Irisdream noticed the relief in her father’s eyes and wouldn’t deny the little sting. Was she so distant that her own kin was relieved to see a semblance of an emotional opening? She knew the answer to that, there was no need to dwell in search of an answer. She offered a small, tired smile at her father and nodded in agreement. She blinked when Blizzardoak mentioned her daughter, surprised. She had never really considered Kitepaw’s behavior in that light previously. “Honestly, I was always too afraid to get involved…” She admitted, shaking her head and staring at her paws.
She had never really spoken with Blizzardoak about this before, never opened up to him like this. But ever since that…admittedly monumental experience with Wavebreaker, Irisdream has changed drastically. She’s been more expressive, while some habits still die hard. Such as hiding such…horrific injuries from her - former? - mate and daughter. “That girl of mine…her fur is always on edge.” She meowed with a soft sigh. The motherly kind of sigh of a parent who doesn’t know what to do about their nervous wreck of a child. “But I suppose you’re right. Kitepaw certainly doesn’t hide anything about how she’s feeling.” Irisdream had to admit, this kind of…openness was refreshing.
But onward, they needed to move quickly. She needed to find this water source Dusklion mentioned before Kitepaw went looking for her. Anxious as she was, her daughter had sharp eyes. It had taken a great deal of effort to avoid her all this time. Irisdream motioned with her head for her father to follow her, honestly part of this was some kind of an excuse to talk some. They hadn’t really had the opportunity to have real one-on-one time in well…ever. Even after Pebblestorm died, she hadn’t been able to open herself up to anycat, if anything it maybe made things worse. Now, she glanced at Blizzardoak from the side, then averted her gaze. Wondering if she should mention the…incident with Wavebreaker. Blizzardoak was Wavebreaker’s former mentor after all. They shared a tight bond, and Irisdream didn’t want to strain it.
Her whiskers quivered with the stress of her indecision as they walked the area immediately around the camp, looking for somewhere private where Irisdream could finally clean up.
[ @Quietheart - are you thinking of having Wavebreaker and Kitepaw discover her in this thread or later?]
Irisdream noticed the relief in her father’s eyes and wouldn’t deny the little sting. Was she so distant that her own kin was relieved to see a semblance of an emotional opening? She knew the answer to that, there was no need to dwell in search of an answer. She offered a small, tired smile at her father and nodded in agreement. She blinked when Blizzardoak mentioned her daughter, surprised. She had never really considered Kitepaw’s behavior in that light previously. “Honestly, I was always too afraid to get involved…” She admitted, shaking her head and staring at her paws.
She had never really spoken with Blizzardoak about this before, never opened up to him like this. But ever since that…admittedly monumental experience with Wavebreaker, Irisdream has changed drastically. She’s been more expressive, while some habits still die hard. Such as hiding such…horrific injuries from her - former? - mate and daughter. “That girl of mine…her fur is always on edge.” She meowed with a soft sigh. The motherly kind of sigh of a parent who doesn’t know what to do about their nervous wreck of a child. “But I suppose you’re right. Kitepaw certainly doesn’t hide anything about how she’s feeling.” Irisdream had to admit, this kind of…openness was refreshing.
But onward, they needed to move quickly. She needed to find this water source Dusklion mentioned before Kitepaw went looking for her. Anxious as she was, her daughter had sharp eyes. It had taken a great deal of effort to avoid her all this time. Irisdream motioned with her head for her father to follow her, honestly part of this was some kind of an excuse to talk some. They hadn’t really had the opportunity to have real one-on-one time in well…ever. Even after Pebblestorm died, she hadn’t been able to open herself up to anycat, if anything it maybe made things worse. Now, she glanced at Blizzardoak from the side, then averted her gaze. Wondering if she should mention the…incident with Wavebreaker. Blizzardoak was Wavebreaker’s former mentor after all. They shared a tight bond, and Irisdream didn’t want to strain it.
Her whiskers quivered with the stress of her indecision as they walked the area immediately around the camp, looking for somewhere private where Irisdream could finally clean up.
[ @Quietheart - are you thinking of having Wavebreaker and Kitepaw discover her in this thread or later?]
Blizzardoak
|60 Moons|
”No she doesn’t.” Blizzardoak answered reassuringly, keeping his jovial tint. He turned to follow Irisdream as she padded away in search of water to cleanse her fur. He was thankful his words had seemed to ease the mood some. As they walked and drew closer to the scent of moisture his own mind turned to all the early days he had worried for his daughter, with Pebblestorm lurking over her shoulder. ”You know you caused me quite a bit of lost sleep back in the day. Sometimes you still do, but that's just part of being a good parent. No, a good feline.” The white warrior let his voice be easy and reminiscent, the words in his throat welling up with the love of a father. The next words that floated into his brain made his throat close, and he felt a sickening guilt tumble through him. He was glad Irisdream was in front of him and hoped she had not noticed his hesitation to speak. He gathered himself cautiously before speaking, ”Sometimes we don’t know what the future will hold, and we try to control it as best we can to..protect our children." The tom couldn’t avoid swallowing the words hard like a disgusting bile he didn’t want to erupt from his mouth. His words took on a somewhat somber tone.
Blizzardoak’s eyes were locked on his daughter's scarred form, feeling very aware of the chip in his own ear, and the scars on his body. Am I protecting her now by keeping my condition a secret from her? Am I too trying to control the uncontrollable? Iris would be furious at him for not treating his leg, and the long furred feline knew it. In reference to her own injuries the old tom kept telling himself that scars were just a part of warrior life, but he couldn’t deny that as a parent he felt responsible for his daughters' woes. It was after all his mistake that caused her to be forever locked into a manipulative relationship with her mother Pebblestorm. And he knew as she had stated, that Irisdreams injuries were more than physical. The momentary lapse in his confidence faded as he watched her pale blue gray form, she seemed like she wanted to say something. Blizzardak mastered himself “Sorry I had something in my throat, I keep thinking of prey since we have done all this walking. It will be good to get back to camp and have a nice meal.” He added I’m sure you and Kitepaw can have a chat then. Just let her know she can come to you for anything, give her an open invitation. She will come when she's ready, she only has one mother after all and its a good one.”
He mustered a smile, sincere in his words but still fighting the reality of his own situation beneath. Telling her now won’t help anything, she is working through her own problems and the last thing I want to do is pile on. The warrior pulled up alongside his kin, at the base of a gently flowing stream, a few overhanging birch trees rested nearby. Their long branches full of colorful leafs cast dancing shadows on either of their pelts. Within that darkness betwixt the light rested shallow secrets that lay beneath in sheltered hearts, whose furs were highlighted by the golden rays of the sun and saddled with the best of intentions.
Felt a little poetic at the end their, hope you don’t mind a little narration.
Irisdream had to admit that she appreciated Blizzardoak’s more light-hearted tone. She blinked her open eye gratefully when Blizzardoak found a water source. Dipping her paws, she immediately set to cleaning her face, specifically the blood that covered her eye until she was able to open both of them. Breathing a sigh of relief, she finally was starting to feel more comfortable in her own skin. Irisdream chuckled softly as Blizzardoak recounted the trouble she’d given him. “Sorry about that.” She mewed, continuing to clean her face. “I guess I had a…difficult time with absolute authority back then.”
Irisdream was not naïve. She knew how much Blizzardoak had stuck his neck out for her growing up. She stared down at her reflection in the water, musing Blizzardoak’s words. Try to control the future…to protect our children. Was she doing that to Kitepaw? Was she making the same type of mistakes as her mother in a different way? Staring at her own reflection, emotions swelled throughout her pelt down to the tips of her fur. She tried to hold back a hiss, ducking her head under the water briefly to shake her thoughts. Shaking her head of excess water, she gingerly cleaned her ear from the caked on blood. She flicked the water from her ears, watching the droplets make her reflection tremble before looking up at her father again. “I’m…I’m not sure I can face her…” She admitted.
Her white-toed paws trembled at the thought of showing herself to Kitepaw right now. She couldn’t face her daughter when she first returned to the temporary camp, and enough time and chaos had passed now that she wouldn’t even begin to know where to start or what she should do. She looked up at her father, eyes wide. “You said that…we as parents have a tendency to try and control things. To protect our children.” She took a moment to wade a little further out to the stream, enjoying the cooling sensation of the water moving against her legs. She closed her eyes for a moment, drinking in the moment. “A controlled environment is…safe. That’s a cardinal rule of nature.” She murmured, lifting her face into the sun, eyes still closed against the light.
“And yet, when it comes to children, a controlled environment can create…problems further down their path.” She opened her eyes, turning to look at her father again. “So…how can we know the difference?” She asked, her eyes gleaming with sorrow and grief. “Pebblestorm was…extreme. But seeing Kitepaw now…I can’t help but feel that I’m responsible for her anxiety.” She slowly stepped out of the stream. “I tried to keep her safe. Protect her, dote on her. But it seems that…” She exhaled and then took a deep breath again. “It seems that my efforts have blown up in my face…” She murmured, staring at her dripping paws again.
we create our own nightmares [P]
