Well, I'll just keep on making the same mistakes[P]

**Crown_Sage** · #1 November 10th, 2024, 11:08 PM

Hawkkit stalker into the nursery, a tear running down his cheek. Why didn't Fernpaw understand that he was lucky? Nothing was fair anymore. All his littermates were splitting apart and he didn't know who to trust anymore. He climbed into his shared nest, but couldn't sleep. Hawkkit whimpered softly, wishing his father were there.
@Luna16

**Luna16** · #2 November 11th, 2024, 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crown_Sage

Hawkkit stalker into the nursery, a tear running down his cheek. Why didn't Fernpaw understand that he was lucky? Nothing was fair anymore. All his littermates were splitting apart and he didn't know who to trust anymore. He climbed into his shared nest, but couldn't sleep. Hawkkit whimpered softly, wishing his father were there.
@Luna16

Songkit approached her brother slowly, glancing over her shoulder to where Ferretkit and their mother were still speaking. Being away from Ferretkit filled her with anxiety, but she was the only sister here now. Rabbitkit disappeared around the same time as their father, she couldn't stay being the meager sister that she was. I...I have to be strong. For all my brothers. Looking at her paws and taking a deep breath to try and steady her heart, Songkit padded forward.

Stepping into the nest behind Hawk-kit, she stroked her brother's back with her tail in hopes to offer him comfort. Licking him between the ears. "I-It'll be okay, Hawk-kit." She murmured. Truth be told, she wasn't sure if she could help him. Hawk-kit was always looking for attention from Momma more than anycat else. But she had to try! She couldn't bare to see her lively brother like this!

**Crown_Sage** · #3 November 11th, 2024, 11:00 PM

No it won't! Hawkkit wailed, leaning against his sister. He knew it wasn't fair to her, to have to be there for him in a time like this. He should be looking after her. After all, he was older than her by a bit. But he just couldn't. Not right now. I-I'm S-sorry, Songkit. He croaked, the words barely slipping out. His throat was raw from crying, so he stopped, tears still dripping down his cheek. I can't... I mean... I shouldn't have... It's not fair! He murmured, starting to cry again. His tears dripped into her fur, and his eyes widened. I didn't mean to! He apologized, hiccuping.
@Luna16

**Luna16** · #4 November 13th, 2024, 09:04 PM

Songkit was taken off guard by Hawk-kit's response, but more so because he felt bad about having his emotions. She licked his ear and let him lean against her, wrapping her tail around him as much as she could. "I-It's okay brother, you don't have to apologize." She murmured, licking his ear again. "I think...life really isn't meant to be fair, ya know? If it was fair...we wouldn't struggle with things like leaf-bare, hunger, and sickness."

Or missing fathers and sisters...

She wasn't trying to be depressed herself, or bring Hawk-kit down any further. So she shook herself off. She needed to step up with Rabbitkit gone. "But...we don't struggle alone. We have each other! And that...makes it better I think." Did she help? She glanced over at her brother, offering him a small, warm smile.

**Crown_Sage** · #5 November 14th, 2024, 02:57 PM

With this, Hawkkit accepted. He let out one last hiccup before burrying himself in Songkit's warm fur. Ok, Songkit. He purred, his head throbbing. I'll be with you, always, even at the end. The end. Had his father's life came to an end? Was he still out there? Hawkkit shook off the thought. No. He told himself firmly. He had to be strong for father. For his siblings. For his mother.
@Luna16

**Luna16** · #6 Today, 08:50 PM

Songkit tried to provide a comforting, soft purr. Licking her brother between the ears. She tried not to think about how dark and grim Hawk-kit's words really were. The end? She didn't want to think about it...she was still holding onto hope that Lionscar and Rabbitkit were okay. "Don't worry about the end right now." She murmured, licking her brother's head gently once more. "We're about to be apprentices! Let's try to focus on that...on the here and now."

She wanted to focus on the cats who were here, rather than spend her days fretting over cats who were not. With any luck, Rabbitkit and Lionscar were together, wherever they were. And would be able to look out for each other. "No matter how much it hurts..." She murmured absent-mindedly. She didn't even notice she had said her thoughts outloud. She knew what she was suggesting wasn't easy, to go on living their lives. But they had to. They owed it to themselves, Heathernose, each other, the clan...they simply had to move forward. She could feel her little chest swell with grief at the thought. They would become 'paws, but Rabbitkit would...would stay a 'kit. At least, until she comes home.

**Crown_Sage** · #7 Today, 09:20 PM

No matter how much it hurts. As soon as Hawkkit heard these words, he thought he might burst into tears again, but he stopped himself. He had been through so much pain already in the short amount of time he had lived. Not physical pain, but mental. And that hurt more. Was he supposed to just forget about his father and sister, and to just move on? Just ignore the pain and focus on himself? No. He told himself firmly. He needn't focus on himself, he didn't care about himself. Not anymore. It was all about Songkit, his brothers, and his mother. He had to protect them. He looked up after a long pause, meeting his sister's bright, comforting eyes. What about you, Songkit? He mewed ever so faintly, so that even he could barely hear himself. How will you get over this? His real question was, How could he look after every single one of them?
@Luna16

**Luna16** · #8 Today, 09:34 PM

Songkit looked at brother with a thoughtful gaze. What would mother or Rabbitkit say? She wanted to make sure she gave him a good answer. It was moments like these that could potentially shape their futures, and she didn't want to have a bad influence on him. Looking at her own paws timidly, some of her sudden confidence leaking away for a moment as she considered her words. Then she looked back up at him, her eyes saddened but sure. "I don't...think we'll ever really get over them." She admitted, laying her tail across his shoulders.

"I think we have to keep moving forward. And over time...we'll learn to live again." As the words tumbled out, she wasn't sure if what she was saying made any sense at all. It was how she truly felt though, and wanted to share her feelings with her brother. She didn't want to pretend to be somecat that she wasn't. She wasn't wise or strong like her father, and she wasn't brash and out-spoken like Rabbitkit. She was Songkit. Quiet, thoughtful, timid. She was their only sister now though, she couldn't risk allowing her shyness to become a burden on everycat. "B-But," she looked back up at her brother, "we have each other! As long as we stick together, I really think we'll be okay. In time."

**Crown_Sage** · #9 Today, 09:52 PM

TW: some use of suicidal thoughts
Hawkkit sighed. I guess you're right. I'm going to be okay. But he wasn't. Nothing would ever be okay. He wanted to leave this world, go somewhere that wasn't StarClan nor the Dark Forest. He wanted to die, he wanted his soul to wander into nothing. Then, he wouldn't feel pain anymore, right? Wouldn't he just dissapear? His eyes filled with sorrow and confusion. He wanted to cry, but he knew he couldn't do that in front of his sister again. You will too, promise? Hawkkit meowed, looking back at his paws.
@Luna16