WindClan Clearing

[MrWolfu]

~ Spiderdusk ~
[ 23 moons ; he/him ; male (ftm) ]
[ @IDIOTICBEAN101 ]


Spiderdusk padded into the clearing, ear flicking silently. He looked up at his sister, some sort of frown on his muzzle. He'd always been sort of..Well, unhappy. Especially given their circumstances, Spiderdusk was always the stranger cat of the bunch. Was it because of their trauma? Was it because he didn't feel comfortable in clan life? The reason was hard to tell, but either way, he wasn't a normal cat.

He sat across from Scorpionsight, giving a small meow in greeting.

[Idiotic.Bean101]

Scorpionsight-She/Her


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Scorpionsight perked up a bit when her brother sat across from her, smiling.
“Hi Spiderdusk.” She said in a more enthusiastic tone “How’s your day been so far?”
She was just hoping he was feeling alright and such.


@MrWolfu

[MrWolfu]

~ Spiderdusk ~
[ 23 moons ; he/him ; male (ftm) ]
[ @IDIOTICBEAN101 ]


Spiderdusk looked up at his sister, giving a half-hearted shrug. "I'm..Alive," He muttered back with a slight laugh. "No, yeah, I'm okay. My day has been fine. What about yours?"

[TheNyanCatMinecart]

~ TWISTEDPAW OF WINDCLAN ~

AFAB | SHE/HER | APPRENTICE | 16 MOONS | NO PURRKS

Small, skinny, black she-cat with a light gray belly and tail-tip, a mangled tail, a crooked jaw, and one blind eye.

Twistedpaw's working eye flitted from Vinepaw to Honeychatter and back again, back and forth, forth and back. She couldn't see them both fully with her vision partially cut off, but she didn't want to continually swing her head from side to side to match her rapid eye movements. She felt jittery with anxiety, though her body remained sprawled out in the sunshine, stable apart from the slight shift of her legs as they curled ever-so-slightly closer to her skinny frame. Her light gray tail-tip twitched at a slightly slower pace than her eye.

What do they think of me now? she wondered. Did I mess something up? They'd acted so kind and friendly and non-judgmental, but Twistedpaw was still terrified that one slip-up would turn them against her, make them notice the imperfections she'd been born with, despite her previous confidence. I want to be myself... but... I don't know... It was confusing, navigating all these unfamiliar cats with no idea of how they thought and viewed her. She wanted to be liked. She wanted them to accept her for who she was, as she'd learned to accept herself. But they might not. And the thought was really, really scary. Painful. Like claws had been shoved into her chest.

So far, the conversation was normal. Vinepaw confirmed that he'd just returned from training - battle training, Twistedpaw realized at the mention of Rabbitpaw's intensity. At first, the thought surprised her; then she figured, Even tunnelers need to know how to fight. Who knows what creatures they might encounter down there? And they need to be there for their Clan when they go into battle. Her surprise, she now knew, was silly. Twistedpaw felt a flash of embarrassment, but it was quickly swamped by yet another thought of the upcoming fight with RiverClan. A brief chill cut through the sunshine drenching her pelt. She was acutely aware of the way the grass brushed against her scarred stomach. I... I really hope we don't lose anybody. And I need to learn more fighting moves. So I can defend myself and my Clan. Battle was scary, but Twistedpaw knew she had to endure it. Even if she was more at risk because some considered her... wrong.

She was surprised when Cedarfrost's voice played in her head instead of Willowsky's.

"We're not stopping here, bunny. HAVE FUN."

Honeychatter's excited babbling broke into the overaged apprentice's thoughts, cutting off the haunting echo of Cedarfrost's sadistic purr. She exhaled a quiet sigh of relief. The air whistled oddly over her large tooth. Honeychatter was greeting Vinepaw warmly, running off on a tangent about greenleaf. Twistedpaw felt herself relax just a tad. Their attention wasn't on her, thank StarClan...

 

...that is, until Honeychatter replied to her previous remark. Twistedpaw winced. It's my fault. She shouldn't have let her tongue slip so carelessly. Why was it, when something bothered her or was on her mind... why did it come out of her mouth? She used to be good at keeping quiet. Because Willowsky told me to. She nipped me if I spoke. Then I was too scared to say anything for a really long time.

As Twistedpaw had gained confidence, she'd gained something else: a voice. She wasn't as afraid to speak anymore. Which, she realized... was a good thing. Mostly. There were times when she needed to stay quiet - like her outburst at Cowtuft's exile - but there were many others when she deserved to be heard. When she should speak. Which category did the RiverClan slip-up fall into? She wasn't entirely sure. I didn't want to bring it up, but I did anyway. I don't want to think about it... but it happened. Like my past. It hurts, but I don't want to be ashamed of it. But that doesn't mean I have to talk about it if I don't want to... right? Unless it's important? Which it hadn't been in this case, but she'd been sharing her experience...

"Yes, it was scary," she meowed quietly, warding off her confusing thoughts with a simple response. Her long claws unsheathed and dug into the lush green grass, releasing a wave of its fresh scent into the warm air. It helped ground her, helped her come back from the terror of the moment.

But now it was time to confront yet another fear: her worries of what these two thought of her little outburst of compliments and confusion. Of her bringing attention to the way she looked. Once again, Twistedpaw didn't want to be ashamed. She shouldn't be. Her loved ones always told her not to. She'd learned not to. Yet she knew from experience that there were many who would rather her be normal, nice, and neat. Many who despised her for what she looked like and who would only get worse if attention was brought to it. Nice cats could become hateful. She didn't want to think that about Vinepaw and Honeychatter because they seemed so nice, but Willowsky had gone so insane, and what if, what if...

...huh?

Twistedpaw lifted her head, having not realized that she'd ducked it to hide her face. Her crooked jaw dangled as she turned to look at Vinepaw. She blinked at him, mismatched eyes - one clear and blue-gray, the other a cloudy swirl of pale-gray-and-white - briefly disappearing behind black lids. Twisty? At first, she was worried it might be an insult, but Vinepaw's eyes were shining, and he had a warm look on his face that reminded her of Cowtuft. A nickname...? She'd... Well, no one had ever given her a nickname before. Not even her closest friends.

But Vinepaw wasn't done talking.

"I think you're really cool, too, and I would like to be your friend. I know you probably don't have much longer as an apprentice, but I would love to be with you on your journey, although I may be more in the tunnels than aboveground."

Twistedpaw could only stare at Vinepaw, her eyes stretching wide. Pure emotion welled in her chest until it felt like it would spill over, its force making her dizzy despite its weight. She... she hadn't been expecting him to say anything kind back. Not that he wasn't a nice cat - he was very considerate - but... despite the encouragement she'd gotten from her friends and adopted family, she'd still expected her Clanmates' first thoughts to be of, at least, hesitance. Perhaps distaste or disgust, like Swiftfire. Or maybe just a polite, simple interaction. Not this. A pledge of friendship, of loyalty. It wasn't as if the black she-cat hadn't experienced such kindness, but... she just hadn't expected... it was so sweet, so encouraging...

Honeychatter's exclamation caused Twistedpaw to turn toward the beautiful cat. Her white-and-yellow face was one of pure joy, mismatched eyes glowing with shock and excitement at the compliment. It made Twistedpaw so happy to see her happy. She liked making other cats happy. Which made coping with her deformities and the pain they brought harder.

But there was no pain, not here. Not as Honeychatter called her nice and... and...

Pretty.

The emotion Twistedpaw had felt at Vinepaw's declaration spilled over. She felt so full of it that she was choking, her lungs full. No one... no one... had called her pretty. And it was something she never would've dared describe herself with. Because, even though she knew she shouldn't be hated for the way she looked... she should accept it... she wasn't pretty. Not by anyone's standards. She was ugly.

But... but Honeychatter, the prettiest cat Twistedpaw knew to date, didn't think so. Buzz also thought she was brave. And tough.

Anyone who thought she wasn't wasn't jealous. They... they just couldn't cope with the way she looked. Which was wrong, but a sad reality. But these cats... these Clanmates she'd previously been so afraid of... they were saying such nice things, and they were so kind, and they thought she was brave and tough and cool and they wanted to be with her and they thought she was nice and they thought all these kind things and...

Twistedpaw began to sob profusely, her emotions spilling out in fat tears that poured from her eyes and soaked into the sweet-smelling grass. Her small, skinny body shook and heaved, her crooked jaw splaying to the side as she buried her face in the ground and sobbed. Her nose ran freely; various areas of her mangled tail twitched. Her stomach scars twinged ever-so-slightly, but she didn't care.

It was just... so much. In a good way. Their kindness, their support, all coming from cats she barely knew... it was overwhelming for the poor apprentice. But she was so happy. So surprised. So emotional.

@Tallstar @furrensic (I promise Twistedpaw will clear things up in her next post! Dw, she'll make sure Vine and Honey know that they didn't upset her haha)

[Idiotic.Bean101]

Scorpionsight-She/Her


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“It’s been alright.” Scorpionsight answered “I’m still having trouble adjusting to the whole… clan thing..”
Had the life before really been that bad?
There were so many cats in the clans..


@MrWolfu

[MrWolfu]

~ Spiderdusk ~
| 23 moons ; he/him ; male (ftm) |
[ @IDIOTICBEAN101 ]


"Oh." Spiderdusk took in a deep breath. "Yeah. Okay, it's..A lot, I guess. I get it." He looked down at his paws, which he shuffled briefly. "..You're not thinking of leaving, right?"

[Idiotic.Bean101]

Scorpionsight-She/Her


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“No! ..no, I would never leave unless you came with me, it’s just…” The bengal looked away “Was it… so bad…?”
Stupid question.
Right?
But…
She wasn’t sure.


@MrWolfu

[MrWolfu]

~ Spiderdusk ~
| 23 moons ; he/him ; male (ftm) |
[ @IDIOTICBEAN101 ]


Almost instantly, he felt his fur stand on end. How could his sister ask such a thing? Was it so bad? It had only scarred them as kits, of course it was bad! He needed to stay calm...


"Yes, it was.." He said quietly, letting out a breath.

[Idiotic.Bean101]

Scorpionsight-She/Her


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Scorpionsight looked down “Right, yeah… but… maybe they had their reasons?” She suggested quietly.
Twolegs were mysteries anyway, right?


@MrWolfu

[MrWolfu]

~ Spiderdusk ~
| 23 moons ; he/him ; male (ftm) |
[ @IDIOTICBEAN101 ]


He shook his head, finally looking back up at his sibling. "No reason could possibly be good enough for what they did...You're being.." He glanced to the side, biting his tongue before he said anything he'd regret.