was total silent barring the quiet sounds of nature. Talonstone made an effort to pace his breathing, which was going a bit faster than he would have preferred. Once again, Doetuft thanked him, and frankly, the frosty warrior doubted that he deserved it. He had been too slow, too indecisive. He could have prevented the panic altogether, but for whatever reason, he had decided not to. He was a fool, too preoccupied with comparing himself to Doetuft for him to recognize that they were different - learned effectively differently. Forcing the molly would do nothing to help her, and he had been lizardbrained to think otherwise, although some cats might've be proud of his attempted teaching style. All the wrong cats. Talonstone listened to Doetuft speak, her voice muffled through his fur. It was shaky, to which the tom readily took the blame for. Obviously, he had shaken the grey-brown molly greatly, perhaps even more than the event had shaken him... no, what was he thinking? There was no 'perhaps' to that; he hadn't been the one experiencing the fear throughout all that. He did know how it felt, however; that sensation of almost drowning. Of believing that he was going to be dragged beneath the blue, never to return while still alive. What should they do next? Talonstone had had enough water for one day. It was still perfectly relaxing, the stream, but the memories were too strong at the moment. Besides, Doetuft probably wanted to leave, too. And so, "We are leaving," the shadowcat decided firmly. He stood up and rested his tail on Doetuft's back so that she could get an idea of his positioning, then began to step towards the bank. Once they dried up after a bit, they could collect sticks to renovate that nest of theirs.