ShadowClan Grimpeak

[Goldkit]

Goldkit walked and sat down in front of Shaddowledge this was her first meeting without her mother with her (mother died yesterday) she looked up at dawnstar sniffling in sadness about her mother "I hope this doesn't take long I want to go to my nest in the nursery cause its not like I have any friends anyway" she thought to herself she sniffled again, her eyes full of tears and a few tears ran down her face " oh no don't start crying in front of the whole clan" she thought again.

[Estelle]

Nightshiver
[ 60 moons | She / Her | Shc Forever Queen | Kitty Softpaws T1 ]

Sickness - figurative and not factual - had been eating away at her very being whenever the thought crossed her mind. Seeing her own reflection pained her, seeing her daughter pained her even more. Eternal reminders of what she failed to do and why she confined herself to the nursery, when leaving for just a moment should not cause this much anxiety. But the issue was that it did. If she left, she could not watch over them. If she slept, she could not watch over them. If she turned her back, she could no watch over them. She was old enough to know the anxiety that filled her mind was nowhere the truth; that sometimes these things are inevitable are they? and that she couldn't let herself keep living in this state if she wanted to take good care for those under her care.

Not only that, but her daughter had become an apprentice. It still made her heart ache to think she had to miss Lionpaw's ceremony, her darling boy, whose gaze she tried to meet with a gentle smile and small wave of her tail. He seemed to be with his new mentor, was it? She didn't want to interrupt any conversation, even if the younger looked a little disgruntled, but wanted to keep whatever ties she could have with her children alive.
[ @Rowan - Little Lion mention, no need to reply if you don't want to ]

And perhaps that was why she stood so close to the edge, a step away from penetrating the sun and leaving the den she called her home. She had a duty to the young of the clan. It was her task to ensure their well-being and safety. But she had a duty to her children just as much. She couldn't as active a mother as she wanted to be, not when her attention was forever divided between duty and personal. But she loved her children. She loved them more than anything. And if loving them overstepping her anxiety, however many alarm bells it rang, to spend just a fraction of a moment with them then she had to.

Her eyes sought out the new apprentice in the crowd, moving from Lionpaw to the newly named Fishpaw. She raised her paw, idly waving at her daughter in hopes that the apprentice would see her and come join her side, if at all possible. From the distance spoke quietly,
"Con-gra-tu-la-tions"
She mouthed for the apprentice see from wherever she was, her face a proud expression and warm with care.


[ @Spider. ]