OCEANKIT
He/Him - AMAB
((Will definitely be adding more floof and ear tufts to look more like Seab))
Oceankit is almost an exact copy of his father. Appearance wise. And similarly anxious, too. He often tends to worry too much or overthink, without even being aware. He could zone out for a fairly long time and not realise until somone is calling his name. But because of his overly nervous and worryful personality, he tends to be very kindhearted and compassionate. He cares about other cats, and hates seeing them sad. Or mad. Or anything negative, really. He wishes the best for everyone. And by everyone, he means everyone. He hates having enemies. Everyone deserves to be loved, in his opinion.
But those are just naive kit thoughts, are they not?
He is terrified of not being enough, of failing, of being disliked. But isn't everyone? Oceankit just wants to be... Enough. But he can't help but feel like he
can't make it. Perhaps if he just tried harder and harder... If he just put more and more effort in what he was doing... Then maybe, maybe he will feel like he is accepted.
Huh, funny. Of course he's accepted... Wonder why he thought that...
And how interesting! Oceankit is inconvenienced in some way. Lo and behold, he's blind. Great. His disability only fails him more, and it's like he can never feel enough. He's barely a cat. What cat can't see? Him, of course.
In the beginning, he thinks of his lack of ability to see as something normal. Of course, he doesn't know that everyone else can see. But that changes as his life progresses and he picks up on subtle hints that other
normal cats can see what's in front of them and not have to be careful every time they walk. What? So he's the freak. He can only wish he saw what they saw. In fact, he wishes he could see, period. He hates that he can't see. He hates that he has to hear about all the lovely things in life and not be able to see it. He hates himself for it. But it's not his fault. How is it his fault that he was born without the ability to see? It's not his parents' fault. They would never have known he'd be born sightless.
... It's StarClan's fault. They've cursed him.
Despite his lack of self-confidence, Oceankit loves his family dearly. He knows that they would always be with him to back him up, and that he would be there for them in return. But why is it that he feels the need to draw further from them?
... It's not like they understand him, anyway. They can all see. They don't know what life is like for him. They'll never understand.
Never.
But he can't bring himself to leave his family. They'd be sad, and he doesn't want that. He wants to be enough for them, even if it just meant... Being there. He'd do anything for his family.
Anything.
Oceankit is very trusting. So trusting in fact, he may come off as gullible. Once he starts trusting someone, it is very hard to break that trust. Even if they hurt him, or make him feel like he isn't enough, he doesn't want to give up. He wants to be enough for them, so they'll like him. Because he trusts them. With his heart.
But does he trust them enough to talk to them about his problems?
Nope.
That's the problem. He trusts them. He really trusts them. He trusts them so much, in fact, he doesn't want to burden them with his own troubles. He knows he can deal with them himself. All he needs is himself. .. And his family. He loves his family.
...
But does he open up to them?
.. Sure. It depends. He doesn't really want them to worry about something he can take care of himself, but sometimes it just gets too overwhelming. He needs to tell someone. And who listens to him better than his own family?
But the real question is, does he tell them
everything?
Oceankit doesn't have high expectations. Enough is enough for him. If he thinks it's enough, it's enough. Simple. He doesn't know why everyone expects so much more from him. Why? WHY? WHAT DO THEY WANT FROM HIM???
This only fuels his anxiety more. What if he's not enough? What if? What if he tries, but fails? What if he fails so bad that they stop liking him? What if he messes up so bad he can never show his face in RiverClan again? What if he's so bad at what he did, his family stops loving him?
He doesn't understand why everyone expects so much from a cat like him. It's
not going to be all right. How can everything by alright when he can't see what's going on? Ah. He should stop thinking so negatively about that, should he?
There are some positive things about being blind, well, in Oceankit's opinion. There are tons of excuses he can make. He can get himself out of a tough situation, and have a good excuse for it. And because of his lack of sight, he finds his other senses have sharpened. His hearing, especially.
Oceankit, despite his anxous and nervous battle inside of his head, smiles very frequently. Whether it's fake or real, he always finds the time to put on a smile. For others. For himself, too, of course, but it's mostly... To assure others. To say everything is fine.
And he's great, too. At smiling. Not once does it look forced.
... It's a good thing, really, that he actually
enjoys smiling. Sometimes, when he does smile, it feels like a weight is lifted off his shoulders. Even fake smiles end up being real.
»»———- ———-««
»»———- ———-««
Sociability: ★☆☆☆☆
Outlook: ★★☆☆☆
Responsibility: ★★★☆☆
Cleanliness: ★★★★☆
Generosity: ★★★★★
Manners: ★★★★★
Bravery: ★☆☆☆☆
More Logical or More Emotional?: A tiny bit more emotional
Favourite Season: Spring
Favourite Food(s): Trouts & sparrows (Really any type of fish)
Favourite Word: TBD
Favourite Sound: Rainfall and rivers
Greatest Hope: TBD
Greatest Strength: Great sense of hearing
Greatest Weakness: Blindness
Worst Nightmare: To never meet his true potential, to never be good enough.
Deepest Darkest Secret: TBD
Most Treasured Memory: TBD
{ @
Dolomedes | @
Cherry_Blossom }
Re: We gettin' in the RC Nursery with this one!!! [ Kit Finder ]
She has an affinity for sneaking out of camp as a younger kit, and she has adventures related to this and some mild drama including the potential to: find a pregnant queen and help her through a rough patch in her life; the fun times of finding rogues and loners alike; finding fun herbs to go present proudly to the medicine cat afterwards.
